Married 20 years this Sept 11th, yeah I know, last year was a trip anniversary. We were so bummed out we forgot all about it and waited a few days after to celebrate.
I know that every marriage is different, but this is what I suggest.
Secret to Marriage, IMHO, is figuring out what is worth arguing about, some things are not worth getting upset about. When you are upset, speak to your mate with at least the common courtesy you would with a stranger. Have 2 joint banking accounts, one for her, and one for me. My wife pays the house note, it's gravy after that for her, my wife is great with money, and I got everything else. We don't fight over money. Some things are not worth mentioning; try to talk about relevant issues with love, patience and compassion. Do not seek to dominate the other. Don't be so needy, yes we all have our moments but don't make it a life long moment, get over it whatever it maybe, don't be an emotional burden on your mate. Make sex fun, not a ritual. Play together. Pray together.
Allowing each to have their own space and friends. Don't try to change each other, let each other be who you are, your partner will be motivated by love to adjust and make changes if needed.
Keep your health, don't let yourself go to pieces, if you feel good, you send good vibes to your mate.
I really appreciate and love my wife for putting up with me, I don't try to control her because I respect her intellect and judgment, I don't own her, and I honor her with my life.
[This message was edited by JuneBug on August 22, 2002 at 10:08 AM.]