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So I'm reading the back and forth between women like Kocolicious and Khalliqa and the men on this site and I find myself inspired to write this. I normally don't get involved in gender wars because they normally just devolve into emotional spats and side taking that divides along gender lines regardless of who's right and wrong. However, because I see women who I genuinely respect i.e. Kocolicious and Khalliqa that are seemingly trying to make sense out of why men are reacting the way they are in the "Carnival" thread...I would like to share my perspective.

For starters lets get something straight I'm addressing this from a completely honest and purely MASCULINE perspective...So I know I may say some things that from a womens perspective she may not be able to fully relate to... Anyway just accept what I'm saying in the spirit in which it's given which is only to inform. There are some fundamental things about Men that women need to understand... one being that we are VISUAL when it comes to sexuality and what that means. This is not about choice with regard to what we are stimulated by it is purely PYSIOLOGICAL ...when a man see's an attractive women actual bio chemical processes are triggered this is NATURAL. This is the driving force which motivates Men to even pursue women in the first place which consequently keeps the human race going...it's just as natural as the womans desire and drive to give birth. Women can no more understand this aspect of men as men can understand why women would seek to be impregnated carry a child for nine months and then have it pulled from her body...in some cases multiple times. To the Masculine mind the idea of this type of thing happening to our bodies is Abhorrent...we are just not wired for such a thing. Now I'm not talking about effeminate punk men who want to be women their damn self ...I'm talking about REAL TESTOSTERONE DRIVEN MEN like myself.

God knew what he was doing because if you had to depend on a man to allow himself to be penetrated and then forced to carry another human being for NINE MONTHS and then GIVE BIRTH to it...Man you wouldn't have to worry about birth control because it wouldn't happen I know it wouldn't with me. A mans whole outlook a sexuality is as a PENETRATOR not a receiver so we are naturally more aggressive. So our outlook as it relates to women will reflect that... and we take on this "hunter" mentality because of it. Now where responsibility and maturity come into play is how a man CONTROLS these base impulses not the fact that he has them..which he can't control. If a man has made a commitment to a particular women he is OBLIGATED to that women and he should be MAN ENOUGH to not cheat on her...in spite of his carnal desires.

Personally, I love looking at beautiful women just as much as the next guy but I tend to be more attracted to discretion in a women...I'm not into all the "booty shaking" videos and all that. I personally think that belly dancing is WAY more sexier than "booty shaking" but that's just me. Anyway, I understand the mens attraction to the pic's in the carnival thread however I personally would not post pics like that where women could see them...but again that's just me. I guess I'm old fashioned that way... I was raised in a household where I did not cuss or show any obscenities to my Mother or Grandmother so I try to give the ladies here the same respect.

Having said that though I'm a guy and I know that when guys get together we talk about things that women might find objectionable. So maybe part of the problem is that the Den is completely open to women perhaps some of it's content could be private 'for guys only'...Maybe this would shield women from viewing us when we are not on our best behavior...but this is just my suggestion.
"In a world where lies have become accepted as fact..The truth when finally heard burns like a flame of fire" "It is irrational to want that which is not God's will, so attune thyself with thy inner Nature and live happily."
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As long as we're being honest .... I ain't een gon lie ... I love the sight of a woman's hips, thighs, breasts, posterior ... ALLADAT.

These things are what distinguish women (physically) from men.

The contours of a woman's body form the hills and valleys of the landscape of another world.

They inspire desire in men.

But ... it is her mind that creates love.

quote:

God knew what he was doing because if you had to depend on a man to allow himself to be penetrated and then forced to carry another human being for NINE MONTHS and then GIVE BIRTH to it...Man you wouldn't have to worry about birth control because it wouldn't happen I know it wouldn't with me. A mans whole outlook a sexuality is as a PENETRATOR not a receiver so we are naturally more aggressive. So our outlook as it relates to women will reflect that... and we take on this "hunter" mentality because of it. Now where responsibility and maturity come into play is how a man CONTROLS these base impulses not the fact that he has them..which he can't control. If a man has made a commitment to a particular women he is OBLIGATED to that women and he should be MAN ENOUGH to not cheat on her...in spite of his carnal desires.

Personally, I love looking at beautiful women just as much as the next guy but I tend to be more attracted to discretion in a women...I'm not into all the "booty shaking" videos and all that. I personally think that belly dancing is WAY more sexier than "booty shaking" but that's just me. Anyway, I understand the mens attraction to the pic's in the carnival thread however I personally would not post pics like that where women could see them...but again that's just me. I guess I'm old fashioned that way... I was raised in a household where I did not cuss or show any obscenities to my Mother or Grandmother so I try to give the ladies here the same respect.


yeah

I like looking at pictures too.

But there's a time and place for that.
The last time I suggested what you did LieDecryptor:

quote:
So maybe part of the problem is that the Den is completely open to women perhaps some of it's content could be private 'for guys only'...Maybe this would shield women from viewing us when we are not on our best behavior...but this is just my suggestion.


I got blasted six ways to Sunday.

Maybe you'll have better luck explaining that some conversations (especially in The Den) should be for men only.
quote:
Originally posted by shulamite:
Not that I'm being consistent in posting this in the current thread, but I agree with you...

