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quote:
Originally posted by Black Viking:
I see... so that's my problem!

I'm 5,000 miles away from where all the single women are!

*packs bags*


LOL...

BV, back when u had your photo as your avatar, I had more than one experience of browsing the site in the presence of young ladies who took sharp notice of your avatar and had very good things to say...

To my credit, I didn't even hate on you. I could've raised doubts that that was your photo, or been like, "Well, um... I'm... I'm fine too, right? And plus, like, smart and stuff... Frown"
lol

So with these stats as backup, it appears that the Northern NJ/NYC area has the potential to be a pretty BV-friendly place ... Just an FYI...
You're missing some of the finer details though. Like how many of those men in southern california for instance are even straight? Just because theres more single men in one place doesnt mean that they are more likely to want to get married. maybe they're single for a reason. maybe they like to be single. so if you are looking for a mate, going there wouldn't really help, now would it? just some thoughts. we are all where god intended for us to be. he has someone chosen for each of us, and he lends us the opporotunities to find that person. we just have to keep our eyes and hearts open.
This is just my personal experience but the sisters I've dated from the Memphis area are ghetto as hell. No class, no style, no substance. However, in my experience with NY/NJ females I won't say they're necessarily any better hoodrat wise but they at least try to front some semblance of class and style. But if you really, really want to know where the real sisters are go to Philly. I haven't dated a Philly sister yet that didn't know how to treat a brother. New Jersey chicks are pretty cool but don't make good wifey material in my opinion. The sisters with true class and style are in Long Island.
quote:
Originally posted by little minx:
You're missing some of the finer details though. Like how many of those men in southern california for instance are even straight? Just because theres more single men in one place doesnt mean that they are more likely to want to get married. maybe they're single for a reason. maybe they like to be single. so if you are looking for a mate, going there wouldn't really help, now would it? just some thoughts. we are all where god intended for us to be. he has someone chosen for each of us, and he lends us the opporotunities to find that person. we just have to keep our eyes and hearts open.


Some of the finer details are missing from those statistics from an eligible bachelor point of view also--like the number of females that are overweight, the number of females that have emotional/psychological problems, the number of females that have three or more kids that no dude in his right damn mind would want to get himself into that has never been married or never had kids of his own before, and the number of lesbians that are on the rise.
quote:
Originally posted by Vox:
BV, back when u had your photo as your avatar, I had more than one experience of browsing the site in the presence of young ladies who took sharp notice of your avatar and had very good things to say...

To my credit, I didn't even hate on you. I could've raised doubts that that was your photo, or been like, "Well, um... I'm... I'm fine too, right? And plus, like, smart and stuff... Frown"
lol

So with these stats as backup, it appears that the Northern NJ/NYC area has the potential to be a pretty BV-friendly place ... Just an FYI...

laugh
Dawg got my back! tfro

But the real question is... are the honeys hotter further east??? lol
quote:
Originally posted by Black Viking:
quote:
Originally posted by Vox:
BV, back when u had your photo as your avatar, I had more than one experience of browsing the site in the presence of young ladies who took sharp notice of your avatar and had very good things to say...

To my credit, I didn't even hate on you. I could've raised doubts that that was your photo, or been like, "Well, um... I'm... I'm fine too, right? And plus, like, smart and stuff... Frown"
lol

So with these stats as backup, it appears that the Northern NJ/NYC area has the potential to be a pretty BV-friendly place ... Just an FYI...

laugh
Dawg got my back! tfro

But the real question is... are the honeys hotter further east??? lol


I didn't see the photo... BV, can you repost it?
quote:
Actually, stupid lives everywhere, just like good lives everywhere. It doesn't matter where you move to "find love." If it is meant for you, you will find it wherever you are. It isn't about location; it is about opting to be compatible with someone.


That so true. I lived in Cleveland, OH ... 50% Black population/62% Black female population and had several toxic relationships. I moved to Tucson, AZ ... 3% Black population 40% Black female population and am in the 9th year of a relationship.

