fro 20@HonestBrother: I get that ALL the time [the please do not turn over paper UNTIL "I" say so]. No matter what I do...TYPE IT on the reverse side.....give a five minute review with STRICT instructions not to TURN over "your" paper. I say it BEFORE and AFTER the review, "Do not turn over your paper until I say SO!" But! Do they ever listen? Nawl. It happens. Everytime. Some will even start writing on the exam while I'm still passing them out. I'm not even gonna go through the questions asked during the testing period-it will take entirely tooo long! But I definitely feel ya.... This "bang" is the BEST way to describe the frustation. fro
Hotep Family,
I have not seen the movie nor do I intend to see it unless it comes on cable. I must admit that I am not into Xmas period. I perfer to see a 'Black' movie about 'Black' people rather than a 'Black' movie that could have easily been written about white people but played by Black people. Our culture and lifes styles are different and should not be viewed that way but acutally played out that way. Hotep. Olu Olufemi CLhike.
quote:
Originally posted by Kocolicious:
fro 20@HonestBrother: I get that ALL the time [the please do not turn over paper UNTIL "I" say so]. No matter what I do...TYPE IT on the reverse side.....give a five minute review with STRICT instructions not to TURN over "your" paper. I say it BEFORE and AFTER the review, "Do not turn over your paper until I say SO!" But! Do they ever listen? Nawl. It happens. Everytime. Some will even start writing on the exam while I'm still passing them out. I'm not even gonna go through the questions asked during the testing period-it will take entirely tooo long! But I definitely feel ya.... This "bang" is the BEST way to describe the frustation. fro

Well the final I am giving is Thursday. That means my office hours this week are going to inundated with folk who have not done anything all semester. I have already been getting e-mails from students. Last week was awful , the only good thing was that one of the student groups giving a presentation brought fried chicken for the class. dance
quote:
Originally posted by kresge:
quote:
Originally posted by Kocolicious:
fro 20@HonestBrother: I get that ALL the time [the please do not turn over paper UNTIL "I" say so]. No matter what I do...TYPE IT on the reverse side.....give a five minute review with STRICT instructions not to TURN over "your" paper. I say it BEFORE and AFTER the review, "Do not turn over your paper until I say SO!" But! Do they ever listen? Nawl. It happens. Everytime. Some will even start writing on the exam while I'm still passing them out. I'm not even gonna go through the questions asked during the testing period-it will take entirely tooo long! But I definitely feel ya.... This "bang" is the BEST way to describe the frustation. fro

Well the final I am giving is Thursday. That means my office hours this week are going to inundated with folk who have not done anything all semester. I have already been getting e-mails from students. Last week was awful , the only good thing was that one of the student groups giving a presentation brought fried chicken for the class. dance


Eek fried chicken?!?! Eek

just kidding 4
There are so many people depending on me [in one way or another], until, I procrastinate in the face of all the demands placed on me and my time.

I don't 'like' feeling this way because everything feels out of order.

All day today, I avoided telling people how I REALLY felt. . .

It was easier to say nothing at all. . .

however. . .

I am overwhelmed and

I wanted to tell them all, "LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE"

BUT! I made promises that I intend to keep, and if nothing else, I am a woman of my word [well, I try to be].

