After reading a discussion written by, naturallyme, in the "Sista's Spot," I knew, then, that I had come to the right website.
There are a myriad of reasons why there seems to be a black male shortage amongst the sisters out there in society--I'm not even talking about your run-of-the-mill reasons like the numbers of black males that are in prison, gay or pushing up daisies--I'm not even talking about these brothers running around, perpetrating a thug life, as well as the other type of overly discussed, undesirable black males. I'm going to discuss a few of the main reasons why there is such a disparity.
Women, period, regardless of race, have always outnumbered men--the problem that persists, particularly amongst blacks is lack of communication--the inability to interact constructively due to poor or total lack of social skills.
When I first started grad school, I thought along the same lines of the infamous black male shortage--surely, a brother of my caliber, entering grad school would have the pick of the litter--I was wrong. I met sisters with a number of excuses or issues that kept them from being romantically available. What I found out was a number of sisters that had allowed themselves to be verbally, physically, or emotionally abused and or neglected by black men they've dated or were married to in the past, therefore, they felt the need to put up barriers and employ a sort of 'waiting to exhale' mentality--using the pursuit of a higher education as an alternative to men. The problem with putting up barriers against elligible men is a two-edged sword--of course these women will be evading potentially harmful men but they will also knock themselves out of the elligble pool of available men altogether--this is specifically detrimental when considering the fact that these sisters are around a high concentration of black men that are on the same level as they are.
Another interesting problem is the number of sisters out there that are of age and are STILL playing high school games--being immature, manipulative, chosing bad boy types to interact with. You would think that these type of sisters between the ages of 25 to 36 would have learned from their mistakes of pursuing the wrong kind of men but they haven't.
From my personal experiences of interacting with sisters, I have found, more often than not, that many sisters (and brothers too, for this matter) do not take the time to develop the necessary social skills to, not only be receptive to elligible black men, they also don't have a healthy idea of what an elligible black man is.
Many sisters, more often than not, adhere to popular culture's idea of what an elligble black male is, via their 'girlfriends.' To put it more specifically, if a brother doesn't fit the ideal mold of what an elligible black man is, by 'girlfriends' requirements, then he isn't elligble. I feel more sisters should pursue elligible black men that fit their personal wants and needs instead of what they think their 'girlfriends' would approve of.
In the interest of not turning this discussion into a book, I will leave it up to participating members to read this discussion and inquire more specifically according to their own thoughts and concerns.