Skip to main content

Last night I was enjoying some superb live jazz at a local spot with a couple of good male friends. I was surprised that these two nice-looking, strong, funny, hard-working guys were complaining that the women they would like to date "don't want anything to do" with men like them.

Why? I asked. "If you are not making in the high six figures, the average woman wants nothing to do with you," said one. My other friend believes "women want knuckleheads; guys who use and abuse them. A lot of women do not want nice guys," he lamented.

We spent much of the night, between the sweet sax rhythms, discussing why many women are attracted to emotionally abusive, unavailable guys. Maybe it's the challenge of trying to change a bad boy into a good man or perhaps it's a woman's tendency to forgive the bad and savor the good. How do I know?
Been there, done that, have t-shirts in all sizes.

I believe everybody wants to be loved and treated well. All that glitters is not gold. Sometimes it just takes kissing lots of dark and moody frogs to find a shining prince.

Do nice guys finish last?

www.robynwrites.com
Robyn McGee, author Hungry for More: A Keeping it Real Guide for Black Women on Weight and Body Image
Last edited {1}
Original Post

Replies sorted oldest to newest

quote:
Originally posted by hungry4more:
Last night I was enjoying some superb live jazz at a local spot with a couple of good male friends. I was surprised that these two nice-looking, strong, funny, hard-working guys were complaining that the women they would like to date "don't want anything to do" with men like them.

Why? I asked. "If you are not making in the high six figures, the average woman wants nothing to do with you," said one. My other friend believes "women want knuckleheads; guys who use and abuse them. A lot of women do not want nice guys," he lamented.

We spent much of the night, between the sweet sax rhythms, discussing why many women are attracted to emotionally abusive, unavailable guys. Maybe it's the challenge of trying to change a bad boy into a good man or perhaps it's a woman's tendency to forgive the bad and savor the good. How do I know?
Been there, done that, have t-shirts in all sizes.

I believe everybody wants to be loved and treated well. All that glitters is not gold. Sometimes it just takes kissing lots of dark and moody frogs to find a shining prince.

Do nice guys finish last?


hungry4more:
With all due respect, I think your boys have missed it. Have they asked themselves why they'd want to be burdened with a woman who makes a key (relationship)decision on how much money someone makes? do not character, personality, intellect matter?

Do they not consider themselves worthy of a woman whose criteria at least considers a man's capacity for commitment, sincerity, compassion? Yes, economic security is important, but if these particular sistas make their decisions/calls on a man's salary situation, then your boys should realize they got away clean and maybe should be grateful for that.

...and to answer your question? nah, we don't finish last. Smile
quote:
I believe everybody wants to be loved and treated well.

while I agree with this of course, I don't think it's enough to sustain a long-term relationship. A couple doesn't have to be 'joined at the hip', but I believe you must share enough common interests to do together to keep you both happy and involved. While the interests you don't share, allow each person to bring fresh ideas, and different input to the relationship to keep it interesting.

Money can come and go depending on circumstances. Money allows more options, and lack of money makes you creative and inventive by necessity. I guess my 'barometer' is if you can have a great time with someone without money, you always will. Money is the icing on the cake, not the egg that binds the ingredients. My 2 cents.
quote:
Originally posted by the quiet one:
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
To answer the thread question, the only viable answer I can come up with is...women are knuckleheads too.

Every other excuse, I refuse to believe based on the grounds of logic and rational reasoning. 14


Oh, cut it out!


Hey prove me wrong. I'll be happy to take the hit.
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
quote:
Originally posted by the quiet one:
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
To answer the thread question, the only viable answer I can come up with is...women are knuckleheads too.

Every other excuse, I refuse to believe based on the grounds of logic and rational reasoning. 14


Oh, cut it out!


Hey prove me wrong. I'll be happy to take the hit.



I think you and i, have had this conversation before.

Lets say this.....

Youre in a club, and there are 3 women standing together.........and you pick one of the 3 to either dance with, or talk to. Most men will end up picking the same woman (one of the 3) over and over again.

Now the strange part about this.....is that none of the other women are ugly or look bad.....they are "average".

Ok, she turns you down.........and pays attention to the "knucklehead" (whatever that means).

How could you possibly get upset, when you had your choice........and you chose her, and not one of the "average" sistas.

My point is this..........

A lot of "average" women are overlooked, and men complain after the fact.

These are excuses.....
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
quote:
Originally posted by the quiet one:
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
To answer the thread question, the only viable answer I can come up with is...women are knuckleheads too.

Every other excuse, I refuse to believe based on the grounds of logic and rational reasoning. 14


Oh, cut it out!


Hey prove me wrong. I'll be happy to take the hit.



I think you and i, have had this conversation before.

Lets say this.....

Youre in a club, and there are 3 women standing together.........and you pick one of the 3 to either dance with, or talk to. Most men will end up picking the same woman (one of the 3) over and over again.

Now the strange part about this.....is that none of the other women are ugly or look bad.....they are "average".

Ok, she turns you down.........and pays attention to the "knucklehead" (whatever that means).

How could you possibly get upset, when you had your choice........and you chose her, and not one of the "average" sistas.

My point is this..........

A lot of "average" women are overlooked, and men complain after the fact.

These are excuses.....


What is your definition of "average?" Is Kelly Rowland "average" compared to Beyonce?
Is Jessica Alba "average" to Eva Mendes?
Is Vida Guerra "average" to Jennifer Lopez?
Last edited {1}
quote:
Originally posted by Huey:

What is your definition of "average?" Is Kelly Rowland "average" compared to Beyonce?


Yes exactly.......

Most men will date Beyonce in a heart beat. Just look at the amount of pics that men put up on this board........and the comments.

Where are the pics of Kelly? Or Michelle?

