Skip to main content

The African American Motherhood Problem

The statistics about black men in America are well established with respect to heightened anti-social behaviors including greater incarceration, lower school graduation, etc., and in particular increasing rates of black men not directly raising their children.

Since there seems to be a serious problem with black men, and since many/most of these black men are growing up in homes parented just by black women - do the problems with black men really come from a crisis of African American motherhood? Are black women failing their children? Are they not preparing their boys to be men? Are they not preparing their girls to be mothers? Would African America really be much better off if black women got their "stuff" together? Confused

What do you think?

© MBM

Original Post

Replies sorted oldest to newest

I think, by and large, Black women are doing the best they can for the following reasons:

1. Black men have not stepped up to meet the familial leadership roles we are supposed to hold.

2.(as to raising boys) Women (most anyway) do the best they can given that they can never raise a boy to manhood. They can certainly be the best mother they can be, but they can't take a boy to manhood. That takes a man. As much as I love my daughters, I can't teach them to be women. I can talk about what traits/characteristics good women have, but it takes their mother to lead them down that path.

So no, I wouldn't say the sista's are "failing." If anything, it's a community failing, with us as men leading (or not leading as the case may be) the way.
I think there are a ton of issues in this. And, no, it wouldn't all be fixed if only we women learned how to get our act together or what ever that means.

On this board alone we can see that there are some issues where men and women are not seeing eye-to-eye, lol.

So single-parenting a daughter is hard, but I assume there are some extra hurdles with a son.

A woman can try all she can while raising her boy alone and still have it hard in preparing him to be a man. Especially since we don't have the experience of all the steps between boyhood to manhood.

The quotes, "It takes a village to raise a child," and Jill Scott's, "I can teach him how to walk and stand, but I need you to help him be a man" sum up the things that are more than just a mother can give.
quote:
A woman can try all she can while raising her boy alone and still have it hard in preparing him to be a man. Especially since we don't have the experience of all the steps between boyhood to manhood.


That of course raises the question of what a MAN is?

Suppose matriarchal and patriarchal cultures have different concepts of MAN and they are both obsolete.

I walked passed a boy about 9 years old yeaterday using a butcher knife to cut the derailure cable off his bicycle. It was tangled up in the gears. I asked him if he had wrench because he needed that to take the wheel off to actually fix it. What do you think understanding how things work and being able to fix them does for a boys self-esteem?

How many mothers will get a kid a bike and some tools?

umbra
quote:
Originally posted by umbrarchist:
How many mothers will get a kid a bike and some tools?


If that's what a woman can do to make a man, my mom had something going on.

The apartment was packed with tools and my mom would collect broken electronics (mostly radios) to put them to use.

My pops can't fix a like and probably never had his own screwdriver.
quote:
Originally posted by MBM:
The African American Motherhood Problem

The statistics about black men in America are well established with respect to heightened anti-social behaviors including greater incarceration, lower school graduation, etc., and in particular increasing rates of black men not directly raising their children.

Since there seems to be a serious problem with black men, and since many/most of these black men are growing up in homes parented just by black women - do the problems with black men really come from a crisis of African American motherhood? Are black women failing their children? Are they not preparing their boys to be men? Are they not preparing their girls to be mothers? Would African America really be much better off if black women got their "stuff" together? Confused

What do you think?

I am gonna venture out on a limb and it will surely break off. But I think Black women get a whole lot of credit for raising kids as a single parent but not enough scrutiny when the wheels fall off the bus. The jails are full of brothers raised by women, special ed classrooms are full of young brothers who are being raised by women, and a whole lot of boys are wearing pink, enrolled in dance classes, dressed up like doll babies and entering manhood completely confused, who were raised by women.

There is not a day that goes by when I don't see a young Black woman, dragging a little boy and saying something like, "come on JeDonte! You walk so damn slow. You are just like your broke ass father!" Black women are played for fools on morning talk shows. "I am sure he is the daddy... look at his nose! And he has his eyes. I wasn't messing with anyone but you!" And then you hear, "in the case of 4 year old Allaze... Daryll you are NOT the baby's father."

Maybe things would be workable if these types of sistas just had ONE baby from ONE dude... I don't understand four, five, and six all from different and unproductive Black men. Can there be some type of responsibility for breeding for the sake of breeding?

And in the cases where the father wants custody of his child, our women don't allow it. They run to the nearest family court and opt for child support, instead of giving the man the opportunity to raise is son or daughter. There is absolutely no scrutiny for the Black woman who PREVENTS visitation and access for reasons other than abuse. And by the by, may the Almighty have mercy on a man who finds another mate and the mother of his child gets wind of it - ALL HELL BREAKS OUT!

