Skip to main content

Fellas....How would you react if you were to find out through a third party that your fiancé, the woman you plan on starting a family with, was either a stripper and/or posed nude for money in the past? Would you question her as to why she kept it from you? Would you expect your fiancé to disclose her entire history to you? Would you look at her any differently? Will she remain on the pedestal that you put her up so high on?
All phenomena are characterized by "unity" through the complementarity of masculine and feminine principles – Memphite theology
Original Post

Replies sorted oldest to newest

After questioning the woman and establishing the facts that this is true, it becomes more of what your position is in life or what you are aspiring to become in future and look at how this information is going to affect you.

To give an example if you intend to become a Policeman, a Judge or hold any high PUBLIC office then trust me your enemies to stop your progress can use this woman's past misdeeds against you and you would be legless and NOT have a hope in hell to beat off any onslaught. So in this situation it becomes a choice of the woman or YOUR future.

If on the other hand her past is not going to affect you one-way or the other then it becomes a personal decision based on how you feel about her. Even at this stage you would do well to keep in mind that a Leopard does not change it's spots and also the apple does not fall far from the tree. Which means that she might go back to her past ways which might leave you looking really stupid for going with her giving you know about her history. Even if this does not happen and you want this person to become the mother of your children, then be warned that the children COULD display their mother's past tendencies. The decision again is YOURS

_____________________________
Is it just talk or are you for solutions? If you are GENUINELY interested in solving black problems? Then join us at http://www.theguidedog.com/BlackNation.html
First one would have to verify the story for themselves before comming to their fiancee with anything, she's soon to be wifey, she gets benefit of the doubt more than anyone. If it's proven, and she did, I guess the next question is "why", I personally can't think of any circumstance why she can't get a job that maintains her integrity and dignity but again future wifey gets benefit of the doubt. Personally I can't see me stickin' around, cause you know most of us fellas on some level think that how wifey acts/acted is how are daughters are gonna turn out. The apple does'nt fall far from the tree, and I am one of those dudes for sure. As to "should she have told me" and "would I have to take her off the pedestal" The answer to both is "hell's yeah." My pedestal is reserved for queens only(and no she's not a queen just cause she says so.)And no man wants a queen who was everybody else's plaything. Someone who's beauty, integrity and dignity can be bartered with, bought, and on display, for any and all, as long as the funds.

******************************
Then I heard another voice say:"come out of her,my people,so that you will not share her sins,so that you will not receive her plagues, for her sins have piled up to heaven and YAH has remembered her crimes,give her back as much as she has given;pay her back double what she has done. Mix her a double portion from her own cup. Give her as much torture and grief as the glory and luxury she gave herself."(Revelations 18:4-7)
quote:
Originally posted by IMMORTAL LOGIC: My pedestal is reserved for queens only(and no she's not a queen just cause she says so.)And no man wants a queen who was everybody else's plaything.
Hey Logical man, How come you can say similar things to what I say and get away with it and I don't" I get labelled for being logical. What's going on? Confused Confused

Oh I got it, it is it because of where you say from, isn't it?

_____________________________
Is it just talk or are you for solutions? If you are GENUINELY interested in solving black problems? Then join us at http://www.theguidedog.com/BlackNation.html

[This message was edited by henry38 on December 05, 2003 at 01:54 AM.]


[This message was edited by henry38 on December 05, 2003 at 01:56 AM.]
rotflmao It's all in the mojo brotha, it's all in the mojo. brosmile Seriously, there'll most likely, be this big backlash by the time I get in tomorrow. Who cares. And uh Henry, you DO know I'm a guy not a mam, right. Hey! Don't you have a steelcage match to finish?

******************************
Then I heard another voice say:"come out of her,my people,so that you will not share her sins,so that you will not receive her plagues, for her sins have piled up to heaven and YAH has remembered her crimes,give her back as much as she has given;pay her back double what she has done. Mix her a double portion from her own cup. Give her as much torture and grief as the glory and luxury she gave herself."(Revelations 18:4-7)
quote:
Originally posted by IMMORTAL LOGIC:
rotflmao It's all in the mojo brotha, it's all in the mojo. brosmile Seriously, there'll most likely, be this big backlash by the time I get in tomorrow.
You man from the country of Logic and common sense. If not for anything, I will always watch your back, just for your signature alone. Great signature.

