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Yes I have been disappointed in women. I was in a relationship with a young lady, I allowed her to move in with me, I busted my ass paid all the bills, helped her get a job,and I was always concerned about making sure we grew together. She basically decieved me, told me what she thought I wanted to hear,and was really only concerned about what she wanted to do. All along she was still in love with her first love, (who left her for a white girl)and when I caught on to it she tried to blow it off as them just being friends. Im like if you have been broken up with this dude for over a year, and you have a new phone , why is his number in there. To make a long story short, she betrayed me, and I havent spoken to her since.

I am in no ways perfect, I am sure Ive hurt women, but i never betrayed anyone. Thats a feeling I wouldnt wish on anyone.


On general note. Just from laying back observing women, most seem to be attracted to men that look like they got something going on, nice car, flashy clothes, got women chasing them. They love a dude like that. Seems to me most women get off on men who they think are bad boys, but are really frontin.

Also women say men are all about sex and things like that. But it seems to me women are just as bad or worst. If you can put it down in the bedroom, nine times out of ten they will basically put up with anything else. Their idea of a man it seems to me is strictly physical, they say its emotional, but to me her emotions are tied to sex.

Most women I meet say they are intelligent and want a man thats intelligent as well, are really not deep , really not concerned about anything intellectually stimulating , they only care about how you can make her feel. Dont get me wrong knowing how to please your woman in the bedroom is important, but that to me is a small piece in building a strong productive relationship. I know plenty of dudes with nothing going on but the bedroom and they seem to always keep women. Any man that wants to respect a woman for the totallity of what they are are often seen as weak. I was joking with one of my friends the other day. we were like if you say hello, how you doing today sweetheart, a woman will look at you like your crazy, but if you say whatsup shorty they start skinnin and grinin, im rambling i know but just some of the instances
quote:
Originally posted by The one and only ME:
Zakar has sparked my interest in this topic

Have you been disappointed by women? How so?


I have yet to hear a man NOT disappointed in some way...

but men are human, I'm sure just as there are women that disappoint them... and there are those that fill their heart...

depends on the woman...

and their compatibility...


Peace,
Khalliqa
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
Yes.

The list of why and how so is to long to put down here.


Just a brief summary would suffice.. Big Grin
lol

*Also please mention what you did to her* Razz



lol....*trying to open up this big can of worms I see. *

The high ability to decieve, manipulate, and undercut a good thing.

The only thing I did was drop them like a bad habit, on the curb in the rain when I got fed up. daz tongue
lol
Forgive me, but I am beginning to see a pattern here.

Could this be the communication issue that women speak of? You expect us to uphold a certain standard-tell you what we want, need, give you our life history but you can't even be bothered with us when we are trying to find out what "WE" as women can do to improve ourselves in the eyes of the black man..........? (That is the ultimate goal of this topic, FOR ME)
quote:
Originally posted by The one and only ME:
Forgive me, but I am beginning to see a pattern here.

Could this be the communication issue that women speak of? You expect us to uphold a certain standard-tell you what we want, need, give you our life history but you can't even be bothered with us when we are trying to find out what "WE" as women can do to improve ourselves in the eyes of the black man..........? (That is the ultimate goal of this topic, FOR ME)


This is a fair question. I'll do my best in trying to answer it:

For me it's simple. Take THAT ONE friend that every woman has. You know the that to her face you go "Yeah girl;do yo thang girl" to but in your mind your shaking your head and thinking "what the hell is wrong with you?". Take that friend, examine her actions, thoughts and just her general life processes and DON'T BE HER OR LIKE HER!

But thats just me and my thoughts......
one and only -

You're new here; let me school you on how things usually go down around here.

Example 1: Woman launches into rant thread about how terrible men are.

95% of the ladies co-sign

Men defend themselves or proclaim that they and their friends do not engage in subject of rant.

Ladies say we are being dishonest and continue to rant, often with little regard for the language used or civility.

Example 2: Man launches into rant thread about how terrible women are.

80-85% of men co-sign

Ladies deny that the behavior occurs, then suggest that ultimately men are the reason the women being ranted about behaved the way they did.

