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I am very cautious about trusting women because some are just as capable of being deceitful, underhanded, callous, two-timing, untrustworthy, indifferent and backstabbing as men"”if not worse. I am mindful that women, especially black women, have been treated unfairly, perhaps even more so than vis versa, nevertheless, it is no excuse for them to behave the way they do, especially towards innocent men. Two wrongs don't make a right"”a woman has no more right to mistreat a man than a man has a right to mistreat a woman, regardless of the reason or excuse.

In my personal experience, some of the women I've dated tried to enforce double-standards. In other words, ˜it's okay for me to treat you the way I do/play the silly games I play because.....' Even though I sympathize with black women in their trials and tribulations in dealing with black men, I refuse to be subjected to the collateral punishment a sister will inflict on a brother due to the sins of brothers from their past.

I have a distinct problem with a woman that uses her past experiences as an excuse to behave in a dysfunctional way towards me, for whatever reason. If I can take the time to teach myself how to be more resilient and optimistic with future prospective mates, so should the woman"”this is why I have taught myself how to use a romantic barometer when in the initial stages of getting to know a woman.

When a woman acts aloof or maintains a certain emotional distance, I will make the necessary effort to communicate that inconsistency to her. If after clear communication is achieved, then the next step is to observe her behavior. If the same negative behavior persists, then it's time for me to pull back emotionally.

No, I don't feel it is necessary for a woman to have the freedom to gamble with my emotions while she is free to proceed with her life, take risks and push the limits of my emotional boundaries, yet, if I am inconsistent in my behavior then I am punished and, thereby, for future purposes, she will behave begrudgingly towards me.

I refuse to invest myself emotionally any further with a woman that will make excuses on a continuous basis for her inconsistencies, yet remain emotionally dissonant.

Some women have a tendency to want a man to come out of pocket for them but they will not come out of pocket for you"”they will maintain whatever course they have chosen to maintain in the course of interacting with you, regardless of the sacrifices you make to get closer to them"”in other words, she may not allow professional or educational endeavors to be thrown off track but it's okay for the man, whom may think his efforts are making progress with her romantically, to lose his mind chasing after her, if he's naïve and gullible enough to do so.

I said all that to say this"”sisters, we brothers who endeavor to reach our goals are just as at risk as you are"”we have just as much to lose, emotionally, educationally, and career wise by trusting our hearts with you. Fairness should be exercised on behalf of both black men and black women or a lot more brothers and sisters will be living the single life and for much longer than anticipated.
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You get no argument from me. Trust is something to be earned whether it is relationships, business, friendships, etc. Women have learned to devious and heartless, because it works for men. People have a lot to lose regardless of gender. Women have had to pick up a lot of slack that men left behind, so you can't expect women to have that innocence that was lost so long ago.

Communication is key. Sometimes you have to break it down to the very last compound to reach some type of understanding. Relationships are difficult at best and if you go into it with mistrust and negative expectations, that is exactly what you are going to get.

But, with all due respect, you gotta lighten up. With all of the intensity and negativity that you throw out there from the very beginning, how do you expect to find a relationship that encompasses the things you desire?

Stay single for a while, my brother, and learn that life has a course for your life. Take yourself less seriously and learn to listen to the inner voice that is attempting to guide you.

As an aside: Many women don't come out of their pockets because they are single/divorced from men who don't help them raise their children. Other women make 76% of what a man makes for doing the same job. You want old fashioned values, but don't recognize that things are tougher for women than you could ever imagine.

Why can't men and women just be straight up and reach goals together?
Sandye, you really shouldn't judge what kind of personality I have nor should you judge my attitude simply by how I write.

What I write in these and other forums are mearly expressions of my thoughts on various interpersonal issues that cross my mind. Now, in person, my social life--my interaction with women--is quite different. In person, I could honestly say I fair well--better than the average brother--but I still maintain my single status.

Maybe you should talk to the ladies that know me better--the ladies that I braught to this site--HeavenlyBody_77, qty226 and AVISUNSHYNE. They would give you a much better perspective than anyone in here could, especially sense I've only been in here for a week.
I didn't mention your personality or your attitude, Iron, as I hardly know you well enough to do anything like that. I spoke directly to the expressions of your thoughts on various interpersonal issues that cross your mind, as you so eloquently put it.

