Skip to main content

Last year, Tavis Smiley hosted a forum in North Miami that was televised on CSPAN 2 called "The State of the Black Family." It was the display of intellect, excellence, and most importantly tangible solutions by the participants in this forum that has helped me to revitalize my efforts; Join with people like Tavis Smiley and Tom Joyner in the mission to help empower black people in this country.

The continuous efforts of people like Tavis as well as Debra Dickerson have inspired me to develop my own unofficial afrosocial think tank. My mission is to discuss cultural, financial, and social wellness/etiquette issues from an eclectic,afrocentric point of view. Other topics like current events, music, politics, world news or any other concerns within the realm of the black diaspora will be entertained. Of the many discussions made by the panelists the most memorable statements were made by Judge Greg Mathis, San Francisco psychologist Julia Harea, and sociologist, Orlando Patterson of Harvard University.

Dr. Patterson raised a crucially important question of why, with blacks being the most religious race of people in this country, are we experiencing the lowest percentage of marriage, the highest rate of divorce, the highest
rate of co-habitation, and the highest rate of breakups amongst co-habitators.Even though Judge Mathis told brothers to 'man up' and Julia
harea said, "There are too many black men in prison waiting for justice and too many black women in church waiting for Jesus."

the most crucial comment was made by Myrlie Evers-Williams, widow of Medgar Wiley Evers. She wisely stated that young [black] mothers should take up the responsibility in raising their sons. I firmly believe this is one of the most important of many solutions in solving the disparities between black men and women as well as saving our young brothers.

My mom made a superhuman effort of raising me to be the strong black man I am today, and she did it by herself. Two of the many important things my mom did while raising me were telling me the truth about who my dad is as a person, and consistently instilling her high expectations of me. When we talked about my dad she wanted me to understand his strengths and weaknesses, not brainwash me with negative, one-sided, slanderous comments about him. She also worked tirelessly to instill in me a strong sense ofintegrity, moral responsibilities, confidence, and self-esteem.

She also taught me the importance of perseverance, having strong work ethics, and an unwavering faith in God. I said all that to say that a single mother is the most important figurein a boy's life. Even though these young brothers should be held responsible for their actions the real problem is being the by-product of a failed single parent upbringing.

Another crucially important statement Judge Mathis made was sisters need to stop loving these irresponsible, unworthy brothers
too much. The same thuggish brothers they love so much are the same brothers that in turn abuse and neglect them or as Judge Mathis so boldly stated 'mack' them. The problem is these brothers don't even love themselves, therefore they can't love someone else and they
definitely don't know how to receive love.

Of course I'm not saying the responsibility of raising a son should lay solely with the mother, nevertheless, the facts must be faced. If a
single mother truly wants her son to grow up to be a real man, and the biological father refuses to be involved then she's going to have to
commit herself to the task of creating a man. Whether it be instilling a boy with positive attributes or finding a suitable male role model in the neighborhood or both the task should be taken seriously and whole-heartedly from birth, not when he reaches adolescence.
Original Post

Replies sorted oldest to newest

quote:
the most crucial comment was made by Myrlie Evers-Williams, widow of Medgar Wiley Evers. She wisely stated that young [black] mothers should take up the responsibility in raising their sons. I firmly believe this is one of the most important of many solutions in solving the disparities between black men and women as well as saving our young brothers.

.....

Of course I'm not saying the responsibility of raising a son should lay solely with the mother, nevertheless, the facts must be faced. If a
single mother truly wants her son to grow up to be a real man, and the biological father refuses to be involved then she's going to have to
commit herself to the task of creating a man. Whether it be instilling a boy with positive attributes or finding a suitable male role model in the neighborhood or both the task should be taken seriously and whole-heartedly from birth, not when he reaches adolescence.