bang
fro I've been running like a mad woman to get everything DONE. I had four meetings and it's ONLY Thursday....in my attempt to be prepared and organized. Finals are approaching and I am working hard to GET everything ready in time. Plus the holiday parties and the toy drive....all accomodations need to be completed by today....EXCEPT! NOT TODAY as I thought. But get this: NEXT WEEK! bang OMG once I realized I was moving ahead of myself...I said "SELF slow. DOWN!" fro
fro All last week, meetings and toy giveaway have been the spirit of the season. Already we have given away at least 200 toys to local parks, libraries, recreational centers, schools and juvnile detention centers. With still more to go this week.Eek Responds have been positive, at least from the younger children....the teens well that's another story. We went to a local park and began giving away gifts at random, one teen approached one of the assistants and asked for either an Ipod or a chocolate. When she said chocolate I thought she was talking about "candy." Eek I said we have plenty of chocolate candy in the gift stocking....she turned her nose up and began cussing...trying to appear COOL! While her peers were scrambling to receive one of the items we were giving away, she retreated to that "adolescent arrogance" appropriate for her age group. As she saw others excited about their gifts, she began warming up to the idea of settling for what was offered but! Too late. There are NO rewards for BAD behavior-which I told her. She was outwardly angry...but silent nonetheless. There were a few of these ungratefuls, but there were plenty of appreciative kids as well-younger children and TEENS. To my surprise, most of them embraced the holiday spirit... Am I tired? Hell yeah. This is my FIRST attempt to use the computer in six or seven days. I am up to my ears in video games, dolls, skates etc... Most of the money was as a result of fundraising from the community which began this "pain-saking asking for christmas donation task" back in the heights of the Jena Six controversy meetings. I thought most of it was just TALK[which I am used to Roll Eyes]...but to my amazement their fundraising efforts afforded/added to some nice gifts for the kids this year! The real kick off will be this Saturday....we will have a raffle hopefully if all goes well....and we will be giving away "scholarship" money not a lot of money but enough to buy books the first semester of college. I am sooo proud of these EVERY DAY folks....cuz it proves over and over that you don't have to have a DEGREE/MASTERS/PH.D. to do amazing things for your community....all you have to have is HEART and the desire to do it and the willingness to see it through to the next level of accomplishment. That's all. Just the WILLINGNESS to see it through. fro
I am so grateful for my life...for my child...for everything that my Creator does for me daily. I am grateful for spiritual growth...

I am grateful for the friends I have and the friends I have yet to make...I am grateful for being able to share.

I am grateful for the life experiences given to me...for being able to overcome, for being comfortable within my own skin, for being able to "move on" continually in life....

I am grateful for hope...and gratitude...and faith...and love...and honesty...and loyalty...and richness of life...

I am grateful for my very breath...

I am grateful for the positive people in this forum and others...

I am grateful for work...for not having someone over my back at all times...for progress on my business...for the ability to make unlimited potential come to the fore....

I am grateful for my health...and for my child's health...I am grateful for the state of our "family" and thankful for every day that I get to enjoy my son on this earth...

I am grateful for having a clean slate daily...

I am grateful for strong reserves...

I am grateful for our kitty...lol...he provides hours and hours and hours of entertainment for my son...

I am grateful for having a warm place to live...I am grateful for lights, for water, for clothing, for the very food we eat...I am grateful for being able to have the time to do some of the things we'd like to do daily...

I am grateful for my elders, and for my peers, and for my mother, and for my sisters and for my brother..and for my aunts, uncles, cousins, etc...

I am grateful for music...love me some Common, and India, and Alisha, and Chaka, and Fantasia, and Mya, and believe it or not sometimes Snoop (lol)...love me some Vaughn, Fitzgerald, Wilson, Holiday, Simone, Cruz, Dion, Furtado, Isley's, Marvin, Grover Washington,Jr, Jereau, Nat, Najee, Marsalis, Redman, etc...

I am grateful for comedy...love me some Steve Harvey Show in the morning and some "One on One" and "Proud Family" re-runs from time to time...."You Know!" & "I have not seen Pennytentiary today..." LOL...love that theme song too, "So Dysfunctional"....

I am grateful for the movies and can't wait to see The Debaters on Christmas...can't wait to see Will in his new movie...I am waiting on Angela Bassett to do another movie...LOL...

I am grateful for single parents...we do so much for our children and get so much flack for being single parents...but we still push on, ensuring that our kids grow up to be great contributors to our society verses school yard terrorists...

I am grateful for being to sleep safely and soundly at night...

I am grateful for this small amount of time that I was able to go over almost everything I am grateful for.

