What Are Women Really Attracted To?
By Matthew Fitzgerald
Relationship Education Correspondent
The male sex drive is uncomplicated and honest. Men are visual. The hot-blooded sexual response to the sight of a good-looking young woman has been hard-wired into the male brain thanks to millions of years of evolution -- the average guy can no more stop ogling, lusting and urging to merge than he can stop eating or sleeping. But what about women? Just what do they find attractive about men? Read any typical survey and you'll be informed that what really turns them on is a sense of humor, confidence, consideration of others, etc. In other words, according to women, all you have to do is to be a nice guy and they'll come running.
Reality check time
Never listen to what a woman says -- always pay attention to what she actually does instead. The two are quite frequently worlds apart, because women are masters at self-deceit and equally adept at lying to themselves about their own behavior.
Cross-cultural evidence from different societies consistently reveals that what women really want from men are economic resources. Studies with college coeds show that when shown photographs of men dressed in high-status uniforms (suits, ties, expensive watches, etc.) and low-status uniforms, these women would be significantly more willing to enter into relationships with the more expensively-attired males regardless of the man's physical appearance .
To a woman, attraction is simple: green is very good-looking. And these same studies found that college men were convinced that magnifying their status (implying greater earning power) would lead to increased sexual activity.
Thus men were forced to rely on such attraction tactics as driving expensive cars, bragging about accomplishments, and emphasizing present or future earning power, while women, on the other hand, packaged themselves as commodities with make-up, jewelry, hairstyles, and shape-revealing clothing.
Evolution says women want more sex, not moneytalkin' about an evolution
Evolutionary psychologists like Dr. David Buss believe that present-day mate selection behaviors were founded in the Stone Age. Buss' recent survey of over 10,000 people in 37 countries, on six continents, reports that men consistently prize physical attraction and youth in their potential mates, while women value ambition, status, and financial resources.
In evolutionary terms, men seek out sexually desirable females whose youthful features indicate good health and the ability to bear children, while women look for mates with abundant enough resources to provide for their children.
So does this mean that women are genetically programmed to seek out only high-status men with lots of money and resources, and to disdain more average guys with lesser earning power -- that what women really go for is that big bulge in a man's pants (his wallet)?
Women want sex too
Enter Dr. Tim Birkhead of the University of Sheffield (England), author of the ground-breaking Promiscuity: An Evolutionary History of Sperm Competition . With research spanning the broad spectrum of the animal kingdom, Birkhead discovered that female promiscuity -- that is, females having sex with multiple partners, sometimes regardless of their resources or status -- is the norm rather than the exception.
In fact, females of most species, from damselflies to penguins, routinely copulate with several different mates. And this is especially true among the higher mammals, such as chimpanzees and bonobos, with whom humans share approximately 99% of DNA.
According to Jane Goodall ( The Chimpanzees of Gombe ), a female chimp may mate with different males of her group as many as 50 times a day, and will actively seek out low-status chimps from other bands for even more sexual encounters.
And bonobos, who act and appear even more similar to humans than chimps, are the real swingers of the animal kingdom -- they participate in virtual gang-bangs and sex (even lesbian sex) solely for the sake of pleasure.
So why the money angle?
Of course, for women the implications are staggering. According to Birkhead, human females are genetically programmed to be promiscuous. And if Birkhead is right -- that we share common evolutionary behavior with chimps and bonobos -- this means that women should be attracted to and willing to have sex with men regardless of status. Women should not be using dating and marriage as a business.
Yet in human society, women are still selling it and men are still forced to pay for it.
Because women think with their vaginas -- that is, they use their awesome sexual power to control, manipulate, and get what they want from men. And men let them get away with it.
But in this day and age of equal rights, when women are earning excellent incomes and claim that they have no need for men to support them any more (but still hypocritically expect men to pay for them), maybe it's time for women to finally be honest.
Maybe it's time for women to jettison the manipulative greed, which so characterizes their gender, and seek out men of any status, as apparently nature has intended. Maybe it's time for women to start having sex for the sake of enjoyment instead of cold-bloodedly using it as a tool to feather their own nests.
The choice is yours
Men, you have two choices: either continue on as financial slaves and sacrifice your manhood on the altar of female greed; or stand up for yourselves right now -- refuse to be sex-ploited any longer. Then maybe, just maybe, women can be as nature intended: sexually honest, like men.
Matthew Fitzgerald is the author of Sex Ploytation. He has appeared on radio shows from coast-to-coast in the United States and in Canada, and has been featured on the Montel show and The Other Half.
Men (and women too), tell me what you think about the content of this article. Is it true or what?