If a lady happens to agree with the male rant, she is quickly shouted down or accused of having some issue (suck-up, brainwashed, naive, unenlightened).

Ladies then relaunch the rants from their threads, overrunning the male poster's thread.

Read through some old threads in the Den, Sista's Spot, and Dating/Relationships. We know how it happens around here; we open up, only to be told our perceptions aren't valid - it's tiring & annoying; so when someone new, possibly with good intentions, posts this type of question, many of us are skeptical.

Lucy's pulled the football away too many times... Wink
Yes, D, I am new here and, trust me, it is not my intention to disclaim anyone's views or opinions. I was asking for real life examples/experiences. Not perspective (which we all know can be questioned).

I don't know any of the other sistas on the site so I can only speak for myself when I say that the only way to "fix" this is to fully communicate the issues and look for REAL ways to adjust...... I mean, if its too late for me, let me teach my daughters to be "good" women in the eyes of society-MOST importantly, the black man.
Have I been disappointed by a woman? Of course. Many times.

How so? By her allowing her friends into our relationship. She began treating me the way her friends treated their unfaithful, irresponsible domineering men; even though, she acknowledged that I exhibited none of those traits.

By her [a different woman] being unfaithful. When we got together she made no bones about her desire to be a "stay-at-home take care of the house" woman. I had no problem with that. I made enough $$$ to meet our financial needs. Her fling was with a hustlin' Bad Boy. He was my polar opposite. I discovered the affair after a week when he stole some money and beat her a$$.

By her [a different woman] refusing to grow beyond where she was, despite my encouragement and support. This was a bright woman who refused to pick up a book; she would rather watch sit-com reruns after she came home from her cashiering job. She actually turned down a promotion because it would've interfered with her TV watching.

By her [a different woman] refusing to allow me to grow beyond where I was. She was an attempted dream-killer. enuff said.

By her [a different woman] spending every dime I made, while b!tching and moaning that I worked too much.

But all of these disappointments taught me lessons and made me the man that I am today. So, I can complain.
quote:
Could this be the communication issue that women speak of? You expect us to uphold a certain standard-tell you what we want, need, give you our life history but you can't even be bothered with us when we are trying to find out what "WE" as women can do to improve ourselves in the eyes of the black man..........? (That is the ultimate goal of this topic, FOR ME)

Here is a start...

1) Don't fuck your man's brother, best friend, cousin, and / or enemy

2) Don't sleep with your girlfriend... unless I am invited.

3) Be where you say you are

4) Keep your pants on in the company of another man.

5) Don't "overlaugh" in the company of another man.

6) When you are in a relationship with a dude, DO NOT PURSUE "FRIENDSHIPS" WITH OTHER MEN."

7) Don't talk to OTHER men about your relationship.

8) Stay out of situations your man would not appreciate.

9) Never go on a vacation without your man.

10) Male friends you had before your relationship with your current man or husband, must be put on CHILL mode.

11) It is okay to dance with another dude at a party or club. It is NOT okay to allow him to rub up on your ass.

12) Do not accept MONEY or GIFTS from any man when you are in a relationship. No HOOKUPS either. And I don't care if your car catches fire in the company parking lot, do not accept a ride from a cat who you KNOW is jocking you.


Chew on this list for awhile....
quote:
Her fling was with a hustlin' Bad Boy. He was my polar opposite. I discovered the affair after a week when he stole some money and beat her a$$.

And you know what's so funny... when you catch these broads on the foul, they have the NERVE to break up with you as if your SNOOPING was the straw that broke the back.

Fuck the Jedi Mind Trick...

I ALWAYS check into my girl's life; especially when I see some funny shit going on.

Doesn't matter who the woman is... they ALL CHEAT. Can't help themselves.

You know what... I need to leave this discussion. I am about to bust a pipe thinking about the skullduggery of these sistas.
quote:
Originally posted by ddouble:
one and only -

You're new here; let me school you on how things usually go down around here.

Example 1: Woman launches into rant thread about how terrible men are.

95% of the ladies co-sign

Men defend themselves or proclaim that they and their friends do not engage in subject of rant.

Ladies say we are being dishonest and continue to rant, often with little regard for the language used or civility.