"Wherever you go, you take you with you." I'm finding in life's challenges that it's really more about you than them.
quote:
Originally posted by Shayabuther:

If it is meant for you, you will find it wherever you are. It isn't about location; it is about opting to be compatible with someone.


You ain't neva, eva lied. This is especially true when you're a pluralist, multi-cultural dude like me--ya just can't go wrong. Hell, the woman I'm currently dating right now ran up on me after I had dosed off from drinking several Mojitoes, a Corona, and a Long Island Iced tea at the club down in Fort Lauderdale:



That chart wasn't lying about there being more women than men in Ft. Lauderdale area. They ain't playin' at Cafe Iguana Pines in Hollywood, FL.





It's 10 to 1 in favor of dudes up in that joint.
quote:
Originally posted by negrospiritual:
quote:
Originally posted by THEBIGDODDY:
I'd say there are likely proportionately more hoodrats in Memphis than there are in NY/NJ combined.



i think this isn't accurate. What memphis is full of is country women.


We men use this same terminology, negrospiritual, except when we call a woman (or anyone for that matter) "country", particularly, in the South, we mean that woman is ignorant, tacky, easily intimidated/offended, narrow-minded, unexposed, etc.

Back in the day older people used to tell brothers: "Go find yourself a good ole' country woman" because they knew how to take care of a man. They knew how to cook, raise children, stick next to their man, etc. Nowadays many sisters don't do that. And I'm not talking (just) about single mothers. I'm talking about single, independent women that can't cook, they're nasty, cheap, have misplaced priorities, and are too focused on right now instead of the future.

When I say focused on right now, these country ass sisters are too busy looking for attention, trying to find the cheapest ass fashion knock offs, and chasing after well-known, easily identifiable players, pimps, and dogs while overlooking or ignoring brothers of substance.

I'd be richer than Bill Gates if I had a penny for every woman that has cried the blues about spending several years with a guy they know is no damn good. And that wasted time can be attributed to being "country".
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
Im on the wrong coast.... Frown


Sad, just sad.


So, instead of being around a bunch of broke ass, uneducated, country, narrow-minded, ex-con, child support-evading clowns like what they have here in Florida, you'd rather be on the East coast with the closet homosexual, broke ass, child support evading, ex-con, recently released from the sanitarium, hoopty-driving clowns like in the L.A. area. 20
quote:
Originally posted by Romulus Burnett:
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
Im on the wrong coast.... Frown


Sad, just sad.


So, instead of being around a bunch of broke ass, uneducated, country, narrow-minded, ex-con, child support-evading clowns like what they have here in Florida, you'd rather be on the East coast with the closet homosexual, broke ass, child support evading, ex-con, recently released from the sanitarium, hoopty-driving clowns like in the L.A. area. 20



I read this.....and starting laughing, but then thought about it........and starting crying. LOL sck
quote:
So, instead of being around a bunch of broke ass, uneducated, country, narrow-minded, ex-con, child support-evading clowns like what they have here in Florida, you'd rather be on the East coast with the closet homosexual, broke ass, child support evading, ex-con, recently released from the sanitarium, hoopty-driving clowns like in the L.A. area.


Huh?
quote:
Originally posted by Kweli4Real:
quote:
So, instead of being around a bunch of broke ass, uneducated, country, narrow-minded, ex-con, child support-evading clowns like what they have here in Florida, you'd rather be on the East coast with the closet homosexual, broke ass, child support evading, ex-con, recently released from the sanitarium, hoopty-driving clowns like in the L.A. area.


Huh?

laugh
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
Im on the wrong coast.... Frown


Sad, just sad.


You're not on the wrong coast. You just keep giving the wrong negroes too much opportunity, then when you get disappointed all of us brothers pay the price for their low class, no hometraining, tactless, self-absorbed, insensitive actions.

I just had a long conversation with a co-worker of mine--a beautiful sister who made the mistake of sizing me up before she got to know me. I confronted her about her rudeness--ignoring me when I would speak in passing her in the hallway. At first she responded by saying: "I didn't know you then", which is a lame ass excuse and no reason to be rude to a fellow co-worker. When other co-workers chimed in telling her how cool and layed back I am she finally decided to tell the truth saying she was just tired of being lied to.

