quote:
Originally posted by ShayaButHer:
Lady,

They say that no one does it to us like our family. While this event was harrowing for you, your brother and the mother/stepfather, this was only one event in time. You get to start over again each second. This event does not have to define you, nor does it have to be the end all of your RelationShip with your brother.

Even though your brother hit you first, go to him and apologize for your part in it. Even if he blames it all on you, apologize for your own sake and vow to never go there again with him.

Maybe it would help you to think about what led up to the event and really look at how your emotions got to the point that they did. By looking back upon what happened, you can see triggers that you can either avoid or try to manage for the next time you get angry like that.

One thing that may help in the anger area is this: "anger is one letter away from danger"...when you feel it (anger), remember that. Opt to exercise self control by thinking of all of the things that keep you in control (i.e....the grace to have woken up that morning, gratitude for a good job, thankfulness for good RelationShips, a goal recently met, etc).

"Wisdom Is An Understanding Woman!"


Thank you so much for the advice... I'm slowly but surely coming to terms with what happened, with the help of my husband. I took sometime to talk to my great grandmother about what had happened because she can bring clarity to anything for me. We talked and she got me to understanding what exactly happened and just gave me a new point of view to look at it from. I've decided to just not talk to my brother for a while...It would be better for me and my sanity because although the wounds on the outside are going to heal and fade, the ones on my heart are going to be there for a long long time. But thanks for the advice again, that trigger thing especially. Smile
quote:
Originally posted by EbonyRose:
@ Ms.Tru ...

I had a fight with my (older) brother when I was just a teenager, too! He gave me a black eye, I stole and hid his car and then came home and ripped his waterbed into shreds. sck


Whoa! That's crazy. My bro and I broke a few pieces of glass and I scratched a chunk of his face off, he smacked the hell out of me. I'm not going to lie there is a part of me that feels like the job is not done and I need to go back and really whoop his tail.

Shoot, though I never fight with my older brothers. Not even when we were kids, I was the only girl and they catered to me. My older brother from my mom's side, called and yelled at me this morning because Ma had finally gotten in touch with him to tell what had happened.

quote:

We live within minutes of each other and talk on the phone almost everyday now. Smile Time heals wounds. Just give yourself (and your brother) a lot of it. As much as it takes. And pray that things will get better!


I hope so and thank you for the prayer. I'm happy that you and your brother were able to work things out.
quote:
Originally posted by tru2urself16:
quote:
Originally posted by ShayaButHer:
Lady,

They say that no one does it to us like our family. While this event was harrowing for you, your brother and the mother/stepfather, this was only one event in time. You get to start over again each second. This event does not have to define you, nor does it have to be the end all of your RelationShip with your brother.

Even though your brother hit you first, go to him and apologize for your part in it. Even if he blames it all on you, apologize for your own sake and vow to never go there again with him.

Maybe it would help you to think about what led up to the event and really look at how your emotions got to the point that they did. By looking back upon what happened, you can see triggers that you can either avoid or try to manage for the next time you get angry like that.

One thing that may help in the anger area is this: "anger is one letter away from danger"...when you feel it (anger), remember that. Opt to exercise self control by thinking of all of the things that keep you in control (i.e....the grace to have woken up that morning, gratitude for a good job, thankfulness for good RelationShips, a goal recently met, etc).

"Wisdom Is An Understanding Woman!"


Thank you so much for the advice... I'm slowly but surely coming to terms with what happened, with the help of my husband. I took sometime to talk to my great grandmother about what had happened because she can bring clarity to anything for me. We talked and she got me to understanding what exactly happened and just gave me a new point of view to look at it from. I've decided to just not talk to my brother for a while...It would be better for me and my sanity because although the wounds on the outside are going to heal and fade, the ones on my heart are going to be there for a long long time. But thanks for the advice again, that trigger thing especially. Smile


Anytime, lady...

I hope things are going better...

"Wisdom Is A Woman!"
quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:
quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:
A little later in the morning, I'm standing on my balcony having my morning coffee.

A white lady drives by, stops, reverses, pulls up in front of me, rolls down her window, and accuses me of stalking her daughter ... and if anything happens to her daughter ...

I put 2 and 2 together ... and realized that I was now dealing with white woman paranoia in the wake of the missing white girl blues ...

I set her straight.

Now I'm just angry.

Still a little sad.



I will add that I have absolutely no idea of what she was talking about ... and clearly expressed to her that I was sorry if her daughter (who I don't know or have never even seen to my knowledge) felt threatened ... but I really don't appreciate being accused of something I know I'm not guilty of ... sck


17
Life is really good...

I am grateful for my breathe this day; grateful to hear this new song I've never head before...