"Wisdom Is Always A Woman Filled With Gratitude!"
fro I was angry yesterday about the grave robbers situation...I really didn't participate in the raffle giveaway...my heart WAS NOT in it[and I'm glad I wasn't the one overseeing this event so....] I only stayed for a few seconds and left! But they were JAMMING! Music was good. Old school stuff. I noticed a mother dealing with her ungrateful teen. You could tell he is a gang banger and was there just cuz he had to BE. Otherwise, he would probably be getting into trouble somewhere. I don't profess to be a know-it-all....quite frankly there are a lot of things in this world I know nothing about. However, what I do know is "kids." Cuz the development of human beings HAVE NOT changed over the years. In fact, since the creation of "beings." You still have to crawl before you walk, move from childhood to adolescence to adulthood and all that blah blah-this human process happens the SAME WAY all over the world. Having said that, I could see that the mother was having a problem....as I was exiting I told her "this too shall past".... her tired eyes was an indication she was at her wit's end. She said she gave him everything....had his own room with cable....didn't have to WALK to school....he even had a little job. She couldn't figure out what was the HELL wrong with him. I said "typical adolescent snobbishness....as a result of unbalanced hormones, growing spurts, cognitive arranging and rearranging....in other words...he's trying to figure out WHO HE IS in all of this (as his body grows and develop into its physical permanent state.) Normal. Your role as a parent is to CHANNEL all this constructively....and be the BOSS...not the FRIEND. Kids have enough FRIENDS. They need parents who can BOSS them around so they can develop their social skills....cuz in life everyone has a BOSS one time or another...like it or not. This is the WAY OF THE WORLD. I also told her to take the reins away from him. He hasn't earned them. He is STILL a child no matter if he is 6'5. Take back your CONTROL. You can tell she loves her son. But love him enough to SAVE him from his own stupidity. Cuz teens not all teens are STUPID at this age. No matter what walk of life they derived. I didn't talk to her too long cuz I really DON'T like talking about the child in front of the child. Not a good thing, in my opinion. But what I did do was ask the young man did he want his life. He rolled his eyes. I said "well there are a lot of people who want their lives and could use your healthy kidneys, liver and other organs-since it seems you don't appreciate having them." No response from him. Typical. Not important. For me the important thing was to plant that seed. To give him something to think about. I don't care if he looked me up and down...and frowned. Care less! What do I care about is one day [when he's about 24 or 25] he can look at his mother straight in the eyes with all sincerity and heart...and say lovingly "thankyou for NOT giving up on me. Your love SAVED my life. And I am so grateful." That's what is important to me....that he will BE HERE to say that to his mother some day...cuz there are SOOOO many young black boys/men [just like him] today...who CANNOT.fro
quote:
Originally posted by Kocolicious:
I noticed a mother dealing with her ungrateful teen. You could tell he is a gang banger and was there just cuz he had to BE. Otherwise, he would probably be getting into trouble somewhere. I don't profess to be a know-it-all....quite frankly there are a lot of things in this world I know nothing about. However, what I do know is "kids."



~A gangbanger who still shows enough respect for his mother/parent to show up somewhere where he doesn't want to be just because the parent says so and wants him to, is still reachable. All hope is not nearly lost. Tell her to start THERE --- with a pat on her own back that she's instilled that in him, and a pat on his back for giving her at least that much (because it could be worse; he could have ZERO respect for her wishes). Accentuate the postive, start right there and proceed with baby steps. Grasp at that positive and milk the hell out of it. Don't just gloss over it and go straight for the negative. By all means, do get TO the negative --- don't ignore it --- but, all that fussing and harping can fall on completely deaf ears if you don't give him his due. He'll hear her "better". I think it's heartwarming that he showed up for her. appl....A gangbanger? Listening to mamma when she tells him to be somewhere?! appl That's too cute!~
fro @BlackButterfly....next time, I'll take YOU!Big Grin I'm tired. Too tired! You sound like you know how to handle them. I'm not jealous....there's enough to go around. Believe me! BTW....it was NEVER negative...my methods/approachs are HARDCORE....like they say...I was keeping it REAL. [like in REAL LIFE] He had to be there cuz he is a MINOR...and his mother is STILL in control of his life...true there are bangers who defy their parents....but some outreach programs are MANDATORY for them to be present...especially if it's court appointed. But this is RANDOM THOUGHTS...AND rhetorical....I wasn't REALLY seeking suggestions/or advice. It's too late for that. Just tellin' it how it went...is all. BUT! It's good to know you know what to do with these bangers when necessary...eh? Good for you!Wink fro
During my notorious "Wait 'til the last minute to get presents for those people I just couldn't think of what to buy them" shopping, I went to a Taco Bell. I was jammin' to some Al Green - Love & Happiness at the time, but, not to be ghetto, I turned it down as I ordered and drove around to the pay window.