But alla y'all need to get up out the Sista's Spot for real!

Hello Radio... Hello Whirling Moat! nono


LOL!

I would not object to the Men having their own private section "blocked off" from the Ladies, if it does not already exist (laughing, laughing, laughing)...

Men do need that time to hang with just the fellas...and I ReSpect that.

"Wisdom Is A Woman Getting Out of the Den Now!"
Women lurking in The Den isn't a bad thing. If they'd just read what we, menfolk, were saying without trying to fit our comments and conduct into the woman's world ... without feeling the need to castigate, chastize or set us straight, they just might learn something about us.

I other words, if you womens [while in our cave, The Den] would listen more and talk less, you just might learn a thing or two.

BTW, the same holds for us menfolk, when in the Sistas Spot.
quote:
Originally posted by Kweli4Real:
Women lurking in The Den isn't a bad thing. If they'd just read what we, menfolk, were saying without trying to fit our comments and conduct into the woman's world ... without feeling the need to castigate, chastize or set us straight, they just might learn something about us.

I other words, if you womens [while in our cave, The Den] would listen more and talk less, you just might learn a thing or two.



And how often does this happen Kweli? lol
quote:
Originally posted by Kweli4Real:
Women lurking in The Den isn't a bad thing. If they'd just read what we, menfolk, were saying without trying to fit our comments and conduct into the woman's world ... without feeling the need to castigate, chastize or set us straight, they just might learn something about us.

I other words, if you womens [while in our cave, The Den] would listen more and talk less, you just might learn a thing or two.

BTW, the same holds for us menfolk, when in the Sistas Spot.

yeah

I read in Sista Spot often... but I never post there. There's a lot to be learned about women simply by observing their interactions with each other without male interference. It's almost like being a fly on the wall. 90% of the threads that get jacked up in there were derailed by one of us... and I think that's unfortunate.

Perhaps if more of us showed some more discipline, the ladies would follow suit.
quote:
Originally posted by LieDecrypter:
So I'm reading the back and forth between women like Kocolicious and Khalliqa and the men on this site and I find myself inspired to write this. I normally don't get involved in gender wars because they normally just devolve into emotional spats and side taking that divides along gender lines regardless of who's right and wrong. However, because I see women who I genuinely respect i.e. Kocolicious and Khalliqa that are seemingly trying to make sense out of why men are reacting the way they are in the "Carnival" thread...I would like to share my perspective.

For starters lets get something straight I'm addressing this from a completely honest and purely MASCULINE perspective...So I know I may say some things that from a womens perspective she may not be able to fully relate to... Anyway just accept what I'm saying in the spirit in which it's given which is only to inform. There are some fundamental things about Men that women need to understand... one being that we are VISUAL when it comes to sexuality and what that means. This is not about choice with regard to what we are stimulated by it is purely PYSIOLOGICAL ...when a man see's an attractive women actual bio chemical processes are triggered this is NATURAL. This is the driving force which motivates Men to even pursue women in the first place which consequently keeps the human race going...it's just as natural as the womans desire and drive to give birth. Women can no more understand this aspect of men as men can understand why women would seek to be impregnated carry a child for nine months and then have it pulled from her body...in some cases multiple times. To the Masculine mind the idea of this type of thing happening to our bodies is Abhorrent...we are just not wired for such a thing. Now I'm not talking about effeminate punk men who want to be women their damn self ...I'm talking about REAL TESTOSTERONE DRIVEN MEN like myself.

God knew what he was doing because if you had to depend on a man to allow himself to be penetrated and then forced to carry another human being for NINE MONTHS and then GIVE BIRTH to it...Man you wouldn't have to worry about birth control because it wouldn't happen I know it wouldn't with me. A mans whole outlook a sexuality is as a PENETRATOR not a receiver so we are naturally more aggressive. So our outlook as it relates to women will reflect that... and we take on this "hunter" mentality because of it. Now where responsibility and maturity come into play is how a man CONTROLS these base impulses not the fact that he has them..which he can't control. If a man has made a commitment to a particular women he is OBLIGATED to that women and he should be MAN ENOUGH to not cheat on her...in spite of his carnal desires.

Personally, I love looking at beautiful women just as much as the next guy but I tend to be more attracted to discretion in a women...I'm not into all the "booty shaking" videos and all that. I personally think that belly dancing is WAY more sexier than "booty shaking" but that's just me. Anyway, I understand the mens attraction to the pic's in the carnival thread however I personally would not post pics like that where women could see them...but again that's just me. I guess I'm old fashioned that way... I was raised in a household where I did not cuss or show any obscenities to my Mother or Grandmother so I try to give the ladies here the same respect.

Having said that though I'm a guy and I know that when guys get together we talk about things that women might find objectionable. So maybe part of the problem is that the Den is completely open to women perhaps some of it's content could be private 'for guys only'...Maybe this would shield women from viewing us when we are not on our best behavior...but this is just my suggestion.


Since you're justifiying this for the men..

You do realize there is a difference between sexual objectification and appreciation right?

I'm beginning to think I've been naively believing that men are capable of the latter.. but increasingly I'm reminded by men that not only are you incapable of functioning outside of the former.. but you prefer to revel in the former..