_____________________________
Is it just talk or are you for solutions? If you are GENUINELY interested in solving black problems? Then join us at http://www.theguidedog.com/BlackNation.html
i'd need some proof. If she did like an internet spread or players magazine, i'd want to see it...and have it in hand to see if she would lie about it if i ask her. I guess tho, if i'm in love and it was in her distant past, i'd probably be likely to let it go. We all got a lil freak in us, i guess

***********************************************************
'Sometimes life is obscene' - Black Crowes

Commerical Hall of Fame - All time list

'Who in the hell left the gate open???' Confused

'Somebody put roots on me' Frown

'I've fallen, and I can't give up!!!' broscream
I guess my take is different. I wouldn't question her on it, period.

What wifey-to-be did in the past should stay in the past, unless you're talking about last week, or while you two were together. What she may have done may have been immodest and/or ill-adviced, but it was not illegal, did not involve small children or friendly farm animals, so give her a pass.

Honestly, we can't hold this type of ommission against a woman because she probably is A) embarrassed/insecure about it and hasn't come to terms with it, so why open the wound? Or B) astute enough to realize that no matter what we say, men really can't handle/don't want to know the truth regarding our intendent's sexual past, so why open the wound?

Our ability to deal with our partner's sexual past is a direct reflection of our personal security. The stronger our belief in ourselves and the relationship, the more likely we are able to handle, or not care, about our partner's sexual past.

I'm more concerned with a present, commissive lie, than an ommissive lie about the past. For example, if she portrayed herself as a sexual conservative (prude) and now degrades dancers and nude models, without disclosing or at least alluding to her past, I'd raise the question. if see denies it, then we may have an issue. But, if she only discussed her sexual past in general terms, I wouldn't trip about the stripping and/or pictures.
quote:
Originally posted by henry38:
If on the other hand her past is not going to affect you one-way or the other then it becomes a personal decision based on how you feel about her. Even at this stage you would do well to keep in mind that a Leopard does not change it's spots and also the apple does not fall far from the tree. Which means that she might go back to her past ways which might leave you looking really stupid for going with her giving you know about her history. Even if this does not happen and you want this person to become the mother of your children, then be warned that the children COULD display their mother's past tendencies. The decision again is YOURS



Apparently, Social Darwinism is alive and being nurtured by Henry38.

Kwelie4Real makes sense - this is basically an exercise in how secure men are. Remember Chris Rock's joke about a man asking his girlfriend how many men she had been with? No matter what the number, a man can't handle it.

"Two?! Two?! *shakes head* I guess that just how you were raised."
but wouldn't a skeleton like that knock the wind out of you, especially if you were deep in love? your baby was everybody else's baby just as long as they had the loot. of course, we like the eye candy and grin ear to ear flirting and joking with these women in fun but we're talking about getting married. it's funny because i can honestly say from my experiences and from what i've witnessed is that some of us men will hang out, spend time, have fun and have sex with certain women that we would never want to marry and have kids with. not necessarily strippers but women we perceive as a little "fast-tailish". the women with the pants just a little too tight, cleavage is hanging out a little too much, and they are just a little to close to a pro in bed.
I think that the answer of what to do, depends on two things: 1) the man's security level (as Kweli and Phoenix said), and 2) what the man's position is re: sexual conduct. The more liberal you are about your woman's past, the less it matters to you. I won't comment on the security thing, because regardless of whether a man is secure or insecure, they still have relationships, and they still have to get through life and be as happy as they can be. If a man is insecure, we can't ask him to learn to be more secure. We can only ask him to make the decision that he's the most comfortable with, given his security level.

No matter what, if it would bother me, I would find a way to ask, and to find out for absolute sure. You don't want uncertainty to fester throughout your relationship, because eventually it will boil over and cause problems. Once you find out, what you do depends on #1 & 2 above.

As for me, if my girl ever had been a stripper, I would be okay with it if our sexual relationship is freaky and outrageous. If it was average or below, and I found out she used to strip, I'd probably feel left out, cheated and insecure.
quote:
Originally posted by Kweli4Real:
What wifey-to-be did in the past should stay in the past, unless you're talking about last week, or while you two were together.
One question comes to mind. Does this mean you do not care about public opinion with regard to whom you are married to. Public opinion in this regard meaning that a man's standing in society can be seriously damaged if he is seen cohabiting with a known prostitute or someone who USED TO be a prostitute.