This is nice in theory but I don't think it fully takes into account how difficult the average Black single mother has it and how strong and pervasive outside influences are. I think most parents set out to raise decent, strong human beings, however the Black single woman cannot always be expected to be the Superwoman who raises perfect kids, holds down the finances, and nurtures/loves herself enough to maintain a healthy attitude about life and the future. I don't agree that part of it is a matter of Black single mothers stepping up to the plate. Black single mothers have been at the plate all along... alone... and making it work the best way they can. Absentee and uncaring parents as a whole need to step up to the plate for the Black family to survive.

Did Judge Mathis have anything else to say about the Black man's responsibility to preserving the Black family? I am surprised he would be well-received considering he cheated on his wife with hookers and was on cocaine as recently as a few years ago.
You know what, Frenchy, the very question you're raising about who is responsible, so on and so forth, was raised and debated heatedly by a who's who list of America's leading black people on Tavis Smiley's think tank--they never got to the bottom of the issue either.

Everyone had their strong points about who should do what for whom, by whom and with whom. I'm speaking from personal experience, Frenchy, as the son of a single mother--my parents were married until I was 13 but the responsibility of raising the family was primarily on my mother's back.

The point is, it CAN be done, Frenchy, if the situation calls for it. The problem is, there are single mothers out there that need help and guidance NOW--they need to know what to do NOW--if the father is unwilling to participate, life goes on--a woman can't just sit there and complain about what that fool isn't doing because regardless of his absence, the child stil has to be sheltered, clothed, fed and raised.

If my mother can raise three children, get her masters degree during the day, work as a nurse during the night, and all in failing health, then many of these much younger single mothers can certainly do the job of raising a child. I hate that many of us black men are irresponsible, selfish and childish but right NOW something has to be done to ensure the continuance of our race.

The ONLY way to defeat the problem of absentee fathers is to nip it in the bud--all of these men were once babies, therefore, they must be raised right to begin with--enstilled with the morals and values that are necessary to make a man what he is supposed to be--a respectable, responsible, viable pilar of black society.
quote:
The point is, it CAN be done, Frenchy, if the situation calls for it.


Sure, it CAN be done by some women. But I don't think it's entirely reasonable to expect that a child it took two people to make can be raised just as well by only one parent. I mean, if everyone in my office quit tomorrow I could keep things afloat, but there's no way the quality of the work would not be affected.

quote:
The problem is, there are single mothers out there that need help and guidance NOW--they need to know what to do NOW--if the father is unwilling to participate, life goes on--a woman can't just sit there and complain about what that fool isn't doing because regardless of his absence, the child stil has to be sheltered, clothed, fed and raised.


IMO, the Black single mother already knows this. She is the one out there working like a dog because no matter how much she wants to curl up in a ball and cry or die, the kids must be clothed/fed/raised. She needs funds. She needs time for herself to rejuvenate her spirit. She needs the government to track down the worthless bastards that leave their families behind without a care. She needs the community to put pressure on/impress upon her partner re: the value and importance of keeping the family together. The single father needs the same. These conferences are great for venting, but I don't see many of them that actually do anything.

quote:
The ONLY way to defeat the problem of absentee fathers is to nip it in the bud--all of these men were once babies, therefore, they must be raised right to begin with--enstilled with the morals and values that are necessary to make a man what he is supposed to be--a respectable, responsible, viable pilar of black society.


I agree for the most part. I certainly think the raising of a child deserves a great deal of care and dedication, but at the same time, the raising of a child does not begin and end with the parents. The community must also reinforce these ideals. The presence of both parents improves the chances, but if the community isn't behind their message, you have a real serious problem.
quote:
The problem is, there are single mothers out there that need help and guidance NOW--they need to know what to do NOW--if the father is unwilling to participate, life goes on--a woman can't just sit there and complain about what that fool isn't doing because regardless of his absence, the child stil has to be sheltered, clothed, fed and raised.


....Instead of being reactionaries, more must be done to create gainful employment opportunities, and other avenues that are legitimate, to keep the lack of opportunity to provide the necessities of life from driving so many Black men to the subculture to begin with.

