Skip to main content

************Oops!.....My bad...I did it again!***************

Tyler Perry and Oprah Winfrey had a frank conversation about the most difficult time in his life during the episode that aired Wednesday.

He discussed, in great candor, physical abuse he suffered as a child at the hands of his father, and sexual abuse by several others.

“Predators know when a child is an easy mark,” Perry said.

He remained silent for years, not wanting to cause his mother pain. After she passed away last year, he said, he felt it was time to bring it out into the open.

“He knows and I know that because of who he is, this is going to be a pivotal moment not just for him but for millions of men who have survived the unthinkable and have never told a soul, especially their wives,” Winfrey said at the beginning of the show.

By the time he was 10, Perry said, he had been sexually abused by both a woman and several men, and was subjected to regular beatings by his father. His Aunt Jerry was in the audience and confirmed his recollections. She lived around the corner from Perry’s family when he was young, and said she once pointed a gun at Perry’s father after young Perry was beaten.

“That is Madea,” Perry said during the show, pointing to his aunt and referring to his gun-toting, no-nonsense character.

Perry become emotional almost from the beginning of Wednesday’s show, and teared up as photos of himself as a boy were displayed.

“It’s hard for me to look at that child,” Perry said. “I feel like I died as a child. My father – he hated me so much and I couldn’t understand why. I was sickly all the time, I had asthma. He hated that about me.”

As a coping mechanism, Perry said he learned to escape mentally, explaining, “Every time somebody was doing something to me that was horrible, I could go to this park in my mind.”

He also credits his faith for seeing him through.

“I was suicidal. I thought, what is the point of living? My mother was my saving grace. She would take me to church with her. I wanted to know this God who made her so happy. I don’t know where I would be without faith in my life. She didn’t have much but she gave me Jesus.”

Winfrey noted that at 41, Perry has his 10th movie coming out, “For Colored Girls,” and is second only to James Cameron in terms of Hollywood earning power. Yet material wealth don’t erase childhood trauma, said Winfrey, who has been candid about her own abuse as a young person.

“I remember three abusers in particular,” Winfrey said. “By the third time I thought, I must have a banner on my head. I must be drawing this to myself.”

Perry responded, “Predators know when a child is an easy mark.”

He said that he’s been in five serious relationships, and that every one of those women have helped him understand part of his past and begin to deal with it.

“So many men will not talk about this. I had to do it to be free,” Perry said. “Everyone who is abused, there is a string to the puppet master. What I started to do was untie the strings.”

Perry’s father is still alive. “I don’t care” what he thinks about his going public, Perry said. He said there is “no remorse” on the part of his father, but he supports him financially, and pays for the home he lives in.

“I forgave him,” Perry said. “The same amount of strength to take it, is the same amount of strength it takes to let it go. As a man I am not going to sit here and let myself suffer anymore.”

Perry has often said that watching Winfrey’s show many years ago, long before they met, first inspired him to begin writing. He brought that up again Wednesday. By that time, both he and Winfrey, and probably everyone in the audience, were in tears.

“On behalf of all the people who will never get the chance to sit here and tell you how much you have changed their lives over the past 25 years, I just want to thank you,” he told his friend.

The two team up again on Nov. 5. On that day, the audience will consist of 200 men who will share stories of being abused, as Perry did on Wednesday.

Last edited by Cholly
Original Post

Replies sorted oldest to newest

I saw it.  And yes.....tears were in my eyes.  Cuz I see children like this EVERYDAY-where their mothers boyfriend/male neighbor or friend systematically raped them over a period of time-2 to 5 years.  And these boys constantly in denial about what happened to them...but!  Their behavior screams abuse...sexual abuse.  I have been debating with colleagues who say that Tyler is GAY...and just don't have the courage to come out,  I take issue with that...cuz what 5 year old want a GROWN AZZ sick man rubbing on his pee pee? What five year old is thinking about his sexuality at that tender age?  And to have it happen over and over before the age of puberty?  Is.  HORRIBLE. No child should go through this.  No child.  I think of the children including babies in Africa who are RAPED everyday by sick individuals who see nothing WRONG in this behavior.  And I said to want him to come out so you can be comfortable with your perception of you can say "I knew it!."  Of course he denied this.  But I am NOT convinced with his denial.  I think too much is put on imagery.  And children get stuck with  this empty illusion and have a hard time exposing the pedophiles stalking their neighborhoods and their private space i.e. their gentials.  