It seems to me that Black women are just WITH the kids, not raising them.
quote:
Originally posted by Shango67:
quote:
Originally posted by MBM:
The African American Motherhood Problem

The statistics about black men in America are well established with respect to heightened anti-social behaviors including greater incarceration, lower school graduation, etc., and in particular increasing rates of black men not directly raising their children.

Since there seems to be a serious problem with black men, and since many/most of these black men are growing up in homes parented just by black women - do the problems with black men really come from a crisis of African American motherhood? Are black women failing their children? Are they not preparing their boys to be men? Are they not preparing their girls to be mothers? Would African America really be much better off if black women got their "stuff" together? Confused

What do you think?

I am gonna venture out on a limb and it will surely break off. But I think Black women get a whole lot of credit for raising kids as a single parent but not enough scrutiny when the wheels fall off the bus. The jails are full of brothers raised by women, special ed classrooms are full of young brothers who are being raised by women, and a whole lot of boys are wearing pink, enrolled in dance classes, dressed up like doll babies and entering manhood completely confused, who were raised by women.

There is not a day that goes by when I don't see a young Black woman, dragging a little boy and saying something like, "come on JeDonte! You walk so damn slow. You are just like your broke ass father!" Black women are played for fools on morning talk shows. "I am sure he is the daddy... look at his nose! And he has his eyes. I wasn't messing with anyone but you!" And then you hear, "in the case of 4 year old Allaze... Daryll you are NOT the baby's father."

Maybe things would be workable if these types of sistas just had ONE baby from ONE dude... I don't understand four, five, and six all from different and unproductive Black men. Can there be some type of responsibility for breeding for the sake of breeding?

And in the cases where the father wants custody of his child, our women don't allow it. They run to the nearest family court and opt for child support, instead of giving the man the opportunity to raise is son or daughter. There is absolutely no scrutiny for the Black woman who PREVENTS visitation and access for reasons other than abuse. And by the by, may the Almighty have mercy on a man who finds another mate and the mother of his child gets wind of it - ALL HELL BREAKS OUT!

It seems to me that Black women are just WITH the kids, not raising them.


munch

I got yo back, bro... I got yo back...
quote:
If that's what a woman can do to make a man, my mom had something going on.

My pops can't fix a like and probably never had his own screwdriver.


Now this makes me wonder why a woman that would see the value in tools and collect them would want a man that wasn't proficient with tools. Do you ever get the impression that Black women want men that are dependent on them but then complain about it?

The matriarchy must be maintained.

I've talked to White women that complain about other White women thinking that there is something great about men. Matriarchal and Patriarchal cultures are both based on psychological crap that is put into childrens heads. Black children get mixed signals because we are a matriarchal culture inside a dominant patriarchal culture. How do women trying to maintain a matriarchy teach their sons to cope with a patriarchy but accept a matriarchy?

An interesting tightrope you have to walk.

umbrarchist
quote:
Originally posted by umbrarchist:
Do you ever get the impression that Black women want men that are dependent on them but then complain about it?

The matriarchy must be maintained.

I've talked to White women that complain about other White women thinking that there is something great about men. Matriarchal and Patriarchal cultures are both based on psychological crap that is put into childrens heads. Black children get mixed signals because we are a matriarchal culture inside a dominant patriarchal culture. How do women trying to maintain a matriarchy teach their sons to cope with a patriarchy but accept a matriarchy?



I've always maintained that we don't have a true matriarchy. We do have female dominance in a patriarchal society. We have the paradox of females who enforce and maintain a patriarchal system.
As long as Black men are out there in La La Land with a thumb up their simple asses instead of raising their children, they need not say a good god damned thing about the parent who is actually on the scene doing the work. What the child is missing is a direct result of the worthless piece of shit who is not on the scene. That is where the buck stops and should continue to stop for all eternity. What a fucking nerve.

What kind of world is this where we say "Well, we all now that Black men are pretty much useless when it cmes to raising their children, so lets turn up the heat on the women who are playing both roles." HELL NAW!!! Put all that heat right back on those "antisocial" (what in the hell sort of excuse is that?!?) fathers to get back in the picture. Black women are KILLING themselves trying to do a woman's and a man's job not only with the kids, but in damn near ever single aspect of life. We have to do EVERYTHING these days! It is NOT okay to continue to let the Black man off the hook for every single fuck up (and there are oh so many). I cannot believe people are forming thier lips to criticize and let Black men entirely off the hook on some "it is what it is" type trash. The Crisis is Black men. The Crisis is their absense! The Crisis is the number of you that are worthless except for shooting sperm! Get yourselves together first before you start to talk smack about the parent who is actually doing something! If more of you would be MEN and not little punk ass BITCHES, we wouldn't need to have this discussion.

