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quote:
Originally posted by The one and only ME:
quote:
Originally posted by Fabulous:
I'm tired of certain women I know who complain about their children's father . . .when they KNEW the man was an asshole BEFORE they hooked up with him.

Why NOW is this a problem, huh?

The man didn't take care of the children he had before he MET you, WHY would you expect him to take care of any kids he has with you?

Personally, I wouldn't even DATE a man/father who didn't take care of his children, period. I tried to tell you and you wouldn't listen.

and while I'm venting. . . .

Don't call me because you think you might have an STD [I was married for a hundred years, I've never had an STD, so I damn sure don't know the symptoms]

... I'm talking about the women [OMG!] that I know, who STILL do not use condoms--WTF???. In this day & age how ignorant is that????

Listen up ladies, I'm about to drop you mentally draining sisters [blk & wht] to the curb. I can't have ignorant people stressing me out. I like y'all but not enough to sacrifice my own MENTAL PEACE. I'm not perfect, but y'all make too many FOOLISH/STUPID mistakes, and I just don't want to hear anymore about it. Y'all don't listen...you just want to bend somebody's ear, and I ain't the one.

Go in peace. Smile

I'm though!


Eek I am so shocked to hear you speak this way! Maybe you were destined to educate these sistas. And believe me, some of them will listen. Please tell me you are just upset and venting and not really serious about withholding your wisdom and guidance from a bunch who clearly need it?!! Eek


Right now, unfortunately, it's ALL about self preservation, TOAO. I get emotionally involved with these folks and it's to my own detriment. I have learned the HARD WAY that folks are not as considerate of ME & my feelings, as I am of them & theirs.

I gots ta cut my losses and move on.

OR . . . become a mental basketcase like they are--which I refuse to do.

Sorry, but Imma let birds of a feather flock together.
quote:
Originally posted by Fabulous:
I get emotionally involved with these folks and it's to my own detriment. I have learned the HARD WAY that folks are not as considerate of ME & my feelings, as I am of them & theirs.



I feel you on this. I tend to do the same thing myself. I just keep thinking that one day some good will come out of it.
I just saw the movie Departed that was set in Boston. It started out with a flashback to 1970s. It showed clips of the school busing incidents where whites threw rocks at black kids trying to get to school as well as the famous incident that AG has talked about where a brotha was attacked by a mob and assaulted with an American flag pole. Anyway - as you can imagine - as someone who lived through that, it conjured up some interesting memories/feelings!

Nevertheless there was a classic line from the movie that has stuck with me. One of the protagonists (Matt Damon's character) was graduating from the state police academy and he was talking with a fellow classmate - who was black. The black guy was talking about how tough it was being black then etc. - and Damon's character said something like "hey you don't have to tell me - being a black man in Boston you're fucked"! ohsnap lol

Classic!
Isn't it great that Tony Dungee (Indy Colts) is so successful as a coach? Isn't great that his former team, Tampa Bay, is in the basement? He was fired as the coach of T.B. after taking them to the playoffs several years in a row... Then management essentially hired Marvin Lewis and ownership vetoed management's choice, and sent him packing too... Isn't it great that John Gruden has been exposed for the coach that he really is?? And Marvin Lewis has turned around the Cincy Bengals... Before you say that he (Gruden) took them to the superbowl and won, remember that he did it with Tony Dungee's team he had no impact on personael choice at that point...
I am really cracking up at life; how it can be wonderful and stressful at the same time. This morning, I am really in awe of my ability to both laugh off other people's bullshit AND laugh at myself, laughing at other people's bullshit...LOL.

Reading through the forums, I found myself LAUGHING MY A$$ OFF....at those things implied, at those things that be true, at those things that are just utter Non-Sense and at those things that are just purely funny!

So, since I got my laugh on, I figured I'd lay on what I love...

I LOVE that my son has been in the bed for a while and I get time to MYSELF! Woo Hoo!

I love that all of our clothes are almost done washing!!!

I love that my house is so clean you could eat off of the floor (not that I'm plugging eating off of the floor - if you do that at your house or anybody elses, know that you do that at YOUR OWN risk!) LOL.

I love that I will actually get to RELAX this weekend! Woo Hoo! Home spa time, yeah, yeah!

I love that my paperwork is almost done! Organization is key!

I love that the pumpkin we carved the night before Halloween is still fresh! My son helped me scoop it out, we cleaned it out really good and then I sprinkled some cinnamon in it to preserve it. Then we put a biscotti candle in it! Awwww...he's so cute! LOL...and smells hella good!

