Skip to main content

Well, my question is too anyone who have had my expierience. Where as far as flirtation and being hit on and people staring and smiling at you have not been primarily been from your own race. Not to say that women from my own race dont find me attractive, but compared to others(primarily white)its minute (I dont mean time). Just wondering if anybody else had this expierience. People say whatever you project is what u get back. Im not overly thuggish I dont rock flashy jewelery or always wear name brand clothes, and I try to talk like I have some sense in my head.Also black women tell me Im nice.This is something that really doesn't(I believe no race holds the patent on pretty or ugly for that matter) bother me just, wondering have this happen to anybody else?
Original Post

Replies sorted oldest to newest

quote:
Originally posted by RadioRaheem:
I've had similar experiences. I think that so many other races of women are just more open to flirt/approach what they want. If they are brother friendly, then they pursue that. Not to say that Black women don't do the same, but I usually only see them make a move when the brother is lightskinnted and/or with good hurr.
This is not true in my experience..... In fact the women in my circle (it's a pretty large one) prefer men that look like Djimon Honsou..... or Mos Def.... or Kem..... No disrespect of the light skinned brother.... but... In all honesty.... those preferences at least for us.... are very low on priority next to things like character, stability, intelligence, ambition, wisdom, health, ancestral pride, masculinity, humor and wit


Peace,
Virtue
quote:
Originally posted by RadioRaheem:
If they are brother friendly

nicely said RR. Big Grin

Virtue... I can't imagine anyone not liking Djimon Honsou laugh but of course we want the contents (quality) as well as the packaging (icing).
Let's not forget a few other relationship desirables... compatability, similar values and common interests. Big Grin

who's attracted to me? guys who are fit, like to talk a lot, lol, like small women and are usually younger than me.
.
quote:
Originally posted by virtue:
quote:
Originally posted by RadioRaheem:
I've had similar experiences. I think that so many other races of women are just more open to flirt/approach what they want. If they are brother friendly, then they pursue that. Not to say that Black women don't do the same, but I usually only see them make a move when the brother is lightskinnted and/or with good hurr.
This is not true in my experience..... In fact the women in my circle (it's a pretty large one) prefer men that look like Djimon Honsou..... or Mos Def.... or Kem..... No disrespect of the light skinned brother.... but... In all honesty.... those preferences at least for us.... are very low on priority next to things like character, stability, intelligence, ambition, wisdom, health, ancestral pride, masculinity, humor and wit


Peace,
Virtue


understood, but i am talking about women so attracted to a brother that they approach him. That's the measure here and the topic at hand. lightskinntedness and good hurr seems to be the most attractive qualities black women [ in my experience] pursue. It seems like black women like to be approached, but those qualities make that sister drop her 'playing hard to get' gameplan instantly. Women in your friendship circle maybe be 'attracted' to Djimon Honsou or Mos, but are they running those brothers down so they can get that mack on and get his phone number?? I think not. Other races of women [in my experience] have no problem macking on or approaching darker brothers, in fact, I'd bet many to most of the time that's how that couple got started. In my days at Georgetown U, I was thinking I needed to get a tan just to get into the game.
quote:
Originally posted by RadioRaheem:
understood, but i am talking about women so attracted to a brother that they approach him. That's the measure here and the topic at hand. lightskinntedness and good hurr seems to be the most attractive qualities black women [ in my experience] pursue. It seems like black women like to be approached, but those qualities make that sister drop her 'playing hard to get' gameplan instantly. Women in your friendship circle maybe be 'attracted' to Djimon Honsou or Mos, but are they running those brothers down so they can get that mack on and get his phone number?? I think not. Other races of women [in my experience] have no problem macking on or approaching darker brothers, in fact, I'd bet many to most of the time that's how that couple got started. In my days at Georgetown U, I was thinking I needed to get a tan just to get into the game.
Georgetown? What did you study there? I have a few friends that graduated from Law school there....

In my circle we don't approach any man.... no matter the characteristics.... If a man is interested..... he usually will let you know somehow.... or if something is meant to be it will just be..... I think it's best to be yourself and enjoy the moment of those whose sphere you have been allowed to enter.... or those who you have allowed to enter your own sphere........ I've never had to pursue a man.... I don't say this haughtily..... I say it with the spirit that I particularly like the masculine energy of a man and it complements my own..... this type of energy is usually more aggressive than my own...... and so naturally I get approached first..... I'm way more open and talkative online than in person...... the internet is a nice outlet to assert myself without apprehension.... but usually the type of man that is attracted to me is an intellectual and places morality as a priority in his life...... he's the type of man that usually will study me for a moment before he comes closer.... in other words he investigates.... and this type of man comes in all shapes and sizes....