The key is that a LOT of men pick the same woman.....in an enviroment, where there are many choices. But after Beyonce has turned them down, some men whine that they just cant find a physically attractive sista.
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
quote:
Originally posted by Huey:

What is your definition of "average?" Is Kelly Rowland "average" compared to Beyonce?


Yes exactly.......

Most men will date Beyonce in a heart beat. Just look at the amount of pics that men put up on this board........and the comments.

Where are the pics of Kelly? Or Michelle?

The key is that a LOT of men pick the same woman.....in an enviroment, where there are many choices. But after Beyonce has turned them down, some men whine that they just cant find a physically attractive sista.




Does this mean I get to go out with Kelly? Big Grin
quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
quote:
Originally posted by Huey:

What is your definition of "average?" Is Kelly Rowland "average" compared to Beyonce?


Yes exactly.......

Most men will date Beyonce in a heart beat. Just look at the amount of pics that men put up on this board........and the comments.

Where are the pics of Kelly? Or Michelle?

The key is that a LOT of men pick the same woman.....in an enviroment, where there are many choices. But after Beyonce has turned them down, some men whine that they just cant find a physically attractive sista.




Does this mean I get to go out with Kelly? Big Grin


Only if I get to go out with Michelle. Big Grin
quote:
Originally posted by Huey:
quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
quote:
Originally posted by Huey:

What is your definition of "average?" Is Kelly Rowland "average" compared to Beyonce?



Yes exactly.......

Most men will date Beyonce in a heart beat. Just look at the amount of pics that men put up on this board........and the comments.

Where are the pics of Kelly? Or Michelle?

The key is that a LOT of men pick the same woman.....in an enviroment, where there are many choices. But after Beyonce has turned them down, some men whine that they just cant find a physically attractive sista.




Does this mean I get to go out with Kelly? Big Grin


Only if I get to go out with Michelle. Big Grin




That would be a deal! Big Grin ... cabbage

yum ... yum ... yummy ...
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
quote:
Originally posted by Huey:

What is your definition of "average?" Is Kelly Rowland "average" compared to Beyonce?


Yes exactly.......

Most men will date Beyonce in a heart beat. Just look at the amount of pics that men put up on this board........and the comments.

Where are the pics of Kelly? Or Michelle?

The key is that a LOT of men pick the same woman.....in an enviroment, where there are many choices. But after Beyonce has turned them down, some men whine that they just cant find a physically attractive sista.


If this was Hollywood, yes I could see your point. But since this isn't Hollywood, let me just say that there is a lonnnnng line of brothers that would love to get with Kelly and/or Michelle, HB and myself included.

Beyonce' is a flashy hottie (i.e. in your face sexy), whereas Kelly is a "stealth" hottie, i.e. it's much more subtle sexy...if there is such a thing.
quote:
Originally posted by Huey:

If this was Hollywood, yes I could see your point. But since this isn't Hollywood, let me just say that there is a lonnnnng line of brothers that would love to get with Kelly and/or Michelle, HB and myself included.

Beyonce' is a flashy hottie (i.e. in your face sexy), whereas Kelly is a "stealth" hottie, i.e. it's much more subtle sexy...if there is such a thing.



Well i see women like Michelle/Kelly every day.......and they are childless, single, etc.

The reality is, most men will be attracted to that "flashy hottie", for the moment.........while allowing the "stealth" hottie to get away.

Frown
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
quote:
Originally posted by Huey:

If this was Hollywood, yes I could see your point. But since this isn't Hollywood, let me just say that there is a lonnnnng line of brothers that would love to get with Kelly and/or Michelle, HB and myself included.

Beyonce' is a flashy hottie (i.e. in your face sexy), whereas Kelly is a "stealth" hottie, i.e. it's much more subtle sexy...if there is such a thing.



Well i see women like Michelle/Kelly every day.......and they are childless, single, etc.

The reality is, most men will be attracted to that "flashy hottie", for the moment.........while allowing the "stealth" hottie to get away.

Frown




Qty, I can't speak for the countless butte-heads who have their eyes glued on Beyonce ... but you can absolutely rest assured that a stealth hottie never went unnoticed on my watch ... nono
Last edited {1}
KELLY AND BEYONCE ARE VERY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN. MOST MEN TODAY ARE ATTRACTED TO THE BEAUTY ON THE OUTER LAYER, AND JUMP INTO RELATIONSHIPS WITHOUT GETTING TO KNOW THE INNER PERSON. NO ONE WANTS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN THAT HAS A TERRIBLE PERSONALITY, AND DOWNRIGHT UGLY PERSON, AND I THINK OUR SISTAS DOESNT WANT A FINE MAN THAT IS STUCK ON HIMSELF, AND UNINTELLIGENT.

GIVE ME THE BRAIN, ROMANTIC, AND THE MAN THAT WANTS TO KNOW ME ANY DAY.
quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
quote:
Originally posted by Huey:

If this was Hollywood, yes I could see your point. But since this isn't Hollywood, let me just say that there is a lonnnnng line of brothers that would love to get with Kelly and/or Michelle, HB and myself included.

Beyonce' is a flashy hottie (i.e. in your face sexy), whereas Kelly is a "stealth" hottie, i.e. it's much more subtle sexy...if there is such a thing.



Well i see women like Michelle/Kelly every day.......and they are childless, single, etc.

The reality is, most men will be attracted to that "flashy hottie", for the moment.........while allowing the "stealth" hottie to get away.

Frown




Qty, I can't speak for the countless butte-heads who have their eyes glued on Beyonce ... but you can absolutely rest assured that a stealth hottie never went unnoticed on my watch ... nono
Second that.

Add Reply

Post
×
×
×
×
Link copied to your clipboard.
×