Today I had an opportunity to aid a friend in Dubai. He is working on his Master's degree in Theology. He asked me to help him correct some things in his thesis...he wrote a wonderful paper and I loved the way he really "dug in" to get at the Truth...many people don't do that when it comes to studying God.
He was previously Muslim and is now Christian; a serious switch up given where he is and how he was raised.

Then, I was able to read a brother's thoughts on a Man's ability to "keep honoring" the Women that come into his life. He was talking about how Women dress these days and how it can pose a struggle for Men who are trying to rise above lusting after Women all day long. He posted a letter from another brotha who had changed his life around, and he too talked about not wanting to struggle sexually. To rise above what the flesh wants is an amazing feat.

To master and not be mastered; that is true freedom.

Just when you think the world has totally and completely lost the rest of its mind, you see the nuggets...you see the diamonds in the rough struggling to shine, to exceed their worldly price tag and truly live up to their Original Value.

After that, I had to talk to my boo bear about his behavior....lol...and then it was on to the kitty, "I love you, but you WILL NOT scratch my furniture! You got that cat???" I have been training the kitty by squirting him with the water bottle when he does SomeThing he is not supposed to be doing. He's getting the point...and he seemed guilty when I talked to him! LOL...a guilty kitty???

Too funny!

Then I talked to my little sister...she is "upset" about the fact that I've started an online church. "You can't hold people accountable if they just go online...they aren't having Bible studies! Just because you believe you got a message from God does not mean that you did!"

I laughed my butt off...passionate one she is! But very wrong she is, too. "I can not judge another man's servant," I told her. "It is up to God to judge, not me. I just get the message and put it out there; it is between them and God if they do or do not get it."

For Real!

Then a co-worker called me to see if I would work for her this evening....I specifically told her that I can not cover for her on Wednesdays, given that this day is the Sabbath for us....I believe that she just does not want to work given that the severe snow storm is coming.

...it has been a good day and I am looking forward to some rest and relaxation.

"Wisdom Is Always A Woman Reflecting!"
When I met with my attorney the other day, he came around from his desk to sit in the chair next to me.

He was drawing a chart of figures, and as he'd lean toward me to point out something in the chart, I noticed that his breath was foul. Eek

The man's breath smelled so bad, I couldn't focus on anything he was saying.

When he called this morning, I thought about. . .

how bad his breath was the last time I saw him.

and well. . .

*shudder* ek
quote:
Originally posted by Santana St. Cloud:
quote:
When he called this morning, I thought about. . .


I thought you were going to say you could smell his breath over the phone. Razz


lol

practically.

Damn, I feel guilty talking about him this way, he's such a help with my finances & business contracts.

I'm gonna go to hell for this, ain't I?

OMG!!! I'm begging forgiveness as we speak. bow

And did I say attorney?

my bad.

I meant a friend of a friend of a friend. LOL
I have cramps.

PAINFUL menstrual cramps.

They're not usually this bad, but OMIGAWD!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm in freakin' pain city here.

Why. . .why. . .why?!?! bang

I can't decide which hurts worse, my lower back or lower obdominals.Eek

I feel like crying [hormones?] but I know crying won't change a damn thing. I even resorted to taking meds. . .I HAD to take something. . .and so far. . .NO relief.

My body has betrayed me.

And I take care of it so well, too.

go figure. 7
I've been having crazy thoughts recently. My older sister is pregnant with her first child and my older brother's girlfriend is pregnant also. I'm trippin' because recently I've been having those "baby" thoughts. I want kids very much, but first I want to finish my education so that I can be able to provide for them. Oh, but recently I've had the biggest urges to be a mom. I even had a dream about a little boy with my eyes and my husband's nose and mouth. I've got a plan and having babies don't start for another five years. I think I need a vaction because being overworked is the only thing I can think of that would explain my sudden urge for all things baby.
Ma'at hotep Family

May GOD, THE CREATOR, be with you always. The whole system (capitalism) sucks. Have you ever heard of medical facility losing money? GM, Ford, and Chrysler are losing money but not the health industry. Why? It's a business just like the auto industry. The medical industry, because of our good pal Ronald Reagan, is not regulated therefore they can charge what ever the hell they want for health care. The health care industry is in the business of making money and nothing else. Your health is a concern only if you can afford the treatment. GOD help you if you don't have health insurance. The doctors in this country are raking in millions while the providers and suppliers are raking in billions. It's the free enterprise system meaning you have to pay to collect the 'prise'. There's nothing free. The kicker: when doctors were allowed to open 'health care centers' in lieu of hospitals. First you go to a doctor, who sends you to a medical center who then sends you to a hospital. After that you owe so many different medical facilities,'specialist' and the administrative cost that you get even sicker. You get medicine for a proplem. Then you get another type of medicine because the first medicine creates other problems. You might get another medicine to offset the second medicine. You may eventually take three or four medicine's when you only had one problem. And the cost? Astronomical. It's the 'free enterprise' system and it works for the greedy but not the needy. A testiment to this is the troop return from the 'war' (if you can call it that) in Iraq. Fighting for their country? No, fighting for the system. Hotep

