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12 replies

Would you date someone if they told you they had an STD?

NikcaraNikcaraA2
Grays Anatomy is one of my favorite shows. I watch it religiously. In one episode, one of the guys contracted syphilis. He, George was horrified, yet all of his colleagues, all doctors, were very relaxed, like hey get the shot and be done with it. It got so rancorous that they were jokingly calling him Syph-boy.

So now I am thinking to myself, maybe times have changed; maybe a disease is like a badge of honor. What was curious was that George contracted it from a nurse who was having sex with Alex and he gave it to her. Now here is the interesting part Alex is now dating Izzy, another doctor and George and Meredith's roommate. The nurse still wants George, but he has walked away from her. Izzy knew Alex had syphilis at least once, yet she does not seemed to be bothered in the least. So I am saying to myself it is one thing to find out your lover had an STD after you are already in love but what would you do if you knew walking in the door.

I saw a similar episode on ER so there seems to be a trend, at least for me. While I think that they would have reacted very differently to HIV or AIDS, it seems that curable disease are just a part of sex-life.

So now I am thinking well what about incurable ones like genital warts or herpes. I see commercials for herpes all the time on TV, and every person who has it is in some loving relationship, in the commercial, and their partners do not seem to have it, so are incurable but not deadly STDs ok now too?

The next logical question would have to be are ones that effect your reproductive organs and make it hard to get someone pregnant or get pregnant kool because of technology?

Sooooooo....... Here are my questions for the thread.

A. Would you date someone who you knew had had a curable STD if you knew it from the door, i.e. before you fell in love?

B. Would you date someone who you knew had an incurable STD if you knew it from the door, i.e. before you fell in love?

C. Would you continue to date someone who you knew had an incurable STD if you fell in love and already had sex with them?

C2. Would you have sex with that person if he or she told you prior to sex but after you were in love that they had an incurable STD.

D. Could you marry someone who had had multiple but curable STDs if you fell in love and already had sex with them?

E. Could you marry someone who had an incurable STD if you fell in love and already had sex with them?

F. If your partner made sure you never got sick, via various and sundry tactics, is ignorance of their STD history bliss?

G. Can ignorance of your partner's STD history ever be bliss?

H. Do commercials regarding STD medication make STDs social acceptable and a part of our sexual cultural landscape?
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MidLifeManMidLifeManA1
In short, I would say that I would have LESS of a problem with someone who had contracted a curable STD then an incurable one. My only problem would be if they had the STD and didn't disclose this – I had this happen to me once. And no...I didn't catch one.

I can't say that I could be a big enough person to remain in a relationship (no talking about marriage) with someone who discloses that they have an incurable STD
FrenchyFrenchyA1
quote:
A. Would you date someone who you knew had had a curable STD if you knew it from the door, i.e. before you fell in love?


Yes

quote:
B. Would you date someone who you knew had an incurable STD if you knew it from the door, i.e. before you fell in love?


Yes, if the STD was not life-threatening. I couldn't emotionally handle going into a relationship with someone who had a very limited amount of time left to live.

quote:
C. Would you continue to date someone who you knew had an incurable STD if you fell in love and already had sex with them?


Yes

quote:
C2. Would you have sex with that person if he or she told you prior to sex but after you were in love that they had an incurable STD.


Yes, with protection of course.

quote:
D. Could you marry someone who had had multiple but curable STDs if you fell in love and already had sex with them?


Yes

quote:
E. Could you marry someone who had an incurable STD if you fell in love and already had sex with them?


Yes

quote:
F. If your partner made sure you never got sick, via various and sundry tactics, is ignorance of their STD history bliss?


I suppose it could be. I don't think most people know for sure the up-to-date STD status of the people they sleep with. I can't imagine my partner would be able to carry on that charade for long though. That's a big secret to keep to yourself and try to shield from someone.

quote:
G. Can ignorance of your partner's STD history ever be bliss?


Yes. Some people are not well-educated about STDs and are prone to overreacting or jumping to all sorts of conclusions about what it means to have an STD. Prior, treated STDs should probably be kept from those kinds of people before they work themselves up over nonsense. Anything that can affect someone else's current quality of life and/or health, should be disclosed.

quote:
H. Do commercials regarding STD medication make STDs social acceptable and a part of our sexual cultural landscape?


I don't think the commercials make STDs socially-acceptable as much as they cut down on the misinformation and hysteria surrounding STDs.
S SurfingnymphC5
Nikcara you have changed your presentation, nothing incindiary here lol

quote:
quote:
A. Would you date someone who you knew had had a curable STD if you knew it from the door, i.e. before you fell in love?

Who has not, if they are cured why do I care.

quote:
B. Would you date someone who you knew had an incurable STD if you knew it from the door, i.e. before you fell in love?


Very good question, it depends on the compatability. If he is honest with me, which he apparently is by revealing this, then I think we have a good basis for a relationship as long as every thing else is in place [ mutual attraction, similar interest and goals] Does he surf? Big Grin hitit

quote:
C. Would you continue to date someone who you knew had an incurable STD if you fell in love and already had sex with them?

Depends, when did he tell me. Before or after we had sex. If it was before, then I made an informed decision, see B above. If he told me after the fact then I have serious trust issues now and he has serious confidence issues, sounds like a recipe for disaster.


quote:
C2. Would you have sex with that person if he or she told you prior to sex but after you were in love that they had an incurable STD.


See B above.

quote:
D. Could you marry someone who had had multiple but curable STDs if you fell in love and already had sex with them?


See A above.

quote:
E. Could you marry someone who had an incurable STD if you fell in love and already had sex with them?


See B above

quote:
F. If your partner made sure you never got sick, via various and sundry tactics, is ignorance of their STD history bliss?

I think the only way you can make sure is to be open and honest, it is like birth control nothing is 100%, so no I would want to know. Informed Consent.


quote:
G. Can ignorance of your partner's STD history ever be bliss?


If they are curable, again why do I need to know, incurable I need to know. Knowledge is Bliss.

quote:
H. Do commercials regarding STD medication make STDs social acceptable and a part of our sexual cultural landscape?



I think so yes, just like seeing mutli racial televison makes the world look at people differently, i.e. who is keeping up with Johnson on American Airlines.
NikcaraNikcaraA2
Surfingnymph, you kill me counsel, I tried not to ask to extreme a question this time. bump

Glad to see that my question proves the point that some people are open to it and some are not. I for one agree with the sentiments of Frenchy, Surfingnymph,Donna and Blacksanction.

But respect the responses of all posters. P.C. enough for you SN ohsnap
M ma'amA1
You never know, but I believe I'd have trouble being with someone with a STD.

The more curable, the easier.

More more easily transmittable, the harder.

Ignorance is never bliss. Deliberately keeping me ignorant will blight you once I find out.

I think commercial might help ease stigma. Or at least make certain illnesses easier to discuss.

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