Since you have only been here a week and you have made some very strong and controversial comments, all I can go by are the statements that you make here in this forum. I don't seek out or trust opinions of others that I don't know, but thank you anyway for providing references of others who know you better.

As time passes and you reveal more of who you are, perhaps I will see that you are different than the "average brother" if there is such a thing.

My very first statement was "You get no argument from me" and you still don't. Smile
See, Sandye, you are one of only a very few people that are open-minded enough to express your opinion--write discussions and respond to other people's discussions without resorting to being subjective. One of the things I think is a shortcoming about this site is the frigid, bourgeoisie, supercilious, haughty, conceited manner in which people express themselves on this site, which is why, out of over 500 members, only 10 or 12 are actually logged on and even fewer actually post discussions.

Now, don't get me wrong--I have had the pleasure of engaging in some very pleasurable conversations too, yours being one, nevertheless, the pace at which topics are discussed and the rate at which new, interesting, thought provoking, and conscious-raising discussions are posted are few and far between.

I'm sure some people, especially the ones that have made it their priority to express their disappointment in my threads or make personal attacks are the reason why many of these discussions have an exorbantly high number of viewers but, in comparison, only a miniscule amount of written responses--no one wants to be followed by some childish, easily threatened people that think it's their duty to tell newcomers, whether indirectly or directly, how to interact in AA.org.

You are one of the better, more enlightened personalities on this site, Sandye, and, of course, over time you will come to experience some of the other facets of my diverse personality.
Well Iron.....as you know im always willing to learn, but i will never just AGREE with you. Big Grin

Now....this is my problem.

I take dating seriously, because each man that i become involved with, is a potential mate, husband, and my babies daddy.

With that being said.......before i jump in and date any man seriously..........you better believe i will know ALL there is to know about him.

You mentioned, "woman forcing double standards, or using her dysfunctional ways towards you, deceitful", etc, etc.

I can detect this in a man, before i DATE him........and i think its best, because i dont want the extra baggage that comes along with dealing with these issues over and over again.

I have men, that want me to direct all of my attention towards them without, them first learning or getting to know me on a personal/deeper level...............and i have to admit i am stand offish when this happens.

I agree with Sandye........communication is key. Conversing with a person 'sometimes', is not going to help in a lot of these situations.

I know im all over the place with this response.........but forgive me, classes start today.....and i 'aint' ready to deal with it!! lol sck (But i think you know what i mean)
Let me reiterate, QTY, that it isn't imperative for you or anyone else to agree with my opinions--I welcome differences in opinion--how can I learn to be a better person, a better man, a better lover, if I can't learn from varying opinions and points of view?

I haven't come as far as I have in my life by shutting out other people's ideas, values and beliefs. I may have a tendency to sound overbearing, domineering and intimidating in my writings but you can only learn so much from a person by interacting with them on the internet.

Nevertheless, I will refer back to a comment you made:

quote:
"I have issues trusting men."


Any man is going to have this 'issue' looming in the back of their mind in the course of getting to know you, especially if you have made this issue you have apparent to them. Being standoffish is only going to exacerbate the situation, which is why you have experienced men that have had a tendency to want all of your attention.

The typical man (I don't mean typical in a demeaning way) is going to respond in one of two ways: try to control the amount of time you invest with him or become frustrated, eventually lose interest altogether and pursue someone else. Some men, however, have the wisdom, patience, and visionary state of mind to give you the necessary space and time to overcome your doubts and fears of men. Some men have the insight to refrain from forcing a nurturing friendship to a romantic level in order to make a woman feel more comfortable and willing to make steps toward resolving and overcoming issues as you have stated you have.

I most definately agree and understand where you're coming from, QTY, nevertheless, love and the pursuit of happiness is a two-way street. If you value marriage--love and happiness at the level you have expressed that you want it in your life, you are going to have to make some emotional risks, at some point in time, to achieve that level of success, in other words, you gotta pay to play.
quote:
Stay single for a while, my brother, and learn that life has a course for your life. Take yourself less seriously and learn to listen to the inner voice that is attempting to guide you.