Heck, felons are used for cheap labor. Prison guards treat the prison inmates with disrespect daily. Felons give up many rights that the law abiding take for granted. The felony jacket, that an inmate carries for life, is many times worse that the actual time served behind bars. The maintenance, the construction of prisons, or places of penal incarceration keep every other ethnic group gainfully employed but Black people.

********************
THE NATION
Baltimore Inmate Dies After Fight With Guards
His family says he was beaten and stomped by a number of officers. Six guards are put on leave.
From Associated Press

May 17, 2005

BALTIMORE "” Six guards at a long-troubled jail facility were placed on leave Monday after an inmate was killed in an altercation. An attorney for the man's family said he had been beaten and stomped to death in his cell.

State investigators are looking into Raymond Smoot's death, which was ruled a homicide by the state medical examiner's office.

A guard had trouble getting Smoot back in his cell Saturday night at the state-run Baltimore Central Booking and Intake Center, authorities said, and he called for backup. A struggle broke out, and 25 to 30 guards were involved, said Archer Blackwell, a spokesman for the guards union.

Smoot, 52, was severely injured and died at a hospital.

Mark Vernarelli, a state Department of Public Safety and Correctional Services spokesman, declined to release details of the fight. But Warren Brown, an attorney for Smoot's family, said the inmate was "beaten and stomped while in his cell by a number of officers."

"It'll be clear that this institution is operating with an absence of rules and regulations on how to deal with these types of procedures," Brown said.

The Baltimore branch of the NAACP will request an FBI investigation, the civil rights organization said late Monday.

Since 2002, 27 inmates have died at the facility, said state Sen. Verna Jones, who called for a task force to investigate, saying that Smoot's death "illustrates a system that is overwhelmed and broken."

People arrested in Baltimore are brought to the central booking facility to be identified, fingerprinted and photographed before court hearings.

The facility is so overcrowded that last month a judge ordered all inmates held longer than 24 hours to be set free.

Smoot had been in central booking since May 4 on a theft charge, awaiting trial in June. He was initially held on $5,000 bail, which was later reduced. His family said they had intended to bail him out Monday.

Delvonna Smoot, the inmate's niece, said she had seen her uncle's body, and his face was bruised and bloody. "The doctors said they've never seen another human being beat somebody as badly as they beat my uncle, never," she said.

The incident is the latest problem for Maryland's troubled prison system. An inmate died last year after a violent encounter with the prison staff. Another was allegedly strangled in February on a prison bus, leading an inmate to be charged and prison officials to fire three officers.

Copyright 2005 Los Angeles Times

*******************************

This type of activity, with respect the maiming and killing of Black men by police officers, prison guards, etc., has been going on for many years. Baltimore being a city with a large Black population, it would not surprise me in the least to learn that Black prison guards were in on beating this Black man to death.

More so than any racism on the part of Caucasians, treasonous activity between Black people is leading to the extinction of our community.

It would do the Black community good, for more Black people to show more respect for each other.

Last, but not least, those in positions of influence as it pertains to our own Black people who hold elected office who refuse to competently serve our community must be removed from political office.

As Black people, we must make the first move to clean up our own community. It is not in the best interest of Caucasians, Hispanics, Koreans, etc., etc., to be the first to step up to the plate to look out for the best interest of Black people.

It serves outsiders well to watch Black people go at it, to the point of killing each other off. When the smoke clears, Caucasians, Hispanics, Koreans, etc., etc., can help themselves to anything that may be of value that is left behind. The value in what is left behind, could be real property, personal property, our Black women, our children, etc., etc.

Sincerely,

Michael Lofton
Last edited {1}
quote:
....Instead of being reactionaries, more must be done to create gainful employment opportunities, and other avenues that are legitimate, to keep the lack of opportunity to provide the necessities of life from driving so many Black men to the subculture to begin with.


