What does that mean?
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quote:Originally posted by Vox:
As for what I would want in a woman, I will incorporate this prior description,, which hasn't changed since I first posted it.
quote:
For me, it's not so much a matter of what I want differently from a black man, as it is what I get differently from a black man.
quote:Originally posted by HonestBrother:
What does that mean?
quote:Originally posted by Afro Saxon:
One who doesn't subscribe to feminism,
quote:Originally posted by Wiz:quote:Originally posted by HonestBrother:
What does that mean?
I favor brown skinned women, in the physical sense. But the qualities are all relative.
For instance, the more physically attractive I find a woman the less intellectual she has to be (but I am good with pretty and intellectual). I am willing lower my desire for physically attractive in direct proportion to a corresponding increase of sweetness. But too much sweetness can get on your nerves, so she needs to be able to be passionate enough as well. I would like a woman who is quick to smile, kinda silly, but able to encourage me to step up when it is the right thing to do, even it if it is not what I want to do. A woman who tries not to offend me, loves me enough to protect me, even from myself and in a way that makes me smile when I see her.
It is all kinda gooey.
In other words, it is a matter of 'clicking'. Once in a great while I come across women like that.
quote:Originally posted by Afro Saxon:
My prefernce is an old fashion women to an extent. Proud of African American/West Indian/Black African traditions in food and culture. One who is from a Black neighborhood. One who doesn't subscribe to feminism, relativism, multiculturalism or any other white liberal movements. I think a good women is well read. Ambitious and community orientated. I do not attend church nor am I religious but I find religious women.....tend to have these traits most frequent
quote:Originally posted by Afro Saxon:
My prefernce is an old fashion women to an extent. Proud of African American/West Indian/Black African traditions in food and culture. One who is from a Black neighborhood. One who doesn't subscribe to feminism, relativism, multiculturalism or any other white liberal movements.
quote:Originally posted by ShayaButHer:
My son made a comment this evening with regard to an "Indian" term...and I had to school him on how he used the term and how his "maw maw" would be on his behind if she ever heard him being so disrespectful to that part of our heritage.
quote:Originally posted by Rowe:quote:Originally posted by Afro Saxon:
My prefernce is an old fashion women to an extent. Proud of African American/West Indian/Black African traditions in food and culture. One who is from a Black neighborhood. One who doesn't subscribe to feminism, relativism, multiculturalism or any other white liberal movements.
Ok, you do realize that you named a preference for multiple cultures in your response, don't you? African, West Indian, and African American are three different cultural groups, and even within these cultural groups, there are multiple cultural and ethnic differences. So, why wouldn't you appreciate a woman who embraces multiculturalism, specifically cultures that are different from her own?
quote:Originally posted by HonestBrother:
Why go out of your way to specifically pursue any type of black man/woman if he/she is all up in everybody else's culture anyway?
The question is intended half seriously by the way (tongue in cheek really) ... On the one hand I see your point as I value cultural diversity myself. But on the other, it's not a bad question actually (when thought about a certain way) ... might be another thread topic ...
quote:Originally posted by Rowe:quote:Originally posted by HonestBrother:
Why go out of your way to specifically pursue any type of black man/woman if he/she is all up in everybody else's culture anyway?
The question is intended half seriously by the way (tongue in cheek really) ... On the one hand I see your point as I value cultural diversity myself. But on the other, it's not a bad question actually (when thought about a certain way) ... might be another thread topic ...
The point is, it's truly ignorant on Afro Saxon's part to express a disdain for women who embrace multiculturalism just after telling us that he prefers women who belong to three of the most culturally-diverse groups on the planet. That makes no sense. I mean, come on, West Indian, African, AFRICAN AMERICAN, of all people, you can't get any more culturally diverse than that. These people's lineages have been dispersed all over the place and throughout the Diaspora.
quote:
It absolutely amazes me that in this day and time, with all the information that is readily available about culture and cultural diversity, that people are still thinking with such a parochial mindset.
quote:Originally posted by HonestBrother:
Which mindset?
quote:Originally posted by Rowe:quote:Originally posted by HonestBrother:
Which mindset?
I suppose we'll know after Afro Saxon, if he decides to return to the site, tells us exactly what he means by multiculturalism.
quote:Originally posted by Rowe:
I'm referring to a mindset that isn't informed about or appreciative of diverse cultures. Saxon mentioned that prefers a woman who doesn't subscribe to multiculturalism, yet the women that he prefers all belong to culturally- and linguistically-diverse groups. I thought I was clear.
quote:Originally posted by HonestBrother:
I'm appreciative and informed about diverse cultures. That doesn't mean I want to date any woman from any one of them.
quote:Originally posted by Rowe:quote:Originally posted by HonestBrother:
I'm appreciative and informed about diverse cultures. That doesn't mean I want to date any woman from any one of them.