_____________________________
Is it just talk or are you for solutions? If you are GENUINELY interested in solving black problems? Then join us at http://www.theguidedog.com/BlackNation.html
quote:
Originally posted by detroit1:
but wouldn't a skeleton like that knock the wind out of you, especially if you were deep in love? your baby was everybody else's baby just as long as they had the loot. of course, we like the eye candy and grin ear to ear flirting and joking with these women in fun but we're talking about getting married. it's funny because i can honestly say from my experiences and from what i've witnessed is that some of us men will hang out, spend time, have fun and have sex with certain women that we would never want to marry and have kids with. not necessarily strippers but women we perceive as a little "fast-tailish". the women with the pants just a little too tight, cleavage is hanging out a little too much, and they are just a little to close to a pro in bed.


as long as she wasn't a hooker, and that was the past and she LEFT IT for a long time...and if i was in love, i'd probably let it go....love is a strong emotion

***********************************************************
'Sometimes life is obscene' - Black Crowes

Commerical Hall of Fame - All time list

'Who in the hell left the gate open???' Confused

'Somebody put roots on me' Frown

'I've fallen, and I can't give up!!!' broscream
Look Radio be honest to yourself, you are never going to know the facts, most strippers sleep with clients that offer the right price so it is just prostitution with an exotic title, and don't kid yourself to say because you asked nicely the woman is going to tell you her life history. You only know what other people have witnessed and are prepared to tell. This brings me back to my question to Kweli, "Does this mean Kweli you do not care about public opinion with regard to whom you are married to?

_____________________________
Is it just talk or are you for solutions? If you are GENUINELY interested in solving black problems? Then join us at http://www.theguidedog.com/BlackNation.html
I think that while it might raise questions, it would not be an automatically disqualifying factor. It depends on the woman and the relationship itself, the precise facts (how long ago, etc), and how comfortable that I felt about it.

In general, I would be inclined to agree with Kweli, Phoenix, and Vox on this.

In any case, my decision, which ever way it went, would be based on my personal feelings about and ability to deal with the situation. "Public opinion" or my "standing in society" would not be a factor. I don't see marriage as a tool for career advancement.


Plowshares Actions
The Nuclear Resister
School of the Americas Watch


Cauca, Colombia


quote:
Originally posted by henry38:
Look Radio be honest to yourself, you are never going to know the facts, most strippers sleep with clients that offer the right price so it is just prostitution with an exotic title, and don't kid yourself to say because you asked nicely the woman is going to tell you her life history. You only know what other people have witnessed and are prepared to tell. This brings me back to my question to Kweli, "Does this mean Kweli you do not care about public opinion with regard to whom you are married to?

_____________________________
Is it just talk or are you for solutions? If you are GENUINELY interested in solving black problems? Then join us at http://www.theguidedog.com/BlackNation.html


true, but i guess it would be time to trust her words..if she said that all she did was Players Magazine or stripped [part-time]for a couple months in college [with no side profits], i'd have to believe it. It would take a really long time trusted friend to prove otherwise to me. I wouldn't end it on some rumor...because many of those are put out there by people that are just hateful and could be beefing with my lady friend. I really guess it would depend how long i was going out with her. Everyone has a past.

***********************************************************
'Sometimes life is obscene' - Black Crowes

Commerical Hall of Fame - All time list

'Who in the hell left the gate open???' Confused

'Somebody put roots on me' Frown

'I've fallen, and I can't give up!!!' broscream
quote:
Originally posted by ricardomath:
I don't see marriage as a tool for career advancement.
Ricardo naughty, naughty, that was sneaky you know I never said marriage can be a form of career advancement. Nobody marries for career advancement today. It must have been true about a hundred to two hundred years ago but not anymore and I NEVER SAID SO either. I was talking about the fact that the woman's colorful past can STOP a promising PUBLIC office career dead in its tracks and you are intelligent enough to know that.

Now back to my question about public opinion with one marrying a stripper/hooker no difference, same thing. You see Ricardo if kweli is a white man and answered the way he did I would not bat an eyelid, I would just move on.