Peace,
Virtue
Last edited {1}
quote:
Originally posted by virtue:
quote:
Originally posted by RadioRaheem:
understood, but i am talking about women so attracted to a brother that they approach him. That's the measure here and the topic at hand. lightskinntedness and good hurr seems to be the most attractive qualities black women [ in my experience] pursue. It seems like black women like to be approached, but those qualities make that sister drop her 'playing hard to get' gameplan instantly. Women in your friendship circle maybe be 'attracted' to Djimon Honsou or Mos, but are they running those brothers down so they can get that mack on and get his phone number?? I think not. Other races of women [in my experience] have no problem macking on or approaching darker brothers, in fact, I'd bet many to most of the time that's how that couple got started. In my days at Georgetown U, I was thinking I needed to get a tan just to get into the game.
Georgetown? What did you study there? I have a few friends that graduated from Law school there....

In my circle we don't approach any man.... no matter the characteristics.... If a man is interested..... he usually will let you know somehow.... or if something is meant to be it will just be..... I think it's best to be yourself and enjoy the moment of those whose sphere you have been allowed to enter.... or those who you have allowed to enter your own sphere........ I've never had to pursue a man.... I don't say this haughtily..... I say it with the spirit that I particularly like the masculine energy of a man and it complements my own..... this type of energy is usually more aggressive than my own...... and so naturally I get approached first..... I'm way more open and talkative online than in person...... the internet is a nice outlet to assert myself without apprehension.... but usually the type of man that is attracted to me is an intellectual and places morality as a priority in his life...... he's the type of man that usually will study me for a moment before he comes closer.... in other words he investigates.... and this type of man comes in all shapes and sizes....


Peace,
Virtue


c/o 1997
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
I have way more women of other races flirt with/approach me than black women. Always have. I've never been able to explain it. Confused


Me too. But then I don't get approached by a lot of women. I have also had more black women turn me down for dates than white women. Maybe there is something wrong with me, I don't know.
quote:
Originally posted by Black Viking:
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
I have way more women of other races flirt with/approach me than black women. Always have. I've never been able to explain it. Confused


This is my experience as well. I'm starting to put a theory together, but I'm not sure enough about it to throw it out in the open... yet.


What's your theory?
I have this experience too. The majority of men that talk to me are from different races & nationalities. I've have a lot of Hispanic, Arab/Middle Eastern, Asian and Caucasian men talk to me...the only time Black men really try and approach me is when I am in a predominately Black neighborhood or when I am at work but of course I gotta turn them down because 1. I'm not about to risk losing my job for flirting with a customer (which is considered inappropriate) and 2. Three-fourths of the people who shop @ the store are entitlement bitches and they almost always put me in a bad mood.

As for me, I never approach men -- it's just not me. Any boyfriend or relationship I had was because the guy approached me. Usually when I go outside, I got my head phones on and my thoughts are in another reality Smile. Right now, school's about to start on 3/1, my manager is about to make me full time @ my job, I gotta save up $500 for new books/school supplies and $8400 needs to be saved for a surgery...so approaching men is the last thing on my mind. I also have a problem controlling my feelings with men I like and I don't need that in the middle of me and my priorities.
quote:
Originally posted by Black Viking:
quote:
Originally posted by ronin10:
What's your theory?

I haven't reasoned it all out yet. I have to make sure that I'm ready to recieve all the flack that I'm sure to get from the women before I throw it out for debate. When I'm ready, I'll start a new thread on it. Not now though (I'm still licking my wounds from the last one Smile).


Be prepared...be very prepared...put on your vest and go for it...but just remember that when you try to explain your topic, you are going to be wrong.
quote:
Originally posted by ronin10:
quote:
Originally posted by Black Viking:
quote:
Originally posted by ronin10:
What's your theory?

I haven't reasoned it all out yet. I have to make sure that I'm ready to recieve all the flack that I'm sure to get from the women before I throw it out for debate. When I'm ready, I'll start a new thread on it. Not now though (I'm still licking my wounds from the last one Smile).


Be prepared...be very prepared...put on your vest and go for it...but just remember that when you try to explain your topic, you are going to be wrong.


Master, you are so wise
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
Interesting....
So question.........what are these 'black' women after?


Usually stability. Whether financial or as a means to get away from a life they cared little for. A misconception in most cities near a military base were military men were loaded. So some of the women used whatever means necessary to snag a dependent ID card. Unfortunality many of them never learned a lesson and ended up bringing up more kids into poverty.


catch
quote:
Originally posted by ocatchings:
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
Interesting....
So question.........what are these 'black' women after?