*Faints from the total audacity of the subject*
quote:
Originally posted by Frenchy:
As long as Black men are out there in La La Land with a thumb up their simple asses instead of raising their children, they need not say a good god damned thing about the parent who is actually on the scene doing the work. What the child is missing is a direct result of the worthless piece of shit who is not on the scene. That is where the buck stops and should continue to stop for all eternity. What a fucking nerve.

What kind of world is this where we say "Well, we all now that Black men are pretty much useless when it cmes to raising their children, so lets turn up the heat on the women who are playing both roles." HELL NAW!!! Put all that heat right back on those "antisocial" (what in the hell sort of excuse is that?!?) fathers to get back in the picture. Black women are KILLING themselves trying to do a woman's and a man's job not only with the kids, but in damn near ever single aspect of life. We have to do EVERYTHING these days! It is NOT okay to continue to let the Black man off the hook for every single fuck up (and there are oh so many). I cannot believe people are forming thier lips to criticize and let Black men entirely off the hook on some "it is what it is" type trash. The Crisis is Black men. The Crisis is their absense! The Crisis is the number of you that are worthless except for shooting sperm! Get yourselves together first before you start to talk smack about the parent who is actually doing something! If more of you would be MEN and not little punk ass BITCHES, we wouldn't need to have this discussion.

*Faints from the total audacity of the subject*



You don't want to play both roles?

THEN DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKING KIDS....

Or choose responsible men....

Why is it completely off the table to examine any type of female responsibility???
I swear EVERY single time the subject of black female responsibility for anything comes up, there walks in an army of 100 fuckin (female) Ph.D.s justifying every type of dysfunctional behavior and wack decision making... and let's not forget the chorus of female voices that shout your ass down... Oh HELL no... It's completely unreasonable to ask why someone has 5 kids by 5 different men...
Last edited {1}
quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:

You don't want to play both roles?

THEN DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKING KIDS....


Here's a better idea. You're not man enough to stay around and be a father? Stop FUCKING!! Stop getting involved with women and lying to them and pretending that you will stay around and then running for the hills when children arrive. Stop fucking at 12 and 13 years old. Stop fucking every god damned thing with a vagina. I could go on for days.

Black WOMEN aren't the ones running from responsibility. IT'S BLACK MEN!
quote:
Originally posted by Frenchy:
quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:

You don't want to play both roles?

THEN DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKING KIDS....


Here's a better idea. You're not man enough to stay around and be a father? Stop FUCKING!! Stop getting involved with women and lying to them and pretending that you will stay around and then running for the hills when children arrive. Stop fucking at 12 and 13 years old. Stop fucking every god damned thing with a vagina. I could go on for days.

Black WOMEN aren't the ones running from responsibility. IT'S BLACK MEN!



Frenchy, I DON'T HAVE ANY KIDS! Believe it or not, there are black men who take care of their shit.... and you know what?.... they're not being chosen over a lot of other black men who don't....

Black women, start choosing the fathers of your children responsibly. You have more choices than you admit to.
quote:
Originally posted by umbrarchist:
quote:
I've always maintained that we don't have a true matriarchy. We do have female dominance in a patriarchal society.


What about the existence of matriarchal cultures before contact with Europens? Is a matriarchal culture going to instantly cease to be matriarchal? Is it supposed to become patriarchal?

umbra


Umbra, I was trying to be provocative... to be honest, I dunno...
Until we realize there is an all out war on African people we will continue to go back and forth with this finger pointing. Also this romanticized matriarchal ideology thats suppose to be our natural culutral identify is overly simplified. If you look at the different regions in Africa and understand the family and community structures, every person in the village or community plays a role. Their is no dominant gender. Man and woman compliment each other. If we understand our roles things will be much better.
quote:
Originally posted by ZAKAR:
Until we realize there is an all out war on African people we will continue to go back and forth with this finger pointing. Also this romanticized matriarchal ideology thats suppose to be our natural culutral identify is overly simplified. If you look at the different regions in Africa and understand the family and community structures, every person in the village or community plays a role. Their is no dominant gender. Man and woman compliment each other. If we understand our roles things will be much better.