After further conversation she warmed up completely to me. We exchanged numbers and we're going out Friday after work for a few drinks. But the point is, she wasted months of time giving me the cold shoulder because of what some other dude(s) did to her. I said all that to say this: You can give a brother a chance without having to put all of your trust into him. That way if he turns out to be a lame duck you can move on without feeling like you've been betrayed or having wasted your time.

Too many sisters invest too much emotional energy into forecasting what their lives would be like with dudes before they get to know them--too much opportunity to be set up for disappointment. Then there's the fine line between setting yourself up for disappointment accidently and purposefully setting yourself up for disappointment to justify not changing your strategy in how you interact with brothers and/or re-evaluating what you feel are the most important traits in relation to accomodating ones weaknesses and shortcomings.

Too many sisters either waste their time waiting for brothers to straighten up on their own or expect brothers to simply read their minds and figure out how to be accomidating of their various differences on their own when all they have to do is just let brothers know what they will accept and not accept. If a brother isn't hearing what you have to say a sister has to be strong enough to release that brother instead of just putting up with his undesirable behavior. I'm willing to bet a lot of brothers would straighten up if sisters simply stood their ground instead of letting these dudes run all over them.
Last edited {1}
quote:
Originally posted by Romulus Burnett:
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
Im on the wrong coast.... Frown


Sad, just sad.


You're not on the wrong coast. You just keep giving the wrong negroes too much opportunity, then when you get disappointed all of us brothers pay the price for their low class, no hometraining, tactless, self-absorbed, insensitive actions.

I just had a long conversation with a co-worker of mine--a beautiful sister who made the mistake of sizing me up before she got to know me. I confronted her about her rudeness--ignoring me when I would speak in passing her in the hallway. At first she responded by saying: "I didn't know you then", which is a lame ass excuse and no reason to be rude to a fellow co-worker. When other co-workers chimed in telling her how cool and layed back I am she finally decided to tell the truth saying she was just tired of being lied to.

After further conversation she warmed up completely to me. We exchanged numbers and we're going out Friday after work for a few drinks. But the point is, she wasted months of time giving me the cold shoulder because of what some other dude(s) did to her. I said all that to say this: You can give a brother a chance without having to put all of your trust into him. That way if he turns out to be a lame duck you can move on without feeling like you've been betrayed or having wasted your time.

Too many sisters invest too much emotional energy into forecasting what their lives would be like with dudes before they get to know them--too much opportunity to be set up for disappointment. Then there's the fine line between setting yourself up for disappointment accidently and purposefully setting yourself up for disappointment to justify not changing your strategy in how you interact with brothers and/or re-evaluating what you feel are the most important traits in relation to accomodating ones weaknesses and shortcomings.

Too many sisters either waste their time waiting for brothers to straighten up on their own or expect brothers to simply read their minds and figure out how to be accomidating of their various differences on their own when all they have to do is just let brothers know what they will accept and not accept. If a brother isn't hearing what you have to say a sister has to be strong enough to release that brother instead of just putting up with his undesirable behavior. I'm willing to bet a lot of brothers would straighten up if sisters simply stood their ground instead of letting these dudes run all over them.



I cant disagree with what you've said here.

I think for the most part, a lot of women try to make the best decisions, when picking a decent man. A lot of us, have been disappointed, so sizing up a man.....is natural. What else are we to do?

I dont think its a negative thing.......as long as rudeness doesnt occur.

Although i've made some good decisions (because of sizing up a man), there have been a few bad ones, that slipped through. I've given a few brothas too many chances.......and i should've walked away.

Im not too sure, if im that, emotional....as much as i try to resolve problems/issues, that would cause the relationship/friendship to fail. I try to make it work.

I dont think thats negative either.

Its a big problem, when a woman, refuse to let a man go.......knowing the relationship is doomed.

If i think theres nothing that can be done and i've had enough.........i kick his azz to the curb.

Anyway.....how did the date go? Smile
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
quote:
Originally posted by Romulus Burnett:
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
Im on the wrong coast.... Frown


Sad, just sad.