Oh, ok. This must mean that your "appreciation" for people from culturally- and linguistically-diverse groups has limitations. Well some people might not consider that a real appreciation.![]()
quote:Originally posted by Rowe:
Ok, you do realize that you named a preference for multiple cultures in your response, don't you? African, West Indian, and African American are three different cultural groups, and even within these cultural groups, there are multiple cultural and ethnic differences. So, why wouldn't you appreciate a woman who embraces multiculturalism, specifically cultures that are different from her own?
quote:Originally posted by Rowe:quote:Originally posted by Afro Saxon:
My prefernce is an old fashion women to an extent. Proud of African American/West Indian/Black African traditions in food and culture. One who is from a Black neighborhood. One who doesn't subscribe to feminism, relativism, multiculturalism or any other white liberal movements.
Ok, you do realize that you named a preference for multiple cultures in your response, don't you? African, West Indian, and African American are three different cultural groups, and even within these cultural groups, there are multiple cultural and ethnic differences. So, why wouldn't you appreciate a woman who embraces multiculturalism, specifically cultures that are different from her own?
quote:Originally posted by ShayaButHer:quote:Originally posted by Rowe:
Ok, you do realize that you named a preference for multiple cultures in your response, don't you? African, West Indian, and African American are three different cultural groups, and even within these cultural groups, there are multiple cultural and ethnic differences. So, why wouldn't you appreciate a woman who embraces multiculturalism, specifically cultures that are different from her own?
Rowe,
If I may, I wondered the same thing until I got back to the basics of what he was saying...I understood that statement to mean that "she" is not being all "We are the world" to the point of ignoring the issues that concern US, African/Indian/Black People, as a whole. "She" can love all of the rest of the world, but her loyalty is and always will be with her people. "She" is mindful not to forget who SHE IS....she remembers and always pays homage to her roots....or as my father used to warn when we were little: "Don't turn White!"
LOL...
But I am not AfroSaxon speaking, so I may be wrong.
"Wisdom Is A Woman CRACKING Up About Now!"
quote:Originally posted by ShayaButHer:quote:Originally posted by Rowe:
Ok, you do realize that you named a preference for multiple cultures in your response, don't you? African, West Indian, and African American are three different cultural groups, and even within these cultural groups, there are multiple cultural and ethnic differences. So, why wouldn't you appreciate a woman who embraces multiculturalism, specifically cultures that are different from her own?
Rowe,
If I may, I wondered the same thing until I got back to the basics of what he was saying...I understood that statement to mean that "she" is not being all "We are the world" to the point of ignoring the issues that concern US, African/Indian/Black People, as a whole. "She" can love all of the rest of the world, but her loyalty is and always will be with her people. "She" is mindful not to forget who SHE IS....she remembers and always pays homage to her roots....or as my father used to warn when we were little: "Don't turn White!"
LOL...
But I am not AfroSaxon speaking, so I may be wrong.
"Wisdom Is A Woman CRACKING Up About Now!"
quote:Originally posted by HonestBrother:quote:Originally posted by Rowe:quote:Originally posted by HonestBrother:
I'm appreciative and informed about diverse cultures. That doesn't mean I want to date any woman from any one of them.
Oh, ok. This must mean that your "appreciation" for people from culturally- and linguistically-diverse groups has limitations. Well some people might not consider that a real appreciation.![]()
I'm sure your appreciation for other cultures has limits too.
Unless you're willing to tell me you'd submit to a cliterodectomy ... Or wear a Burka ... or can recite Baudelaire in French ... or the Rig Veda in Sanskrit ...
How about this Rowe.
F*ck it.
I NEED A WHITE WOMAN, ASIAN WOMAN, WHAEVER .. JUST AS LONG AS SHE AIN'T BLACK.
Screw the whole thread.![]()
quote:Originally posted by Afro Saxon:
Said it better than I could. Thank you.
quote:Originally posted by Oshun Auset:
I could be wrong HB, but I think the 'winking smiley' in Rowe's post was alluding to how someposterspeople seem think that multi-cultural appreciation must include, and may even focus onsleeping withdating 'others'... Which of course is![]()
quote:Originally posted by HonestBrother:quote:Originally posted by Oshun Auset:
I could be wrong HB, but I think the 'winking smiley' in Rowe's post was alluding to how someposterspeople seem think that multi-cultural appreciation must include, and may even focus onsleeping withdating 'others'... Which of course is![]()
Oh ... well if that's the case... sorry ...
Personally .. I've always found Indian art, music, philosophy, and food more beautiful than I found Indian women. Cross cultural dating generally gets low multi-cultural marks from me.