I agree with this... I simply maintain that it makes no sense to put all the blame on one gender or the other...

But I don't think it is "letting men off the hook" so to speak by looking at the female contribution to the problem ... and vice versa...they're both parts of a whole....

And the whole is under assault from outside...
Last edited {1}
quote:
Originally posted by umbrarchist:
Now this makes me wonder why a woman that would see the value in tools and collect them would want a man that wasn't proficient with tools. Do you ever get the impression that Black women want men that are dependent on them but then complain about it?


Iono. Perhaps my mama is a little weird because she didn't have using a wrench as a prerequisite for marriage.

Silly women was unreasonably blinded by love, responsibility, charm and all of those frivolous things.

Now look at that poor woman.

Stuck with him, she might have to fix her own bike.

Woe her.
quote:
If we understand our roles things will be much better.


But technology has destroyed roles and created new ones. It is technology that has created this White world more than White people. Alvin Toffler was talking about Future Shock in 1970 and there were no home computers then. lol

Men might be better at hunting lions but women might be better computer programmers. Are there any jobs listed for lion hunters in the classifieds this week?

umbrarchist
Last edited {1}
quote:
Originally posted by MBM:
Since there seems to be a serious problem with black men, and since many/most of these black men are growing up in homes parented just by black women - do the problems with black men really come from a crisis of African American motherhood? Are black women failing their children? Are they not preparing their boys to be men? Are they not preparing their girls to be mothers? Would African America really be much better off if black women got their "stuff" together? Confused

What do you think?


First, let me just say that a few us who frequent the Dating, Relationships, and Sexuality side of the board have been debating this very same topic over the last five months, incessantly. The sisters feel that quality Black men are scarce and the brothers feel that sisters are not making quality choices. Unfortunately, the debate is now at a stand still. However, I think the solution is ultimately an interdependent one. When there are more brothers who are financially capable (and willing) to be parents in impoverished communities, more women residing in these communities will make better choices. Someone faulted Black women for having children by various different men, but such women represent extreme cases. What of single, educated women, having no children, and who have never gotten the opportunity to marry. Why do you suppose these successful women are still single and are experiencing difficulty finding suitable marriage partners within the Black community? Let's refocus our attention on that segment of the Black community, because they represent the majority.
Last edited {1}
quote:
Originally posted by Shango67:
I am gonna venture out on a limb and it will surely break off. But I think Black women get a whole lot of credit for raising kids as a single parent but not enough scrutiny when the wheels fall off the bus. The jails are full of brothers raised by women, special ed classrooms are full of young brothers who are being raised by women, and a whole lot of boys are wearing pink, enrolled in dance classes, dressed up like doll babies and entering manhood completely confused, who were raised by women.

There is not a day that goes by when I don't see a young Black woman, dragging a little boy and saying something like, "come on JeDonte! You walk so damn slow. You are just like your broke ass father!" Black women are played for fools on morning talk shows. "I am sure he is the daddy... look at his nose! And he has his eyes. I wasn't messing with anyone but you!" And then you hear, "in the case of 4 year old Allaze... Daryll you are NOT the baby's father."

Maybe things would be workable if these types of sistas just had ONE baby from ONE dude... I don't understand four, five, and six all from different and unproductive Black men. Can there be some type of responsibility for breeding for the sake of breeding?

And in the cases where the father wants custody of his child, our women don't allow it. They run to the nearest family court and opt for child support, instead of giving the man the opportunity to raise is son or daughter. There is absolutely no scrutiny for the Black woman who PREVENTS visitation and access for reasons other than abuse. And by the by, may the Almighty have mercy on a man who finds another mate and the mother of his child gets wind of it - ALL HELL BREAKS OUT!

It seems to me that Black women are just WITH the kids, not raising them.



I agree with your sentiment. It seems that you, Honestbrother and I have common ground on this issue. Interesting ...... I am however, quite pleased that you said it first because your comments can be reviewed on the merits as opposed to who is the messenger.
quote:
Originally posted by Rowe:
What of single, educated women, having no children, and who have never gotten the opportunity to marry. Why do you suppose these successful women are still single and are experiencing difficulty finding suitable marriage partners within the Black community? Let's refocus our attention on that segment of the Black community, because they represent the majority.


beer

While I don't agree that multiple baby mamas are rare at all, I actually think they are the norm, if the other type of women do not have children we will be re-inventing the wheel and the Black middle class will no longer exisit.
quote:
Originally posted by Nikcara:

I agree with your sentiment. It seems that you, Honestbrother and I have common ground on this issue. Interesting ...... I am however, quite pleased that you said it first because your comments can be reviewed on the merits as opposed to who is the messenger.