You have no argument from me there, Michael, which is why I made the discussion "Ideal Reparations" in the reparations forum. First, before gainful employment can be saught, these black men need to be educated or trained.

There are plenty jr colleges where they can get training in various disciplines i.e. electrician, brick masonry, drafting, etc. Many of these brothers would also qualify for a full pell grant ride and, oftentimes, people that pursue these avenues of training make just as much, if not more, money than people with university degrees.
quote:
Originally posted by IRONHORSE:
quote:
....Instead of being reactionaries, more must be done to create gainful employment opportunities, and other avenues that are legitimate, to keep the lack of opportunity to provide the necessities of life from driving so many Black men to the subculture to begin with.


You have no argument from me there, Michael, which is why I made the discussion "Ideal Reparations" in the reparations forum. First, before gainful employment can be saught, these black men need to be educated or trained.

There are plenty jr colleges where they can get training in various disciplines i.e. electrician, brick masonry, drafting, etc. Many of these brothers would also qualify for a full pell grant ride and, oftentimes, people that pursue these avenues of training make just as much, if not more, money than people with university degrees.


Indeed this is true. Electricians, Plumbers, Machinists, etc., etc., in many instances earn as much money, if not more than those who possess that university degree.

************

County to Pay Woman Shot by Deputies
The victim, who was struck 10 times and suffered nerve damage in the possible 'contagious fire' case, will get $200,000.

By Jack Leonard
Times Staff Writer

May 18, 2005

Los Angeles County agreed Tuesday to pay $200,000 to an unarmed woman shot 10 times by sheriff's deputies who fired 65 rounds, a case under investigation as possible "contagious fire."

Michael Gennaco, head of the department's Office of Independent Review, cited similarities between the shooting of Simona Wilfred and last week's incident in Compton, where deputies fired 120 rounds in a residential neighborhood.

He said his staff was still investigating the Nov. 11, 2003, shooting, but had concerns about the deputies' tactics. As in the Compton shooting, investigators were trying to determine if some officers fired because they heard or saw other officers fire.

"There is a whole host of potential issues, from ... the way in which police officers responded to the situation "” came up on the car shooting "” to the number of rounds fired," Gennaco said.

While calling deputies' actions justified, county attorneys said a jury might view Wilfred, a former Rite-Aid clerk, as an "innocent" third party and award her far more in damages than the $200,000. Wilfred suffered permanent nerve damage to her arms and left leg.

"She is likable and well-spoken, and makes a sympathetic witness," wrote Assistant County Counsel Gary N. Miller in urging the Board of Supervisors to settle the case.

Deputies had not realized that Wilfred was a passenger when they began chasing an SUV after its driver left a home that was under surveillance by a sheriff's narcotics team, Miller wrote.

The settlement comes amid continuing criticism of deputies who were involved in the Compton shooting, in which a deputy and an unarmed suspect were wounded and nearby homes pocked with bullet holes.

Sheriff Lee Baca said he might consider changes to his department's pursuit policy after that shooting.

But sheriff's officials said there were several differences between the two incidents.

Deputies in the Wilfred shooting had good reason to believe that the driver they were chasing was armed, said Sheriff's Lt. Shaun Mathers. The driver was later convicted of trying to hit them with his vehicle, he said.

"It's not quite the same," said Mathers, who oversees the department's civil litigation unit. "They knew that he possessed a firearm moments before [the chase], he failed to stop, and he assaulted them with his vehicle."

The incident began in the early evening shortly after Wilfred's boyfriend, Tommie Campbell, picked her up from Rite-Aid. Wilfred's attorney said the couple stopped at the home of relatives in an unincorporated area near Monrovia.

What happened next remains in dispute.

Plainclothes deputies reported seeing Campbell load drugs and a handgun into his Ford Explorer but never saw Wilfred in the passenger seat, Mathers said. Attorneys representing the couple said sheriff's records show that no deputy reported seeing Campbell with a handgun.