There is a problem however if we are dealing with a black man giving that kind of response. Let me explain. Black people have one thing they would die to uphold, "THEIR SELFRESPECT." Black people do not take kindly to being ridiculed. In this area of ridicule they react VIOLENTLY if you disrespect their mother, the woman in their live or say they are homosexual. Black Americans make about 8 percent of the black population in the world and their sentiments may be different I don't know but you would find what I have said holds true for Caribbean, Black British and Africans. Because of this I have yet to see a black man put himself in the vulnerable situation where his peers can disrespect him. I have yet to meet a Blackman that is married to a former prostitute.

Ricardo if a Blackman marries a former prostitute and other black people know about it that black man is dead meat and would be subjected to the highest form of ridicule in the black community that would flow onto his children and continue till he is dead and buried, believe you me.

Now kweli has indicated he is one black man that would take the risk of ridicule and take this kind of woman to his mother to introduce as his future wife. Therefore as one black man to another please Kweli clarify;
"Because you do not care about her past even if the info is out are you saying you do not care about (BLACK) public opinion with regard to whom you are married to if her past is well known to the black community?

_____________________________
Is it just talk or are you for solutions? If you are GENUINELY interested in solving black problems? Then join us at http://www.theguidedog.com/BlackNation.html
Of course, I'll never hold a high public office (or low public office, for that matter), so I wouldn't have to worry about that, anyway. winkgrin

As for marrying for career advancement, I suspect that this may be a consideration for many politicians, actually.

I would, btw, note that we've gone from talking about a former nude model/dancer to a former prostitute.

What if her nude modeling was for a life drawing art class in college for a little extra cash? Would that automatically disqualify her for marriage in your eyes?

Plowshares Actions
The Nuclear Resister
School of the Americas Watch



Cauca, Colombia

quote:
Originally posted by henry38:
Black people have one thing they would die to uphold, _"THEIR SELFRESPECT." _ Black people do not take kindly to being ridiculed. In this area of ridicule they react _VIOLENTLY_ if you disrespect their mother, the woman in their live or say they are homosexual.


This from a man who turned into the Tasmanian Devil when he thought I was resorting to the use of stereotypes. Not all black men react violently to these types of things, and I resent the idea that a black man would inject such stereotypes into what was trying to be an intelligent discussion.
quote:
Originally posted by ricardomath:
I would, btw, note that we've gone from talking about a former nude model/dancer to a former prostitute.

What if her nude modeling was for a life drawing art class in college for a little extra cash? Would that automatically disqualify her for marriage in your eyes?


Have you ever been to a strip club Ricardo? Stripper is just another name for a glorified prostitute here in England.

Another thing stop being dumb (Unless you want things spelled out for you). You think the poster does not know why he said nude? Is he not conveying the fact that this is a woman that uses nakedness to make money? Where it stops is anyone's guess, and because it's anyone's guess most women in this business are there to display their body to the highest bidder, therefore the issue here is this woman marriage quality to a black man plus become mother to his children.

My response Ricardo you are not a black man to know how a black man feels about this. In case this comes as below the belt SORRY but I need you out of the way cos I am trying to solicit a response from a fellow black man
_____________________________
Is it just talk or are you for solutions? If you are GENUINELY interested in solving black problems? Then join us at http://www.theguidedog.com/BlackNation.html
quote:
Originally posted by Vox:
This from a man who turned into the Tasmanian Devil when he thought I was resorting to the use of stereotypes. Not all black men react violently to these types of things, and I resent the idea that a black man would inject such stereotypes into what was trying to be an intelligent discussion.
Vox the steel cage is still there if you feel you have build up enough courage and would like to continue you can copy the information here and paste it in there and we can continue. I am really not interested in posters that are here for a pat on the back from sisters as they are not man enough to get women out there

_____________________________
Is it just talk or are you for solutions? If you are GENUINELY interested in solving black problems? Then join us at http://www.theguidedog.com/BlackNation.html
You are such a coward Vox. In the steel cage you wanted out cos I am sure you felt exposed and vulnerable and transparent. Poor little mummy's boy. You can not fight man to man so now you chose to hide in topics and snipe at me using my debate with other posters as a cover. God you are transparent. How old are you Vox, a little boy? No wonder you thrive on approval from other people. Pathetic little worm.

