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Ok. We have glossed over this in other thread but I thought I would see what would happen if address the question head on.

I want to see if what WE think strong means and what the opposite sex means differs.

Men:
Define what a strong black woman is and then define what you think THEY think it means

Women:
Define what a stron black man is and then what you think THEY think it means
_______________________ "Morality cannot be legislated but behaviour can be regulated. Judicial decrees may not change the heart but they can restrain the heartless." Martin Luther King.
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ok, I've always got my list handy... so I'll jump in first. lol


My idea idea of strength... or a strong man is one who possess these qualities:
- confidence
- flexibility
- intimacy

...a combination of these 3 traits in a man is highest on my list of respect and desirability.

confidence = confidence in himself as a person. Mentally and spiritually. Not to aspire to being someone he's not, or be someone else.
It doesn't mean arrogance or have to mean total confidence in his abilities to be the best whether it's in work, sport or whatever. It is confidence to try to be the best HIM, noone else.

can be seen by (some) men as being self-confident = arrogance and always first or always right or always the one with an answer.

flexibility = to me shows a combination of strength, open-mindedness and open-heart. IMO, it takes great strength to be open-minded and have an open heart ... especially for men.
In this context, my concept of flexibility means being not only able, but willing, to listen (and hear) a variety of others' Points Of View, offer his own, not necessarily shift his position, but try to be truly empathic, and be ABLE to rethink or reconsider his own point of view. If not able, at least attempt it.

can be seen by men as being manipulated or not steadfast, weak, too easily influenced. Roll Eyes

intimacy = strength is being 100% open with (the right) a significant female partner. [Not talking one-week dating cycles or one-night-stands here.] To be able to trust, to give, and to receive.
Able to be 100% yourself - not witholding or disguising the real you. If you are being the real you, the pay off is you will be loved, respected and appreciated for who you really are - pretty much the best pay-off there is.

can be seen by men as a belief that sharing himself is opening himself up for manipulation, or not being able to see/comprehend intimacy as beyond a sexual level.
.
quote:
Originally posted by MidLifeMan:
Women:
Define what a stron black man is and then what you think THEY think it means


Look in the mirror, my Brother, and you will see exactly what a strong Black man looks like. You walk in your own integrity, you adore your family, and you never fail to lend support when you can. You get up each time you fall and continue to run the race. It doesn't get much better than that, IMHO. hug
quote:
Originally posted by Sandye:
quote:
Originally posted by MidLifeMan:
Women:
Define what a stron black man is and then what you think THEY think it means


Look in the mirror, my Brother, and you will see exactly what a strong Black man looks like. You walk in your own integrity, you adore your family, and you never fail to lend support when you can. You get up each time you fall and continue to run the race. It doesn't get much better than that, IMHO. hug



kiss You are deep, Sandye. Somebody better snatch you up immediately before I get a ring. Wink
quote:
Originally posted by Sandye:
quote:
Originally posted by MidLifeMan:
Women:
Define what a stron black man is and then what you think THEY think it means


Look in the mirror, my Brother, and you will see exactly what a strong Black man looks like. You walk in your own integrity, you adore your family, and you never fail to lend support when you can. You get up each time you fall and continue to run the race. It doesn't get much better than that, IMHO. hug


Thank you Sandye. Made me blush Wink kiss
Peace....

I believe that a strong black woman is a woman who embraces the full breath of the Black experience. She is not limited to viewing herself as the child of slavery, or a victim. She is a woman who has taken the time to learn the truth of her people which extends into the far reaches of antiquity.

A strong black woman is a dreamer, however, she is also a wide awake thinker, planner, and inspirational force. She is a ripe field which gives rise to the future giants who will liberate the oppressed.

She is a feminine warrior in the cause of black liberation...Sweet, and deadly...deceptively agile as she manuevers through the snares of this world's life..An enchantress of our enemy..So graceful are her movements that men are lost in her wonder, oblivious to the daggers hidden under her flowing garments.

She loves her black man..even is his misery...Even as he is prostrated at the foot of her oppressor...She loves him so much that she will rob the oppressor who has claimed her as his own..She will bring her torn man healing..She is aware that she must help nurse her wounded brother to health...She loves him enough to do this without protest.

She will not seek to rob the black man of his destiny...Instead she will be patient and steadfast as she works to inspire him to take up the cause of liberation.

Her femininity is sacred, she will hold it despite circumstance.

a lot to ask...I know...But you asked..



Kai
quote:
Originally posted by Kai:
Peace....

I believe that a strong black woman is a woman who embraces the full breath of the Black experience. She is not limited to viewing herself as the child of slavery, or a victim. She is a woman who has taken the time to learn the truth of her people which extends into the far reaches of antiquity.

A strong black woman is a dreamer, however, she is also a wide awake thinker, planner, and inspirational force. She is a ripe field which gives rise to the future giants who will liberate the oppressed.

She is a feminine warrior in the cause of black liberation...Sweet, and deadly...deceptively agile as she manuevers through the snares of this world's life..An enchantress of our enemy..So graceful are her movements that men are lost in her wonder, oblivious to the daggers hidden under her flowing garments.

She loves her black man..even is his misery...Even as he is prostrated at the foot of her oppressor...She loves him so much that she will rob the oppressor who has claimed her as his own..She will bring her torn man healing..She is aware that she must help nurse her wounded brother to health...She loves him enough to do this without protest.

She will not seek to rob the black man of his destiny...Instead she will be patient and steadfast as she works to inspire him to take up the cause of liberation.

Her femininity is sacred, she will hold it despite circumstance.

a lot to ask...I know...But you asked..



Kai


This was absolutely beautiful Kai......

and inspirational....

You must've put a lot of thought into it.....

I think its beautiful....

kiss



Peace,
Virtue
Men tend to think and perhaps are taught by society that a strong man NEVER cries or shows emotions. According to this perception, When a "real" man has issues, he just sucks it up, confronts them, and does what he has to do to get past them.... a real and/or strong man never dwells on them.

Now the way I define a Strong Black man goes as follows....... A strong brotha knows his weaknesses and strives daily to improve upon them. He is confident but NOT cocky or arrogant. He's not afraid to display his emotions because he UNDERSTANDS the fact that he's a complex human being with a multitude of feelings--- NOT some inanimate OBJECT who is void feeling anything at all. A Strong Brotha is NOT intimidated by a STRONG SISTA.... in fact, he embraces and uplifts her because he knows that behind EVERY GOOD MAN, there's ALWAYS an EQUALLY GOOD WOMAN. A Strong Brotha Always Handles his responsibilities and allows GOD to light his path. A strong brotha would NEVER hit a woman or demean a woman by referring to her as a female dog or garden tool. A Strong Brotha has goals and puts forth effort toward meeting them..... And last but not least.... A strong brotha epitomizes the motto "To Thine Ownself Be True" and at the end of the day, he can come home and rest comfortably knowing that he adhered to this adage.

Does that answer the question??? Smile

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