Example 2: Man launches into rant thread about how terrible women are.

80-85% of men co-sign

Ladies deny that the behavior occurs, then suggest that ultimately men are the reason the women being ranted about behaved the way they did.

If a lady happens to agree with the male rant, she is quickly shouted down or accused of having some issue (suck-up, brainwashed, naive, unenlightened).

Ladies then relaunch the rants from their threads, overrunning the male poster's thread.

Read through some old threads in the Den, Sista's Spot, and Dating/Relationships. We know how it happens around here; we open up, only to be told our perceptions aren't valid - it's tiring & annoying; so when someone new, possibly with good intentions, posts this type of question, many of us are skeptical.

Lucy's pulled the football away too many times... Wink


Yep, and as soon as Charlie Brown goes off about how Lucy yanks the football, resulting in him busting his ass, then she has the NERVE to cuss out Charlie Brown, "How dare your bald-headed, dead Christmas tree purchasing, blockhead ass get mad at me, while I take my precious time and energy to exclusively treat you like shyt in front of your face, instead of behind your back." bang nono
quote:
Originally posted by The one and only ME:
Forgive me, but I am beginning to see a pattern here.

Could this be the communication issue that women speak of? You expect us to uphold a certain standard-tell you what we want, need, give you our life history but you can't even be bothered with us when we are trying to find out what "WE" as women can do to improve ourselves in the eyes of the black man..........? (That is the ultimate goal of this topic, FOR ME)

Here are a couple of blast from the past that represent my feelings
1
2

I was also trying to find the old post where I went into great detail about my first wife. We meet in seminary. When we got married, she had finished the course work for her doctorate and the plan was for her to take a couple years finishing her dissertation while I worked, and then she would reciprocate while I went back to get mine. We had also planned on starting a family around that time, we both wanted kids. Two years turned into 8, all the while, she refused to work, refused to do much of anything around the house, refused to start a family (she said that she would not have kids until she had finished giving birth to her dissertation Roll Eyes), spent all day watching TV and chatting on the Internet, eventually becoming romantically entangled with a couple of folks she met there. NOTE: This is really just the tip of the iceberg. Its also important to remember that I was a minister, working as a college chaplain in small close-knit communities. The stress of trying to deal with the situation, my job, and my community expectations triggered a major depressive episode. Even her parents took my side in what was going on. Finally, though I got her to do marriage counseling, she refused to change or compromise, so I had to get out to save what little mind I had left. I heard that she did get her degree, though it took her another 2 or 3 years and an obscene amount of debt, which I fortunately did not share.
quote:
Originally posted by ddouble:
one and only -

You're new here; let me school you on how things usually go down around here.

Example 1: Woman launches into rant thread about how terrible men are.

95% of the ladies co-sign

Men defend themselves or proclaim that they and their friends do not engage in subject of rant.

Ladies say we are being dishonest and continue to rant, often with little regard for the language used or civility.

Example 2: Man launches into rant thread about how terrible women are.

80-85% of men co-sign

Ladies deny that the behavior occurs, then suggest that ultimately men are the reason the women being ranted about behaved the way they did.

If a lady happens to agree with the male rant, she is quickly shouted down or accused of having some issue (suck-up, brainwashed, naive, unenlightened).

Ladies then relaunch the rants from their threads, overrunning the male poster's thread.


Brotha are you taking lessons from the Associated Press?? Men defend themselves, but women deny?? 80-85% of the men co-sign?? Puh-lease! Try 99.9999% cosign and one brotha in the back silently watches it all go down. Hmph! Razz

The one and only me, don't you fall for these guys' crap! Big Grin
quote:
Originally posted by Shango67:
quote:
Her fling was with a hustlin' Bad Boy. He was my polar opposite. I discovered the affair after a week when he stole some money and beat her a$$.

And you know what's so funny... when you catch these broads on the foul, they have the NERVE to break up with you as if your SNOOPING was the straw that broke the back.

Fuck the Jedi Mind Trick...

I ALWAYS check into my girl's life; especially when I see some funny shit going on.

Doesn't matter who the woman is... they ALL CHEAT. Can't help themselves.

