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quote:
Originally posted by Frenchy:
Is there such a thing as having too much sex in a relationship or is that a cover for something else? Does "too much sex" ruin a relationship? Generally speaking, of course. I know there are exceptions.



I don't think I've ever had too much sex in a relationship... I have been in 'relationships' where I shouldn't have had sex at all - essentially taking it to a place where it wasn't supposed to be....

But I do think sex can be used like a drug to mask problems...
well i can't really say too much now since i'm still a virgin but when i get married hit, if me and my husband have more sex than conversations, i'd say that's having way too much sex kiss b/c i think we'd start seeing each other only for our own sexual pleasure and not the best friends that have a deep mental connection with the other outside of the bedroom. i don't know but i think that would be the result of too much sex and not a lot of communication.
A man once told me a long time ago that I "shouldn't run a good racehorse into the ground" ek

I've had numerous people give me different interpretations of the meaning behind that statement. Everything from:

"That's ridiculous. Clearly, he's gay."

to

"He was looking out for your relationship. If a man thinks he's in danger of starting to see you as only a 'sex thing,' he'll pull away from sex to preserve the relationship."

to

"He wasn't attracted to you anymore and didn't know how to say it."

I can see a woman doing the second, but not a man.

I'm not talking about partners who are not sexually aroused. I'm talking about being aroused and yet making the conscious decision that "too much sex" is taking place and you will not indulge.
quote:
Originally posted by Frenchy:
A man once told me a long time ago that I "shouldn't run a good racehorse into the ground" ek

I've had numerous people give me different interpretations of the meaning behind that statement. Everything from:

"That's ridiculous. Clearly, he's gay."

to

"He was looking out for your relationship. If a man thinks he's in danger of starting to see you as only a 'sex thing,' he'll pull away from sex to preserve the relationship."

to

"He wasn't attracted to you anymore and didn't know how to say it."

I can see a woman doing the second, but not a man.

I'm not talking about partners who are not sexually aroused. I'm talking about being aroused and yet making the conscious decision that "too much sex" is taking place and you will not indulge.


I don't know if I would go with any of the three. Unless you're talking addictive behavior (normal living activities suffering as a result of sexual activity), I'd just say that it was about fatigue or a libido mismatch.
quote:
Originally posted by Frenchy:
I'm talking about being aroused and yet making the conscious decision that "too much sex" is taking place and you will not indulge.
You can get to that point..... yes....

I can't speak for Men.....

But....as a Woman....

the need for intimacy..... is different from the need for sex.....

and sometimes a woman wants intimacy.... closeness....physically and mentally..... but that closeness can arouse a man......

and some women give in out of kindness for the man's needs.....

but.....

sometimes..... doing that is a little too much....

because a woman's body is not into it.....

a woman's body can tire.....

she may still want him ....

sensually....
just not sexually.....

I hope I'm being clear....



* and no this has nothing to do with me personally.... I talk to many women......about things such as this......*

sigh...

Peace,
Virtue
quote:
Originally posted by virtue:


You can get to that point..... yes....

I can't speak for Men.....

But....as a Woman....

the need for intimacy..... is different from the need for sex.....

and sometimes a woman wants intimacy.... closeness....physically and mentally..... but that closeness can arouse a man......

and some women give in out of kindness for the man's needs.....

but.....

sometimes..... doing that is a little too much....

because a woman's body is not into it.....

a woman's body can tire.....

she may still want him ....

sensually....
just not sexually.....

I hope I'm being clear....



* and no this has nothing to do with me personally.... I talk to many women......about things such as this......*

sigh...

Peace,
Virtue


dance
Libido: Some have strong drives, some need sex less--some have very little need for sex. the trick is finding a partner who is honest enough, with themselves, to know which level their need rest.

You mate with someone who has a drive close (Not perfectly matched!) to yours.

The key is the HONESTY.

My Wife and I are quite happy,...thank you.
quote:
Originally posted by Frenchy:
Is there such a thing as having too much sex in a relationship or is that a cover for something else? Does "too much sex" ruin a relationship? Generally speaking, of course. I know there are exceptions.


Sex is derived from sexus. Sexus means to cut off, separate, take a part of and amputate. The full meaning of sex was understood in African society. And according Dr. Llaila O. Afrika, author of African Holistic Health, sex is part of the Tree of Life. Sexual abuse cuts off life. Animals and plants that have excessive sex have short lifespans. Fruit trees that produce large crops year afer year have short lifespans. In men, excessive ejaculation of sperm causes impotency, weakens thinking, causes prostrate problems and decreases quality and quantity of the life of the offspring. In the book Sexual Knowledge by W. Hill, further information on the subject is revealed. In women, producing many babies causes the reproductive organs to deteriorate. Also, excessive sex causes a hormone drain and decreased thinking ability.

Women who have not been socialized to accept sexual lust still react to sexual lust negatively. Usually, the original reaction of women to sexual intercourse with men is negative. The woman naturally feels unfullfilled and unsatisfied by sexual intercourse. In the book Woman and Superwoman by A. Raleigh, this is discussed. This reaction is called frigidity. However, it is a wholistic reaction. For example, an individual who initally inhales cigrarette smoke acts with reject to the smoke. Also, an individual who intially drinks alcohol acts with revulsion to alcohol. Nontheless, this is a natual reaction just as the woman's reaction to sexual intercourse is negative (naturally frigid) manner is natural. Socialization and the repetition of smoking, drinking alcohol and sexual lust, conditions the human to accept it. Sexual lust (sex without the intent or purpose of procreation)is a high form of masturbation. Therefore, having too much sex is unwholistic. More importantly, excessive sex indicates an excessive loss of the fruits (sperm, egg) of the Human Tree of Life which results in human self-genocide.
quote:
Originally posted by MidLifeMan:
It's all relative...