_____________________________
Is it just talk or are you for solutions? If you are GENUINELY interested in solving black problems? Then join us at http://www.theguidedog.com/BlackNation.html
Okay Vox it's almost midnight here in London so I am going to bed. You can come out now from hiding behind your mummy and do your vile wormy sniping at my posts. I promise you boy I would not be around to snap at your heels so come on out. Just post a few more and if there is enough juice from you I will cut and paste it in the steel cage for everyone to know the fight is back on.

_____________________________
Is it just talk or are you for solutions? If you are GENUINELY interested in solving black problems? Then join us at http://www.theguidedog.com/BlackNation.html
quote:
Originally posted by henry38:
quote:
Originally posted by ricardomath:
I would, btw, note that we've gone from talking about a former nude model/dancer to a former prostitute.

What if her nude modeling was for a life drawing art class in college for a little extra cash? Would that automatically disqualify her for marriage in your eyes?


Have you ever been to a strip club Ricardo? Stripper is just another name for a glorified prostitute here in England.

Another thing stop being dumb (Unless you want things spelled out for you). You think the poster does not know why he said nude? Is he not conveying the fact that this is a woman that uses nakedness to make money? Where it stops is anyone's guess, and because it's anyone's guess most women in this business are there to display their body to the highest bidder, therefore the issue here is this woman marriage quality to a black man plus become mother to his children.

My response Ricardo you are not a black man to know how a black man feels about this. In case this comes as below the belt SORRY but I need you out of the way cos I am trying to solicit a response from a fellow black man


Not only do I not know what the average black man would think about this, I don't know what the average white man would think, either. But I suspect that you speak for about as many black men as the number of white men that I speak for. Razz

The original question was about a woman who had been "either a stripper and/or posed nude for money in the past". Had he intended to ask about a former prostitute, I suspect that he would have used the word. I don't know what percentage of strippers and/or nude models have also engaged in prostitution, but for the sake of answering the question, I am assuming that she didn't.

The question about a former prostitute is an interesting, but different question. Personally, if she had done that, I would have more qualms about it. Eek

Admittedly, my scenario of a woman who posed nude for money for a college art class is also probably not what the original poster had in mind, but nonetheless I am curious how you would feel about it. (You can even assume that she is a virgin.) Smile

Plowshares Actions
The Nuclear Resister
School of the Americas Watch



Cauca, Colombia

Why did I not know you would come back. Not to worry I knew you would come back that is why I said in brackets in my last comment to you, "unless you want things spelled out for" Since you want things spelled out this is what detroit1 went on to say. I have bolded the hint for you not to miss it as you are white and you might not understand black speak
quote:
Originally posted by detroit1:
but wouldn't a skeleton like that knock the wind out of you,......... your baby was everybody else's baby just as long as they had the loot. ............ we're talking about getting married. it's funny because i can honestly say from my experiences and from what i've witnessed is that some of us men will hang out, spend time, have fun and have sex with certain women that we would never want to marry and have kids with. not necessarily strippers but women we perceive as a little "fast-tailish". the women with the pants just a little too tight, cleavage is hanging out a little too much, and they are just a little to close to a pro in bed.
I hope now you get the drift. With regard to your other question I learned long ago not to respond to a cue or prompt coming from a white man no offence but there is too much of an agenda behind what you do or say.

Finally Ricardo don't get patronizing about me speaking for black people because there is a different between what I said and what you are saying. A person not speaking or acting as a black man speaks which means if you were paying attention is a statement used on the board often to sniff out white posters masquerading as black. What that translates to is that as black people we know INSTINTIVELY how our minds work and how we respond to things/issues. Do you understand? Good!!!

What are you a Vulture looking for carrion? You come in here pretending to be a friend to black people but wherever there is conflict between brothers on the board you are there in a flash to help to stir things and destroy. I have seen you do that with Lofton, sergeant and God knows who else. All of a sudden I notice you are worming into threads I am contributing when in the past our paths never crossed. All of a sudden like the virginity thread Ricardo takes an interest when he wasn't interested in it before why because it a controversial subject that could cause things to flare up for you. I noticed you have positioned yourself up nicely in there, you would not get what you want Ricardo, this black man is a different kettle of fish. You don't realize I have been watching you did you? What is it, is your job here is to infiltrate? The usual divide and rule tactics, give it a rest that tactics is too dated as the world is wise to your tricks.