Okay...

this is something I will have to accept and will respond accordingly.. It would mean men would have to be treated like enemies.. because as a woman I resent any woman being sexually objectified or sexually objectifying herself... at best this would mean men are enabling her worst characteristics in return to pleasure their lust and at worst they are directly controlling and influencing her worst characteristics in exchange for stimulating their lusts...

I've always believed treating men like enemies was astoundingly ridiculous.. I've known a few men in my life who love women but also respect them.. perhaps it was all an act and they really do not see women as more than a** and t*ts..


at any rate.. this board has debated this for a while.. if you want to degrade women and watch porn why not just go to a porn site.. because you apparently are requesting privacy on the basis of this and not some other overarching noble reason...

MBM has the capability of sectioning off a group for privacy this has been discussed ad nauseum.. just shoot him an email get a consensus etc..

But thanks for revealing yourself before there is a possibility it is done..


ooohhhhh grrrrrr.. I just read your comment about "bellydancing" being sexy.. perhaps....

but the history of bellydancing reveals that it was a beautiful art form developed by, controlled by and performed by women FOR WOMEN ONLY.. it became corrupted through western travellers who brought fanciful tales of "belydancing women"..

Belly dancers were initially fully clothed women and the art form had more to do with physical development for childbirth and competition for proof of health as well as spiritual expression for women...

No man was involved.. it devolved into something exploitive in western hands..

mmmk.. just wanted to say that...
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quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:
As long as we're being honest .... I ain't een gon lie ... I love the sight of a woman's hips, thighs, breasts, posterior ... ALLADAT.

These things are what distinguish women (physically) from men.

The contours of a woman's body form the hills and valleys of the landscape of another world.

They inspire desire in men.

But ... it is her mind that creates love.


Indeed...


quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:
yeah
I like looking at pictures too.

But there's a time and place for that.


Precisely...however correct me if I'm wrong but as it relates to this site...would that place not be the Den?
quote:
Originally posted by ddouble:
The last time I suggested what you did LieDecryptor:

quote:
So maybe part of the problem is that the Den is completely open to women perhaps some of it's content could be private 'for guys only'...Maybe this would shield women from viewing us when we are not on our best behavior...but this is just my suggestion.


I got blasted six ways to Sunday.

Maybe you'll have better luck explaining that some conversations (especially in The Den) should be for men only.


I wonder why you received such resistance...the suggestion seems logical to me...
quote:
Originally posted by Khalliqa:
You do realize there is a difference between sexual objectification and appreciation right?


Of course which is why I shared the fact that I like looking at beautiful women to...however personally I prefer discretion and not just seeing women gyrating around which has become all to prevalent in this "video vixen" age which for the most part is objectifying women. To appreciate women you have to always be mindful that no matter how physically pleasing to the eye she is...she is a human being with an intellect, emotions and a soul... to the extent that some men lose sight of this allowing themselves to be blinded only by her physical is where part of the problem lies.

quote:
Originally posted by Khalliqa:
I'm beginning to think I've been naively believing that men are capable of the latter.. but increasingly I'm reminded by men that not only are you incapable of functioning outside of the former.. but you prefer to revel in the former..


You should not feel that you were naive, as I pointed out earlier... with men sexuality is inextricably linked to to our sense of sight...having said that no matter what our personal moral code of ethics are if we see an attractive women there is a biochemical reaction and we are stimulated...this is natural. However, it is a code of ethic's and morals that should prevent us from ACTING on this natural impulse (or behaving crudely because of it)... especially if either we or the particular women are not available due us being committed to someone else. The problem comes into play when both Men and Women violate their better judgments in exchange for short term immediate gratification.


quote:
Originally posted by Khalliqa:
Okay...

this is something I will have to accept and will respond accordingly.. It would mean men would have to be treated like enemies.. because as a woman I resent any woman being sexually objectified or sexually objectifying herself... at best this would mean men are enabling her worst characteristics in return to pleasure their lust and at worst they are directly controlling and influencing her worst characteristics in exchange for stimulating their lusts...


What you should accept is the fact that men are going to be attracted to what they deem to be beautiful women....what you should not accept is when some men take that attraction and use it as a means to be boorish, crude and disrespectful. Not all men behave in this way...not all of us are your enemies...I hope for the sake of your peace of mind that you figure out a way to cope with this reality and begin to separate the two.

quote:
Originally posted by Khalliqa:
I've always believed treating men like enemies was astoundingly ridiculous..


You were correct.. it is...

quote:
Originally posted by Khalliqa:
I've known a few men in my life who love women but also respect them.. perhaps it was all an act and they really do not see women as more than a** and t*ts..


If you surrender to your pain and take on this very narrow view of men...then you are doing the same thing as those men who seek to objectify women are you not?


quote:
Originally posted by Khalliqa:

at any rate.. this board has debated this for a while.. if you want to degrade women and watch porn why not just go to a porn site.. because you apparently are requesting privacy on the basis of this and not some other overarching noble reason...