You know what... I need to leave this discussion. I am about to bust a pipe thinking about the skullduggery of these sistas.


Shango,
Between you and Zane, I finally have all the confirmation of the fact that ladies cheat as much as men and that the so-called air or allusion of wholesomeness is just that..an overblown and overstated allusion to persisently shift and devert self-responsibility around.
quote:
Originally posted by folobatuyi:

Shango,
Between you and Zane, I finally have all the confirmation of the fact that ladies cheat as much as men and that the so-called air or allusion of wholesomeness is just that..an overblown and overstated allusion to persisently shift and devert self-responsibility around.


Felix...

I really hope you don't believe that EVERY woman will cheat on you....



Peace,
Khalliqa
Brother Felix-

When I actively hung out with a crew of single women, I saw & heard things that violate "the code" - stuff that ladies do & think, but keep on the hush amongst themselves. Trust me, the potential to do vile things to one's partner in a relationship is not just a male practice. IMO, women simply cover their tracks better, that's all. But in the end K is right, there are plenty of honorable ladies out there. But until you find one, work on your stiff arm technique.

quote:
Originally posted by ddouble:
Brother Felix-

When I actively hung out with a crew of single women, I saw & heard things that violate "the code" - stuff that ladies do & think, but keep on the hush amongst themselves. Trust me, the potential to do vile things to one's partner in a relationship is not just a male practice. IMO, women simply cover their tracks better, that's all. But in the end K is right, there are plenty of honorable ladies out there. But until you find one, work on your stiff arm technique.



appl thanks yeah
quote:
Originally posted by Huey:
quote:
Originally posted by ddouble:
Brother Felix-

When I actively hung out with a crew of single women, I saw & heard things that violate "the code" - stuff that ladies do & think, but keep on the hush amongst themselves. Trust me, the potential to do vile things to one's partner in a relationship is not just a male practice. IMO, women simply cover their tracks better, that's all. But in the end K is right, there are plenty of honorable ladies out there. But until you find one, work on your stiff arm technique.



appl thanks yeah

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

DDouble is MY hero
quote:
Originally posted by Shango67:

DON'T LISTEN TO HER!

They ALL cheat!


In some form or another...


I really wanted to stay out of this, because i got the hint that women never listen.

But....i have to tell you, that i have NEVER cheated.

To me, it takes up too much time and energy. After my feelings have changed.....for whatever reason, i bounce. (and trust, i have no problems doing that)

Theres no need for me to chill with a person that im not interested in, etc.

Not all women cheat. Razz
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
quote:
Originally posted by Shango67:

DON'T LISTEN TO HER!

They ALL cheat!


In some form or another...


I really wanted to stay out of this, because i got the hint that women never listen.

But....i have to tell you, that i have NEVER cheated.

To me, it takes up too much time and energy. After my feelings have changed.....for whatever reason, i bounce. (and trust, i have no problems doing that)

Theres no need for me to chill with a person that im not interested in, etc.

Not all women cheat. Razz


19

But women like you seem to be to few and to far between. Like ddouble stated: we need to use the stiff arm nowadays. No more taking chances....
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
quote:
Originally posted by Shango67:

DON'T LISTEN TO HER!

They ALL cheat!


In some form or another...


I really wanted to stay out of this, because i got the hint that women never listen.

But....i have to tell you, that i have NEVER cheated.

To me, it takes up too much time and energy. After my feelings have changed.....for whatever reason, i bounce. (and trust, i have no problems doing that)

Theres no need for me to chill with a person that im not interested in, etc.

Not all women cheat. Razz

Rule # 63,257...

NO STIFF ARM FOR QTY!
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:


But women like you seem to be to few and to far between. Like ddouble stated: we need to use the stiff arm nowadays. No more taking chances....


Question...

Have all of the women, in your life........cheated on you?

Tell the truth....


Only been cheated on twice (to the best of my knowledge). Both women thought (in their words) that if they cheated it would make me jealous and therefore (in my view) more pliable to their demands.

Both found themeselves on the curb with no cab/bus fare. Oh and the dudes they slept around with, oddly enough, were not there to help them. Funny that...