Twice a day everyday is not enough for some....twice a week is to much for others. Big Grin


Choosing Relationships of Substance Over Relationships Based On Animalistic Lust

I have question. Why would anyone need to have sex twice a day? Why? For what? Why not explore other aspects of your relationship with your spouse? Better yet, why not strengthen your relationship with others? There is no reason at all for why anyone should have sex twice a day, everyday. Discover a hobby, read, socialize with people, meet a new friend, volunteer your time in shelters or schools, get involved in your community, etc. Get a life. People invest entirely too much time into just ONE individual. Just fucking and fucking and fucking like animals day in and day out is ridiculous. The world is bigger than your relationship to your spouse, and love is not obsessive.
Last edited {1}
Rowe

If I had the stamina and partner to have sex twice a day I would. I could think of nothing better than joining my lifemate in the celebration of our life together everyday and night.
I do not believe that there is such a thing as too much sex. It all depends on the persons involve in the relationship. Sex is not going to diminish sperm and lead to infertility, make you a dullard or grow hair on your palms if you masturbate.

Okay I do wear glasses but my poor eyesight is not from over-masterbation.

Er...I hope...
quote:
Originally posted by Blacksanction:
Rowe

If I had the stamina and partner to have sex twice a day I would. I could think of nothing better than joining my lifemate in the celebration of our life together everyday and night.
I do not believe that there is such a thing as too much sex. It all depends on the persons involve in the relationship. Sex is not going to diminish sperm and lead to infertility, make you a dullard or grow hair on your palms if you masturbate.

Okay I do wear glasses but my poor eyesight is not from over-masterbation.

Er...I hope...


Okay then, but don't call me when you'll need that Viagra later. Take two pills and call me in the morning. Wink
quote:
Originally posted by Rowe:
quote:
Originally posted by Blacksanction:
Rowe

If I had the stamina and partner to have sex twice a day I would. I could think of nothing better than joining my lifemate in the celebration of our life together everyday and night.
I do not believe that there is such a thing as too much sex. It all depends on the persons involve in the relationship. Sex is not going to diminish sperm and lead to infertility, make you a dullard or grow hair on your palms if you masturbate.

Okay I do wear glasses but my poor eyesight is not from over-masterbation.

Er...I hope...


Okay then, but don't call me when you'll need that Viagra later. Take two pills and call me in the morning. Wink



Rowe, we all appreciate your efforts to keep our erections strong and our sperm counts at peak efficiency tfro
quote:
Choosing Relationships of Substance Over Relationships Based On Animalistic Lust

I have question. Why would anyone need to have sex twice a day? Why? For what? Why not explore other aspects of your relationship with your spouse? Better yet, why not strengthen your relationship with others? There is no reason at all for why anyone should have sex twice a day, everyday. Discover a hobby, read, socialize with people, meet a new friend, volunteer your time in shelters or schools, get involved in your community, etc. Get a life. People invest entirely too much time into just ONE individual. Just fucking and fucking and fucking like animals day in and day out is ridiculous. The world is bigger than your relationship to your spouse, and love is not obsessive.


It is in our nature to seek things that give us pleasure and...sex can be pleasureable.

Once again...it's all relative...maybe for some may find something "wrong" with an active sex life. No one said they had to stay in bed 24/7 and never have any other "connection" to each other outside the bed room.
quote:
Originally posted by MidLifeMan:
No one said they had to stay in bed 24/7


eyes cabbage laugh

I can respect that people have varying libidos, but I think it's unfortunate that often times, the person with the lower sex drive makes the other partner feel like a freak or some kind of nympho. sad

I read in a magazine that if your partner is not enthusuastic enough in bed, every now and then you should turn down their sexual advances (even if you want to have sex), in order to build up the sexual tension and performance for the next night. Thoughts?
quote:
Originally posted by Frenchy:
quote:
Originally posted by MidLifeMan:
No one said they had to stay in bed 24/7


eyes cabbage laugh

I can respect that people have varying libidos, but I think it's unfortunate that often times, the person with the lower sex drive makes the other partner feel like a freak or some kind of nympho. sad


Frenchy, you tryin' to tell us something?... this happen to you often? Wink
Frenchy quote: I read in a magazine that if your partner is not enthusuastic enough in bed, every now and then you should turn down their sexual advances (even if you want to have sex), in order to build up the sexual tension and performance for the next night. Thoughts?

Playing games on the advice of a magazine is not wise. Be honest with the person if you are not happy with the level of sex that you are getting. There may be underlying issues as to why you are not getting enough such as you are not doing your share of the cleaning, cooking, child rearing, yard work. Resentment in a relationship is not an aphrodisiac.
quote:
Originally posted by Frenchy:
I read in a magazine that if your partner is not enthusuastic enough in bed, every now and then you should turn down their sexual advances (even if you want to have sex), in order to build up the sexual tension and performance for the next night. Thoughts?

I think that's wonderful advice. Anticipation is a powerful aphrodesiac.

But, in the manner of "turning down advances", words have to be chosen carefully. "No" is rejection. Rejection results in a bruised ego. A bruised ego results in lowered libido, self confidence, and attraction to your partner.

I would suggest... don't say no, say when! bsm

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