The deputies called for help and began to follow Campbell in unmarked cars. After a few miles, Campbell stopped and his pursuers pulled up behind him. The deputies said they identified themselves and ordered Campbell to turn off his engine "” an assertion disputed by Campbell and Wilfred.

Wilfred's lawyer, Burton Jacobson, said the couple never realized that they were being chased by law enforcement officers, instead believing that the men were armed gang members. The couple fled in the SUV, Jacobson said, with Campbell honking his horn.

"If he got attention, he was hoping someone might call the police," Jacobson said.

Deputies said Campbell backed his SUV toward them, prompting them to open fire. Several rounds struck an unmarked sheriff's vehicle. After a brief chase, the SUV circled back and tried to strike two deputies who were on foot, Mathers said, leading them to fire more shots.

Campbell's SUV struck an unmarked sheriff's car and crashed into a wall. Mathers said Campbell ignored orders to lie down and appeared to reach for his belt, prompting deputies to think that he was seeking a weapon.

Deputies opened fire. Bullets struck nearby cars. Eleven hit Campbell and others struck Wilfred.

Campbell survived but suffered lung and left leg injuries and other wounds, said his attorney, Franklin S. Adler. Adler said his client never heard deputies order him to the ground.

Neither Wilfred nor Campbell were armed, but deputies discovered a handgun under the hood of the Explorer and marijuana in Wilfred's purse, Mathers said.

Copyright 2005 Los Angeles Times

*********************

More important than reparations for slavery, our leadership in elected office holders, attorneys, etc., must do more to serve our community. In the article above, "County to Pay Woman Shot by Deputies
The victim, who was struck 10 times and suffered nerve damage in the possible 'contagious fire' case, will get $200,000", this Black woman from the inner-city chose to accept the $200,000 from the County of Los Angeles, due to the reality that our own Black elected leaders, so-called legal professionals do not truly serve the oppressed.

Los Angeles County got off lightly here. Had this gone to trial, make no mistake this lawsuit would have resulted in "mega bucks" in compensation for Simona Wilfred. Simona, like so many Black people from the "hood" know that our own elected leadership in a no-good "Brentwood Burke", "Kerosene Waters", "Merv Dymally", "no good Reverend Jesse Jackson", "now deceased, ambulance chasing attorney Johnny Cochran", "poverty pimping" Danny Bakewell, etc., etc., etc., do not serve the truly oppressed.

Should these individuals who claim to be the vanguard of the oppressed, be examined for the reality of it, in reality many times these individuals use their position of influence to misrepresent, steal from, cheat, cut deals behind the back of the oppressed for their own selfish gain at the expense of the plight of the truly oppressed. As a result of this treasonous activity, by Black people in positions of influence, the truly oppressed, in numerous atrocities to which the government has violated the truly innocent such, as a Simona Wilfred, leave the victim with no other choice than to settle for the $200,000, than be pimped out of compensation due him or her, pimped by any number of the "poverty pimps" that truly exist in the Black community.

The failure that exists with our own Black leadership, and/or so-called legal representatives, has contributed to the many Simona Wilfred(s) from the "inner-city" settling for less, rather than ending up with nothing as a result of the sleazy, the greedy, and/or the blatantly incompetent, that truly exist as it relates to many of the so-called university educated in our community.

Sincerely,

Michael Lofton
Last edited {1}
quote:
Did Judge Mathis have anything else to say about the Black man's responsibility to preserving the Black family? I am surprised he would be well-received considering he cheated on his wife with hookers and was on cocaine as recently as a few years ago.


Frenchy, not only did Judge Mathis speak very strongly about black men taking responsibility for preserving the black family, he also spoke very strongly on that and many other subjects when he spoke at Alabama State University's commencement last year.

You know, Frenchy, when it comes to talking about the irresponsible, selfish behavior of some black men, you couldn't find a person to agree with you more than me. As I've said before, I witnessed my mother drive herself into the ground--raising the family while my dad did everything under the sun.

