Am i a horrible daughter?? ConfusedI live with my grandmother and moved with her after hurricane Katrina, my mom and sister moved to Maine with my other grandmother and have been living there since after Katrina. My mom and sister are coming back down here to live next week and they will also be living at my grandmothers for a while. Am i a horrible daughter for not being excited about this, I mean not in the least? The last time i saw them was for my graduation in May for a week and before that i hadn't seen them since Jan. (also my sister is only 11).
It has less to do with being "horrible" and more about working out the reason why you feel that way.
Maybe it's just you've enjoyed your grandmother's (undivided attention or special connection???) company and maybe a taste of independance, and you know the dynamics may change when the others arrive.
I don't think it's sinister. It's hard for families not to fall into (previous) patterns of behaviour, even when the people have outgrown certain ways of doing and being. IMO 'politics' begins at home - and family politics can be more powerful and persuasive than any other kind. Hang in there. Smile
quote:
Originally posted by FireFly:
It has less to do with being "horrible" and more about working out the reason why you feel that way.
Maybe it's just you've enjoyed your grandmother's (undivided attention or special connection???) company and maybe a taste of independance, and you know the dynamics may change when the others arrive.
I don't think it's sinister. It's hard for families not to fall into (previous) patterns of behaviour, even when the people have outgrown certain ways of doing and being. IMO 'politics' begins at home - and family politics can be more powerful and persuasive than any other kind. Hang in there. Smile


Your absolutely right. It's mostly about independance. I lived with her prior to Katrina and she wants me to move with her again now sck Eek when she comes down and gets settled with a job.
When I encounter stuck up, snobbish type negros, I am reminded of the HouseNegro.

While more "acceptable" to the masta [& not taking anything away from the lighter skinned brothers & sisters]... it was black folk like Harriet Tubman who got out there, and did what needed to be done, at the time. Harriet didn't advertise, "look at me, look what I do, look what I am" ... she merely did what she had to do. Yep, a brown skin black woman...not as "articulate" ... not as "acceptable" as the HouseNegro, or as "intelligent" to some ways of thinking ... but Harriet didn't let any of that stop her.

Who is anyone [and I'm speaking specifically of black folk] to judge themselves "better" or another as not "good enough?"

All sh*t stinks -- even YOURS.

When it comes right down to it, regardless of how many advanced degrees you may have ... when the po po stop your azz, you are STILL just another "N" to them.
quote:
Originally posted by Fabulous:
When I encounter stuck up, snobbish type negros, I am reminded of the HouseNegro.

While more "acceptable" to the masta [& not taking anything away from the lighter skinned brothers & sisters]... it was black folk like Harriet Tubman who got out there, and did what needed to be done, at the time. Harriet didn't advertise, "look at me, look what I do, look what I am" ... she merely did what she had to do. Yep, a brown skin black woman...not as "articulate" ... not as "acceptable" as the HouseNegro, or as "intelligent" to some ways of thinking ... but Harriet didn't let any of that stop her.

Who is anyone [and I'm speaking specifically of black folk] to judge themselves "better" or another as not "good enough?"

All sh*t stinks -- even YOURS.

When it comes right down to it, regardless of how many advanced degrees you may have ... when the po po stop your azz, you are STILL just another "N" to them.


bow
flowers

well said


catch
This morning I was struck with a memory of a visit I had to a small town in Alabama. I was meeting this branch of the family for the first time. I had a great time; but the moment that stands out most was a conversation I had with my 3 1/2 year old cousin. I asked her to do something for me [I can't recall what exactly, but I think it had to do with counting] and she responded, "I cain't." I laughed and repeated the request because this was a bright, communicative child; I was certain that she could do what I was asking. However, she replied again, "I cain't" I looked at her mother who told me that I misunderstood, my little cousin was not saying that she was unable to do it, but that she wasn't going to do it. Her mother said that my cousin was saying "I can, but I ain't - 'Cain't'." Big Grin
quote:
Originally posted by ocatchings:
quote:
Originally posted by Fabulous:
When I encounter stuck up, snobbish type negros, I am reminded of the HouseNegro.

While more "acceptable" to the masta [& not taking anything away from the lighter skinned brothers & sisters]... it was black folk like Harriet Tubman who got out there, and did what needed to be done, at the time. Harriet didn't advertise, "look at me, look what I do, look what I am" ... she merely did what she had to do. Yep, a brown skin black woman...not as "articulate" ... not as "acceptable" as the HouseNegro, or as "intelligent" to some ways of thinking ... but Harriet didn't let any of that stop her.

Who is anyone [and I'm speaking specifically of black folk] to judge themselves "better" or another as not "good enough?"

All sh*t stinks -- even YOURS.