I love that I will be taking my son fishing again in the middle of the week.

I love that we will be getting ahead on his school work!

I love watching these One on One re-runs....LOL.

I love everything...even the busted people....

For Real!
I'm just returning, well, I made it back
last night. . .from a trip to see an ailing family member.

It pisses me off COMPLETELY to see how some folk feel nothing of taking advantage of an elderly person. I swear, I could really kick some serious ass over this kind of shit. It makes me sick to my stomach.

If I am fortunate enough to live a long life but unable to care for myself, I'd rather be dead than live among the freeloaders and users of the world. In fact, just put me out of my misery, please ... because I'd much rather be dead.
Growing old scares me, I'm afraid of what being elderly will be like. Will i have someone to take care of me or will i be in a nursing home? If i am in a nursing home will i be properly taken care of? Will I be a burden to my family-my kids?Will I have alzheimers? Will i outlive my husband or will he outlive me? How will my health be? Will I be completely dependant on others for day to day things?
I think I am more afraid of growing old (elderly old) than of dying.
I think about that too sometimes coz I won't have children to rely on to visit, do stuff, when I'm old and going senile or worse. Wink It's wise to look around at the really old people you see in life and who has company and who doesn't... there's a lot to learn from that.

I myself won't be rich enough to live it easy, so I just want to make damn sure that I'm still cheeky enough to get away with stuff, gracious enough to people who help me, and mad enough to be entertaining to ensure visitors. Big Grin oh... and as long as I have the internet!!
Sometimes when I see how selfish people are, how callous, cruel, and oftentimes heartless they can be, I am disillusioned, sad, heavy hearted. The unfairness of it all makes me wanna cry ... well, during my weaker pms moments that is.lol

Anyway, yesterday on my way home from work, I happened to look out of my car window to see three young ones; two teenage boys, one black, one white ... and a smaller boy who appeared to be about 5 or 6 years old [he was also black] walking down the street. They came to a stop at a crosswalk. And while they waited for the light to change, the little boy reached out to hold the black boy's hand, but the teen pulled away. The little boy's head went down from rejection, his whole demeanor dejected. I felt sad for him; I thought to myself, it wouldn't have hurt the teen to hold the little brother's hand. Why is it that even our young ones are unsympathetic to one another. I turned away disgusted , I didn't want to see anymore.

But something made me look back at them, thankfully, in time to see the black teen smile down at the little boy, and then, wonders never cease, the teen reached out and took the little boy's hand. The little boy held the teen's hand and started to dance around a bit, grinning ear to ear--happy. The trio continued on their way ... and all three young ones were smiling.

This touched me deeply. It gives me hope for brighter days.
Peace....


You only live once....If we are lucky we will actually live during this time, and not just exist in perpetual survival or coping mode. We should never settle for that which will only sustain life....Life should be exhausted fully..It is the only one we have.



Kai
I love my friends, really I do.

And me & my friends go waaaay back.

Although I'm a very sociable person, I don't allow many people to get "close." I'm almost a walking contradiction. See, I'm what you'd call a very "approachable" person. I smile a lot so people take this as an open invitation.

My loyalties run deep. There's not much I wouldn't do for a friend, whether I agree with you or not, I'm on YOUR SIDE in spirit, no matter what. Well, almost no matter what.

If a friend doesn't have or feel a certain level of loyalty for me, it cuts deep. Maybe deeper than most folks because I'm so picky about who I allow in my space. It's almost scary [getting cut deeply that is *shivers*].

Sure, we all take a chance when we allow people into our lives, and unfortunately, sometimes, we're wrong about folks, and when we're wrong about folks--for me, it feels like I've wasted precious time & energy.

More importantly though, it hurts. sad
I was sharing in an email a few things about the color green. I like the color green because it has a soothing/calming affect on me. Really.

This is what I know about the color green. Smile

Green is a restful color that eliminates tension, anger, impatience and emotional problems. It creates stability, clear thinking, and the ability to understand the views of others. *cough* lol

It is calming, healing, restful, and supportive. You should wear green whenever you feel hemmed in, restricted, have a sense of loss, or are suffering from emotional stress.