I tell people damn near every day, those petty tactics will work on mere mortals, but Gambit is in a whole nother class. fo
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
quote:
Originally posted by Shango67:
DDOUBLE...

I have shared the STIFF ARM discussion with some of my boys via email, and we have been rolling all morning.

You are a god here in NY!

STIFF ARM!


I love it!


Yeah I emailed my brother too. It should be all over Ohio by friday night. lol


Gentlemen, I do what I can. hat I can't stop laughing about it either. Think we can lobby MBM to add a stiff arm emoticon? beer
Ok, ok, the stiff arm thing was funny BUT do you think that by applying that technique you may miss out on the one for you?? I mean, QTY has NEVER cheated on her mate and if you met her (not on here), you would have been stiff arming her like anybody else you meet......

If my future mate is on this board, looking at this board, or is in NY or Ohio, PLEASE DONT STIFF ARM ME. I'm not the average sista. I will NEVER call you or interact with you in any type of way EVER AGAIN! LOL You have my pic on here so that "I'm sorry. I didn't know you were The one and only ME" is not gonna work! LOL
quote:
Originally posted by The one and only ME:
Ok, ok, the stiff arm thing was funny BUT do you think that by applying that technique you may miss out on the one for you?? I mean, QTY has NEVER cheated on her mate and if you met her (not on here), you would have been stiff arming her like anybody else you meet......

If my future mate is on this board, looking at this board, or is in NY or Ohio, PLEASE DONT STIFF ARM ME. I'm not the average sista. I will NEVER call you or interact with you in any type of way EVER AGAIN! LOL You have my pic on here so that "I'm sorry. I didn't know you were The one and only ME" is not gonna work! LOL


I think you need to petition for a stiff arm exemption - qty226 got one; check with Shango on that! Wink

If not a stiff arm, how else should we shed & evade crazy ladies? Lower the shoulder?


Clearly, this allows the pursuer to get way too close!
Last edited {1}
quote:
Originally posted by AudioGuy:
Of all da bitches & ho's I have dated... (just kidding)

I have to say that I cannot recall ever being disappointed by a woman... this does not mean that I have not been hurt... just not disappointed... not that I can recall...

I think that I have probably disappointed way more than have disappointed me...




Playa

Razz


{*For the record I am TEASING you AG.. I am not trying to fight you, degrade your name, hurt you, or suggest in any way that you seriously be treating dem women's like hoes}


Razz

{* For the record that was me TEASING you again...}


sit down fool! hehehehe

{* once again, I just want you to know that I was TEASING you.....}


If this in any way makes you uncomfortable, or feel like I'm attacking your playa status (Teasing again), then I apologize.... I will not tease you no' mo'



Be easy....
quote:
Originally posted by virtue/Khalliqa:
quote:
Originally posted by AudioGuy:
Of all da bitches & ho's I have dated... (just kidding)

I have to say that I cannot recall ever being disappointed by a woman... this does not mean that I have not been hurt... just not disappointed... not that I can recall...

I think that I have probably disappointed way more than have disappointed me...




Playa

Razz


{*For the record I am TEASING you AG.. I am not trying to fight you, degrade your name, hurt you, or suggest in any way that you seriously be treating dem women's like hoes}


Razz

{* For the record that was me TEASING you again...}


sit down fool! hehehehe

{* once again, I just want you to know that I was TEASING you.....}


If this in any way makes you uncomfortable, or feel like I'm attacking your playa status (Teasing again), then I apologize.... I will not tease you no' mo'



Be easy....
Do not MESS with me non-virtue... Are you trying to PRO...VOKE ME??!!
Last edited {1}
quote:
Originally posted by AudioGuy:
quote:
Originally posted by virtue/Khalliqa:
quote:
Originally posted by AudioGuy:
Of all da bitches & ho's I have dated... (just kidding)

I have to say that I cannot recall ever being disappointed by a woman... this does not mean that I have not been hurt... just not disappointed... not that I can recall...

I think that I have probably disappointed way more than have disappointed me...