Personally, when I join sites like this I rarely post in or read places like the Den (so this suggestion was not for my benefit)... not because I can't relate to some of the topics but simply because I'm very busy and I feel my time here could be better spent sharing knowledge with my people. The suggestion that I mentioned was born out of the realization that men and women are simply not going to see things the same way. This suggestion applys to the women also... I believe there are certain topics that women should be able to discuss without Men being present. I'm not limiting this to threads that post pictures that may offend other members...I'm also talking about certain subjects in general that should be talked about among ones peers.


quote:
Originally posted by Khalliqa:
MBM has the capability of sectioning off a group for privacy this has been discussed ad nauseum.. just shoot him an email get a consensus etc..

But thanks for revealing yourself before there is a possibility it is done..


Notwithstanding your presumption that you have acquired a revelation about me due to this suggestion....I appreciate both you and ddouble informing me that this has been suggested before. From my point of view it just seems like a logical thing to do similar to the reason there are Mens and Womens washrooms in any given establishment. There are just certain aspects of the opposite sex that we don't always need to be privy to...that we just simply won't be able to relate to...I've accepted this fact and as I mentioned above I hope for the sake of your peace of mind you do to.
quote:
Originally posted by Kweli4Real:
quote:
Does anyone hear any complaints or attacks when the women post a picture of a man, or are they doing it tastefully?


lol Now, OC. You know that only evil men objectify and victimize, womens merely appreciate ... oh yeah, and get victimized. lol


Shhhhhhhh!!!
Don't say that too loud, someone may hear. laugh
quote:
Originally posted by Khalliqa:

Since you're justifiying this for the men..

You do realize there is a difference between sexual objectification and appreciation right?


Speaking for myself, I do recognize the difference.

Not to minimize the problem of objectification women in the society at large ... You've never appreciated a man solely on the basis of his physical characteristics?

I mean there is an Eye Candy for Sandye thread in the Sista's Spot.

Granted, there are more threads of a similar nature in The Den, but women are capable of celebrating the physical too.


quote:

I'm beginning to think I've been naively believing that men are capable of the latter.. but increasingly I'm reminded by men that not only are you incapable of functioning outside of the former.. but you prefer to revel in the former..


Perhaps you're only focusing on the former?

quote:

Okay...

this is something I will have to accept and will respond accordingly.. It would mean men would have to be treated like enemies.. because as a woman I resent any woman being sexually objectified or sexually objectifying herself... at best this would mean men are enabling her worst characteristics in return to pleasure their lust and at worst they are directly controlling and influencing her worst characteristics in exchange for stimulating their lusts...


Do you have specific examples of how this occurs in daily life (apart from posting Carnival pictures)?

quote:

I've always believed treating men like enemies was astoundingly ridiculous.. I've known a few men in my life who love women but also respect them.. perhaps it was all an act and they really do not see women as more than a** and t*ts..


The women who I know and with whom I maintain regular contacts ... are women who I appreciate for more than their bodies ... Pretty only gets you so far and if a person has nothing else to offer me then I'm not likely to maintain regular contct with them. I certainly would never consider a potential mate for whom I did not have the requisite respect and (non-physical) appreciation. I've even found myself attracted to women who did not initially strike me physically but, after I got to know them, impressed me with their spirits.

At any rate, I'm still capable of appreciating the purely physical (call it "lust" if you like) without the benefit of knowing the woman on a deeper level ... which doesn't mean that I would necessarily like the woman even if I did have the opportunity to know her on a deeper level. One does not have to act upon lust. However I see no problem with (mentally) entertaining lust if it is kept under proper control. It's not much different from wishing I had a piece of cheesecake ... even though I'm on a diet and can't eat cheesecake.

I'm perfectly capable of making these distinctions.

By the way, isn't it equally possible to lust after a woman on the basis of her mind? Is that somehow a higher quality of lust (morally speaking)?
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quote:
Originally posted by Black Viking:
I read in Sista Spot often... but I never post there. There's a lot to be learned about women simply by observing their interactions with each other without male interference. It's almost like being a fly on the wall. 90% of the threads that get jacked up in there were derailed by one of us... and I think that's unfortunate.

Perhaps if more of us showed some more discipline, the ladies would follow suit.


yeah
That is the approach I finally adopted after a year or so of interjecting in the ladies' spot.
To be honest, i don't have a problem, per se, with brothas posting in Sistas Spot. It's good to get another perspective even if it gets a lil bit heated. And quite frequently it's hilarious stuff.


HOwever, a number of brothas come over there with malicioius intent, and not only villify the sistas, and tell us everything they think is wrong with sistas, but literally curse us out, and call us everything but a child of the goddess IN THE SISTAS SPOT SECTION ohsnap


and if we must endure this in our own spot, I don't see why the fellas can't tolerate a lil estrogen-based commentary over here in the den.

it's dusty in here *cough* and yall need a feminine influence, so we can inspire you to be your better selves over here

*spraying fresh flower scented air freshener*

there, that's better flowers
I still vote for a 'gender lockdown' on both forums!

There are serial offenders on both sides of the aisle that can't respect boundaries and can't stand to let the other side have any peace.

It's a simple matter of respect. However, some people were absent on the day that was getting passed out. A small number but, just enough to ruin it for everybody else. sck

So ... (if it's even possible to do it) I think the Sista's Spot should only be able to be commented in for those that identify on their profile as *female* ... and The Den should be able to be posted to only by those who identify as men. Those not sure shouldn't be able to post in either! Razz

The rest of the board is open for cross-gender interaction. We don't even need those two forums (The Den & The Spot) if they're not going to be able to be used for the purposes intended. Without disruption. From people who just don't know how to act.