But don't quote me. lol
I went to a training this morning on being a mentor and i was pleasantly surprised at how many black women showed up volunteering to be a mentor. I only hope we could have got some black men to come out or men period. I think women can mentor men, but to me it would be ideal for a man to mentor a boy and a woman to mentor a girl. well i can't wait to get started. I've wanted to mentor for a while shoot, if i could do it for a living i would. i can't wait to get started! 15
quote:
Originally posted by FireFly:
It should be made illegal for people to wear ill-fitting jeans lol

btw: Fab, I haven't done extensive research, but I reckon there are more variations and shades of the colour green than any other colour. Smile


This is true. My personal preference is forest green. btw...I haven't done extensive research either, but I don't believe it matters which variation & shade of green it is. Although I could be wrong. Wink

Anyway, there are other interesting facts about the color green, as well as quite a few superstitions associated with the color. Many actors are superstitious about the color green, this superstition started when stages were lit by limelights.

Funny how before going onstage an actor will wait in the "green room." lol

Also, there was a time when Sailors considered "green" to be unlucky [now what shade of green I don't know], but even Winston Churchill was affected by this superstition.

In Ireland, green is considered to be a lucky color, and of course we all know *cough* leprechauns wear green.

Green is the color of nature and believed to symbolize the resurrection [if I recall correctly]. Again, what shade or variation of green, I can't tell ya ... but the color green all the same.

I did some reading on "colors" a while back, unfortunately, I don't recall the title of the book at the moment. But without a doubt everyone is subliminally aware of the effects of certain colors ...

... and it's been proven that color affects people in different ways, color also has healing effects.

I can't break it down in the various shades though. Roll Eyes

note: my interest in colors stems from using an infra red light to relieve the pain from my injuries [leg & arm]. Now, THAT I can break down for you. The light pad contained an array of 59 colored and infrared light emitting diodes, or LEDS (24 infrared, 31 red, and 4 blue). The LEDs emit a stream of soothing energy.

When you're in PAIN [as I was] and don't want to take MEDS [as I didn't], you'll try pretty much anything to help yourself. Did this work for me? Yes, it did. Smile
We most definitely have our ups & downs, but I am digging this brother more & more each day. Although I can't tell y'all what it is, I have finally put my finger on 'exactly' what draws me to him.

We are so different, he & I ... yet we have so many things in common. He laughs with me, and I love the sound of his laughter. He really is a beautiful man and I ain't talkin' 'bout his handsome good looks.

There's just something about an intelligent, strong, confident, mature, easygoing, humorous & slow to anger black man.

Wow! bow
quote:
Originally posted by msprettygirl:
does he have a brother, cousin, or friend????? bow I'm being a little unlucky in the men department lately. It seems like things are starting to fall into place for me in other aspects of my life but romantically td6 sad


He's a friend, mspretty. A friend whose friendship is very precious & important to me. I'm not ready for "romance" right now -- don't ask me what I'm waiting for. Eek I guess I'm enjoying my freedom at the moment. Smile

Just watch, mspretty, things will turn around for you in the romance department. When you least expect it - romance will come. Smile
Nothing wrong with being friends nothing wrong with that at all. Smile Hum... i know eventually things will turn around for me, but in the mean time I'm being a little impatient. bang I've been meeting alot of guys lately, but not quality men-nothing i want to pursue. 9 I know when the time is right it will happen.
quote:
Originally posted by Khalliqa:
are you saying there are no quality men anywhere you frequent?


No, i'm not saying that necessarily. I did say when the time was right it would happen because, I'm sure there are some quality men out there in those places i frequent i'm just not meeting them yet. Those that i have met, that were quality, were already taken-married or in a relationship. I should have clarified that a little better i guess. The problem is finding quality, AVAILABLE men.
Even though it wasn't time for it, I went for a mammogram this morning. A black lady [who looked as if she had recently sucked a lemon], called my name and I followed her into "the exam room."

OOOOOOOOOOooooOOOoooooOOOooo scary.

I thought to myself, surely this woman isn't doing the actual mammogram, cause man oh man, I could feel the negative vibes from her a mile away. She looked to be 50-ish and hanging on dearly to the last shreds of youth. I base my observations on her general appearance. Also, she wasn't friendly or courteous, so this may have contributed to my perception of an overall ugliness about her. But hey, mammograms are serious business, right? no need to be gracious, or make a person feel more comfortable. Dammit! It is waaaay too much trouble & time consuming to threat a person like a human being, right? Right! Smile

Anyway, this mean ass technician told me to undress from the waist up [which I did], then she says, "you'll have to remove the ring from your navel."

