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Men need to start stepping up to plate and re-assuming their roles as heads of our households, instead of expecting us to do their jobs for them.


We touched on this a bit in the "Are Black Men Still Leaders In The Home?" thread and it seems to be (both on the board and in the world based on an Essense survey) that men are looking to marriage for a life-long teammate. They are not interested in taking on a "Head of Household" position. They want to debate and defer and whathaveyou based on the situation at hand. So, in addition to not bringing in all the money, they also do not want to make most of the decisions or "wear the pants." To be a man in the house is not really much different from being a woman in the house. Men who feel this way are obviously not going to teach their sons (or daughters) to look at marriage any differently, so things are not likely to move in a different direction.

Like I said, if you want that type of situation, you have to show that that is where your value is, what you are most suited for. You can't just run out the gate with all this "I'M NOT WORKING!" business Big Grin
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Originally posted by Frenchy:
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Damn!


That's some language coming from a priest! Razz


One day a buisinessman and a priest went golfing together.

The skies were overcast, but they start playing. When the buisinessman misses an easy putt on the first hole, he exclaims "God Dammit! I missed that one!"

The priest is horrified, and cautions him that he ought not use the Lord's name in vain.

Dark clouds are gathering on the horizon when the buisinessman again misses an easy putt, and again he exclaims, "God dammit! I missed that one!"

The priest points to the gathering clouds, and warns the buisinessman about the consequences of using the Lord's name in vain.

This goes on hole after hole, with the businessman cursing, and the priest warning him.

Now, it is looking like a thunderstorm is gathering when, on the 18th hole, the buisinessman again misses an easy putt, thereby losing the game to the priest.

The buisinessman exclaims loudly "God dammit! I missed that one!"

Suddenly they heard a loud clap of thunder as a bolt of lightning from the clouds strikes the priest dead.

Looking up at the clouds, the buisinessman hears a loud booming voice bellowing down from the clouds...

"God dammit! I missed that one!"
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Originally posted by Rowe:
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Originally posted by folobatuyi:
There is a difference between taking out a lady on ONE NIGHT and dining her on a date as opposed to considering the long term relationship with a woman who really has nothing to offer, no ambitions or career plans.



Okay, for starters, Rowe...I guess I misrepresented myself in the last post. The main point is I would love to marry and appreciate a partner who really wants to say home in order to raise the kids, if there happens to be any at this rate. But I would be very naive to EXPECT a woman to want do so in view of today's opportunities simply because I want her to. No, instead, I would leave that in her ever-so-wise ability and desire to want to do that out of desire. I would also prefer if she had marketable skills in case there rises a need for additional support.
But on the other hand, I would not not mind being the dad at home if everything else works out. But ideally, I do want play a more visisble role in the family, hence my career choice.

So, oh, I get it, being a mother to your children and wife, is "nothing?" Its kind of sad that some men look upon stay-at-home mothers as "do-nothings." Perhaps some of you should try being full-time mothers, then you will see just how much "ambition" one needs to be one. In any event, I already understand from where you are coming. In fact, your idea of what a good woman is, is the result of the "Domestic Revolution" discussed in the article, a revolution that is unfortunately forcing many women to defer raising children until much later in their lives; some women never have children because they don't want to have to choose between keeping a successful career and being a responsible mother. Men, on the other hand, do not have to make this choice, so they could care less about the sacrifices that WE have to make in order to be YOUR wives and the mother of YOUR children. I get it, who cares about women, right? Just have my children, make money, and run yourselves into the ground. Well I ain't doing it.
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Originally posted by folobatuyi:
The main point is, I would love to marry and appreciate a partner who really wants to stay home in order to raise the kids, if there happens to be any at this rate. But on the other hand, I would not mind being the dad at home if everything else works out. But ideally, I do want play a more visible role in the family, hence my career choice.


Fine, I knew that an intelligent and inquisitive man such as yourself would eventually come to reason. Besides, you seem to be the only man on the forum that has been very successful and consistent at easing yourself out of my argumentative clutches. Smile
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Originally posted by Rowe:
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Originally posted by folobatuyi:
The main point is, I would love to marry and appreciate a partner who really wants to stay home in order to raise the kids, if there happens to be any at this rate. But on the other hand, I would not mind being the dad at home if everything else works out. But ideally, I do want play a more visible role in the family, hence my career choice.


Fine, I knew that an intelligent and inquisitive man such as yourself would eventually come to reason. Besides, you seem to be the only man on the forum that has been very successful and consistent at easing yourself out of my argumentative clutches. Smile


Thanks for the love, but I must say you are a tough cookie! But in all honesty, I really would not mind being a stay-at-home dad with the goal to bring up nerdy kids or even have a wife that is willing to do the same. It is just since starting med school, it seemed that ladies today tend not to want to stay at home and the mere suggestion of that to many of my friends is considered boarderline sexist...so I just became accustomed to expecting a lady to not want to be a stay-at-home mom even if everything else worked out.
So on reading your desire to be a stay-at-home mother, it just got me off guards. But in retrospect, after discussing the issue with my co-residents, it seems that there is a new shift in ladies wanting to stay home or work less hours for the sake of the kids...intriguing indeed. I guess this is the very option that the whole women's rights was about: more oppportunities, more choices...which is fine by me!
check this out, not only am I a housewife(part-time), but I go to college full time, have a full time job, and I work part-time during the week.

What does that make me? Crazy I guess.HA!!!!!!

It's nothing wrong being a housewife. That is a job in itself. My mom had eight of us BEBE kids, and she was a full-time housewife. I don't know how she did it.
Being a housewife and mother is a full-time job.

When women left the home to work, our kids started on a decline that they are still on.

IF she did her JOB, not watch tv and spend all day - I'd have the utmost respect for her knowing her place in the universe and knowing that ALL MEN come from them and they've got to train them before they get too old and form bad habits and become savages.

Women make men human. Without their influence, we're beasts.

Any woman that knew this is downright Godly.
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Originally posted by El Tigre:
Being a housewife and mother is a full-time job.

When women left the home to work, our kids started on a decline that they are still on.

IF she did her JOB, not watch tv and spend all day - I'd have the utmost respect for her knowing her place in the universe and knowing that ALL MEN come from them and they've got to train them before they get too old and form bad habits and become savages.

Women make men human. Without their influence, we're beasts.

Any woman that knew this is downright Godly.


hug Khalliqa exhales...

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