Sandye, as I have said before, I am single--even though I do date from time to time, I haven't been romantically invovled with a woman for quite some time. Lighten up? HA HA HA HA HA!!! See, this is where you, once again, are just going to have to get to know me. I've been so busy explaining away all of these assumptions you've been throwing at me, you haven't given me a chance to express the lighter side of me, and, since you have stated you don't trust other people's opinions, you're just going to have to be patient and see for yourself what kind of person I am.

It would help, though, Sandye, if you would just ask me what kind of person I am--what I'm interested in, my thoughts and concerns on interpersonal relationships, love, life in general, instead of continuing to make assumptions like thinking I'm uptight and looking for an argument all the time. Just because I may challenge someone's opinions doesn't mean I'm confrontational or angry. Maybe you could try lightening up a little yourself, Sandye, and tell me something about you that you would find to be unique and appealing kiss
With all due respect, Iron, the term "lighten up" was not meant to be interpreted as any assumption on my part ... it was meant to be interpreted that you come across pretty hard with your statements and that sometimes it is difficult to discern where you are coming from. People who know you may understand, but there are others, such as myself, who want to embrace you and don't understand where the negativity is coming from.

I never felt the need to ask you any questions, as you are quite adept at expressing yourself. If there is something you wish to share, I am sure you are more than capable of doing so. I never used the words "confrontational" or "angry", because that is not how I view you.

I will, however, address the query you placed at my feet. One of the many things that is unique and appealing about me is my passion and undying loyalty to those I love - without expecting anything in return. If I am on your side, you have a friend who will never let you down. If, on the other hand, you choose to become my enemy, you have a formidable opponent who will fight to the death without losing my femininity, graciousness, integrity, or breaking a fingernail. It takes a very long time and much experience for me to name anyone as a "friend" or "enemy" because I am always willing to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. We all have our demons ...
You must be an Aries, Sandye. My personality is very similar to yours. People are always assuming that I come across so tough and strong in my casual writings or however you want to put it but the fact of the matter is, I'm not going to change my casual style of writing because some people are so hypersensitive to how I express myself.

Of all the sites I've visited, of all the forums I've posted in, this is the only one where people have been so unecessarily sensitive to every single word that is typed. Like I said before, just get to know me and leave it at that. It won't kill you to converse with someone that doesn't feel the need to prance around on his tippy toes, in a literary sense of the term, just to interact with someone on a website.

I'm trying to break this new habit of restating, quoting, and re-explaining everything I say so, lets just talk to each other like normal human beings--I appreciate you giving me a better prospective into your personality. I'm still intrigued with how you express yourself, you're very sensual, dignified, poised, and purposeful in your expressions--or maybe it's just gazing at your pic of Sade is distracting eyes nevertheless, you are a very relaxing person to talk to, when you aren't trying to indirectly turn me into a kinder, gentler IRONHORSE lol
I beg to differ, Sandye--even though the picture of Sade is very alluring, photos don't sway how I percieve someone. Whether you consider yourself to be photogenic or not isn't the point. The point is your overall beauty--intrensic as well as extrensic.

As Prince said: "You don't have to be rich to be my girl, you don't have to be cruel to rule my world...all I want is yo extra time and yo *smooch, smooch, smooch, smooch, smooch* kiss."

Yeah, I know that was silly but you get my point Wink

heart
quote:
Originally posted by IRONHORSE:
I said all that to say this"”sisters, we brothers who endeavor to reach our goals are just as at risk as you are"”we have just as much to lose, emotionally, educationally, and career wise by trusting our hearts with you.


I would have to to take up issue with this part of your observation. Too often, its the woman who is much too anxious and quick to make emotional, spiritual, and physical (sexual) sacrifices in order to maintain the interest of men. Women, particulary black women, tend to fall in love with whoever wants to love them and they play a passive, rather than ACTIVE role, in their efforts to find satisfying relationships. Men, on the other hand, while they will certainly jump at the chance to sleep with an attractive woman, will not make you their girlfriend of wife until you meet certain qualifications. Therefore I find that interestingly enough, men tend to be alot more selective in terms of finding a soulmate than women!
quote:
Originally posted by Rowe:
quote:
Originally posted by IRONHORSE:
I said all that to say this"”sisters, we brothers who endeavor to reach our goals are just as at risk as you are"”we have just as much to lose, emotionally, educationally, and career wise by trusting our hearts with you.