There was no damn excuse for how he behaved and he is deeply, deeply regretful after the fact. Yes, I agree with you, these bastards need to be made accountable for fathering these children, unfortunately, there is no accountability, at least not at the level there needs to be.

Children just need to be raised right, period--boys as well as girls need to be instilled with morals and values--bottom line. Just as men need to be held accountable, women need to be more responsible with their bodies, plain and simple.

Personally, if I was a woman, seeing other females around me getting pregnant at the drop of a hat, and abandoned like an unwanted puppy, I wouldn't be so willing to lay up with a man, knowing he has no intension of marrying me, first of all, and secondly, knowing the only thing he has of value are the clothes on his back and the shoes on his feet.

It's evident that there are a lot of sorry ass men out there--the point is for sisters to make better decisions in the men they chose to become involved with. Education and mentoring are two of the best solutions in solving these problems--of course, there are many other solutions but we must first address the problem at it's source--parenting skills.

We, as a community must, indeed, be our brothers keeper if we are to flourish as a race.
quote:
Originally posted by Frenchy:
quote:
The point is, it CAN be done, Frenchy, if the situation calls for it.


Sure, it CAN be done by some women. But I don't think it's entirely reasonable to expect that a child it took two people to make can be raised just as well by only one parent. I mean, if everyone in my office quit tomorrow I could keep things afloat, but there's no way the quality of the work would not be affected.

quote:
The problem is, there are single mothers out there that need help and guidance NOW--they need to know what to do NOW--if the father is unwilling to participate, life goes on--a woman can't just sit there and complain about what that fool isn't doing because regardless of his absence, the child stil has to be sheltered, clothed, fed and raised.


IMO, the Black single mother already knows this. She is the one out there working like a dog because no matter how much she wants to curl up in a ball and cry or die, the kids must be clothed/fed/raised. She needs funds. She needs time for herself to rejuvenate her spirit. She needs the government to track down the worthless bastards that leave their families behind without a care. She needs the community to put pressure on/impress upon her partner re: the value and importance of keeping the family together. The single father needs the same. These conferences are great for venting, but I don't see many of them that actually do anything.

quote:
The ONLY way to defeat the problem of absentee fathers is to nip it in the bud--all of these men were once babies, therefore, they must be raised right to begin with--enstilled with the morals and values that are necessary to make a man what he is supposed to be--a respectable, responsible, viable pilar of black society.


I agree for the most part. I certainly think the raising of a child deserves a great deal of care and dedication, but at the same time, the raising of a child does not begin and end with the parents. The community must also reinforce these ideals. The presence of both parents improves the chances, but if the community isn't behind their message, you have a real serious problem.


Peace and Blessings,

I cosign wholeheartedly Frenchy....

Peace,
Virtue
Hmmm ... an interesting conversation IronHorse and Frenchy!

The way I see it, you two are talking about two different types of single black mothers, with both of you making exceptional points about those two respective types. My dilemma is which group could actually be considered in the majority in this day and time? I would love to see some statistics on that!!

As I think about the single mothers that I know, I know some very strong single black mothers that have done an excellent job of raisin fine young black men, because they did put in the kind of hard work and dedication that Frenchy speaks of. I also know some single black mothers that are not working towards the development of raising their sons to be strong black males they can/should be, but are merely doing what they can and have to to provide and survive, however lacking the know-how or knowledge of the process of nurturing the young boy in his journey of becoming a man. I would venture to say that the difference tends to run along age/generational lines more so than anything else.

And regardless of what the percentages are, when IronHorse says it's too many of them, I tend to agree with him also.

So, I guess I'm just middle of the fence, here! Smile But I did enjoy both of your perspectives!
quote:
Originally posted by IRONHORSE:
quote:
....Instead of being reactionaries, more must be done to create gainful employment opportunities, and other avenues that are legitimate, to keep the lack of opportunity to provide the necessities of life from driving so many Black men to the subculture to begin with.