Usually stability. Whether financial or as a means to get away from a life they cared little for. A misconception in most cities near a military base were military men were loaded. So some of the women used whatever means necessary to snag a dependent ID card. Unfortunality many of them never learned a lesson and ended up bringing up more kids into poverty.


catch


But that could be any woman... not just a black woman.
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
Lest I forget, I also get hit on by alot of down on thier luck golddiggers (being I'm in the military), preppie wannabe's (being I'm an active investor), and the socialite undesirables (being I'm involved in obtaining higher education degrees).

Yeah, I tend to stay in the house alot now... Roll Eyes


I wonder what are the chances of us knowing the same females???????? laugh


catch
BEING A MARRIED WOMAN OF 37 YEARS OLD, I STILL HAVE YOUNGER MEN FROM 22 YEARS OF AGE, AND UP TRY TO FLIRT WITH ME, AND IT HAPPENS EVERYTIME, I BLUSH. I TEND TO SHOW MY EMOTIONS EASILY, AND I DONOT KNOW WHY NUT THE YOUNGER CROWD SEEM TO INTERACT WITH ME MORE THAN THE OLDER GUYS. IT'S STILL AMAZES ME THAT THE YOUNGER GUYS FIND ME SO ATTRACTIVE AFTER ALL MY YEARS. Red Face
quote:
Originally posted by ocatchings:
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
Lest I forget, I also get hit on by alot of down on thier luck golddiggers (being I'm in the military), preppie wannabe's (being I'm an active investor), and the socialite undesirables (being I'm involved in obtaining higher education degrees).

Yeah, I tend to stay in the house alot now... Roll Eyes


I wonder what are the chances of us knowing the same females???????? laugh


catch


lol

In this day and age....pretty high I would say! Big Grin
Hey, Catch! I have missed ya! Good to see you posting again!

To answer the question at hand, people of all ages and races flirt with me. My mature beloved Brothers are usually low key (a smile and sweet greetings), while the younger Brothers are more out there. "Look at the junk in that trunk! Baby can I hit that?" I guess this line must work frequently, or I wouldn't hear it or a variation of it as often as I do.

Hispanic men are really out there with it! When stopped at a traffic light, they will yell out of their car windows and make smooching noises while screaming "Hey, Mami! You sure are looking good! Can I have your number?"

I can't say that any of this means that they are attracted to me personally. They could merely be horny.
African guys hit on me alot. African men automatically assume that I was born in Africa. They immediately ask where I am from in Africa. White men hit on me all the time also. Someone recently told me that I must have been a white woman in my past life,because I get hit on so much by white men. My older brothas hit on me also. I like the fact that I don't get the rude brothas hitting on me, like I use to in the past. Now it is "How you doing sista" or "Hello beautiful Queen". One brotha said to me a couple of weeks ago "Queen you are the truth", and yes I found that very flattering!Wink
Black men hardly ever hit on me. I am usually hit on by white or hispanics alot. Especially being from Miami. SInce I moved to DC metro a few black guys have hit on me, but not many... I'm not sure the reason.

Most of the time when I see a black man that interests me I will smile or give him the "okay" and he will speak, but I really dont like to speak first so it happens rarely... So I can either just take what is attracted to me or go for what I want. I'm too shu for the latter for now... Frown
You know, Twin, you have made an extremely profound point. Perhaps we notice the people who hit on us if they in some way are attractive to us. Sometimes I get tunnel vision and am totally oblivious to certain people and my Sisters have pointed out to me that an individual was attempting to get my attention. Guess I am extremely picky, but with my track record I have a dayum good right to be!

I don't "play in the snow", so I don't notice or acknowledge white men as being "contenders" so perhaps I did not include them in the types of people who find me attractive. Don't get me wrong ... there are some attractive white men out there that make for wonderful eye candy, but nothing trips my trigger like a Brother. "Pop pop pop goes the pistol bang bang bang goes the gun!" I think Prince wrote that line for me and the way I feel about Brothers! Cool
My experience is interesting because I've come to see that most women "find me attractive, " but not as many of them " are attracted to me. " They treat my "attractiveness" s though it were a fact, but for some reason it doesn't usually translate into them wanting me.

I once went out with a girl from Florida who was in town briefly for training for her job. She did something that confused me, and I asked some female coworkers about it. They were confused by it too, and so they asked another girl, in front of me, "If YOU'RE out with a cute guy, and you (did what this girl did to me), why would you do that?"

By the time this happened, I had known these women for around 2 or 3 years. They referred to me as "cute" like it was a given, an objective fact, yet none of them really were feeling me like that. And I knew them probably for another 4 or five more years beyond that point -- nothin'. Unless I'm just missing something.

But typically, the women who show the clearest signs that they're attracted to me usually are black. And I wouldn't have a big problem with IR dating, so if I'm "missing signs" from other races, it's not because of that.

Add Reply

Post
×
×
×
×
Link copied to your clipboard.
×