quote:Originally posted by ShayaButHer:
They say that no one does it to us like our family. While this event was harrowing for you, your brother and the mother/stepfather, this was only one event in time. You get to start over again each second. This event does not have to define you, nor does it have to be the end all of your RelationShip with your brother.
Even though your brother hit you first, go to him and apologize for your part in it. Even if he blames it all on you, apologize for your own sake and vow to never go there again with him.
Maybe it would help you to think about what led up to the event and really look at how your emotions got to the point that they did. By looking back upon what happened, you can see triggers that you can either avoid or try to manage for the next time you get angry like that.
One thing that may help in the anger area is this: "anger is one letter away from danger"...when you feel it (anger), remember that. Opt to exercise self control by thinking of all of the things that keep you in control (i.e....the grace to have woken up that morning, gratitude for a good job, thankfulness for good RelationShips, a goal recently met, etc).
"Wisdom Is An Understanding Woman!"
Thank you so much for the advice... I'm slowly but surely coming to terms with what happened, with the help of my husband. I took sometime to talk to my great grandmother about what had happened because she can bring clarity to anything for me. We talked and she got me to understanding what exactly happened and just gave me a new point of view to look at it from. I've decided to just not talk to my brother for a while...It would be better for me and my sanity because although the wounds on the outside are going to heal and fade, the ones on my heart are going to be there for a long long time. But thanks for the advice again, that trigger thing especially.