I would have to to take up issue with this part of your observation. Too often, its the woman who is much too anxious and quick to make emotional, spiritual, and physical (sexual) sacrifices in order to maintain the interest of men. Women, particulary black women, tend to fall in love with whoever wants to love them and they play a passive, rather than ACTIVE role, in their efforts to find satisfying relationships. Men, on the other hand, while they will certainly jump at the chance to sleep with an attractive woman, will not make you their girlfriend of wife until you meet certain qualifications. Therefore I find that interestingly enough, men tend to be alot more selective in terms of finding a soulmate than women!


Dear Rowe,
I am sorry but I am on the same boat with Ironhorse on this issue. I disagree that it is men that are "alot more selective in terms of finding a soulmate". Instead, women are just as likely to be picky and vain in deciding and picking a mate as personal experience has taught me. It started from high school with the girls dissing the unbecoming nerdy boy (that was me) and yearn for that fair skinned dude with the nice wavy hair or the quarterback.
No, I feel women are just as selective as men are in choosing their mates.

Felix
ironhorse keep this in mind:

when a man is dogged out, is he left with a baby to raise after her disappearance? (very rarely)

is he considered a ho for having a sexuality? (never)

can a woman sexually assault a man? (very very unusual)


no matter how you slice it, men can never be as wronged by a woman as a woman can be wronged by a man. so i don't feel badly for men who feel they've been dogged. trust me, until you've tried being a woman, you don't know what dogged is. . .
quote:
Originally posted by little minx:
can a woman sexually assault a man? (very very unusual)
Yes she can and it is very common.
First it is not unusual for a woman to be with one man and a few hours later she is with another and ask the second man to go down on her orally. The second man is being made to drink another man's semen unknowingly and this to me is an assault. The woman has practically made a homosexual of the second man.

Oh and not to mention it is very easy for women to pass off one man's child as another man's child. If a man did that to a woman he would be sent to prison forever. Women do it without batting an eyelid or suffer a shred of conscience.

Taking the foregoing examples into consideration if it comes to sexual assaults, a woman beats a man hands down in terms of damage caused.
**i posted this on your other thread, but i thought it was actually better placed here**

ironhorse,

i'm really starting to wonder what's up. if you are half of what you say you are, you should be dating non stop, with sisters of great character, education and intelligence. heck, i might even expect you to be married with children by now. perhaps what frenchy and mbm have said are points that you really need to consider. perhaps you put off a vibe that keeps you from attracting the women you want.
henry,

this may shock you, but i totally disagree with everything you've said.

your first paragraph: what would you call that woman? how about a man who behaves the same way? the homosexual reference is really misplaced and irrelevant.

it is not easy to pass of one child as another man's child. it's called dna testing. and men abandon women with their children all the time. men are not jailed for this. most single mothers raise their children alone without manipulating anyone. can the same be said of men?

your final comment about sexual assault is insulting, especially to women who have been assaulted. if these are examples of what you think sexual assault is, you are sadly mistaken. i known women who have been assaulted and have discussed their feelings and experiences of that. my best attempt at describing it, would be to say that it is a brutal, demeaning, soul killing experience both physically and emotionally. the appauling statistical liklihood that a woman will be sexually abused and/or assaulted in her lifetime is disgusting.

please don't ever say again that women beat men hands down when it comes to sexual assault. that statement is not only wrong, but in my opinion severely ignorant, sad, and insulting.
quote:
Originally posted by little minx:
your final comment about sexual assault is insulting, especially to women who have been assaulted. if these are examples of what you think sexual assault is, you are sadly mistaken. i known women who have been assaulted and have discussed their feelings and experiences of that. i can't even put it into words, but my best attempt would be to say that it is a brutal, demeaning, soul killing experience both physically and emotionally. the appauling statistical liklihood that a woman will be sexually abused and/or assaulted in her lifetime is disgusting.

please don't ever say again that women beat men hands down when it comes to sexual assault. that statement is not only wrong, but in my opinion severely ignorant, sad, and insulting.