This fellow also indicated that Oprah was trying to get Tyler to say he was gay....but!  I disagree.  I think she was trying to make him as comfortable as he could to say whatever it was he needed to say.  Cuz after all this was his childhood nightmare.  And to have an abusive father and a passive mother?  Well that is one of the many stages set as a flaming target for many lurking pedophiles.  Cuz why?  It's clear the child is NOT protected.  This is a serious issue not only in black neighborhoods[with many immates coming out and either preying on innocent children or being on the down low to their female mates] but across this nation.  Pedophile in my OPINION, was created by no other MASSA himself.  And this sickness has festered onto other males who may or may not understand how they got to be the way they are.  It is tragic.  And can answer the questions why some black men are the way they are to the women they supposedly love.  

Me myself....unless he comes out and say it....I don;t think he is gay.  I think he is STILL strugglin with his childhood rapes and the abusive history of his father.  Just cuz the physical human being has grown up to be 6 feet 8....doesn't mean the 5 year old boy has grown up.  As Tyler was talking....all I saw was an abused child in suspension with no one grown to protect him.  What I saw on Oprah was not a gay man....but!  A broken child.  And there are many like him....with no voice.  I cried that day....for all the children now grown who have been brutally abused and mistreated by grown folks.  I am proud that Tyler stepped up to be the voice....for those children who have been voiceless, powerless and misunderstood for toooooo long over the years. 
Last edited by Kocolicious
I hate seeing how his father is just getting away with what he's done.  All of the adults involved.  They say "success is the best revenge," but not when the victim shares that success with the perpetrators.  I guess Tyler Perry has figured that revenge is not the point.  I applaud him for that, but I still worry that justice isn't served.  And that low lives walk free and happy after committing these horrors.
Im just curious about why it was Oprah and not say, Montel Williams that brought this issue out for Tyler (although I'm happy that he seems to be overcoming the damage left over from the abuse).  I just wonder if he could have felt safe discussing this issue with a male supportive figure? 

Oprah probably represents some maternal safe haven for him emotionally i suppose.  Compelling story.
  [Koco raises her hand]  oh oh I know I know. [Well I have a couple of thoughts anyway]  Number one Montel Williams does not have his SHOW anymore[at least not where I live]'; number two Oprah is the diva of coming on and tellin your OWN story in your OWN way....and it didn't hurt that she was also abused three times by GROWN UP sick men.  So there's commonality there.  In other words, she was in Tyler's shoe too as a child except for she wasn't  sexually abused by a woman.  Number three, they are close FRIENDS and Oprah was instrumental to Tyler pullin out of his pain and turning it around through his writings....thus making him the number 2 man in Hollywood.   As a rule, sexual abuse was NOT discussed in the black was totally taboo.  And in my opinion, this behavior is that it was done to one person and that person has the abiltity to do it to another person....sometimes they don't but many many times they do and this sick cycle continues with the abusee not knowing why.  

And if you look at our history, you will find horrible stories about massa being the culpit of abusing black children-boys and girls[and you know massa molested his own this perception isn't too FAR outta the box].  It was a subtle story written about this very thing about 25 years old...I remember the author being Toni Morrison or some other brilliant writer... but!  I do recall reading a story about a black man who family lived on sharecroppin farm owned by massa's son.  This man was appointed to be massa's son's play mate when they both were children.  They grew up together with massa's son having a strong hold on this man years after they were adults.  Since the man and his family were on this farm, this black man had to perform certain acts with massa's son to maintain his household.  Very compelling story....and!  I really can't remember[it's been soooo long] who is the penned author...but!  Toni keeps coming in my mind.  

I agree with Oprah and Tyler...this secret needs to come out.  Cuz only then will a lot of black men be able to heal the abused child within.
Last edited by Kocolicious

Add Reply

Link copied to your clipboard.