Individually, I think both could be a good source of learning and information to one gender by the other. And lord knows both sides could benefit from learning more about the other ... by just sitting back and listening, rather than trying to assert their own personal (dysfunctional) will.
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quote:
Originally posted by EbonyRose:
I still vote for a 'gender lockdown' on both forums!

There are serial offenders on both sides of the aisle that can't respect boundaries and can't stand to let the other side have any peace.

It's a simple matter of respect. However, some people were absent on the day that was getting passed out. A small number but, just enough to ruin it for everybody else. sck

So ... (if it's even possible to do it) I think the Sista's Spot should only be able to be commented in for those that identify on their profile as *female* ... and The Den should be able to be posted to only by those who identify as men. Those not sure shouldn't be able to post in either! Razz

The rest of the board is open for cross-gender interaction. We don't even need those two forums (The Den & The Spot) if they're not going to be able to be used for the purposes intended. Without disruption. From people who just don't know how to act.



Ebony

you do realize, that the policy you are advocating with severely hamper your ability to flirt up the brothas, you sexy voice mofo, you? cool
quote:
Originally posted by Kweli4Real:
quote:
Ebony

you do realize, that the policy you are advocating with severely hamper your ability to flirt up the brothas, you sexy voice mofo, you?


lol


ek ek ek

I prolly don't even want to know where that last comment (or was that a compliment 19) came from ... so, I'm not even gonna ask! Smile

And yes, it would hamper - but not severely, though ... 'cause where there's a will there is ALWAYS a way! And I suppose minor adjustments would need to be made. Big Grin

I would hate being kicked out of The Den .. however, it would be worth whatever disappointment I might suffer to be able to give the fellas a place to call their own.

(Both here and in real life) They always seem to be on the losing end of that stick. sck
Originally posted by EbonyRose:
I still vote for a 'gender lockdown' on both forums!

There are serial offenders on both sides of the aisle that can't respect boundaries and can't stand to let the other side have any peace.

It's a simple matter of respect. However, some people were absent on the day that was getting passed out. A small number but, just enough to ruin it for everybody else.

So ... (if it's even possible to do it) I think the Sista's Spot should only be able to be commented in for those that identify on their profile as *female* ... and The Den should be able to be posted to only by those who identify as men. Those not sure shouldn't be able to post in either!

The rest of the board is open for cross-gender interaction. We don't even need those two forums (The Den & The Spot) if they're not going to be able to be used for the purposes intended. Without disruption. From people who just don't know how to act.
yeah



quote:
Originally posted by EbonyRose:
quote:
Originally posted by Kweli4Real:
quote:
Ebony

you do realize, that the policy you are advocating with severely hamper your ability to flirt up the brothas, you sexy voice mofo, you?


lol


ek ek ek

I prolly don't even want to know where that last comment (or was that a compliment 19) came from ... so, I'm not even gonna ask! Smile

And yes, it would hamper - but not severely, though ... 'cause where there's a will there is ALWAYS a way! And I suppose minor adjustments would need to be made. Big Grin

I would hate being kicked out of The Den .. however, it would be worth whatever disappointment I might suffer to be able to give the fellas a place to call their own.

(Both here and in real life) They always seem to be on the losing end of that stick. sck


thanks
kiss

Your POV Ebony is the reason why you will never, ever lose out on chatting up the brothers.
Big Grin Big Grin

@ NS ... I just read the "Members Voices" thread ... so, thanks .... I think! Smile



@ the Fellas .... ... now, y'all know you're not supposed to like me in public! Eek Big Grin

Keep that up and I'll be banished from The Sista's Spot, too! ek laugh

And @ VOX ...

quote:
Originally posted by Vox:
I just did a search. I post equally in the Den and the Sista's Spot. Den outnumbers SS, but only slightly. A gender ban would thus interfere with my experience on the site.

Plus it would put an imprimatur on the gender schism we witness here sometimes. I'm not for it.


Now how did I just know that this would be your response?? 19 Smile

I haven't checked, but ... I think if you were to look up the term "irreconcilable differences" ... the definition would have to include a picture of me and you there! Eek

But, of course, I luv you anyway! kiss
Originally posted by LieDecrypter
quote:
For starters lets get something straight I'm addressing this from a completely honest and purely MASCULINE perspective...So I know I may say some things that from a womens perspective she may not be able to fully relate to... Anyway just accept what I'm saying in the spirit in which it's given which is only to inform. There are some fundamental things about Men that women need to understand... one being that we are VISUAL when it comes to sexuality and what that means. This is not about choice with regard to what we are stimulated by it is purely PYSIOLOGICAL ...when a man see's an attractive women actual bio chemical processes are triggered this is NATURAL. This is the driving force which motivates Men to even pursue women in the first place which consequently keeps the human race going...it's just as natural as the womans desire and drive to give birth. Women can no more understand this aspect of men as men can understand why women would seek to be impregnated carry a child for nine months and then have it pulled from her body...in some cases multiple times. To the Masculine mind the idea of this type of thing happening to our bodies is Abhorrent...we are just not wired for such a thing. Now I'm not talking about effeminate punk men who want to be women their damn self ...I'm talking about REAL TESTOSTERONE DRIVEN MEN like myself.