I did not mean it to be insulting in any way at all. If you feel insulted by by it , I am sorry.

What I am interjecting is show that women in their own way can assault a man sexually.

DNA is a new. What women have done to men has spanned millenia and I am asking you not to ignore or overlook it. If you take the sum total of what I am talking about into consideration I am sure you can see I am not insulting but stating a fact and in this sense I am talking about the extent of the damage caused
Oh, come on, Henry!

You are trying to compare having multiple sexual partners and having affairs (which, BTW, men do as well as women) with sexual assualt and rape?

Let's get real. This is an offensive trivialization of sexual assault.

Cheating on your spouse may not be nice, but it is hardly in the same league as a man raping a woman, or sexual abuse of a child by an adult.
quote:
when a man is dogged out, is he left with a baby to raise after her disappearance?


This, little minx, is what should be on every sisters mind, young and old, when they come across a brother that peaks their fancy--think twice before laying down with the brother and willfully give up the booty.

quote:
no matter how you slice it, men can never be as wronged by a woman as a woman can be wronged by a man.


...which is precisely why sisters need to take more responsibility with their own bodies rather than putting their life in a man's hands.

quote:
ironhorse,

i'm really starting to wonder what's up. if you are half of what you say you are, you should be dating non stop, with sisters of great character, education and intelligence. heck, i might even expect you to be married with children by now. perhaps what frenchy and mbm have said are points that you really need to consider. perhaps you put off a vibe that keeps you from attracting the women you want.


The problem is, you, MBM, and Frenchy have taken one isolated event of a discussion I made about sisters in gradschool, and judged me to be someone that is as far away from what you are percieving as heaven is from earth. Did I ever say I was lonely? Did I ever say I was alone? Did I ever say I had trouble dating women?

What's most important, when referring back to the original discussion, is that I said the women weren't romantically available. What I mean by being romantically available is, when I date a woman, I want her full attention; she must be ready and willing to interact with intensions of developing a relationship, in other words, when I pursue a woman I don't pursue with intensions of only being sexually involved. These women were sexually available but not romantically available.

This is where the bias comes into play--sisters, more often than not, think that brothers are the only ones that premeditatedly pursue the opposite sex with intensions of only having sex. Sisters have a tendency to think that the only thing on a brothers mind is
sex. There are sisters out there, little minx, that operate in the same way that brothers do--there are sisters out there, too, that also want the benefits of sex without the responsibilities of being in a relationship--this is not what I want.

Well, Little minx, I can only speak for myself when I say when I pursue a woman romantically, I pursue her with intensions of making her my wife, not just a lover, a bed buddy, a booty call. I love women and I enjoy the company of women--I can still date women and not have to be sexually involved with them.


I do recall saying that I was casually dating but I'm not romantically involved or, let me put this more clearly, fucking anyone, nor do I have any sexual partners on the side.

First of all, I've just completed my masters degree program last year, completed another year as a professional, and, secondly, I'm in the last few weeks of getting ready for comprehensive exams, which is a 6 hour long test. Thirdly, I'm also in the process of relocating.

Even if I did want to become romantically involved with a woman right now--I have a conscience--it wouldn't make sense to get involved with a woman only to leave her and move to another city. That would be rather selfish and inconsiderate.

Little Minx, why don't you take the time to get to know me for yourself, like Sandye is doing, instead of going by what other people say about me?
There is no irony, little minx, it's simply the truth--many black women are biased in reference to black interpersonal relationships.

How is it okay for sisters to have their experiences with men, express their frustrations with them but brothers don't have a right to because we're outnumbered? That is truly preposterous.

I guess, by your standards, because I'm an elligible black man, that I should do what you say, rush out and get married, right? That is the same close-minded mentality many brothers put on sisters--if she's attractive, making good money, and doesn't have any kids but she's single, then there must be something wrong with her.

Brothers have just as much of a right, even moreso than sisters, since we don't have biological clocks, to wait for marriage and improve themselves financially, spiritually, and educationally. Many of your sisteren are doing it now--buying their own homes, taking lavish vacations, and making other big purchases--why can't we brothers do the same?

