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A group of professional women, some of us single, some married were talking yesterday about the above alleged statement from an exasperated husband with a broken heart.


"What, is this the state of feminism? Where do they want us, back in the kitchen?" one of my colleagues asked.


"Yeah, but I bet "they" want to marry our incomes," another said.


"Try buying a house in L.A. on one income," co-signed an unmarried- but- looking attractive brunette.


Since when does a woman's earning power become a selling point to be a good wife, partner and mate?


There is a enormous difference between being a career woman and a woman with a career. It is a matter of priorities, of choices, of vision.


I believe some men are scared silly of the grit and determination it takes for an ambitious woman to scratch and crawl her way through the glass ceiling. And some women don't know how and when to turn that power surge off.


Is it women who should change or is it men? My way or the highway works at work, but rarely at home.


Fellas, I would like to hear from you on this. There is a polarization between women and men off all ages like I have never seen before in my life. There is anger and resentment on both sides which has turned the battle between the sexes into a nuclear war without winners.

www.robynwrites.com
Robyn McGee, author Hungry for More: A Keeping it Real Guide for Black Women on Weight and Body Image
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People with their egos wrapped up in their jobs annoy me. I'm interested in the technology. I'm only interested in the job for the money. I know a Black woman making $100,000 a year. She lives alone. The last Black man she was with left her and went with a White woman and she freaked.

She's acompulsive buyer. She must have ove $40,000 charged up on her credit cards.

It is like ambitious Black people have too much of a need to prove someting it's a pain in the butt.

umbrarchist
In my rather limited experience of only having being married to one career lady before I would say it was about attention or lack thereof. Coming home to an empty house, day in and day out, does not equate to having a home. Also women tend to bring their work home with them, in mind and attitude if not in actual work. I am sure some or most men do the same, but seriously if I wanted to be married to career driven, snappish, sometimes waspish, pushy and forceful person (often needed to succeed in business), I would have married my ugly, male boss for his big income.
Not sure if there is a difference between a career woman and a woman with a career, but my wife is career oriented pushing herself to finish two Masters Degrees which will hopefully put her in a position to formulate health care policy whether it be locally or at a higher level, this while moving into a new position with a clear track to health care management.

Other then the occasional grumbling about having to fix dinner all the time I am comfortable with her drive and ambition. I think sometimes it deals more with a man's preception about being the provider then it does about a women being career driven.

On a side note I remember when my wife asked me did it bother me that she was making more money then me, an issue that alot of men have a problem with; I replied HELL NO! and promptly showed her my plans for early retirement.

When life gives you lemons make lemonade Cool
Last year I dated a sista who has aspirations of being a career woman, she wants to be a successful attorney. Although I enjoyed dating her because of her intellect and consciousness I wasn't about to get with a woman who does not want to have any babies. That seems to be the common theme for a lot of these future career women because they're so caught up in trying to move up in that corporate ladder. These women have no time for a kid when they have to put in 14 hour days in the office. The last thing these sistas need is to be halted for a few months to have a baby. While I respect the aspirations of these career driven women they are definitely not for me. I need a woman like my mama, who worked but it wasn't her number 1 priority. My dad was all ready successful, while my mom worked and paid some bills my moms focus was to raise healthy, conscious African children. She made delicious hot meals, cleaned, and was active in my development.
Counterpoint: Don't Marry A Lazy Man
By Elizabeth Corcoran

Studies aside, modern marriage is a two way street. Men should own up to their responsibilities, too.

Girlfriends: A word of advice. Ask your man the following question: When was the last time you learned something useful, either at home or work?

If the last new skill your guy learned was how to tie his shoes in the second grade, dump him. If he can pick up new ideas faster than your puppy, you've got a winner.

I'm not usually a fan of dipstick tests, particularly when it comes to marriage and relationships. But a downright frightening story written by my colleague, Michael Noer, on our Web site today drove me to it. According to the experts cited by Michael, marrying a "career girl" seems to lead to a fate worse than tangling with a hungry cougar.

OK, call me a cougar. I've been working since the day I graduated from college 20-odd years ago. I have two grade-school-aged children. Work definitely takes up more than 35 hours a week for me. Thankfully, I do seem to make more than $30,000. All of which, according to Michael, should make me a wretched wife.

In spite of those dangerous statistics, my husband and I are about to celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary. You'll see us snuggling at a mountain-winery concert this month, enjoying the occasion. I don't think I'm all that unusual--so it seemed like a good time to test Michael's grim assertions.

The experts cited in his story think that professional women are more likely to get divorced, to cheat and to be grumpy about either having kids or not having them. But rather than rush to blame the woman, let's not overlook the other key variable: What is the guy doing?