fro

I appreciate your perspective Brotha LD. Always have. You continue to demonstrate your graciousness and respect for us womenfolk here on this board...time after time after time. I have noticed that regardless of the rage of debate between you and any woman poster, you STILL remain a gentlemen. As a mother of boys, I can tell that you are the protector in your family of womenfolk and appreciate the qualities women bring to the world. I can also tell that you don't play when it comes to the females in your family...I sense you are a Man's Man....this strength and chivalry unfolds perfectly here in such dignified elegance. That's a rarity to behold. Inexperienced "Boys" don't know what this is or what it means....but! A woman does.

Brotha LD, I totally get the visual part. I know most MEN are visual. And you're right it has something to do with the fact that women give birth and is WHY we are not so much directly in the visual side of men's persona as we are drawn to their character, intelllect and integrity. And the state of external beauty almost ALWAYS transforms sometimes in a form of oblivious and we women understand that dynamics....probably more than most men do. That doesn't mean that we don't look at men in a stimulating way...it's just different....but! We do LOOK and sometimes touch. But what most women are after....women-not whores/hoodrats or what we are interested in is what's going on inside of a man's heart/mind ...but! That's a scarry statement for the immature.

quote:
Of course which is why I shared the fact that I like looking at beautiful women to...however personally I prefer discretion and not just seeing women gyrating around which has become all to prevalent in this "video vixen" age which for the most part is objectifying women. To appreciate women you have to always be mindful that no matter how physically pleasing to the eye she is...she is a human being with an intellect, emotions and a soul... to the extent that some men lose sight of this allowing themselves to be blinded only by her physical is where part of the problem lies.


That's what I'm talking about my brotha! Having said that, some us women here on this board have grown accustom to the total impertinence some of these so-called "men" have in regards to us. We have to put on our gun holsters and be ready for battle when coming on this board-well at least I do. This is mainly because some men have come in our sista spot and spew absurdities to us when we were discussing issues close and dear to our souls....some times they try to either sabbotage the post itself or minimize the topic in a desperate effort to make a mockery out of our perspective. Yet on the other hand these SAME boys [they are not men to me] will exhibit their scum behavior during their observation of women in the Den-be it photo or discussion. When we defend our own honor, we are viciously attacked and debased and humiliated as if they [these men-oops I mean boys] do not have MOTHERS, or sisters or wives. It is as if they are harboring some sort of secret fury and resentment toward us..and are awaiting/itching at bay to lash out their personal "private hatred" on us in this very PUBLIC forum.

I am rarely in the den...no interestRoll Eyes However, I simply cannot allow "weak" men to say hurtful and disrespectful things about us when they know DAYUM well what they project is out of unsubstantial rage and stupidity i.e. the buck mentality. More importantly, I have sons...and if I ever heard one of them saying the disgusting things I hear from these lunatics here on this board about Black women...it will be more than SOAP in their mouths….and they know it. Under no circumstances will I tolerant it-I can't....it's just not in me. So I guess it's war when they start debasing, dehumanizing and "spewing" the unmentionable toward black women or children-merely for entertainment/sick amusement purposes-not on my watch! Black women and children have suffered enough in this country. And it's not over, I have to fight MASSA everyday to ensure that our youth receive what is rightful theirs-I am well prepared to fight weak little black boys who have the gawl to call themselves ""black" men. I raised boys to men. I know what it takes. These little younguns here on this board are NOT even close to having the goods....to be men.....nawl! Not even close. Cuz why? It's clear they have NOT been taught any better but most importantly: There. Is. No. Black. Unity. IN. THEIR. VEINS. They don't know what that is. You can easily tell by their disrespectful actions to the us-the women who represent the mothers who gave them LIFE. How arrogant is that?

BTW: I understand sexuality. It's a beautiful thing. But there's a place and time for everything. And you still can enjoy it while exercising "good" taste and being respectful. It's when it turns UGLY..then it's on. And I agree......it should be a locked site for both men and women...where one cannot enter unless invited......but! JMHO....is all.

fro
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Gender lockdown? Just because a couple of goofy ass females think its their duty to stick their noses up in a brother's thread and fuck it up just because they can? FUCK-THAT.

Y'all want to come up in a brother's thread and try to fuck it up because y'all are too childish to mind you own business when you obviously see the thread does not appeal to you?

I say ignore the fools. We tried to be nice and at least acknowledge your presence in the thread but from now on when we decide we want to showcase some fine ass sisters, no matter what their complexion is, then that's what we gonna do. Fuck your assinine, stank ass remarks and pointless attempts to guilt a brother into being ashamed of what is natural.
Look, ebony, you ain't even got to respond to this post. You ain't even gotta comment anymore in this thread. It doesn't matter whether you condone what the brothers do in the den or not. We're going to do what we want to do regardless. It doesn't matter whether other sisters in this thread condone what we do or not. We're going to do what we want to do regardless.

Now, if s dude comes up in the sister's spot and posts some sexy female pics that's one thing. But if we're minding our own business in our own thread and sisters want to come in there and complain, then fuck them.