When it comes right down to it, regardless of how many advanced degrees you may have ... when the po po stop your azz, you are STILL just another "N" to them.


bow
flowers

well said


catch


hug thank you
quote:
Originally posted by Kweli4Real:
This morning I was struck with a memory of a visit I had to a small town in Alabama. I was meeting this branch of the family for the first time. I had a great time; but the moment that stands out most was a conversation I had with my 3 1/2 year old cousin. I asked her to do something for me [I can't recall what exactly, but I think it had to do with counting] and she responded, "I cain't." I laughed and repeated the request because this was a bright, communicative child; I was certain that she could do what I was asking. However, she replied again, "I cain't" I looked at her mother who told me that I misunderstood, my little cousin was not saying that she was unable to do it, but that she wasn't going to do it. Her mother said that my cousin was saying "I can, but I ain't - 'Cain't'." Big Grin


Too cute! Smile
Last night I didn't feel my usual energetic self.

When I finally put my finger on it, I realized I was feeling a little down. It was such a subtle thing.

For a moment there I simply wallowed in it, allowing myself to examine every detail of what I was feeling, I quickly decided I didn't like it one bit.

Time to let it go.

Those things that had me feeling less than positive, wouldn't change by wallowing in silent misery. The only purpose it would serve is to sap my energy and weaken me--spiritually, emotionally and physically.

So I told myself, no, not today. Then I considered all the positive things going on in my life. I have way too many reasons to feel grateful, I couldn't allow a few minor obstacles tear me down. I've dealt with much worse in life.

I am a strong woman, and as I focused on my own strengths, I could feel the power ... "MY" power.

Yep, only the strong survives.

True dat! tfro
quote:
Originally posted by AudioGuy:

Why is it that when the NBA players protest the new ball the NBA "powers that be listen" and when they protested the "dress code" it fell on deaf ears??


Because there is money in it for the NBA for its players to like the ball that the league sponsors. If the NBA had an interest in the variety of clothing manufacturers who made hip hop wear - they'd be wearing hip hop clothes.
I enjoy being a mother. I enjoy being an aunt.

I get a kick out of knowing that, when it comes right down to it...the young ones in my family will talk to me about...well, ANY & EVERYTHING. Eek

What they don't know is (and I'm speaking of my nieces & nephews), I'm not as comfortable talking to THEM about their PERSONAL issues, as it may seem. I don't let them know this, of course ... But it occurs to me that I may be a 'closet' prude.

I'll listen, and I will advise them when necessary, BUT. . .quiet as it's kept...I'm sometimes embarrassed by some of the things they say.

Shhhhhhhhhh....don't tell anybody.

My nephew brought something to my attention that I will need a few hours to recover from--before I can give him the feedback he needs & deserves. "Why not talk to your father about this," I asked.

"Because I wanted to see what 'you' thought."

Dang, and so it goes.

The life of the "favorite" aunt.
Peace....

Flour, eggs, baking soda, sugar, vanilla, oil, and a good mixing spoon...oh yeah a bowl, a pan, fire..You get it, this will make pretty good pancakes..

It will never make lasagna, or hamburgers no matter how hard you try...same mix, same result...

Try as you wish...


Kai
I despise black people who disparage 'other' black ppl, as if their own sh*t don't stink.

. . .As IF somehow they are 'perfect' or something close to it. Eek

IMO, this type of black folk is WORSE than racist white folk. I mean, who died and made THEM judge & jury??

Like the rest of us, their days are numbered too. Somebody must've told 'em something different, unfortunately for them ... somebody LIED.

lol@trifling black folk. lol
It's COLD.

And, I'm not used to cold weather ... but it IS a nice break from all the heat we've had [or so I keep telling myself]. I had to pull out a turtleneck sweater to wear last night. I haven't worn a turtleneck 'anything' in a couple years--But dang, it's COLD.
There's nothing like an intelligent black man with a sense of self & 'pride' in black culture--his culture. I'm speaking of AMERICAN black men, because I find 'foreign' black males to be VERY different 'culturally' ... in almost every way.

My random thoughts today has me admiring my black brothers in this country, and to me ...

. . .There's nothing like a black man who loves his people, particularly BLACK WOMEN.

There's nothing like a black man who is there for his children both financially & emotionally.

There's nothing like a black man with a cool sense of humor and a willingness to step outside the box, sometimes.

There's nothing like a black man who is loving, supportive & caring.

There's nothing like an intelligent black man who can also humble himself when necessary--who doesn't turn his nose up to less fortunate black ppl because he deems himself 'above' them all.

There's nothing like a WISE black man who recognizes 'different' doesn't mean "stupid."

There's nothing like a black man who finds no reason or purpose in devaluing, disparaging or 'putting down' other black folk, just because.

There's nothing like a MATURE black man who doesn't take himself so seriously.