You're not on the wrong coast. You just keep giving the wrong negroes too much opportunity, then when you get disappointed all of us brothers pay the price for their low class, no hometraining, tactless, self-absorbed, insensitive actions.

I just had a long conversation with a co-worker of mine--a beautiful sister who made the mistake of sizing me up before she got to know me. I confronted her about her rudeness--ignoring me when I would speak in passing her in the hallway. At first she responded by saying: "I didn't know you then", which is a lame ass excuse and no reason to be rude to a fellow co-worker. When other co-workers chimed in telling her how cool and layed back I am she finally decided to tell the truth saying she was just tired of being lied to.

After further conversation she warmed up completely to me. We exchanged numbers and we're going out Friday after work for a few drinks. But the point is, she wasted months of time giving me the cold shoulder because of what some other dude(s) did to her. I said all that to say this: You can give a brother a chance without having to put all of your trust into him. That way if he turns out to be a lame duck you can move on without feeling like you've been betrayed or having wasted your time.

Too many sisters invest too much emotional energy into forecasting what their lives would be like with dudes before they get to know them--too much opportunity to be set up for disappointment. Then there's the fine line between setting yourself up for disappointment accidently and purposefully setting yourself up for disappointment to justify not changing your strategy in how you interact with brothers and/or re-evaluating what you feel are the most important traits in relation to accomodating ones weaknesses and shortcomings.

Too many sisters either waste their time waiting for brothers to straighten up on their own or expect brothers to simply read their minds and figure out how to be accomidating of their various differences on their own when all they have to do is just let brothers know what they will accept and not accept. If a brother isn't hearing what you have to say a sister has to be strong enough to release that brother instead of just putting up with his undesirable behavior. I'm willing to bet a lot of brothers would straighten up if sisters simply stood their ground instead of letting these dudes run all over them.



I cant disagree with what you've said here.

I think for the most part, a lot of women try to make the best decisions, when picking a decent man. A lot of us, have been disappointed, so sizing up a man.....is natural. What else are we to do?

I dont think its a negative thing.......as long as rudeness doesnt occur.

Although i've made some good decisions (because of sizing up a man), there have been a few bad ones, that slipped through. I've given a few brothas too many chances.......and i should've walked away.

Im not too sure, if im that, emotional....as much as i try to resolve problems/issues, that would cause the relationship/friendship to fail. I try to make it work.

I dont think thats negative either.

Its a big problem, when a woman, refuse to let a man go.......knowing the relationship is doomed.

If i think theres nothing that can be done and i've had enough.........i kick his azz to the curb.

Anyway.....how did the date go? Smile


The date didn't go yet. I'm still at work. But we're going out tonight. She even wore this pretty little dress to work yesterday. It wouldn't have been so unusual except she almost always comes to work dressed kind of tomboyish.

It's okay to decipher what kind of character a dude has after you've observed his behavior patterns but to prematurally judge a guy, which is what some sisters do, before you get to know him is wrong.

Let's just get past the usual garbage where you're interacting with the kind of guy that gives the obvious signals that he's a waste of time i.e. poor hometraining, cheap, immature, insensitive etc. or when a sister assumes a guy is a 'player' or a 'pretty boy' or 'only into white women' because he may look, speak or dress a certain way.

I'm talking about judging a guy by his actions--not by what he says or by how he looks but his actions. How he treats you, how he spends time with you, and how he priorities you in his life. It's easy to spot game. What's important is to come correct from the beginning.

I've noticed since being down here that it's very popular to have a significant other and still be on the prowl. I have to tell these sisters, straight up, that I don't play that shit. You'd be surprised how many women come clean and tell me the truth about whatever their "situation" is, then you have others that just inconspicuously disappear because they know their game will get quickly peeped.

I understand what you're saying about making mistakes. I've let a few slip through the cracks too but I still make an effort to give each new love interest I meet a clean slate. I've always made an effort to try to be the voice of reason in a relationship. But I also learned in doing so not to stick my neck out so far that I feel like I'm going around in circles while she is sitting there making little or no effort.
quote:
Anyway.....how did the date go?