_____________________________
Is it just talk or are you for solutions? If you are GENUINELY interested in solving black problems? Then join us at http://www.theguidedog.com/BlackNation.html
quote:
Originally posted by henry38:

With regard to your other question I learned long ago not to respond to a cue or prompt coming from a white man no offence but there is too much of an agenda behind what you do or say.



OK, feel free not to answer the question about the art class if you feel that there's too much of an agenda there.
Roll Eyes giveup

quote:

Finally Ricardo don't get patronizing about me speaking for black people because there is a different between what I said and what you are saying. A person not speaking or acting as a black man speaks which means if you were paying attention is a statement used on the board often to sniff out white posters masquerading as black.


OK, you found me out. Eek You've seen through my masquerade. fro What gave me away? Confused

quote:

What are you a Vulture looking for carrion? You come in here pretending to be a friend to black people but wherever there is conflict between brothers on the board you are there in a flash to help to stir things and destroy. I have seen you do that with Lofton, sergeant and God knows who else.


Actually, I haven't had all that much interraction with Sergeant (a. k. a. Mountain), but you do realize that he's a white Protest Whinier, and not really from this forum, don't you?
fool

I thought that you could sniff out white posters masquerading as black? Razz

As for Lofton, I met him on another forum, and he has attacked me from the beginning both here and there, so I have responded in kind. argue He pisses me off sometines, but I just can't stay angry at him for long, though. He's just too damn entertaining! rotflmao

quote:

All of a sudden I notice you are worming into threads I am contributing when in the past our paths never crossed. All of a sudden like the virginity thread Ricardo takes an interest when he wasn't interested in it before why because it a controversial subject that could cause things to flare up for you.


Actually, I heven't been posting much of anything here lately, until the last couple of days, except for starting a couple of gay rights threads in the wake of the gay marriage ruling of the Mass Supremes. I have a day job, and there are only so many hours in a day. sleep

Gay marriage is controversial, but virginity? Nah, I don't think so. Roll Eyes

quote:

I noticed you have positioned yourself up nicely in there, you would not get what you want Ricardo, this black man is a different kettle of fish. You don't realize I have been watching you did you?


Watching me? Uh-oh! Eek

Looks like my worming days are numbered...especially in a kettle of fish! Eek

quote:

What is it, is your job here is to infiltrate? The usual divide and rule tactics, give it a rest that tactics is too dated as the world is wise to your tricks.


Yup! I'm pretty sure that that's why Lofton invited me here to this forum in the first place!
thumbsup rotflmao

Plowshares Actions
The Nuclear Resister
School of the Americas Watch



Cauca, Colombia



[This message was edited by ricardomath on December 07, 2003 at 05:24 AM.]
quote:
Originally posted by henry38:
Hey Logical man see what I mean? Like you said it all in the mojo rotflmao

_____________________________
Is it just talk or are you for solutions? If you are GENUINELY interested in solving black problems? Then join us at LOLLL!!![/b]*shrugging]http://www.theguidedog.com/BlackNation.html
LOLLL!!!*shrugging shoulders* Maybe it is. YEAH BABY, YEAH! Big Grin

******************************
Then I heard another voice say:"come out of her,my people,so that you will not share her sins,so that you will not receive her plagues, for her sins have piled up to heaven and YAH has remembered her crimes,give her back as much as she has given;pay her back double what she has done. Mix her a double portion from her own cup. Give her as much torture and grief as the glory and luxury she gave herself."(Revelations 18:4-7)
Let me throw this out there for the board. What if she was a stripper, but from another part of the world? Let's say she's from madagascar, so the probability of either of you comming across her former clients is VERY low. Would it still matter as much?

******************************
Then I heard another voice say:"come out of her,my people,so that you will not share her sins,so that you will not receive her plagues, for her sins have piled up to heaven and YAH has remembered her crimes,give her back as much as she has given;pay her back double what she has done. Mix her a double portion from her own cup. Give her as much torture and grief as the glory and luxury she gave herself."(Revelations 18:4-7)
quote:
Originally posted by IMMORTAL LOGIC:

Let me throw this out there for the board. What if she was a stripper, but from another part of the world? Let's say she's from madagascar, so the probability of either of you comming across her former clients is VERY low. Would it still matter as much?


I don't think that it would make any difference. If I had reason to worry about what might happen should she come across a former client, I would have enough doubts about her without the clients.

I don't see how it either hurts or helps her case.