You have no argument from me there, Michael, which is why I made the discussion "Ideal Reparations" in the reparations forum. First, before gainful employment can be saught, these black men need to be educated or trained.

There are plenty jr colleges where they can get training in various disciplines i.e. electrician, brick masonry, drafting, etc. Many of these brothers would also qualify for a full pell grant ride and, oftentimes, people that pursue these avenues of training make just as much, if not more, money than people with university degrees.


I agree with you, Ironhorse, but the issue I have that as education goes, it needs to elevated to a previously held position of revelance in our community. I am not saying that everyone needs to go college. Heck, my older brother is doing better than I am and he has a GED. But even he realizes that a vocation training as a mechanic is better than no formal training. But in short, it just saddens me that education is not given such an esteem or priority in our 'hood anymore.
And as to regards to the raising of sons by their mothers singly, i have to agree with Frenchy. Yes, it is true that there are those special strong black females like Ironhorse's mother who successfully raised a son by herself. But this is rare and far in between. It takes two, heck, in some cultures, an entire village to raise a child. I think one way of encouraging fathers to play an important role in their children's lives is to discourage the "positive" portrayal of just having babies without playing a fatherly role as touted in today's mass media. But I know this will be hard as it does not serve thew bottom line of these large mass media companies.

But there seems to be hope......

felix
IronHorse...

I forgot to mention, I'm not sure if you're aware, but that was Tavis' 4th such symposium and he did a 5th one this year in Atlanta that was off the hook!! tfro Even more knowledge was spread regarding issues that face our community by a who's who of some of our best and brightest. It was entitled Defining the African American Agenda, and out of it came a commitment to develop a Contract with Black American (now being termed a "Convenant" at the suggestion of Minister Louis Farrakhan) by which they plan to present to both major political parties as a leverage by which to secure our vote in the coming 2008 presidential elections.

These conferences are held every year in February in different parts of the country since 2000. CDs/video/audio tapes of them are sold on his website, if you would like to add them to your library! Smile
This topic really is a 'middle of the road' kind of discussion because, in the traditional sense of single parenthood, meaning the mother having the child out of wedlock, both parties are at fault.

I can attest to some of these single black mothers either taking advantage of special programs that are designed to help them or don't access these programs at all. for example, there are several local churches that offer single parent programs--food, mentoring and social support is offered for these young ladies. They show up, take the freebies and eat the food and never return.

There are also various federal programs that offer free vocational training, in some major cities, for these young black women and men. These programs are designed to take single mothers off of welfare and also make these young black men employable in today's workforce--too many of them drop out of these free programs because they have no work ethic, therefore, we need to be our brother's keeper.
Yep, EbonyRose, I'm aware of Tavis' symposiums. Speaking of, Tavis, I caught him on PBS at about 1am yesterday, interviewing Burt Reynolds. Damn, you know you're on the downside of your career when the only gig you can score on T.V. is a spot on a black man's show, on public television in the middle of the night lol Still, Tavis is my man though--Tom Joyner is the man too.
quote:
Originally posted by folobatuyi:
quote:
Originally posted by IRONHORSE:
quote:
....Instead of being reactionaries, more must be done to create gainful employment opportunities, and other avenues that are legitimate, to keep the lack of opportunity to provide the necessities of life from driving so many Black men to the subculture to begin with.



You have no argument from me there, Michael, which is why I made the discussion "Ideal Reparations" in the reparations forum. First, before gainful employment can be saught, these black men need to be educated or trained.

There are plenty jr colleges where they can get training in various disciplines i.e. electrician, brick masonry, drafting, etc. Many of these brothers would also qualify for a full pell grant ride and, oftentimes, people that pursue these avenues of training make just as much, if not more, money than people with university degrees.


