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"¢We mistakenly assume that if our partners love us they will react and behave in certain ways-the ways we react and behave when we love someone. This attitude sets us up to be disappointed again and again and prevents up from taking the necessary time to communicate lovingly about our differences.
"¢Falling in love is always magical. It feels eternal, as if love will last forever. We naively believe that somehow we are exempt from the problems our parents had, free from the odds that love will die, assured that it is meant to be and that we are destined to live happily ever after.
"¢When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom.
"¢A man's sense of self is defined through his ability to achieve results.
"¢A woman's sense of self is defined through her feelings and the quality of her relationships.
"¢Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed....Women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished.
"¢Given the opportunity to prove his potential, a man expresses his best self. Only when he feels he cannot succeed does he regress back to his old selfish ways.
"¢A woman's tendency to be compulsive relaxes as she remembers that she is worthy of love-she doesn't have to earn it; she can relax, give less, and receive more. She deserves it.
"¢To fully express their feelings, women assume poetic license to use various superlatives, metaphors, and generalizations.
"¢The number one complaint women have in relationships is: "I don't feel heard." Even this complaint is misunderstood by men!
"¢The biggest challenge for women is correctly to interpret and support a man when he isn't talking.
"¢When a man is silent it is easy for a woman to imagine the worst.
"¢Fulfilling a primary need is required before one is able fully to receive and appreciate the other kinds of love.
"¢A man commonly makes the mistake of thinking that once he has met all of a woman's primary love needs, and she feels happy and secure, that she should know from then on that she is loved.
"¢Just as communication is the most important element in a relationship, arguments can be the most destructive element.
"¢Most couples start out arguing about one thing and, within five minutes, are arguing about the way they are arguing!
"¢Intimidation always weakens trust in a relationship.
"¢Most arguments escalate when a man begins to invalidate a woman's feelings and she responds to him disapprovingly.
"¢The most common way women unknowingly start arguments is by not being direct when they share their feelings.
"¢When a woman keeps score, no matter how big or small a gift of love is, it scores one point; each gift has equal value.


When people are reluctant to commit to a romantic relationship, could it be that they are asking questions that create doubt, such as "What if there`s somebody even better out there? What if I commit myself now and miss out?" This would keep them from being able to enjoy what they already have.

What if they asked these questions instead: "How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?" "What do I love the most about you?" "How much richer will our lives be as a result of our relationship?"

What questions could you ask of yourself and your mate that would make the two of you feel like the luckiest people on earth?

i found these thoughts on a friends site..thought they were interesting enough to share here.

which do you agree with, which do you disagree with??

holiday warning: the consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whipsering when you are not--cheers!
<small style="color: green; font-family: lucida sans unicode">"The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed." steve biko</small>
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