Nothing should have to be off limits on a damn discussion board. People should just understand when they see something they don't like and realize what kind of thread they're in they need to turn around and find another thread to play around in.

If some sister posts a thread talking about new and improved tampons what the fuck am I going to waltz up in that thread for? Damn. COMMON SENSE, people. COMMON SENSE. I would look like an idiot trying to tell a group of females in their own forum to stop talking about tampons. And y'all females look stupid walking up in a man's thread in a man's forum that has the kind of title you obviously wouldn't be interested in just so you can start shit.

It's as if a plumber walked up in an operating room where some kind of highly sensitive surgery was going on and he got grossed out at the procedure. Regardless of what's going on in that operating room that plumber knows he's not supposed to have his ass up in there in the first place. Same deal where a female sees the title of a thread--something like 'sexy females thread'--but they walk up in there anyway trying to start shit. You know you don't need to have your ass up in there anyway. You know ain't shit going on in that thread that could possibly interest you, so what the fuck are you up in there? Because you want to start shit--plain and simple.

Ebony, just do you. Shit.
yeah (It happens, every now and then....)

Not only that, but it's logistically impossible to do. No such ban could have an effect unless the member is actually signed in, right?

While you're not signed in, you'd be able to read what's there. Then, you'd sign in, go to some part of the site you CAN post to, and post your complaint about what the men are saying in the Den, or the Sistas are saying in the Sista's spot. Other people would see THAT post wherever it's posted, and the argument would take place there.

Or, let's say I decide to start a thread in the Den bashing women. If I think women can't log in and rebut it, I might still try to piss them off by giving it an inflaming subject heading, like "These AA.Org Hoes Ain't Shit," since I know it'll show up on the portal page.

See, immaturity is a VERY difficult thing to prevent. Stamp it out in one place, it takes root in another. The key here is just to be mature enough to self-police. If someone can't resist disrupting, then ignore them.
quote:
Originally posted by LieDecrypter:
quote:
Originally posted by Khalliqa:
You do realize there is a difference between sexual objectification and appreciation right?


Of course which is why I shared the fact that I like looking at beautiful women to...however personally I prefer discretion and not just seeing women gyrating around which has become all to prevalent in this "video vixen" age which for the most part is objectifying women. To appreciate women you have to always be mindful that no matter how physically pleasing to the eye she is...she is a human being with an intellect, emotions and a soul... to the extent that some men lose sight of this allowing themselves to be blinded only by her physical is where part of the problem lies.


Ummm but I've been here for almost four years now and those who are truthful and have been here longer can attest that the den has RARELY been a place where women are respected..or any measure of enlightening conversation has taken place... The predominate threads (especially those popular threads completely removed from the Den and sent to the Big House! ) are about porn and how to pimp women.. So if the men are fighting for their right of privacy what they are fighting for is their right to privately objectify women.. because all they have displayed when left to their own conversations is the overwhelming ability to degrade women....

Also I used to not post in the Den at all until dudes started rolling up in Sistas Spot disrespecting all of us.. interesting none of the manly women objectifying males in this section said anything then... nor their male attention starved female cronies.. lol...

The retaliatory arguments in this thread are simply about the right to see porn and pimp articles,( calling this "manhood"), and requiring that no one take offense and say something about it...

and just like any strip club.. the females that are down with porn and pimps support their efforts...

quote:
Originally posted by Vox:
yeah (It happens, every now and then....)

Not only that, but it's logistically impossible to do. No such ban could have an effect unless the member is actually signed in, right?


Actually there are other discussion boards that have completely blocked off certain forums.. On these boards you have to have a password and board approval to access it.. (or have a number of postings before you're allowed even the password) In fact on one site you can't even see the forum unless you've been given access...

Remember MBM did this for a time for VIP members?? *sigh*

It can be done... but I just think there should be porn sites they can go to if it's really alladat.. If I recall correctly, in the past, even MBM has responded favorably to the female (well those females that don't like to be objectified) concern that many of the degrading threads were getting out of hand and incongruous with the supposed theme of the board..
quote:
Originally posted by Vox:
(It happens, every now and then....)


lol

I told you twice a day, Vox... Wink

quote:
Originally posted by Vox:
While you're not signed in, you'd be able to read what's there. Then, you'd sign in, go to some part of the site you CAN post to, and post your complaint about what the men are saying in the Den, or the Sistas are saying in the Sista's spot. Other people would see THAT post wherever it's posted, and the argument would take place there.


What you say will happen above, eventually will. But, imo, that's okay because the argument would NOT be taking place in the originating thread. The idea is to protect the originating thread or forum designed for a specific gender from getting hijacked. I fully support that.

So, if content in the Sista's Spot or the Den gets rehashed in a full access forum, that's fine - even if it is controversial and lands on the welcome page (if for no other reason, it draws new people to the site, which I think MBM would support).

People who post in the originating thread and who want to do so without discussion as to the merits of its contents can do so. They don't have to read or participate in the rehashed topic if they don't want to. That's where the self-policing comes in. Everyone wins; if they want to engage in value arguments, fine. If they don't, equally fine. But their choice is protected. Every party is protected and, everyone gets to do his or her own thang.

