quote:
Originally posted by RadioRaheem:
quote:
Originally posted by Aspiring:
quote:
Originally posted by RadioRaheem:
quote:
Originally posted by Aspiring:
Based on my own personal experience I felt the need to respond; I have only browsed over some of the responses here so please forgive if I repeat anything that has already been said. Also let me say that I am only speaking for myself. So why all through high school and up until my junior year in college did I date "knuckleheads"?
#1 reason I attracted, dated, and tried to make my relationships work with "knuckleheads" is because I honestly thought I could change him into the man I wanted him to be.
Of course there were some other underlying issues that I will not go into right now; but I just needed to put that ou there. I have grown over the years and realized that self love trumps the love of a man any day. I no longer find myself attracted to certain type of men and they don't even bother approaching me.

On another note I will have to say that I agree with some of the comments made by other ladies on this site that a lot of men will go after the pretty flashy woman before talking to the subtle beautiful one. At the moment I am happily single by choice but I find even when my friends and I go out for a girls night out that most guys flock to the same woman; now I am not the prettiest girl on the block; but I am a beautiful woman and I do wonder when I do decide to date again how will I get the attention of the nice guy and not the "knuckleheads"


do you think your choices then (in your younger days) are related to you not current status of not being married?? Would you consider yourself 'marriage minded' now??

I would say yes. As I noted I am single now by choice. I choose to be single because it has taken me a little while to truly understand what it means to love myself and now that I do love myself; I enjoy spending time with me and learning the things that I like to do so to answer the other question no I am not "marriage minded" right now...but when I finish this self exploration then I'm sure my mind will go in the right direction.

Thanks for your insight

a few more questions:

how old are you?

what does single by choice mean?

Are you saying that if you found someone [today] with strong potential [good, desireable, longterm qualities] you would still be single [or holdout] until you are ready for a relationship??

thanks again


I am 27 and yes that is exactly what I am saying. I choose not to be in a relationship regardless of who I meet right now; until I can honestly say that the Yolonda going into the relationship is Yolonda without excess baggage, and hurt and resentment from past relationships then I choose to only be in a relationship with myself. I honestly believe that if I went into a relationship right now I would only be setting myself up for failure and I don't see the point of doing that.
quote:
Originally posted by Aspiring:
quote:
Originally posted by RadioRaheem:
quote:
Originally posted by Aspiring:
quote:
Originally posted by RadioRaheem:
quote:
Originally posted by Aspiring:
Based on my own personal experience I felt the need to respond; I have only browsed over some of the responses here so please forgive if I repeat anything that has already been said. Also let me say that I am only speaking for myself. So why all through high school and up until my junior year in college did I date "knuckleheads"?
#1 reason I attracted, dated, and tried to make my relationships work with "knuckleheads" is because I honestly thought I could change him into the man I wanted him to be.
Of course there were some other underlying issues that I will not go into right now; but I just needed to put that ou there. I have grown over the years and realized that self love trumps the love of a man any day. I no longer find myself attracted to certain type of men and they don't even bother approaching me.

On another note I will have to say that I agree with some of the comments made by other ladies on this site that a lot of men will go after the pretty flashy woman before talking to the subtle beautiful one. At the moment I am happily single by choice but I find even when my friends and I go out for a girls night out that most guys flock to the same woman; now I am not the prettiest girl on the block; but I am a beautiful woman and I do wonder when I do decide to date again how will I get the attention of the nice guy and not the "knuckleheads"


do you think your choices then (in your younger days) are related to you not current status of not being married?? Would you consider yourself 'marriage minded' now??

I would say yes. As I noted I am single now by choice. I choose to be single because it has taken me a little while to truly understand what it means to love myself and now that I do love myself; I enjoy spending time with me and learning the things that I like to do so to answer the other question no I am not "marriage minded" right now...but when I finish this self exploration then I'm sure my mind will go in the right direction.

Thanks for your insight

a few more questions:

how old are you?

what does single by choice mean?

Are you saying that if you found someone [today] with strong potential [good, desireable, longterm qualities] you would still be single [or holdout] until you are ready for a relationship??

thanks again


I am 27 and yes that is exactly what I am saying. I choose not to be in a relationship regardless of who I meet right now; until I can honestly say that the Yolonda going into the relationship is Yolonda without excess baggage, and hurt and resentment from past relationships then I choose to only be in a relationship with myself. I honestly believe that if I went into a relationship right now I would only be setting myself up for failure and I don't see the point of doing that.


sounds like a good plan. Thanks for the answers appl

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