Playa

Razz


{*For the record I am TEASING you AG.. I am not trying to fight you, degrade your name, hurt you, or suggest in any way that you seriously be treating dem women's like hoes}


Razz

{* For the record that was me TEASING you again...}


sit down fool! hehehehe

{* once again, I just want you to know that I was TEASING you.....}


If this in any way makes you uncomfortable, or feel like I'm attacking your playa status (Teasing again), then I apologize.... I will not tease you no' mo'



Be easy....
Do not MESS with me non-virtue... Are you trying to PRO...VOKE ME??!!


rofl....
quote:
So, Shango.........

Sup with the exemption?

Exemptions are not handed out willy-nilly.

Now, as you know, I am a man... and as a man, I can be corrupted, cajoled, and persuaded. If you want an exemption from me, I am sure we can come to an agreement... of course, the agreement will be brokered outside the scrutiny of the AA.org community.

Do you get my drift? It is called QUID PRO QUO

Let that marinate and get at me by C.O.B. today.

Roll with it.
quote:
Originally posted by Shango67:
quote:
So, Shango.........

Sup with the exemption?

Exemptions are not handed out willy-nilly.

Now, as you know, I am a man... and as a man, I can be corrupted, cajoled, and persuaded. If you want an exemption from me, I am sure we can come to an agreement... of course, the agreement will be brokered outside the scrutiny of the AA.org community.

Do you get my drift? It is called QUID PRO QUO

Let that marinate and get at me by C.O.B. today.

Roll with it.


See, now, why you being unfair to me??? You guys gave QTY an exemption. Frown

Aight, well, lets do a 3:00 so that I may acquire a complete understanding of the terms of this agreement and make a decision as to whether or not it would be in my best interest to enter into contract......
quote:
Originally posted by ddouble:
Brother Felix-

When I actively hung out with a crew of single women, I saw & heard things that violate "the code" - stuff that ladies do & think, but keep on the hush amongst themselves. Trust me, the potential to do vile things to one's partner in a relationship is not just a male practice. IMO, women simply cover their tracks better, that's all. But in the end K is right, there are plenty of honorable ladies out there. But until you find one, work on your stiff arm technique.



Thanks. Brother DD...I agree with you and Virtue that there are some honorable sistas out there. I am not talking about them. I just want the allusion that ladies don't cheat...it is a myth...ladies are just much better at covering their tracks.
quote:
Originally posted by Kweli4Real:
Have I been disappointed by a woman? Of course. Many times.

How so? By her allowing her friends into our relationship. She began treating me the way her friends treated their unfaithful, irresponsible domineering men; even though, she acknowledged that I exhibited none of those traits.

By her [a different woman] being unfaithful. When we got together she made no bones about her desire to be a "stay-at-home take care of the house" woman. I had no problem with that. I made enough $$$ to meet our financial needs. Her fling was with a hustlin' Bad Boy. He was my polar opposite. I discovered the affair after a week when he stole some money and beat her a$$.

By her [a different woman] refusing to grow beyond where she was, despite my encouragement and support. This was a bright woman who refused to pick up a book; she would rather watch sit-com reruns after she came home from her cashiering job. She actually turned down a promotion because it would've interfered with her TV watching.

By her [a different woman] refusing to allow me to grow beyond where I was. She was an attempted dream-killer. enuff said.

By her [a different woman] spending every dime I made, while b!tching and moaning that I worked too much.

But all of these disappointments taught me lessons and made me the man that I am today. So, I can complain.


...."By her [a different woman] being unfaithful. When we got together she made no bones about her desire to be a "stay-at-home take care of the house" woman. I had no problem with that. I made enough $$$ to meet our financial needs. Her fling was with a hustlin' Bad Boy. He was my polar opposite. I discovered the affair after a week when he stole some money and beat her a$$...."


Eek oh wow! That's extra....nasty...yeesh.
quote:
Originally posted by The one and only ME:
Ok, ok, the stiff arm thing was funny BUT do you think that by applying that technique you may miss out on the one for you?? I mean, QTY has NEVER cheated on her mate and if you met her (not on here), you would have been stiff arming her like anybody else you meet......