When I pulled up to the next window, a woman slid open the little door and took my money and handed me my drink. At this point a young man walked over and looked at me and then said something her that I could hear. He stepped away and when I looked up, she asked me if I would mind turning up my music just a little. I reached for the knob and cranked it up ... and the next thing I know, she and the young man and somebody who I think was the cook, just started to dancin' and a singin' and popping their fingers!! Eek

There was nobody behind me, so I threw up the emergency brake and sat there and let them get their dance on! They were having such a good time, they got me to finger-popping and head-shaking myself!! Big Grin

Just before the song was over, another car pulled up behind me, and I didn't want to be rude, so it was time to go. But they each thanked me and waved Merry Christmas as I was leaving. It wasn't exactly traditional Nat King Cole .. but, I think I was able to spread a little Christmas cheer today! And that was nice! Smile
You know, Ms. Koco ... the BEST part of it was just seeing how happy they were! Smile They were smiling and really enjoying themselves ... something you don't see enough of these days! So it was really cool.

And yeah, I just made me one of those Xmas CD's this morning, too! I've got a load of cooking that I've gotta do .. and without Luther and Nat and The Supremes and little Mikey Jackson and his crew spurring me on ... it's just not going to get done in time! Big Grin

So now I'm armed and I'm ready! cabbage
EbonyRose...

That story put a smile on my face....thank you!

My random thought for today: I am so grateful for life. Each year, really each day, it seems I feel more and more grateful and I know it's because I see so many stories on the news about people who didn't make it...either right before their birthday's or right before their marriages or right before a new year...

I look around me every day and am so grateful for every second of living...it is such a blessing to be alive and to be "able"...

I don't ever want to waste any time, if I can help it.

"Wisdom Is Always A Woman Who Recognizes Her Protection!"
I was starting to think there must be a Beyonce's New World Dictionary (Ghetto Ed.). I mean, other than her songs, where else would I find words and idioms like "automobills", "freakum dress", and "get me bodied"?

Then I checked urbandictionary.com. There are definitions for all of these!

Sorry, B. Frown
I'm very disappointed in some of my family members.

Some are snobs, some are bourgeois, and SOME. . .

are just too damn selfish to be real. Eek

ANDDDDDDDDDDDD, it's the selfish ones who offend me the most.

I want to shake them and say, "who the HELL are you to be so g.ddamn selfish. . .

get over your damn self."

Really. . .

I have a serious problem with selfish people who think everything in life is about THEM and how 'they' FEEL and what 'they' NEED.

please.

I know for a fact. . .

their shyt stinks worse than others.

thank goodness a person isn't responsible for 'who' their blood relatives are, cuz just knowing these folks have the same blood that I do [running through their veins] would most definitely scare the hell outta me. Eek

To those relatives I say: Y'all should STOP BEING SO G.DDAMN SELFISH, CAUSE IT AIN'T ALL ABOUT YOU!
quote:
Originally posted by FireFly:
quote:
I am so grateful for being able to see another year... - ShayaButHer


I was so impressed/moved by your previous list of reasons to be grateful that I wrote my own. Thank you & Happy 2008! Smile



Awww....Lady, I am glad that we both lived to see this New Year and that we have the good sense to be ThankFul for what we have....

Happy 2008!

thanks

"Wisdom Is Always An Acknowledging Woman!"
fro Although african history is my field/thang almost since birth. It's been awhile since I cracked open a book on the subject. Black History is approaching with book reports galore coming at me.... I really DON'T have the kinda time I used to....to read two or three books a week simulateously....BUT! I am going to make an effort. All these books I have in my library...gosh I don't know where to start. But will! Just to catch up. One of my many "realistic" resolutions! Even though some of these books are HARD reading... I WILL make the time! I will begin sometime soon. Those of you who are interested in what book I've selected will see it in my blog in a few days. So....here I go! fro
It's been a strange morning.

I wake up at 5 and can't get back to sleep. So I turn on the tv to watch the one channel on which I get clear reception.

The news is on and they're talking about a missing female hiker in Georgia - now assumed to be dead.

I'm half paying attention and at first I just roll my eyes and think oh great ... missing white girl blues again ... I've heard this song one too many times.

Then I start paying attention ... I hear her name ... and think ... that sounds familiar... I've heard that name before ...

Then they show her picture ...

Lightbulb goes off.

That girl was in one of my classes when I lived in Georgia! Eek

I remember her too. She was a very bright student.

Rolling eyes turned to sadness.

A little later in the morning, I'm standing on my balcony having my morning coffee.

A white lady drives by, stops, reverses, pulls up in front of me, rolls down her window, and accuses me of stalking her daughter ... and if anything happens to her daughter ...

I put 2 and 2 together ... and realized that I was now dealing with white woman paranoia in the wake of the missing white girl blues ...

