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Originally posted by HonestBrother:
What were your earliest thoughts about God? How would you describe the evolution of your spirituality since those earliest experiences? What are your present beliefs about God/spirituality?
My earliest experiences and thoughts about God and religon were frightening. Even though concepts of heaven and hell were not discussed in my home, I had friends whose parents were religious and attended church regularly. And so whenever I would stay the night with a friend and her family on weekends, I was expected to also attend church with them on Sunday before returning home. And this is where the nightmare begins. Unlike White ministers, who tend to be very reserved speakers, Black ministers tend to give the most horrific and graphic details about hell that they can possibly deliver to their congregations. These insensitive descriptions can create some very frightening images in the minds of young children.
I'll never forget, after one sermon, my youngest sister and I were directed to attend Sunday school "for beginners" (ages 5-10). The woman leading the Sunday school session went around to each child to ask if whether or not we were saved. Scared and unsure about what she meant, when she got around to ask me the question, I told her, "No." And my youngest sister, who copied everything that I did at the time, said no too. After hearing both of our responses, disgusted, the woman eyes enlarged and suddenly she turned into what looked like the Devil himself, and said "Then the both of you are going straight to hell." Afterwards, the woman began to describe hell to us. She talked about an inescapable fiery pit where demons dwell. My youngest sister began to cry, but I didn't. Balling up my fist, I wanted to hit the woman in her ugly face, but I just got up, grabbed my sister, and left the crazed woman standing there.
Ever since then I wanted nothing to do with church or religon. And for a long time, I wouldn't step foot inside a church. It wasn't until years later, while attending college, that I found a church family that was much different from the churches with which I was familar. This church family renewed my interest in religon, because the minister was more "Afrocentric" than he was traditional. He did the best he could to find passages in the Bible--Genesis being his favorite chapter--that would prove to us that Black people (and our lineage) can be found in the Bible. Unfortunately, however, he died subsequent to the church falling apart, and his church is no longer in existence.
Now, I live my life appreciating multicultural perspectives and worldviews related to religon and spirituality. I am especially interested in traditional African and American Native religons and spirituality. After reading books like
Yurugu: An African Centered Critique of European Cultural Thought and Behavior by Marimba Ani and
God Is Red: A Native View of Religon by Deloria Vine, Jr., I've sinced discovered refreshing worldviews and beliefs that are very much different from the ones being espoused in the Christian Church.