Olu Olifemi Chike
Tavis Smiley keeps begging Obama to appear on his state of the black covenant show. Tavis you need to shut the fuck up, man. Mothafucka still crying over Johnson cussing him out and dropping him from BET. GET OVER IT! Obama does not need to be labeled as having a black agenda and appearing on Smiley's show will surely spell the end of Obama's momentum.

Why do negroes want to sabbatoge Obama's political career? Every negro and they grandmamma was ready for Jessie Jackson's self-proclaimed champion of black people, opportunistic ass to be our next president, so what the fuck is the problem now?
quote:
Originally posted by Romulus Burnett:
Tavis Smiley keeps begging Obama to appear on his state of the black covenant show. Tavis you need to shut the fuck up, man. Mothafucka still crying over Johnson cussing him out and dropping him from BET. GET OVER IT! Obama does not need to be labeled as having a black agenda and appearing on Smiley's show will surely spell the end of Obama's momentum.

Why do negroes want to sabbatoge Obama's political career? Every negro and they grandmamma was ready for Jessie Jackson's self-proclaimed champion of black people, opportunistic ass to be our next president, so what the fuck is the problem now?


Why don't you tell the whole damn story, Romulus?? Confused

Nevamind ... I'll do it myself. Roll Eyes
Ma'at Hotep Family
May GOD, THE CREATOR, be with you always. Tavis and Jesse (I am sombody) are not true Black Afrikans. Jesse is a part of the establishment and Tavis is an anglo-saxon-negro. They both are. Tavis wanted to cut off sista Julia Hare when she was at the 'State of the Black Union' affair. He did not want her to dis white amerikkka and his white amerikkkan friends. Jesse, who is on the 'Council of Foreign Affairs's; a group that doe's not have Afrikans in amerikkka in their best interest. He and his son are sell-outs.

Jessee is a johnny-come-lately anglo-saxon-negro and Tavis is a hanger-on-negro. Obama doe's not need to go on Tavis show to prove anything to anybody. White amerikkka will prove whether Obama is Black enough. Obama doesn't need Jessee or Tavis. Hotep.

Olu Olufemi Chike
I think my youngest brother needs anger management. I keep telling him that a black man (in amercia) CANNOT afford to lose his temper as easily as he (my brother) seems to.

He never listens to me, though, supposedly I am just a bleeding heart worried about nothing Roll Eyes. . .

but the truth is. . .

I DO worry about my brother.

I love him and I want him to live a long healthy, & happy life. He's a good guy, he just has a bit of a temper.
Ma'at Hotep Family

May GOD, THE CREATOR, be with you always. Someone needs to find out why our youth, especially our young brothas, are so full of anger and resentment. The jails are full of young brothas because of this problem. Instead of being kool when they are stopped by the gestapo police, they do exactly what the gestapo wants and expects them to do. Now they have an excuse to kick their behinds (or kill them) and throw them in jail along with older and roughter bros who may be in there for some serious crimes. These young brothers don't realize that now they have a record. I've seen young bros say they don't care about going to jail until they land in jail and then its a different story. Some cry like babies but it's too late. In the sixties, there was love. With this generation, it's different. Folk like to blame the gangta rap CD's, video's and DVD's. Perhaps. If we, as Afrikans in amerikkka, don't find a way to bring some stability to our youth and do it quickly, we will have a generation of malcontents with little of no education and produce more criminals whose worth is invalidated. I personally know youth just like the young bro. described by Fabulous. They need our help. Who has the answers? The church should have them but they are too busy clocking dollars than truly saving souls. Prayer helps but action is what is needed. Hotep.

Olu Olufemi Chike
So I see this guy on the subway with a dozen red roses and a big ass Valentine's Day card w/o an envelope. Thing is, it's Feb. 15th! So, I'm wondering, "did he do this because he knew it would all be half-price today? Did his baby mama cuss him out for not coming through on Feb. 14th?" I deduced the baby mama; he wasn't wearing a wedding ring, and he was carrying diapers.

Heck, one of my favorite days of the year is Feb. 15th. Chocolates are 50% off. Big Grin
Gotta write this review for Roots... I don't know how to really start it. It's supposed to be from a young person's point of view but I want to incorporate my boyfriend's opinions...

I can't believe how much he loved the movie. Never would have thought he'd get so animated about it. In a way it makes me feel proud. Smile

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