If my future mate is on this board, looking at this board, or is in NY or Ohio, PLEASE DONT STIFF ARM ME. I'm not the average sista. I will NEVER call you or interact with you in any type of way EVER AGAIN! LOL You have my pic on here so that "I'm sorry. I didn't know you were The one and only ME" is not gonna work! LOL


I do have/had women friends that cheated; but I do'nt play that....at all. When I have lost interest, I throw subtle hints, and begin the escape.
quote:
Originally posted by nayo:
I do have/had women friends that cheated; but I do'nt play that....at all. When I have lost interest, I throw subtle hints, and begin the escape.


For some men, it's not enough to throw subtle hints...

and yet for others the very fact that you lose interest is indicative in their minds that you have cheated....

not that you have a right to heaven forbid realize that the relationship is toxic....

and begin to make arrangements to get out as best you can....

yet, other men, you can be straight up with and they will appreciate it and won't flip out on you....

the relationship will die and you both will go your separate ways in peace...



Peace,
Khalliqa
quote:
Originally posted by nayo:
[ When I have lost interest, I throw subtle hints, and begin the escape.


Why throw "subtle hints"? The very idea behind subtlty means it's hidden, obsure and difficult to decipher. Why drag out an unpleasant situation (for both parties involved)? Why not just voice your unhappiness and declare it over?

I'm really starting to believe the concept of a "quick, clean kill" is lost on women....
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
quote:
Originally posted by nayo:
[ When I have lost interest, I throw subtle hints, and begin the escape.


Why throw "subtle hints"? The very idea behind subtlty means it's hidden, obsure and difficult to decipher. Why drag out an unpleasant situation (for both parties involved)? Why not just voice your unhappiness and declare it over?

I'm really starting to believe the concept of a "quick, clean kill" is lost on women....


yeah

I'm always very amused when women claim to do things a certain way ("subtle-like") because they don't want to "hurt a man's feelings" .... and then wind up causing far deeper hurt in the process ....
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
quote:
Originally posted by nayo:
[ When I have lost interest, I throw subtle hints, and begin the escape.


Why throw "subtle hints"? The very idea behind subtlty means it's hidden, obsure and difficult to decipher. Why drag out an unpleasant situation (for both parties involved)? Why not just voice your unhappiness and declare it over?

I'm really starting to believe the concept of a "quick, clean kill" is lost on women....



That is sooooo not true. I have NO PROBLEM whatsoever with administering the "quick, clean kill". For one, I am not going to torture myself being around a man that does not interest me for whatever reason. Secondly, I wouldn't want anyone to do me that way. I try to treat folks the way I would like to be treated.

I'm a little too outspoken for subtle hints. IMO that whole concept is too much like playing games. I mean, I'm not going to intentionally damage a man's ego on the way out but I know how to end things tactfully.
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
quote:
Originally posted by nayo:
[ When I have lost interest, I throw subtle hints, and begin the escape.


Why throw "subtle hints"? The very idea behind subtlty means it's hidden, obsure and difficult to decipher. Why drag out an unpleasant situation (for both parties involved)?


It is best to be upfront and honest where applicable...

unfortunately, men are not monolithic emotionally and some men have a hard time with rejection, just like some women do....

the best case scenario is this:

quote:
yet, other men, you can be straight up with and they will appreciate it and won't flip out on you....

the relationship will die and you both will go your separate ways in peace...



A woman should do this when dealing with a man she knows will respect her decision and not try to harm her in some way emotionally or physically...


When this is not possible, it is imperative in terms of the woman's safety and the man's ego.. to handle things delicately and subtley...

in etiquette this is called "saving face".... when applied properly it has merit...

"saving face" to the point where the man thinks its his idea to end the relationship is even better....

and vice versa.... when dealing with a woman you know will not accept rejection, it might be best to help her save her frustration and embarrassment by delicately and subtley letting her down...

knowing who you're dealing with is key.... the sooner this is discovered the better....

the goal is for everyone to leave in peace.... and there are different ways of handling this....

women don't always get it right... one technique will not work on everyone...


all one can do is sincerely try.... to correct the mistakes that they finally see that they've made... make note of how they got themselves into the situation in the first place, note the type of person that they need to stay away from.....

and humbly learn from the experience... Smile


Peace,
Khalliqa
Last edited {1}

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