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"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.'
Need I say more?"

-Chris Rock

The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.
This is not funny but it is a reality.

By all standards, some creatures are just plain strange, making us do double takes because their compositions or habits or appearances defy our sense of logic and our way of viewing reality. Take the wildebeest, the warthog, the hyena, the brown pelican, the Shar-Pei. These animals, seemingly wrought by committee, make us laugh or shake our heads. Another such creature, of the human kind -- and perhaps the strangest of all -- is the black Republican. "

Bill Maxwell

More to come later!

Your Brother Faheem
Black Folks In Heaven

Gabriel came to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you, I have Black folks up here in Heaven who are causing some problems.

They are swinging on the Pearly Gates, my horn is missing, barbecue sauce is all over their robes, ham hock, sparerib, and pig feet bones are all over the streets of Gold. Some folk are walking around with one wing.

They have been late taking their turn in keeping the stairway to heaven clean. There are watermelon seeds all over the clouds.Some of
them aren't even wearing their halos, saying it is messin up they hair ...

The Lord said, "I made them special, as I did you, my angel. Heaven is home to all my children. If you really want to know about problems,let's call the Devil.

"The Devil answered the phone, "Hello? Dang, hold on.

"The Devil returned to the phone and said, "Hello Lord, what can I do for you?" The Lord replied, "Tell me what kind of problems you are having down there." The Devil said, "Wait one minute," and put the Lord on hold.

After 5 minutes he returned to the phone, and said "Okay, I'm back. What was the question?" The Lord said,"What kind of problems are you having down there?"

The Devil said, "Man, I don't belie..... hold on, Lord". This time the Devil was gone for 15 minutes. The Devil returned and said, "I'm sorry
Lord, I can't talk right now. These Negroes dun put the fire out, and are trying to install air conditioning!"

The Lord is on my side;I will not fear:what can man do unto me?
(Psalms 118:6)

If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.

Originally posted by Nkechi:

_La Femme_ _Nkechi_
Be the change in the world you want to starts with you

I know that I have to stop thinking like this, but when I saw the video, my first thought was that I'd like to see the kid pull that tantrum stuff with your average black parents. Now that would have been a funny video. Wink

God has told you, O man and woman, what is good; and what does the SOVEREIGN ONE require of you but to do justice, and to be compassionate, and to walk humbly with your God?
A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?"

God said, "No, you have another 43 years, two months and eight days to
live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and
have a facelift, liposuction and tummy tuck. Since
she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well look
even nicer.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While
crossing the street on her way home, she was hit and killed by an

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had
another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me out of the path of that

God replied, "Girl, I didn't recognize you."

Big Grin

[This message was edited by Yssys on May 09, 2003 at 10:58 AM.]
What are they teaching our kids in school these days! Big Grin

A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?"
A little girl in the back of the class raised her hand and said, "All I want
out of life is four animals".

The teacher said, "Oh, really! What four animals would that be?"

The little girl said, "a mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in
bed, and a jackass to pay for it all."

Our people have made the mistake of confusing the methods with the objectives. As long as we agree on objectives, we should never fall out with each other just because we believe in different methods, or tactics, or strategy. We have to keep in mind at all times that we are not fighting for separation. We are fighting for recognition as free humans in this society
Malcolm X, 1965
LOL Kresege Big Grin

Our people have made the mistake of confusing the methods with the objectives. As long as we agree on objectives, we should never fall out with each other just because we believe in different methods, or tactics, or strategy. We have to keep in mind at all times that we are not fighting for separation. We are fighting for recognition as free humans in this society
Malcolm X, 1965
There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.
Life is sexually transmitted.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day;

Teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they use to?
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: You read about all these terrorists -- most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10 -15 years.

Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.
Originally posted by Nykkii:
ever wonder why...
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?

Who was the first one who thought that the white thing that came from a
hen's butt looked edible?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut,
why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are
going to look up there anyway?

Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both

What do you call male ballerinas?

Why ARE Trix only for kids?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't
he just buy dinner?

Why is a person that handles your money called a Broker?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Did you know that the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have
the same tune?
(Are you singing them both to really find out?!)

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the

Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars
in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint
somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

if you don't know your options, you don't have any!
Big Grin

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