Take, for instance, the claim that professional women are more likely to get divorced, because they're more likely to meet someone in the workforce who will be "more attractive" than that old squashed-couch hubby at home.

Women have faced this kind of competition squarely for years. Say you marry your college heartthrob. Ten years later, he's working with some good-looking gals--nymphets just out of college, or the more sophisticated types who spent two years building houses in Africa before they went to Stanford Business School. What do you do? A: Stay home, whine and eat chocolate B: Take up rock climbing, read interesting books and continue to develop that interesting personality he fell in love with in the first place.

Note to guys: Start by going to the gym. Then try some new music. Or a book. Or a movie. Keep connected to the rest of the world. You'll win--and so will your marriage.

There is, of course, the continual dilemma of who does the work around the house. But if both spouses are working, guess what? They've got enough income to hire someone else to fold laundry, mop floors, etc.

Money is a problem? Honestly, the times money has been the biggest problem for us have been when we were short of it--not when one of us is earning more than the other. When we have enough to pay the bills, have some fun and save a bit, seems like the rules of pre-school should take over: Play nice, be fair and take turns.

In two-career couples, Michael frets, there's less specialization in the marriage, so supposedly the union becomes less useful to either party. Look more closely, Mike! Any long-running marriage is packed full of carefully developed--and charmingly offsetting--areas of expertise.

For us, the list starts with taxes, vacation planning and investment management. My husband likes that stuff, and it leaves me yawning. Bless him for doing it. Give me the wireless Internet system, the garden or just about any routine home repairs and I'm suddenly the savant. Tear us apart, and we'd both be pitiful idiots trying to learn unfamiliar routines.

Michael is right that longer work hours force two-career couples to try harder to clear out blocks of family time. When we do, though, we get to enjoy a lot more. We understand each other's career jokes and frustrations. We're better sounding boards on what to do next. And at dinner parties, we actually like to be seated at the same table.

The essence of a good marriage, it seems to me, is that both people have to learn to change and keep on adapting. Children bring tons of change. Mothers encounter it first during the nine months of pregnancy, starting with changing body dimensions. But fathers have to learn to adapt, too, by learning to help care for children, to take charge of new aspects of a household, to adapt as the mothers change.

So guys, if you're game for an exciting life, go ahead and marry a professional gal.



Careers and Marriage - Forbes
I agree with the point about women working.


I REALLY agree with the counterpoint about intellectually lazy men.

If men handled their business, women wouldn't be so eager to try to be men.


On the other hand, AFFIRMATIVE ACTION was passed to give minorities and women jobs. At first, the crackas hated it - until they realized how to make it work for them:

Forced to give jobs to minorities and women? Well, damn, let's hire minority women and kill 2 birds with one stone - AND, it'll tear the black family apart because we won't hire the men and we'll make the women lose respect for them and think they have jobs because they work harder.

They'll come home after a long day to this nigga on the couch or out getting into trouble and the relationship WON'T LAST.

Downright diabolical.


I was here when most women were home raising their kids and kids went to school, carried books and we weren't killing each other or having babies.

Girls wore dresses and acted like ladies. And, boys carried schoolbooks and carried things for women, opened doors, etc.

I've had a front-row seat watching blacks devolve and degenerate without the mother there and the father working.

Now, we have a generation of men who don't even want to work and a generation of women who think it's okay to be men and thinks women and men are equals.

We're NOT equal - that's the biggest lie ever told. That's like saying apples and oranges are equal - each has a distinct role.

The women's movement was another 'worse thing that ever happened to us'. I was here before they were 'liberated' and I've watched women turn into men or whores.

When it first happened, women starting f*cking everybody because they were free, Then they started getting abortions because they were free. Then, they started the sex industry because they were free.

The many industries would end OVERNIGHT if WOMEN simply kept their clothes on and legs closed:

Porn
Strip Clubs
Prostitution
Abortion
Adoption

I used to think that demonic men were behind all this until I thought about it - they can't do shit if there's no WILLING FEMALES.

Well, porn is the biggest industry on the internet. THAT'S what 'liberating' women will do.

They don't NEED liberation, they need GOOD MEN WITH JOBS. Another major factor for why women are running RAMPANT is that there are TOO MANY single women in the world.

Why do you think that is? It's because there are five times more women than men - in any society that doesn't kill female babies...

Our men aren't strong enough to deal with that problem, either.

So, m5any of our women have turned into pigs. Pigs with jobs in a world full of equally piggish black men with NO JOBS or employable skills or knowledge about anything other than sports and rap.

They really did a number on us...

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