I agree with you, Ironhorse, but the issue I have that as education goes, it needs to elevated to a previously held position of revelance in our community. I am not saying that everyone needs to go college. Heck, my older brother is doing better than I am and he has a GED. But even he realizes that a vocation training as a mechanic is better than no formal training. But in short, it just saddens me that education is not given such an esteem or priority in our 'hood anymore.
And as to regards to the raising of sons by their mothers singly, i have to agree with Frenchy. Yes, it is true that there are those special strong black females like Ironhorse's mother who successfully raised a son by herself. But this is rare and far in between. It takes two, heck, in some cultures, an entire village to raise a child. I think one way of encouraging fathers to play an important role in their children's lives is to discourage the "positive" portrayal of just having babies without playing a fatherly role as touted in today's mass media. But I know this will be hard as it does not serve thew bottom line of these large mass media companies.

But there seems to be hope......

felix


Well, damn, folobatuyi, I'm doing the best job I can with these dang kids lol It's getting harder to deal with these kids due to irresponsible parents, peer pressures and this fairly new trend of thinking it's cool to be dumb and uneducated.

Tomorrow is the last day of school and I am so ready for the summer break music
quote:
Originally posted by IRONHORSE:
Yep, EbonyRose, I'm aware of Tavis' symposiums. Speaking of, Tavis, I caught him on PBS at about 1am yesterday, interviewing Burt Reynolds. Damn, you know you're on the downside of your career when the only gig you can score on T.V. is a spot on a black man's show, on public television in the middle of the night lol Still, Tavis is my man though--Tom Joyner is the man too.


tfro

I catch Tavis' show every night here at 12:30 a.m. I think a lot of white folks flock to his show with the intent to get a one-up with the Black community. It gives them a form of exposure they wouldn't otherwise have. And he always asks each and every one of them a "Black oriented" question! Most are ready for it ... some aren't so lucky, though! Big Grin

And I like Tom, too. However, I can't listen to his show, as Jay Anthony Brown turns my stomach. But their committment and dedication to our community and our kids is unpresidented, unquestioned, and unequalled as far as visibility on a daily platform.

You can hear Tavis' radio show on Public Radio through his website, too, now. The full two hours. And he has some great guests!
This is really interesting, about 18 months ago on this board I started a discussion, more of a rant really about a young mother and her 5 kids all from different fathers and the struggles that my wife and I went though trying to help her. In the end she got pregenant with a 6th child by daddy number 6, moved to Texas where the father was in hope of him taking her and her entire brood in only to have him call the police on her.

Well recently she moved back to Oregon and the process has started all over again, initially she expressed dismay at her life and how she just didn't know how to raise her three boys so there wouldn't turn out like their fathers or her father which she indicated has babies all over the place. So now in an effort to make a different once again, I have the boys from Friday to Sunday at our house, they perform odd jobs, do school work and get a healthly dose of what a man should be and what he definitely should not be.

However, the mother just does not have seemed to have learned from the past 15 months and continues to make the same mistakes. My wife went online and found a number of soucrces that could help the woman but she complained that she didn't want to deal with the people, the turning point came a week ago when she came close to being evicted out of her apartment, she suddenly realized that she needed to get up and start doing something to help her family. No, she didn't get evicted because I couldn't stand the idea of those 6 kids being out on the street, so I paid the difference in the rent that she needed, and my wife had what they would call a "come to Jesus talk". Make it clear that this was a one time shot, she needed to get up and out working to find a job.

It is clear and I posted this comment 18 months ago that this women's self esteem was tied up in her spreading her legs apart for just about any man that came along, tragically she just never learned that these guys never really wanted her just the booty. She is a perfect example of a woman that has refused to learn from her mistakes and refuses to do anything to really help her condition, that may be overly harsh to some, but thats the truth. From failing to take advantage of us helping her get her GED, to changing how she lives this woman just does not get it.

I think that I am ranting again.

Add Reply

Post
×
×
×
×
Link copied to your clipboard.
×