I set her straight.

Now I'm just angry.

Still a little sad.
quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:
A little later in the morning, I'm standing on my balcony having my morning coffee.

A white lady drives by, stops, reverses, pulls up in front of me, rolls down her window, and accuses me of stalking her daughter ... and if anything happens to her daughter ...

I put 2 and 2 together ... and realized that I was now dealing with white woman paranoia in the wake of the missing white girl blues ...

I set her straight.

Now I'm just angry.

Still a little sad.



I will add that I have absolutely no idea of what she was talking about ... and clearly expressed to her that I was sorry if her daughter (who I don't know or have never even seen to my knowledge) felt threatened ... but I really don't appreciate being accused of something I know I'm not guilty of ... sck
My little brother (who is 17) and I got into a really big physical fight over the weekend. I don't even know how it started. It's just that he's always... he takes after our birth father even though he's never spent any time with him. I'm still reeling from the whole thing. I mean we were fighting like two strangers. I have always been in his corner; I stood up for him when everyone in our family was saying... I'm the one person who took him in when my mother put him out because he got into it with her. No one else, not even those who claim to be so crazy about him, offered to let him stay. I'm sad not only for me, but for my mom because it took her and my stepfather to break us apart. I'm really at the point where I'm washing my hands of him. I prayed, begged God that we would be nothing like that man, but that night I saw him in my baby brother. And what scares the hell out of me is that I saw him in myself for the first time. I wanted to do serious damage to that little boy and would have had my mother and pops not been there. That scares me more than anything, to know that I could hurt somebody I love like that. I'm trying really really hard not to crawl inside myself and pull away from everyone because of that fear. I keep think what if my husband and I ever get into anything serious, will I turn to violence like I did with my brother... true he did hit me first, but I hit him back and kept hitting. How am I supposed to help anyone when I'm hurting and scared and unsure and just not in the position to give an advice to anyone about anything?
quote:
Originally posted by tru2urself16:
My little brother (who is 17) and I got into a really big physical fight over the weekend. I don't even know how it started. It's just that he's always... he takes after our birth father even though he's never spent any time with him. I'm still reeling from the whole thing. I mean we were fighting like two strangers. I have always been in his corner; I stood up for him when everyone in our family was saying... I'm the one person who took him in when my mother put him out because he got into it with her. No one else, not even those who claim to be so crazy about him, offered to let him stay. I'm sad not only for me, but for my mom because it took her and my stepfather to break us apart. I'm really at the point where I'm washing my hands of him. I prayed, begged God that we would be nothing like that man, but that night I saw him in my baby brother. And what scares the hell out of me is that I saw him in myself for the first time. I wanted to do serious damage to that little boy and would have had my mother and pops not been there. That scares me more than anything, to know that I could hurt somebody I love like that. I'm trying really really hard not to crawl inside myself and pull away from everyone because of that fear. I keep think what if my husband and I ever get into anything serious, will I turn to violence like I did with my brother... true he did hit me first, but I hit him back and kept hitting. How am I supposed to help anyone when I'm hurting and scared and unsure and just not in the position to give an advice to anyone about anything?


Lady,

They say that no one does it to us like our family. While this event was harrowing for you, your brother and the mother/stepfather, this was only one event in time. You get to start over again each second. This event does not have to define you, nor does it have to be the end all of your RelationShip with your brother.

Even though your brother hit you first, go to him and apologize for your part in it. Even if he blames it all on you, apologize for your own sake and vow to never go there again with him.

Maybe it would help you to think about what led up to the event and really look at how your emotions got to the point that they did. By looking back upon what happened, you can see triggers that you can either avoid or try to manage for the next time you get angry like that.

One thing that may help in the anger area is this: "anger is one letter away from danger"...when you feel it (anger), remember that. Opt to exercise self control by thinking of all of the things that keep you in control (i.e....the grace to have woken up that morning, gratitude for a good job, thankfulness for good RelationShips, a goal recently met, etc).

"Wisdom Is An Understanding Woman!"
@ Ms.Tru ...

I had a fight with my (older) brother when I was just a teenager, too! He gave me a black eye, I stole and hid his car and then came home and ripped his waterbed into shreds. sck

We live within minutes of each other and talk on the phone almost everyday now. Smile Time heals wounds. Just give yourself (and your brother) a lot of it. As much as it takes. And pray that things will get better!

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