"Oops, sorry," I said, and promptly removed my belly ring. "I had plan to remove it before my appointment, but I forgot. This whole process makes me a little nervous. Glad you caught that, thank you."

She neither acknowledged me nor cracked a smile, she simply looked me up & down and proceeded to place what appeared to be a Band-Aid on each nipple--MY nipples.

Now, I've had a mammogram before but I've never had the Band-Aid thingy done, so I asked her about it. "Is this part of a new procedure?"

Once again there was silence, no answer.

Hmmmm. . .maybe she didn't hear me, y'all know how THAT can be. By the third time I posed the question, though, I was irritated and even MORE curious about the Band-Aids she placed on my nipples. Finally she responded, and her answer was very curt & to the point.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKay.

I decided to keep my mouth shut from then on because, well, I didn't want to get into a disagreement with the person doing my mammogram--deserving of my disdain, though she may be.

I was glad when it was all over [ms meany told me to hold my breath without preparing me - Wait, wait, hold my breath? I'm not ready], & I couldn't get my bra on fast enough. But before I could button my blouse, she asked about problems I was having with my breasts.

Me: Problems with my breasts?

Technician: Didn't I ask you about the problems you're having?

Me: No, you didn't.

Technician: Well, are you?

Me: No, I'm not having any problems with my breasts, they're tender right now, though.

Technician: How long have you been experiencing this tenderness?

Me: About 5 minutes. The pressure from the examine itself HURT LIKE HELL. The mammogram caused the breast tenderness. Before I walked through that door, I wasn't feeling a thing.

Humph! That'll show her. Me & my breasts are now getting the hell out of here. I can be short & to the point, too. Maybe I "will" give her a piece of my mind. She deserves to know she just ain't cool, right? Wrong. My next thought was, "my sister, my sister, my sister...it ain't goin' down like that. . .don't let it happen."

Dangit! I'm thinking, you're right--*ahem* I'm right.

So, placing the strap of my purse on my shoulder & with my dignity firmly intact, I looked at ms mean old hag; smiled, and said, "thank you, and you have a nice day, ya hear?"

Random thought for the day: If you don't like working with the public, STOP FREAKIN' WORKING WITH THE PUBLIC. DUH! THE PUBLIC DOESN'T NEED YOUR NASTY AZZ ATTITUDE.

word.
quote:
Random thought for the day: If you don't like working with the public, STOP FREAKIN' WORKING WITH THE PUBLIC. DUH! THE PUBLIC DOESN'T NEED YOUR NASTY AZZ ATTITUDE.


Smile very well said. appl I'll especially remember that today. Wink

I work with the 'public' every day and mostly really enjoy it and most days try to treat my customers like best friends... but there are some days and some customers that make me want to stck Big Grin

However, I work in retail, which is waaaaaaaaaaaaay different to a health situation... ESPECIALLY one where people are already feeling stressed and anxious... esp. going for breast scans which are damn uncomfortable - yes, they do hurt - and you're busy trying to prepare yourself for any negative results and wishing you'd done a few more breast examinations in the past.

I couldn't work in a nursing/health role - it would stress me out way too much. I'd hate to have that woman's job, and in such a stressful environment (imagine all the women she tests who DO have malignances Frown ) but that doesn't excuse such nasty, mean behaviour.
Firefly, I work with the public myself and I know that people can get on your last damn nerve. spank And I've dealt with folks on some of the worse levels...

But you have to maintain a professional demeanor at all times, imo. That is what *I* do when dealing with John & Jan Doe citizen. In fact, when I deal with a difficult person, it is very rare for me to take it out on the next person I encounter. The woman in my post needs retraining [in the area of customer service?], imho.

She did not extend basic common courtesy. Whatever her problem was/is, *I* had nothing to do with it.

Anyway, I agree with your following comment--well said: but that doesn't excuse such nasty, mean behaviour.

*snip*
quote:
Originally posted by msprettygirl:
quote:
Originally posted by Khalliqa:
are you saying there are no quality men anywhere you frequent?


No, i'm not saying that necessarily. I did say when the time was right it would happen because, I'm sure there are some quality men out there in those places i frequent i'm just not meeting them yet. Those that i have met, that were quality, were already taken-married or in a relationship. I should have clarified that a little better i guess. The problem is finding quality, AVAILABLE men.


lol.... the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, yes?

okay... I see what you're saying..

would you like to finish our previous conversation? We can take it back to PM if you like...

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