It's like worrying about ex-boyfriends. Either I trust her or not. If I do trust her, I won't worry about her ex-bf's even if they live next door, and if I don't trust her, the fact that her ex-bf is on the other side of the planet won't help her.

Plowshares Actions
The Nuclear Resister
School of the Americas Watch
miserable failure



Cauca, Colombia

quote:
Originally posted by IMMORTAL LOGIC:
Let me throw this out there for the board. What if she was a stripper, but from another part of the world? Let's say she's from madagascar, so the probability of either of you comming across her former clients is VERY low. Would it still matter as much?
Logical man in many cultures in the world from all of Asia right down to Africa people do not marry without knowing something about the woman. It is true that in America you live in a liberal society but look around you and your record on marriage and divorce?

Marrying a woman without knowing anything about her is like looking at a tree and ignoring the fact it has roots. It is the roots that make the tree. Likewise it is the history of the woman that shapes her character. If you ignore this then marriage becomes a lottery, you can win or you can loose.

As pointed in out by detroit1: we are talking about marriage and in my book you are a fool to marry any woman without knowing anything about her. I guess this all boils down to age and experience. When you are young you are hot headed and dash in and out of relationships recklessly. You get wiser as you get older and you realize that women are no different at all to men, we are the same in every respect except what is between our legs. This being the case common sense would dictate if you can not trust your fellowman why would you marry a woman without knowing anything about her? Would you go into a business contract with a man without knowing anything about his past? Likewise if we understand women are the same as men in all respects, why go into a marriage contract to have children without knowing anything about the woman's history. If you are serious minded you should know marriage is more important than a business contract and should be handled more delicately. If a man can defraud you in a business contract so can a woman in a marriage contract. Just as you can wake up and realize you lost millions and facing jail because your business partner is a con man with a fraudulent past likewise you can wake up from twenty years of marriage do a DNA test and realize children you have raised and come to love do not come from your loins simply because the woman has a history/root of being unfaithful. Your life would practically be over because you were reckless and foolish.

_____________________________
Is it just talk or are you for solutions? If you are GENUINELY interested in solving black problems? Then join us at http://www.theguidedog.com/BlackNation.html
Henry, The short answer is No, public opinion has very little to do with my decisions, especially in areas involving my heart.

I learned long ago to follow MY mind and MY heart in matters of relationships as well as other things. "The Public" has little interest in MY happiness or success. In fact, I've found that "the Public" generally roots for my Unhappiness and Failure; so I choose not to give public opinion that power over my life.

Frankly, if one makes decisions on this basis, one would likely live a solitary and bland life.
quote:
Originally posted by henry38:
You are such a coward Vox. In the steel cage you wanted out cos I am sure you felt exposed and vulnerable and transparent. Poor little mummy's boy. You can not fight man to man so now you chose to hide in topics and snipe at me using my debate with other posters as a cover. God you are transparent. How old are you Vox, a little boy? No wonder you thrive on approval from other people. Pathetic little worm.



And for all of this stupid stuff, not once did you address the statement itself. In fact, you've never addressed any of my comments, since this whole "Mad Henry" bit of yours got started. That would make YOU the coward; your own ideas can't stand up to the slightest scrutiny.

As for me being scared of you, I told you in the other thread not to stop acting like a lunatic on MY account. Like I already told you, you do not possess the ability to harm me. On or offline, if I disrespect you, how could your words hurt me? They don't, they can't, they never will, all you're doing is making yourself continue to look foolish. As for me and my "need for approval," I doubt I'm winning over hearts and minds, when I lower myself to address the ravings of a sorry little idiot like you.
quote:
Originally posted by Kweli4Real:
Henry, The short answer is No, public opinion has very little to do with my decisions, especially in areas involving my heart.

I learned long ago to follow MY mind and MY heart in matters of relationships as well as other things. "The Public" has little interest in MY happiness or success. In fact, I've found that "the Public" generally roots for my Unhappiness and Failure; so I choose not to give public opinion that power over my life.

Frankly, if one makes decisions on this basis, one would likely live a solitary and bland life.


This makes good sense to me! thumbsup

Plowshares Actions
The Nuclear Resister
School of the Americas Watch
miserable failure



Cauca, Colombia

Add Reply

Post
×
×
×
×
Link copied to your clipboard.
×