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interesting.....

i've done this b4 on PURPOSE

why cuz like someone stated earlier, men have a tendacy b4 even actually speaking -to undress u with thier eyes and all that street bull crap talk dont cut it with me so u gets NO ATTN

no eye contact

no nothing

sorry



many times i am so 1-track-minded and focused on what i got on my mid or where i am going that i aint really paying u no attention 4 real even tho i may speak/wave and see you but i really dont see you if u know what i mean

so either way a man could feel as if i not speaking or giving them that wanted eye contact
Saying hi on the street is a geographical thing in my experience. I was raised in upstate NY and NYC and just moved to Maryland/Suburban DC this past January. Before moving here, the only time someone said hi on the street was a man trying to get my number, so I was conditioned to say nothing and make zero eye contact. But when I moved here, I found that most everyone including females say hi when you pass in the street. I've been told I was rude for not doing so, and as a result I've begun speaking as a courtesy. So far only a few men were trying to 'holla' at me, and when I told them I wasn't interested, they backed off and were very polite.
quote:
It is not being hit on by a man, but how so many men choose to hit on a woman that makes it a very uncomfortable experience. Loud, lewd comments. Reaching out to touch your person. Asking invasive, inappropriate questions. Entering your personal space. Refusing to leave you alone if you decline their advances. Etc. It feels like being attacked. Add to that the fact that most of us know the high number of women who are eventually attacked by a man, and it can be a frightening experience. Some men can hit on you in such a way that will make you want to immediately take a shower afterward (and NOT to cool your hormones). You just feel so incredibly violated. Some men will hit on you in such a way that will actually make your heart start to beat fast out of fear.


I knew ma'am had to be from NY because I totally understand what you're saying. I know that I am potentially cutting myself off from a "good brother" because I refuse to make eye contact with or speak to random black men on the street for the reasons you stated above. Sometimes just a LOOK can spark those undress you with my eyes looks, or those Jerome from Martin lame come on lines that I am just not up for at 8:00 in the morning on the train to work. The commute is hell, I don't need to be dealing with that nonsense as well. I remember one morning, a Black man, about my age (late 20's) asked me which train was the local and which one was the express. I gave him an answer and before I could even BLINK he proceeded to give me some lame line asking how a brother like him could get my number with that desperate HUNGRY look on his face. Are you kidding? You don't even know my name! All I did was answer your question about the train and you want my phone number? It was lame, tired and completely inappropriate for the time and place and it was all because I tried to be nice and give him a little direction. To avoid him I ended up getting on the local train because I didn't want to be dealing with him and his lame come ons on the hour long train ride to work. It's experiences like that that make many Black women avoid that eye contact and avoid that random "hello" from a Black man on the street.

I've definitely noticed it's a location thing though. When I visit family in Maryland it's a totally different experience. "Hello." "Good morning." "How are you today?" And no one wants anything for the most part but to be polite. It's so refresing and such a nice change, but in the meantime, I keep my sunglasses on, stick the iPod earphones in my ears and become inaccessible walking the streets in NYC.

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