There is no irony in any of my discussions, little minx. My discussion is no different than any other of my female counterparts that are endeavoring to do the same thing I am--to achieve personal success and happiness, thereby, being more of a valuable mate.

Nature dictates that I can wait--you can't, minx.
quote:
Originally posted by IRONHORSE:

Brothers have just as much of a right, even moreso than sisters, since we don't have biological clocks, to wait for marriage and improve themselves financially, spiritually, and educationally.

...

Nature dictates that I can wait--you can't, minx.


Of course, unless you plan on eventually marrying a woman considerably younger than yourself (or expect to take advantage of future advances in cloning technology!), you will inherit your future wife's biological clock from her. It's your biological clock, too.

Eek Razz
i don't think you've answered my question. which is a shame considering the length of your response. so again i ask you:

you start a thread called, "why trust sisters" and then you start complaining that others are making sweeping generalizations about you?

do you see the irony. . do you?

p.s.- the idea is that maybe you should take your own advice to women. look at your own behavior and how it's effecting you.

upon first reading, when you said nature dictates you can wait, and i can't . . .it sounded alittle arrogant. but i'm going to assume you didn't mean it that way. now understanding that a woman has a biological clock, i wonder why you have a hard time understanding why many black women are frustrated about not being able to find a man.

and when did i make the argument that you should be married? that wasn't my point.
quote:
Originally posted by little minx:
ironhorse keep this in mind:

when a man is dogged out, is he left with a baby to raise after her disappearance? (very rarely)

is he considered a ho for having a sexuality? (never)


Of course a man will never be called a ho, since males are taught to say YES to sex. It's when he doesn't have sex is when people think something's wrong with him.
quote:
and when did i make the argument that you should be married?


I believe you implied an 'argument when you made this statement, Little Minx:

quote:
i'm really starting to wonder what's up. if you are half of what you say you are, you should be dating non stop, with sisters of great character, education and intelligence. heck, i might even expect you to be married with children by now.


Little minx, did you make that comment or am I seeing things?

As far as the title, "Why Trust Sisters," as I have already explained, I use the tactic of alliteration to get the onlooker's attention:

quote:
there's a stylistic device that newspaper publishing companies employ when putting together titles for articles.(There are actually people employed at newspapers for the sole purpose of creating catchy titles to articles)--it's called ALLITERATION. alliteration is a great help to memory: it is 'catchy', and frequently used in news headlines, corporate names, literary titles, advertising, buzzwords, and nursery rhymes.


Now, Little Minx, if you will read the begining of my discussion, you will get a better idea of what I'm talking about:

quote:
I am very cautious about trusting women because some are just as capable of being deceitful, underhanded, callous, two-timing, untrustworthy, indifferent and backstabbing as men"”if not worse. I am mindful that women, especially black women, have been treated unfairly, perhaps even more so than vis versa, nevertheless, it is no excuse for them to behave the way they do, especially towards innocent men. Two wrongs don't make a right"”a woman has no more right to mistreat a man than a man has a right to mistreat a woman, regardless of the reason or excuse.


That sounded pretty fair to me, Little Minx. For some reason, it seems that sisters think just because a brother may be an elligible bachelor, there's a Credit Union or a First National Bank filled with single sisters--all a brother has to do is swipe his credit card of availability, and out pops a single, attractive, professional sister with no kids and no hang-ups--they live happily ever after--have 2.3 kids, a dog and a white pickett fence--The End.

Ebony Magazine showcases just as many top single, successful brothers as they do top single, successful sisters--so what's wrong with those brothers? Those brothers are doctors, lawyers, business owners, executives, etc. but somehow, they need Ebony Magazine to help them find romance? So, what's wrong with them, Little Minx? They're all arrogant just like me, right? lol

What's cracking me up is all of you keep calling me arrogant but read this self-absorbed, cocky piece of garbage:

quote:
I walk the way I do, FOR A WOMAN. I cut my hair, FOR A WOMAN. I shave, FOR A WOMAN. Whatevery THEY like, you best believe Ima do. A man that says otherwise is the one hiding in the closet. THEY turn heads all the time. I DO TO. Mix my Alpha Mentality with some nice fittin's, and skurp (they hittin' the breaks). I don't know when the last time I had to build the nerve to approach a woman. Shux, lately I've been trippin' off of womens pick up lines... ({stops dead in her trax} oh my god...{talking to her friend} he is so beautiful) (my numbers in your pocket)and the latest (So... when are you going to call me?)



