Did you know I was a family attorney when you started to talk about what the law is.... Guess not but let's deal with the merits shall we.
quote:
Originally posted by Shango67:
1) The "Tender Years Doctorine" is not gone... it is there in spirit... and most definately practiced. And their are PLENTY of men who fight for custody - epecially in divorce cases.
(a)I must disagree, and since I am admitted in NY I know for a fact that it is not there. Most of my clients are men, all who have listened to me have gotten joint physical custody of thier children. Especially in divorce.
2) What Black man isn't afraid to go into court and speak - especially in FAMILY COURT? An how many brothers can afford legal counsel?
(b)If he had acted first he would not be afraid, most men go to Family Court as the defendant, and thus need to defend themselves, since 45% of my clients are Black men, and the run the gamut of professions from the guy who put your bags on the airplane to attorneys, money is not the issue, it is the willingness to spend money that is the issue.
3) I had to fight for my son for two and half years in an attempt to rescue him from a potentially serious situation, so I don't have to consult Gambit. The court was all in my ass. They wanted W2 forms, old and current tax returns, pay stubs, college transcripts, bank account records, lease agreement, and everything else. Also, the court appointed an investigator who came to my home, whenever she wanted, to inspect my property. COUNTLESS visits from the Law Guardian (the attorney appointed by the court who acts in the best interest of the child). The court even sends people to your place of employment to interview co-workers and management. "Have you ever seen Mr. Shango get angry? Does he drink or do drugs? How is his overall deameanor? Does he socialize outside of work? Have you been to his home? Is he competent in his job?" And let's not forget the five different psychological exams conducted by an array of mental health professionals - only then to submit a report to the judge based upon a 30 minute session.
(c) I have worked with Law Guardian before, in both cases I represented women who were the defendant, both left the kid with the father when they split for various reasons. You should have asked for another one if it was a 30 minute interview, my Law Guardians met with everybody multiple times, but this was Long Island. My point, status quo is the word of the day in Family Court. If you left your son with his shakie moma then that was status quo you need to prove that the kid was in danger, not just with her and she was crazy, but that her craziness was a danger to the kid.
I did win... not on my merit, but on the fact that the process broke her down and she refused to attend the trial. A year later she appealed. The first process busted the bank and I had to write the appeal myself (appeal lawyers are more expensive than trail attorneys. I spent days and nights searching Westlaw and Lexis - looking up cases, answering legal questions put to me in her attorney's application. The cost for transcripts alone were outrageous. And to top it off... the appellate court assigned her an appellate lawyer for FREE. Then I had to travel to Albany to defend myself, in front of the appellate panet, against her attorney who does this shit for a living.
(d) Yes, she is entitled to an attorney for free in NY because unlike NJ [where you each have to pay for counsel unless it is a termination of parental rights case, then you get the appointment of counsel] but that is changing, poverty is not a factor in deciding custody,
4) Nikcara... Black men who get custody of their children is not the norm. And it certainly isn't wise to take a child from a mother absent a court order, under the pretense of thinking it will go over well with the police department or the judge in family court. This is still a white only nation and Black men pulling that kind of jack move will head toward a criminal charge and start you off on the wrong foot with the family court judge.
(d)If the kid lives with you and the mom and you leave, why could you not take your kid? The police only give the kid to the person who has the Court Order, aka paper. If there is no paper how do the police pick one parent over the other. Women leave and take the kids all the time, I had a client whose ex-wife left with the kids, sons no less, I got him full custody....anyway.... Oh, and thanks for saying that appeal attorneys are more expensive than trial attorneys
, are you reading this VOX!
I am a trial attorney by the way and we do think differently and have different skills. Anyway, I disagree, my clients get their kids, normally 50/50 custody, maybe you had the wrong attorney..... When I sit in court, I listen to men giving away thier kids all the time. They left the kid with the mother and now status quo is that the kid stays with the mom, unless you can show out right detriment you are not getting 100% custody. That is rare for men, and I will agree to that, but if he is normal and she is normal, both are entitled and I regularly obtain, join physical and legal for my clients, so I disagree with you on what is the norm. Maybe 10 years ago yes, but now shared parenting has been proven to be best for the kids, and they are what should be the focus of the parents and are the focus of the courts.
Half of Black men are unemployed and almost 30% are in prison, but the only advice given is that women should take better advantage of contraceptives and abortions?! Is that a joke?? But "it's not about placing blame," right? I've yet to see a single man say anything to the high number of total wastes of space running around knocking up women left and right. But everybody and their mama has something to say about what sistas should do. Shut up. And some women fall right into that trap and buy into this junk. Blaming their own damn selves because a brotha took off. As usual. Jesus. 