What? I'm not Jack & Jill enough for you? Roll Eyes

I swear... some negroes almost make you love white folks...
There is a crisis of motherhood in the black community. For starters,I do not understand why a women would choose to be impregnanted with a man who will not be a good father. If more women would stop having relationships with unstable, unresponsible men, many of the problems would be fixed.

However, the problems black men are facing is equally because of the crisis of motherhood and fatherhood.
quote:
Originally posted by Sweetwuzzy:
There is a crisis of motherhood in the black community.

I agree....
quote:
For starters,I do not understand why a women would choose to be impregnanted with a man who will not be a good father.

Women do choose.....

But not from the same criteria .....

and not from the same stimulus....

and often not....

aware of the real consequences.....

Realistically we live in a culture where men and women do not typically get together physically to start a family.... they get together to please one another...... they are wrapped up in whatever qualities they find attractive in one another.....

and what a woman finds attractive varies......

even among those who are taught what they should be looking for.......

but....

oft times when a man and woman mate.... they are lost in passion.....

and we do not raise our girls to know how to restrain their passions enough to be cautious around men.....

and we do not raise our girls to value themselves enough not to allow themselves in risky situations....

the best we offer our girls....

is a condom....

and a stern warning not to come back with a baby.....

this works with some girls and sometimes....

but by no means should it be the best thing we, as elders in our society can come up with.....


quote:
If more women would stop having relationships with unstable, unresponsible men, many of the problems would be fixed.

If that is the goal....

What is the realistic method for its attainment?

How do we go about changing the hearts and minds of our young sisters so that they make better choices?

And when will we began to look at ourselves in our weaknesses and strengths to find the answers? Many of them pattern themselves after us......

And yet, many of us are blind to our own behaviors....

Because in many cases they are covered up well....

Or we like to place the blame of the weaknesses of our community on those of us in the community whose sins are not so easily hidden....

What I am saying is..... the pattern starts somewhere....

in the rearing of the mind of a girl....

how she views herself and the rest of the world....

her identity can't be a job, employment or career....

these are a means to an end....

or a way to express a talent and receive sustenance....

no....

her identity has to be her spiritual, holistic, righteous inner beauty....

how can we help our girls....

ourselves even....

to own this view of themselves ?

not so they become self-righteous....

but so that we can all see ourselves as valuable enough to have higher standards for ourselves





quote:
However, the problems black men are facing is equally because of the crisis of motherhood and fatherhood


Yes.....

But we have greater and closer access psychologically and a myriad of other ways to access our young girls..... and be a sister to our age mates......

this is not done.....

at least when brother's are approach we will have a clearer idea of our wants, needs, expectations and realistic goals for the interaction of the sexes......

societies have been doing this for ages......


this society does it on a whim here and there depending on who's committed to the idea and has enough wisdom, endurance and charisma to sustain it...

Peace,
Virtue
Last edited {1}
quote:
am gonna venture out on a limb and it will surely break off. But I think Black women get a whole lot of credit for raising kids as a single parent but not enough scrutiny when the wheels fall off the bus. The jails are full of brothers raised by women, special ed classrooms are full of young brothers who are being raised by women, and a whole lot of boys are wearing pink, enrolled in dance classes, dressed up like doll babies and entering manhood completely confused, who were raised by women.

There is not a day that goes by when I don't see a young Black woman, dragging a little boy and saying something like, "come on JeDonte! You walk so damn slow. You are just like your broke ass father!" Black women are played for fools on morning talk shows. "I am sure he is the daddy... look at his nose! And he has his eyes. I wasn't messing with anyone but you!" And then you hear, "in the case of 4 year old Allaze... Daryll you are NOT the baby's father."

Maybe things would be workable if these types of sistas just had ONE baby from ONE dude... I don't understand four, five, and six all from different and unproductive Black men. Can there be some type of responsibility for breeding for the sake of breeding?

And in the cases where the father wants custody of his child, our women don't allow it. They run to the nearest family court and opt for child support, instead of giving the man the opportunity to raise is son or daughter. There is absolutely no scrutiny for the Black woman who PREVENTS visitation and access for reasons other than abuse. And by the by, may the Almighty have mercy on a man who finds another mate and the mother of his child gets wind of it - ALL HELL BREAKS OUT!