That was your boy, HeruStar, that said all that trash--but I'm the arrogant bastard, right? I fail to see how using one word, SUBDUE, or making one simple sentence can so easily be misinterpreted as being arrogant when that loser spouted enough sexist garbage to fill up an BFI dumbster.
quote:
p.s.- the idea is that maybe you should take your own advice to women. look at your own behavior and how it's effecting you.


Okay--here's the problem. You're trying to merge your perceptions of me, from what you read on a website, with how I conduct myself in person on a real date.

The effect my behavior has had on me has been 99% effective in attracting the type of women I'm attracted to--end of story--there is no "Well, maybe you should..." or "How about trying..." No--there is no need for anyone's advice or suggestions. How can you give advice to a guy on how to score with a woman when he has already scored with the woman he's talking about? Doesn't make sense, does it?

You keep missing the fact that I said I'm not alone and I'm not lonely. At what point did I ever say something like, "I don't know what to do, I can't get a date and I don't know why?"

I talk about one incident where I didn't want to be with a female just for the sake of screwing her, and all of a sudden I have problems--I'm arrogant, I need to take my own advice, I don't know how to talk to women, blah, blah, blah.

What frustrates me is I can write three to six paragraphs of something I feel may be helpful or meaningful, and all I get is, "He's arrogant..he used the word, subdue....why did he say not to trust sisters?"

Read the message instead of getting caught up in titles and use of one or two words.
quote:
Of course a man will never be called a ho, since males are taught to say YES to sex. It's when he doesn't have sex is when people think something's wrong with him.


Amen, Huey, you ain't never lied. If a sister says she's saving herself then she's praised and respected--if a brother says he's saving himself, then he's either gay or sterile or crazy.
quote:
Of course, unless you plan on eventually marrying a woman considerably younger than yourself (or expect to take advantage of future advances in cloning technology!), you will inherit your future wife's biological clock from her. It's your biological clock, too.


You make it sound like I'm in my seventies--I'm only 33, furthermore, I look a hell of a lot younger than my age. That's also a problem with some sisters--they think if they don't have a child between the age of 21 and 29, their eggs will dry up. I don't see what the fuss is all about, especially since sisters are one of the most fertile race of women on the planet (Only second to hispanics).
quote:
Originally posted by IRONHORSE:
quote:
Of course, unless you plan on eventually marrying a woman considerably younger than yourself (or expect to take advantage of future advances in cloning technology!), you will inherit your future wife's biological clock from her. It's your biological clock, too.


You make it sound like I'm in my seventies--I'm only 33, furthermore, I look a hell of a lot younger than my age. That's also a problem with some sisters--they think if they don't have a child between the age of 21 and 29, their eggs will dry up. I don't see what the fuss is all about, especially since sisters are one of the most fertile race of women on the planet (Only second to hispanics).


Nah...you mentioned the woman's biological clock, not me, in a context that distinguished it from the man's.

The biological clock is real, however. My wife is often mistaken for being half her age (I wish that I could say the same about me!), but looking young doesn't change the fact that her biological clock expired a couple of decades ago (dispite being both Black and Hispanic), and mine along with hers.
You know what, IronHorse ...?

Upon observation of a variety of your posts thusfar, I've come to the (at least preliminary) conclusion that you may very well be (at least most) of all you say you are, with an undoubtedly complex persona that would make you categorically unable to fit into any one style and make it difficult (at best) to fully capture the whole of your essence in a few message board postings.

But that being said, you really are indeed arrogant! Big Grin It's a trait that seems to run within every Aries man that I know. Now, not that that's necessarily a bad thing ... (everybody's boat floats a different way!) ... but, since you place such high esteem on truth and honesty, it would do you well to embrace that part of your character along with all the rest of it if you are going to present your observations as substantive of your knowledge and experience! Smile



::: Retreating back to my corner with my popcorn and continuing to watch the sparks fly ::: Eek

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