IMO It counts for cultural appreciation. But not a lot.
quote:Originally posted by Oshun Auset:
I find that cross cultural interests outside of the sexual/dating impulse are often a much more in depth and honest multiculturalism. Cross cultural dating devoid of any initial true cultural appreciation in other areas often leads to objectification and exotification of the 'other'.
quote:Originally posted by ShayaButHer:
If I may, I wondered the same thing until I got back to the basics of what he was saying...I understood that statement to mean that "she" is not being all "We are the world" to the point of ignoring the issues that concern US, African/Indian/Black People, as a whole. "She" can love all of the rest of the world, but her loyalty is and always will be with her people. "She" is mindful not to forget who SHE IS....she remembers and always pays homage to her roots....or as my father used to warn when
quote:Originally posted by Rowe:quote:Originally posted by Oshun Auset:
I find that cross cultural interests outside of the sexual/dating impulse are often a much more in depth and honest multiculturalism. Cross cultural dating devoid of any initial true cultural appreciation in other areas often leads to objectification and exotification of the 'other'.
I agree. And I think the most successful way to really better understand and gain an appreciation for people with backgrounds and cultures different from your own is by forming relationships with them. Therefore, networking, forming friendships, which can lead to dating, is a way to do this. You can only learn but so much reading books about different cultures and traveling. To really appreciate a culture on more profound level, you have to get to know the people who belong to these cultures.
quote:Originally posted by Rowe:quote:Originally posted by ShayaButHer:
If I may, I wondered the same thing until I got back to the basics of what he was saying...I understood that statement to mean that "she" is not being all "We are the world" to the point of ignoring the issues that concern US, African/Indian/Black People, as a whole. "She" can love all of the rest of the world, but her loyalty is and always will be with her people. "She" is mindful not to forget who SHE IS....she remembers and always pays homage to her roots....or as my father used to warn when
But if you understand multiculturalism in the way that I do, then you would know that subscribing to multiculturalism isn't a betrayal of your cultural hertiage nor does it require you to abandon your cultural roots. I figured your explanation was probably the reason why Afro Saxon feels he doesn't want someone who subscribes to multiculturalism.
First of all, multiculturalism is simply a doctrine which proposes that several different cultures can harmoniously and equitably coexist in a single country. Multiculturalism doesn't ignore issues that are unique to diverse cultural groups, and it is does not suggest that one should completely forget about his or her cultural identity. That is not an accurate perception of multiculturalism. In fact, multiculturalism advocates a society that extends equitable status to distinct cultural and religious groups, with NO culture predominating. However, I know that by the time someone finishes reading my statement, he or she is going to get the urge to follow up this response by saying that most Whites while (rhetorically) claiming to be multiculturalists in public are really interested in making certain that their race and culture(s) take precedence over others in private, but the same can be said for Whites who claim to be strong propoments of justice, brotherhood, and freedom. Therefore, regardless of the term, how White people relate to them does not change their meanings.
Ultimately, you have to be responsible for how you represent what you believe. I've come to realize that you can't control anyone else's behavior. If you believe in freedom, justice, and a world that is multicuturally aware and appreciative, then you live life in the way that you know is right. And that's what I try to do.
quote:Originally posted by Oshun Auset:
Very true, but it never has to get to the sexual level for said appreciation... and I'm not referring to you, but I know many people who skip on past the intimacy of friendship and social networking, and primarily focus on the dating/sexual aspect... Yet because they are dealing with the dating/sexual aspect, somehow feel like 'true' multiculturalists when compared to those who don't, as if sexual/dating relationships expose them to some cultural aspect that friendship/networking and other forms of cultural immersion don't...
quote:Originally posted by HonestBrother:
OK. For a little bit you were starting to worry me.![]()
quote:Originally posted by Rowe:quote:Originally posted by Oshun Auset:
Very true, but it never has to get to the sexual level for said appreciation... and I'm not referring to you, but I know many people who skip on past the intimacy of friendship and social networking, and primarily focus on the dating/sexual aspect... Yet because they are dealing with the dating/sexual aspect, somehow feel like 'true' multiculturalists when compared to those who don't, as if sexual/dating relationships expose them to some cultural aspect that friendship/networking and other forms of cultural immersion don't...
As far as I'm concerned, if the people involved in the relationship are consenting adults, then each is getting what he or she wants. I'm not going to judge someone's purpose for being in a relationship, and I'm trusting that an adult can make his or her own decisions. Basically, people get together with other people for all types of reasons. Some are curious, and sometimes this curiousity leads to something more serious. That's just the way of the world now. Gone are the days when people felt a social stigma about not dating and marrying someone in their own race. And I think our generation, and those that come after are going to be less and less concerned about this.
quote:Originally posted by Oshun Auset:
People often get their curiosity satisfied, and never come to any greater cultural understanding.
quote:Originally posted by Rowe:
But if you understand multiculturalism in the way that I do, then you would know that subscribing to multiculturalism isn't a betrayal of your cultural hertiage nor does it require you to abandon your cultural roots....
First of all, multiculturalism is simply a doctrine which proposes that several different cultures can harmoniously and equitably coexist in a single country. Multiculturalism doesn't ignore issues that are unique to diverse cultural groups, and it is does not suggest that one should completely forget about his or her cultural identity. That is not an accurate perception of multiculturalism. In fact, multiculturalism advocates a society that extends equitable status to distinct cultural and religious groups, with NO culture predominating......
Ultimately, you have to be responsible for how you represent what you believe.