It seems to me that Black women are just WITH the kids, not raising them.

appl

quote:
As long as Black men are out there in La La Land with a thumb up their simple asses instead of raising their children, they need not say a good god damned thing about the parent who is actually on the scene doing the work. What the child is missing is a direct result of the worthless piece of shit who is not on the scene. That is where the buck stops and should continue to stop for all eternity. What a fucking nerve.

What kind of world is this where we say "Well, we all now that Black men are pretty much useless when it cmes to raising their children, so lets turn up the heat on the women who are playing both roles." HELL NAW!!! Put all that heat right back on those "antisocial" (what in the hell sort of excuse is that?!?) fathers to get back in the picture. Black women are KILLING themselves trying to do a woman's and a man's job not only with the kids, but in damn near ever single aspect of life. We have to do EVERYTHING these days! It is NOT okay to continue to let the Black man off the hook for every single fuck up (and there are oh so many). I cannot believe people are forming thier lips to criticize and let Black men entirely off the hook on some "it is what it is" type trash. The Crisis is Black men. The Crisis is their absense! The Crisis is the number of you that are worthless except for shooting sperm! Get yourselves together first before you start to talk smack about the parent who is actually doing something! If more of you would be MEN and not little punk ass BITCHES, we wouldn't need to have this discussion.

appl
quote:
Originally posted by Frenchy:
As long as Black men are out there in La La Land with a thumb up their simple asses instead of raising their children, they need not say a good god damned thing about the parent who is actually on the scene doing the work. What the child is missing is a direct result of the worthless piece of shit who is not on the scene. That is where the buck stops and should continue to stop for all eternity. What a fucking nerve.

What kind of world is this where we say "Well, we all now that Black men are pretty much useless when it cmes to raising their children, so lets turn up the heat on the women who are playing both roles." HELL NAW!!! Put all that heat right back on those "antisocial" (what in the hell sort of excuse is that?!?) fathers to get back in the picture. Black women are KILLING themselves trying to do a woman's and a man's job not only with the kids, but in damn near ever single aspect of life. We have to do EVERYTHING these days! It is NOT okay to continue to let the Black man off the hook for every single fuck up (and there are oh so many). I cannot believe people are forming thier lips to criticize and let Black men entirely off the hook on some "it is what it is" type trash. The Crisis is Black men. The Crisis is their absense! The Crisis is the number of you that are worthless except for shooting sperm! Get yourselves together first before you start to talk smack about the parent who is actually doing something! If more of you would be MEN and not little punk ass BITCHES, we wouldn't need to have this discussion.

*Faints from the total audacity of the subject*


THANK YOU. These women are not making babies by themselves. If men want to help do something about this crisis, they need to at least wrap their shit up. They are JUST as responsible if not more so responsible if they don't bother to stick around. How can a woman teach a man how to be a man? That is something he needs to do. If he chooses not to, then he has not right to complain about the ONLY parent that child has.
quote:
Originally posted by keylargo:
quote:
Originally posted by Frenchy:
As long as Black men are out there in La La Land with a thumb up their simple asses instead of raising their children, they need not say a good god damned thing about the parent who is actually on the scene doing the work. What the child is missing is a direct result of the worthless piece of shit who is not on the scene. That is where the buck stops and should continue to stop for all eternity. What a fucking nerve.

What kind of world is this where we say "Well, we all now that Black men are pretty much useless when it cmes to raising their children, so lets turn up the heat on the women who are playing both roles." HELL NAW!!! Put all that heat right back on those "antisocial" (what in the hell sort of excuse is that?!?) fathers to get back in the picture. Black women are KILLING themselves trying to do a woman's and a man's job not only with the kids, but in damn near ever single aspect of life. We have to do EVERYTHING these days! It is NOT okay to continue to let the Black man off the hook for every single fuck up (and there are oh so many). I cannot believe people are forming thier lips to criticize and let Black men entirely off the hook on some "it is what it is" type trash. The Crisis is Black men. The Crisis is their absense! The Crisis is the number of you that are worthless except for shooting sperm! Get yourselves together first before you start to talk smack about the parent who is actually doing something! If more of you would be MEN and not little punk ass BITCHES, we wouldn't need to have this discussion.

*Faints from the total audacity of the subject*


THANK YOU. These women are not making babies by themselves. If men want to help do something about this crisis, they need to at least wrap their shit up. They are JUST as responsible if not more so responsible if they don't bother to stick around. How can a woman teach a man how to be a man? That is something he needs to do. If he chooses not to, then he has not right to complain about the ONLY parent that child has.