The date went well. We talked and laughed all night. Unfortunately there was no chemistry. There was too much of a 'kid sister' vibe eminating from her.

I'm going out tonight with another beautiful woman I met through a collegue. A Trini sister by way of Boston. Lots of chemistry there.

But while I'm on the topic of women, which correlates with the topic of this thread: From years of observation I've reached the conclusion that a lot of sisters choose brothers who they think other sisters would approve of rather than brothers that would be best suited to their wants and needs.

He may be 'tall, dark, and handsome' laden with whatever popular fashion accessories i.e. locs, corn rows, tattoos, and wearing the latest urban gear but is he the right man for you?

Yes, I've witnessed various women that were friends of the family that fell for the 'ideal black man template' sisters have formulated. They married these dudes regardless of their lack of or non-existent credentials or employment. And, yes, 9 out of 10 of those marriages ended in divorce or separation. I'm not saying sisters should go after ugly duckling-looking brothers with no personality. I'm just saying give the brothers that wouldn't normally fit that narrow criteria a second look. Just a little something for the ladies to chew on while they're engaged in their pursuits of happiness.
quote:
Originally posted by Romulus Burnett:

I've noticed since being down here that it's very popular to have a significant other and still be on the prowl.



Interesting........i thought it was just me, that noticed this.

The harsh part is, because this happens so much down here, i assume a man is with someone, unless he can prove otherwise.

That takes the fun out of dating.
quote:
Originally posted by Romulus Burnett:

But while I'm on the topic of women, which correlates with the topic of this thread: From years of observation I've reached the conclusion that a lot of sisters choose brothers who they think other sisters would approve of rather than brothers that would be best suited to their wants and needs.



To tell the truth..........i see this happening more with the brothas, than sistas.

(Or maybe i pay attention to this, because this happens to me)

Usually men/man that im dating, etc......will take me around his friends, to get a stamp of approval.

As im dating more........im really starting to realize, that its not going to be easy, and im realizing why so many people are annoyed with the dating process.
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
quote:
Originally posted by Romulus Burnett:

But while I'm on the topic of women, which correlates with the topic of this thread: From years of observation I've reached the conclusion that a lot of sisters choose brothers who they think other sisters would approve of rather than brothers that would be best suited to their wants and needs.



To tell the truth..........i see this happening more with the brothas, than sistas.

(Or maybe i pay attention to this, because this happens to me)

Usually men/man that im dating, etc......will take me around his friends, to get a stamp of approval.


20

You see, it's different with brothers. When brothers flaunt a beautiful woman around their male friends (which is stupid as hell in my opinion) it's more like just proving to the guys that he has the game to pull a sexy woman. Whether the relationship is long lasting or not or if there's a relationship at all is irrelevent. Yeah, I know it's ignorant but that's how dumbass, short-sighted dudes think. But with women their goal is to not only keep the dudes they're flaunting their goal is to marry these dudes and either put up with as much bullshit as possible in the process of courtship or hen peck the dude to death so they can take the credit for polishing his rough edges: "When I met him he didn't even know how to come out of the rain. Now he can balance his check book, take out the trash without me asking him, and massage my feet when I'm tired!!"
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
quote:
Originally posted by Romulus Burnett:

I've noticed since being down here that it's very popular to have a significant other and still be on the prowl.



Interesting........i thought it was just me, that noticed this.

The harsh part is, because this happens so much down here, i assume a man is with someone, unless he can prove otherwise.

That takes the fun out of dating.


I make it a rule of thumb to intensely interview a woman I'm interested in, in order to minimize the amount of time wasted in getting to know her.

I use a series of tactics that are crafted to keep her off balance and uncomfortable yet intrigued so as not to be monotonous or too conspicuous. If she's smart she'll tell me what I need to know about her as well as find out what she needs to know about me.

If she's dumb, self absorbed or a drama queen (or all of the above) she'll tell me her life story as well as all kinds of pointless, egotistical garbage like how many dudes want her or how long it took her to get rid of her last ex-boyfriend, and petty garbage like details of her boring day at work and how much her feet hurt.

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