There is nothing in this WORLD like a good "brother."

I LOVE you black man. kiss
The other day when I walked into my house, there .... sitting on the countertop ... was a big fat rat. OMG!!! Eek

First, let me say, not much scares me, really. I've seen a LOT in my lifetime and it would take a LOT to send me running. However, the sight of a BIG FAT rat ... ON MY KITCHEN COUNTERTOP, of all places ... sent me running back from whence I came [leaving my keys & purse behind].

And it was COLD outside ... I had no jacket and, well, all I had on me was my cell phone. I knocked on my neighbors door; no answer. So I called almost every male I knew until I finally reached someone. An hour later, my brother came. He went inside and came quickly back out ... firstly, he says to me, "I love you, you know that?" Then he hugs me with one arm ...and with the other.... he held up the BIG FAT RAT. I thought I would surely jump outta my damn skin. OMG, OMG!!!!!!! How could you come ANYWHERE NEAR ME with that rat in your hand??? OMG, OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*shivers*

Turns out, the big fat rat was plastic.

Yep, a plastic rat that my nephew had given my daughter weeks ago. A very 'real' looking plastic rat, I might add.

The point of my story; my random thoughts? Well, I stood outside in the cold with no sweater or jacket, yes, "afraid" to go back in the house and NOW ... I am sick ... and I rarely get sick, not even a common cold.

Yep, sore throat, running nose, cough & watery eyes...Ugh! 'All' because of a plastic rat.

The tough sister who has stood, many times, before a large audience without breaking a sweat, the sister who discovered a girlfriend's dead body in a closet under piles of dirty clothes & blankets [placed there by the girlfriend's murderous husband], the sister who then called the police and waited patiently for the police or the husband, whichever came first ...

The sister who stood toe to toe with a knife tootin' gang member, looking him dead in the eyes [without moving a muscle] because she KNEW he needed no reason or excuse to use the knife in his hand ...

Well, THIS sister is seriously afraid of rats.

Go figure.
Were not too much in the christmas spirit around here but i'm not sure why. Roll Eyes I still have to do more shopping tommorrow and every year I vow to go shopping early and not be in the mall the day before christmas and every year it never fails I am in the store at the last mintue. Roll Eyes
I saw "Dreams Girls" yesterday and it was the bomb!!! Great movie and a 'must see', it is entertaining through & through. The entire cast is good.

And it was good to see all those talented black folks on screen.

While Beyonce was good, Jennifer Hudson [who played the role of "Efie"]was 'better' and the true STAR of this flick, without a doubt.

Would I to see it again?

I gotta give a resounding YES!

*ahem*

but I'll wait until it comes out on DVD lol
yeahOMG i would say the same exact thing! I saw it on Christmas night. I got goosebumps when Jennifer sang and was almost in tears a couple of times. 7 She definetely deserves more than just the supporting actress nomination, she made the film come alive. eyesI was happy beyonce sung "listen", i love that song and it fit in that part of the movie perfectly. The only bad thing about seeing Dreamgirls was that there were alot of youngsters in there and they obviously didn't realize what kind of movie it was so every time they would go to sing to each other the youngsters would moan, curse and complain! Roll Eyes nono I can't wait until it comes out on DVD!
quote:
Originally posted by msprettygirl:
yeahOMG i would say the same exact thing! I saw it on Christmas night. I got goosebumps when Jennifer sang and was almost in tears a couple of times. 7 She definetely deserves more than just the supporting actress nomination, she made the film come alive. eyesI was happy beyonce sung "listen", i love that song and it fit in that part of the movie perfectly. The only bad thing about seeing Dreamgirls was that there were alot of youngsters in there and they obviously didn't realize what kind of movie it was so every time they would go to sing to each other the youngsters would moan, curse and complain! Roll Eyes nono I can't wait until it comes out on DVD!


Wow, I never thought of that, mspretty, but I can see how the age of the audience WOULD make a difference in their reaction. When I went, there was a mature audience in the theatre, and they really got INto it. No moaning, cursing or complaining, just a shared enjoyment/pleasure for all.

Jennifer Hudson gave an excellent performance. But, like you, I can't wait until the DVD comes out. lol
fro I saw dreamgirls too with my favorite sisters. Since I am the oldest of the three, I remember the whole Supreme controvesy regarding Flo Ballard. Instead of one child, she had four or five and was on welfare. When she died, Diana Ross didn't even flinch, didn't go to the funeral and didn't help with the expense of Flo's death. She turned her back bigtime. In Dreamgirls, the ending is what should have happened between Flo and the supreme girls prior to her death but didn't.

I also saw the play years ago and I must say, Jennifer Hudson is the only one to fill Jennifer Holiday's shoes. I can't think of anyone else whose voice can reach inside of you...and take your breathe away. fro

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