Jesus Christ, anybody ever hear of birth control pills?

You don't need any man's permission to use them...or even his knowledge...

Diaphrams... IUDs generally?

What about asking serious questions about a man before sleeping with him?

At least make the fool wear a rubber before he puts it in...

This is not about placing blame, my sisters... but I just really can't comprehend how you females so easily countenance complete disavowal of any responsibility whatsoever...as if you were completely passive victims, pure and simple...
Although as I said before, blacks seem to be getting their shit together since the percentage of black children being raised by single mothers has been on a decline recently.

But still, the percentage (43%) is still too high, and in this age of contraceptives and abortions, why are black women, even those that have stable incomes and careers, insist on having and raising babies by themselves?

Well, in my opinion (for what little value it's worth Big Grin ) there is simply not enough "marriagiable" black males to go around. Right now half of young, black men are without jobs and 21 percent are in jail.

If black women are expected to wait around until salvation comes for those black men, the population of black people will decline precipitously, if not cease to exist altogether. Take it how you want it, not having black babies because black brothers are too poor because this country does not want us to have jobs no matter how well behaved we are is just another form of mass lynching -- this time self-abetted.
quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:
quote:
Originally posted by keylargo:
quote:
Originally posted by Frenchy:
As long as Black men are out there in La La Land with a thumb up their simple asses instead of raising their children, they need not say a good god damned thing about the parent who is actually on the scene doing the work. What the child is missing is a direct result of the worthless piece of shit who is not on the scene. That is where the buck stops and should continue to stop for all eternity. What a fucking nerve.

What kind of world is this where we say "Well, we all now that Black men are pretty much useless when it cmes to raising their children, so lets turn up the heat on the women who are playing both roles." HELL NAW!!! Put all that heat right back on those "antisocial" (what in the hell sort of excuse is that?!?) fathers to get back in the picture. Black women are KILLING themselves trying to do a woman's and a man's job not only with the kids, but in damn near ever single aspect of life. We have to do EVERYTHING these days! It is NOT okay to continue to let the Black man off the hook for every single fuck up (and there are oh so many). I cannot believe people are forming thier lips to criticize and let Black men entirely off the hook on some "it is what it is" type trash. The Crisis is Black men. The Crisis is their absense! The Crisis is the number of you that are worthless except for shooting sperm! Get yourselves together first before you start to talk smack about the parent who is actually doing something! If more of you would be MEN and not little punk ass BITCHES, we wouldn't need to have this discussion.

*Faints from the total audacity of the subject*


THANK YOU. These women are not making babies by themselves. If men want to help do something about this crisis, they need to at least wrap their shit up. They are JUST as responsible if not more so responsible if they don't bother to stick around. How can a woman teach a man how to be a man? That is something he needs to do. If he chooses not to, then he has not right to complain about the ONLY parent that child has.



Jesus Christ, anybody ever hear of birth control pills?

You don't need any man's permission to use them...or even his knowledge...

Diaphrams... IUDs generally?

What about asking serious questions about a man before sleeping with him?

At least make the fool wear a rubber before he puts it in...

This is not about placing blame, my sisters... but I just really can't comprehend how you females so easily countenance complete disavowal of any responsibility whatsoever...as if you were completely passive victims, pure and simple...


men are just as responsible and yes, if the woman is forced to raise a child by herself, she is a victim and so is that child. Everyone makes mistakes but often times, it is the woman that bears the consequences of both parties' mistake. At least, she makes the EFFORT to raise the child. The guy that does not stick around to support the child that he helped to make is a worthless piece of crap.

It's like people that don't vote or do nothing to change policies. You don't get to complain if you don't participate in some way.
quote:
Originally posted by keylargo:
quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:
quote:
Originally posted by keylargo:
quote:
Originally posted by Frenchy:
As long as Black men are out there in La La Land with a thumb up their simple asses instead of raising their children, they need not say a good god damned thing about the parent who is actually on the scene doing the work. What the child is missing is a direct result of the worthless piece of shit who is not on the scene. That is where the buck stops and should continue to stop for all eternity. What a fucking nerve.

