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I must applaud Rowe for her perspective in my thread on "Subduing Intimidating Sisters." It's high time sisters, especially young sisters, speak up for themselves and hold these young brothers accountable for themselves. Every sister should have this on her mind when in the pursuit of happiness:

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one cannot boast about having lured the company of beautiful female friends, then with the same breathe accuse women of being "superficial" because they also want to be in the company of handsome men. That's not how it works. REAL women are not going to go through the trouble of making themselves beautiful, attractive, and financially secure while you shiftlessly walk around looking like a piece of shit having nothing to contribute towards building a family.


I just tell it like it is--I get sick and damn tired of some sisters condoning, putting up with, settling for, and, in many cases, being more interested in a sloppy, unkept, unhealthy, unrespectable, disrespectful negro than a brother that's been raised to dress and act accordingly.

back in the day, if you didn't come correct to a sister, you got your ego handed to you in a crumpled brown paper bag, by the sister you were pursuing, and sent on your marry little way--this wasn't too long ago either. Even if the girl was gullible enough to accept a sloppy boy, he most certainly didn't make it past the parents.

Now, these young sisters let these young black boys run through em' like flesh-eating fish at a wounded Gazzelle. They get passed around, talked about, abused, misused, and neglected then they're the first to complain when their world comes crumbling down.

For too long, many sisters, young and old, don't realize the power they possess to control their men. When Michael Jordan first came out with his clean-shaven head, the sisters went crazy--the next thing you know, every boy and man in the United States shaved their head clean--why? Because it's what women want. A brother would wear a snow cone on his head and a red and white checker suit if the sisters said it was sexy.

Damn, all I'm saying is, ladies, especially those of you that are having a hard time with these knuckle heads--make these brothers WORK for it--make em' clean themselves up--boycott them suckers until they clean their act up. After all, no matter what you do, as a decent, respectable sister, a brother that ain't worth shit is going to seek out other sources for bootycalls anyway, so, leave it up to the ho's to service them and keep yourselves intact.

A real man will do the right thing--a fool will value what he can get now over what's important--the future.
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I totally agree with everything that was said here and single women reading would do well to heed to your suggestion. Prior to your arrival, I have made countless statements ridiculing the appearance of today's youth. I haven't a problem with young men however wearing the latest hiphop fashions insofar as the clothes are clean, pressed, and the hiphop hair has been neately braided and designed. At a certain age, I do expect for men to trade in their youth attire for a more age-appropriate wardrobe. In any event, I do have one very important question for you to answer. You have demonstrated here your passion for letting women know that they should raise their standards and raise their expectations and self-esteem. However, do you think that its acceptable for this "self-respecting" woman to then get on her knees and perform oral sex on you. Do you permit black women to perform oral sex on you? In other words, in your mind, is this behavior ok? Just go ahead and answer so then I'll know what to say next.
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Originally posted by ricardomath:
Permit??? No! No! Anything but that!!!


Ricardomath, too often, these very same men that we hear complaining about what little "self-esteem" women have today and how women should regard themselves as "African Queens" feel that its ok for this queen to compromise her self-respect in order to satisfy him. In the bedroom is where he believes its quite acceptable for a woman to be a man's personal slut. Then after the performance is over, the woman is supposed to instantly recover and regain her self-respect. However, a true king desiring a true queen would want his queen to retain her self-respect in public as well as in private.
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Originally posted by Rowe:

Ricardomath, too often, these very same men who complain about what little "self-esteem" women have and how women should regard themselves as "African Queens" feels that it is ok for this queen to compromise her self-respect in order to satisfy him. In the bedroom is where he believes it quite acceptable for a woamn to be the man's personal slut. Then after the performance is over, the woman is suddenly supposed to instantly recover and regain her self-respect. However, a true king desiring a true queen would want his queen to retain her self-respect in public as well as in private.


Do you equate engaging in oral sex with having a lack of self-respect and/or self-esteem?

(BTW, we are talking about oral sex in private, and not in public here, aren't we?)
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Originally posted by ricardomath:
Do you equate engaging in oral sex with having a lack of self-respect and/or self-esteem?


Most definitely! Were you not apart of the past discussion about "Going Down on A Man?" I don't want to open a can of worms, but in this discussion, I shared some information about women's health and how women's lifestyles and behaviors impacts their health. It wasn't well received of course, but as women, we need to have the understanding that women are not men. Women do not have the same bodies as men and we have gender specific biological and reproductive needs. Therefore, we cannot participate in the same kinds of activities as men. I think its also unfair for men to expect women to raise their standards but then compromise these standards when they're alone with them.
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Originally posted by Rowe:
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Originally posted by ricardomath:
Do you equate engaging in oral sex with having a lack of self-respect and/or self-esteem?


Most definitely!


Do you feel the same way if it is the man performing it on the woman?

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Were you not apart of the past discussion about "Going Down on A Man?"


Nope. Must have missed that one.

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I think its also unfair for men to expect women to raise their standards then compromise these standards when they're alone with them.


Not everybody would consider engaging in sex (oral or otherwise) as a compromise of standards. What compromises your standards might not compromise the standards of somebody else.

I also suspect that most people have different standards for what they do in private from what they do in public. It's not a question of private standards being lower than public standards, but rather a person having standards that distinguish between appropiate public behavior and appropiate private behavior.
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do you think that its acceptable for this "self-respecting" woman to then get on her knees and perform oral sex on you. Do you permit black women to perform oral sex on you? In other words, in your mind, is this behavior ok?


What? You mean to tell me, Rowe, you don't suck dick??? Dammit, Rowe, I thought you was cool!!

I bet you one of those sisters that will let a brother go to town on her coochie but when a brother pulls his thang out, and asks you to return the favor, you throw up 'the hand.'

*Packing my bags and walking out the door*

Okay, okay, Rowe, You know I'm just playing--seriously though, that is a loaded question and you know it. My sexual preferences have nothing to do with whether I'm percieved as respecting sisters. With me, a sister has a choice--if she wants oral sex she is going to have to reciprocate--bottom line.

I don't respect a sister any more or any less whether she engages in oral sex or not. If a sister doesn't want to give oral, she ain't gettin' oral either. Now, let me emphaize the fact that this is only a subject if I'm in a monogamous relationship with a woman.

I know all about the differences in male and female reproductive organs--not including STD's but just regular bacteria, there are more germs in a woman's vagina than there are on a man's penis.

Just as women risk the chance of becoming infertile i.e. damaged fallopian tubes or
damaged uterin walls from bacteria, men can also experience sterilization, erectile disfunction and bladder problems when they engage in random, unprotected prolonged sex.

If I let a woman perform oral sex on me then that is what she wants to do. It doesn't make her a ho in my eyes especially if we are in a monogamous relationship--I definately believe in reciprocation, all the way down the line. kiss
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Originally posted by IRONHORSE:
Now, let me emphaize the fact that this is only a subject if I'm in a monogamous relationship with a woman.

I know all about the differences in male and female reproductive organs--not including STD's but just regular bacteria, there are more germs in a woman's vagina than there are on a man's penis.

Just as women risk the chance of becoming infertile i.e. damaged fallopian tubes or
damaged uterin walls from bacteria, men can also experience sterilization, erectile disfunction and bladder problems when they engage in random, unprotected prolonged sex.

Thank God for explaining yourself. I was getting ready to throw up until you explained yourself.

Personally I would only consider oral sex with my long standing wife or a virgin. Anything less and to me that man is a fool.

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