(shulamite, who says let people have their space to do them...)
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@ VOX and RB

You know ... what you both have said has been very ... oh, let's call it ... enlightening! And colorful. Eek

But .. let's face it, what y'all are talkin' about is some Disney World/Fantasyland, make-it-up-as-you-go-along, not remotely based in anything near reality, possibly delusional thinking! Eek

Because there are some people who are absolutely NOT going to (or more accurately, probably just CAN'T do it) ditch their immaturity and become conscientious and respect what to the rest of us are clear boundaries .. overnight!!

It's just not going to happen ... and the very reason that we're having this conversation RIGHT NOW should be (more than obvious) proof of that.

It is just totally and completely unrealistic to think that threads in both The Sisters Spot and here in The Den will NOT be hijacked by certain members of the opposite sex as long as the opportunity to do so is available! And it's also a trip through Wonderland to believe that once the offense has taken place, that that disruption will be ignored! The offender WILL get their 15 minutes of negative attention. And everybody else will be made miserable ... except them! sck

That is just the way that is .. and has always been. And to think that you can continue to do the same thing and expect a different result is ... well ... need I go on?

So rather than deal with what are essentially fantasies of the way things should or could be (but clearly are not ... and with no real possibility or indication that they ever will be), how about dealing with the reality of the situation as it really is.

The only way to ensure that The Den is reserved for male conversations and the same with The Sister's Spot for us women is to lock the other gender out from intrusion. And, as I said before, there are other areas of the board to have all the all-inclusive conversations you want.

So, either you want a place you can call your own ... or you don't. But you certainly won't have it by simply thinking that that's the way it ought to be.
We all learned the the simple solution to this "problem" somewhere about the 9th or 10th grade, when we began to make some sense out of human nature. The solution to womens coming up into the Den [or mens going into the Sistas Spot] with argumentative, castigating or insulting threads/posts is to simplylly and collectively ignore the offend. Eventually, the offender will ... after becoming more and more inflaming/outrageous, of course, go away because they aren't getting the attention that they seek.

Yes, this calls for self-discipline, but I thought being grown folk and having grown folk discussions is the point.

That said and completely off, I noticed something in this thread ... 19 I noticed that those womens that are up in here advocating for Mens' Space and also those womens that appear to have no problem breaking lock step with other women folk ... they just don't seem to feel the need for promoting gender solidarity on every issue. In other words, they are in touch with their Masculine Nature.
quote:
@ VOX and RB

You know ... what you both have said has been very ... oh, let's call it ... enlightening! And colorful.

But .. let's face it, what y'all are talkin' about is some Disney World/Fantasyland, make-it-up-as-you-go-along, not remotely based in anything near reality, possibly delusional thinking!

Because there are some people who are absolutely NOT going to (or more accurately, probably just CAN'T do it) ditch their immaturity and become conscientious and respect what to the rest of us are clear boundaries .. overnight!!

It's just not going to happen ... and the very reason that we're having this conversation RIGHT NOW should be (more than obvious) proof of that.


You didn't actually think I was advocating for a solution did you, Ebony? Come on, now. You know me better than that. I was just offering some examples--an alternative approach to dealing with the situation.

In reality I know some of these goofy ass women will continue to periodically use a thread to make one of their patented 'rebel without a clue' speeches like they think we men are going to pack our shit and go stick our noses in a corner.

I really don't give a fuck.

They will eventually leave like every other asshole that has done so in the past and slide around in some ultra militant, anti-nonblack, fascist, conspiracy theory-breeding, bigotted, separatist discussion board where they will live happily ever after interacting on a one-dimensional discussion board.
quote:
Originally posted by Kweli4Real:
I noticed that those womens that are up in here advocating for Mens' Space and also those womens that appear to have no problem breaking lock step with other women folk ... they just don't seem to feel the need for promoting gender solidarity on every issue. In other words, they are in touch with their Masculine Nature.


Thanks. I take this as a compliment - and I take the concept seriously. You (men) make up 50% of my world's population. It behooves me to understand and respect the way you (men) experience life. It's arrogant of me to do otherwise (and likewise, men --> women).
quote:
Originally posted by EbonyRose:
@ VOX and RB

You know ... what you both have said has been very ... oh, let's call it ... enlightening! And colorful. Eek

But .. let's face it, what y'all are talkin' about is some Disney World/Fantasyland, make-it-up-as-you-go-along, not remotely based in anything near reality, possibly delusional thinking! Eek
I think you may be missing the point -- actually, I don't think I actually tried to make this point before, but my basic view is this: If something happens in a message board that we don't like, it's really not all that important. You may be completely correct, that someone will come and disrupt the other gender's thread. But does it really matter? At the end of the day, do we really care????

If RadioRaheem posts pics of a Brazilian carnival queen, and a couple of female members post about how tasteless and objectifying they think it is, trust me: it in no way hampers my enjoyment of the pictures (and btw..OMG eyes ).

Now if Khalliqa had found a way to actually get her comments superimposed OVER the pix, THEN we'd need to take action!! karate

But if I ALREADY KNOW that that sentiment exists out there in the world, it does nothing to me to see it expressed within the thread. All of this exasperation, and talk about banning women from the Den & vice versa, is much ado about very little, IMO.

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