What kind of world is this where we say "Well, we all now that Black men are pretty much useless when it cmes to raising their children, so lets turn up the heat on the women who are playing both roles." HELL NAW!!! Put all that heat right back on those "antisocial" (what in the hell sort of excuse is that?!?) fathers to get back in the picture. Black women are KILLING themselves trying to do a woman's and a man's job not only with the kids, but in damn near ever single aspect of life. We have to do EVERYTHING these days! It is NOT okay to continue to let the Black man off the hook for every single fuck up (and there are oh so many). I cannot believe people are forming thier lips to criticize and let Black men entirely off the hook on some "it is what it is" type trash. The Crisis is Black men. The Crisis is their absense! The Crisis is the number of you that are worthless except for shooting sperm! Get yourselves together first before you start to talk smack about the parent who is actually doing something! If more of you would be MEN and not little punk ass BITCHES, we wouldn't need to have this discussion.

*Faints from the total audacity of the subject*


THANK YOU. These women are not making babies by themselves. If men want to help do something about this crisis, they need to at least wrap their shit up. They are JUST as responsible if not more so responsible if they don't bother to stick around. How can a woman teach a man how to be a man? That is something he needs to do. If he chooses not to, then he has not right to complain about the ONLY parent that child has.



Jesus Christ, anybody ever hear of birth control pills?

You don't need any man's permission to use them...or even his knowledge...

Diaphrams... IUDs generally?

What about asking serious questions about a man before sleeping with him?

At least make the fool wear a rubber before he puts it in...

This is not about placing blame, my sisters... but I just really can't comprehend how you females so easily countenance complete disavowal of any responsibility whatsoever...as if you were completely passive victims, pure and simple...


men are just as responsible and yes, if the woman is forced to raise a child by herself, she is a victim and so is that child. Everyone makes mistakes but often times, it is the woman that bears the consequences of both parties' mistake. At least, she makes the EFFORT to raise the child. The guy that does not stick around to support the child that he helped to make is a worthless piece of crap.

It's like people that don't vote or do nothing to change policies. You don't get to complain if you don't participate in some way.



This is absolutely insane.
quote:
It's like people that don't vote or do nothing to change policies. You don't get to complain if you don't participate in some way.

thanks Half of Black men are unemployed and almost 30% are in prison, but the only advice given is that women should take better advantage of contraceptives and abortions?! Is that a joke?? But "it's not about placing blame," right? I've yet to see a single man say anything to the high number of total wastes of space running around knocking up women left and right. But everybody and their mama has something to say about what sistas should do. Shut up. And some women fall right into that trap and buy into this junk. Blaming their own damn selves because a brotha took off. As usual. Jesus. stck

People keep phrasing it as if women need to take more responsibility for contraceptives and abortions. The women are NOT the ones who are running from the children they produce. The men are the ones who apparently feel so strongly about abandoning their own flesh and blood and all adult responsibility. Therefore, the MEN need to take the appropriate precautions and wear condoms, become celibate, throw themselves off a cliff, whatever they need to do. The women are making the best of it. The men are fucking gone. I should be vigilant about birth control and know all about abortions because there is a high probability that any Black man I take up with is going to run for the hills like a jackass at the slightest whiff of responsibility? Check yourselves. How can you all possibly continue to say that this entire thing is not totally letting Black men off the hook for some seriously fucked-up and longstanding behavior??!? That's pure nonsense.
quote:
Originally posted by Frenchy:
The men are fucking gone. I should be vigilant about birth control and know all about abortions because there is a high probability that any Black man I take up with is going to run for the hills like a jackass at the slightest whiff of responsibility? Check yourselves. How can you all possibly continue to say that this entire thing is not totally letting Black men off the hook for some seriously fucked-up and longstanding behavior??!? That's pure nonsense.



This is complete UNREASONING insanity....

So things are that bleak?

So women bear the majority of the burden?...

Everyone knows the statistics... right?

Then do what a * rational * person does, stop BITCHING...

And take responsibility for your own fucking health!

How many times does have to be said that it's not absolving men of responsibility by asking women what they can do to help address these problems???... sck

Frenchy, get the cotton out of your ears
And if you're not going to take rational steps to protect yourself you should stop complaining...

It's like the person who refuses to lock their door - leaving it wide open - who wants to turn around and complain about crime. It doesn't absolve the criminals to point out that this guy is behaving irresponsibly and has less moral authority to complain because of his own irresponsible behavior.

You're not letting the criminals off the hook by saying to the man, "Look, man.... lock your doors. That's a smart precaution to take with all these asshole criminals running around."

And it doesn't mean that I'm pro-criminal or never address the problem of crime because I say this to the man....

Frenchy, is this that special female reasoning (with emotion involved) you've been bragging about?

Add Reply

Post
×
×
×
×
Link copied to your clipboard.
×