The hardest part of a breakup like this is not constantly thinking about what is lost. Not imaging how things could be/could have been different! But, if the reality is that they are indeed different, don't try to act like nothing ever happened. When you do that, you leave reality!
However, there more your time and energy and focus is on something else (or someone else, like yourself!) then the less time it is on regret and feeling unhappy!
If possible, make it a point to come to the understanding that you cannot control someone else's actions or feelings. If leaving was her idea, it was what she wanted to do and you have no control over that and can't (and shouldn't) beat yourself up on not being able to change that. What you do have control over is moving on ... one day at at time, putting one foot in front of the other!
Everything is going to be okay!
Step 2: Go home put on some oldies but goodies and consume all of your poison
Step 3: After consuming the poison your head should be hurting so bad the next day you will have forgot why you were drinking
Step 4: hit the streets and start a new begining
Vox, tell your friend it won't be easy, but have patience and give him-self time to heal. Time has an effective way of healing broken hearts as life naturally moves on if you let it.
Chalk that relationship up as an experience to grow on. Have the courage to accept the situation and move on, and be determined to improve his life from now on.
For a more practical approach try something new, join an organization or get a hobby, or new hobby. If not already get involved in something that is both challenging and exciting it will aid in occupying your mind, while passing time.
And I definitely concur with EbonyRose about doing something you enjoy. You never know, you may meet someone who enjoys the exact same things you do. That's a good new start.
It's slowly working itself out though. Thanks...
very good advise from the board!!
It didn't work, I (I mean, my friend) still thought about the lost love; but I (I mean, he) has some great "penthouse forum" type stories.
Originally posted by isistah:
Hmm-mm. That sounds like a hint for a new forum. MBM?
1. Join a gym
2. Eat healthy foods
3. Go to museums and libraries
4. Take myself on picnics where I could read without distractions.
I really had a ball. You can really enjoy this alone time if you want to make it yours and not just exist in a broken up state. I did all the things I wanted to do
Originally posted by Vox:
This is all kinda new to --- a friend of mine (yeah, that's it). Tips on getting past the end of a 3-year relationship, that you didn't want to end, when u were in love with the person, would be appreciated.
The remedy depends on the cause. It's hard to give meaningful advice when you don't know the circumstances. I will say this, whatever you do make sure that it is not SELF-DESTRUCTIVE! Drinkin', smokin' and f*ckin' can ALL be hazardous to your health - the best thing you can do is be good to yourself. To use and overused quote: "...this too shall pass..." and you want to be there when it does.