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What are your opinions of the Essence piece?

http://www.essence.com/essence/lifestyle/globetrippin/0,16109,1227036,00.html
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And here I thought only rich old white men made exotic trips to Thailand to sleep with pre-pubescent girls(and possibly boys). The concept of sexual turism is absolutely sickening to me no matter where it exists. I will attest to the fact that brasileiras are some of the most beautiful women in the world, but then again I'm biased.
About fifteen years ago [when I was single], a buddy came back from Brazil with stories that would rival the wildest of weekends in Bangkok or Manila. I immediately booked my flight. Then, a female friend [that works in public health] told me not to go because of the aids rate. When I insised that I was going to go, she bought me a going away present ... 5 boxes of condoms.

I got the hint. I went, but did not partake ... Much.
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
I went from a naive 19 year old kid to a wide awake grown ass man with the quickness. Eek


Interesting........ Eek

But really, after reading that article my thoughts about men traveling to Brazil has changed.

Whenever a brotha tells me that he vacations there (and i know a few that do), i know hes not the one for me, and i move along. Smile
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
I went from a naive 19 year old kid to a wide awake grown ass man with the quickness. Eek


Interesting........ Eek

But really, after reading that article my thoughts about men traveling to Brazil has changed.

Whenever a brotha tells me that he vacations there (and i know a few that do), i know hes not the one for me, and i move along. Smile


Disclaimer: Gambit didnt do anything there (cause like in the present, in the past Gambit had no game. Frown )

Question: Are you holding the men responsible for what goes on down there or for "promoting" it? *not being mean just want to see a womans POV..please dont hit me with chair today..I'm sick. sad)
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
Disclaimer: Gambit didnt do anything there (cause like in the present, in the past Gambit had no game. Frown )

Question: Are you holding the men responsible for what goes on down there or for "promoting" it? *not being mean just want to see a womans POV..please dont hit me with chair today..I'm sick. sad)




You had game, you just didnt know it... Big Grin

But to answer your question....

I really didnt pay too much attention, when men talked about Brazil, because people will stretch the truth, just a little.

But when i read the article, i realized that these guys actually go, just for sex.............and theyre all sexing the same women. (for money)

Now, Aids (and im quite sure other stds) is an issue? ........Nahhhhh i'll pass.
quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:
Some of us like the music ... Frown


yeah I would hate for people to think automatically that all men go to Brazil to do is have sex (for money or for free). 14 I'm sure it happens, shoot i'm willing to bet it happens quite alot(a friend of mine says brazil has the most beautiful women in the world bow Eek-so I'm sure some go just for the women spank), but i would hate for someone to form generalizations about all men who go there based on those who do engage in this "activity" when they go.-that can't be the only reason for a man to go there can it? sck
quote:
Originally posted by msprettygirl:


yeah I would hate for people to think automatically that all men go to Brazil to do is have sex (for money or for free). 14 I'm sure it happens, shoot i'm willing to bet it happens quite alot(a friend of mine says brazil has the most beautiful women in the world bow Eek-so I'm sure some go just for the women spank), but i would hate for someone to form generalizations about all men who go there based on those who do engage in this "activity" when they go.-that can't be the only reason for a man to go there can it? sck



Generalizations are bad, but its our lives that we have to consider, and think of whats more important.

I do have friends, that have gone........and had issues with this type of behavior. Not only that, they had issues with the way 'some' that live there, are being treated. Apparently they are racist against those that are dark skinned. (another story)

The point i made was this.......

If i knowingly, interact with a man, that loves to hang out in Brazil.............i do know that im taking changes with my life.

Im not willing to do that...
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:

Some of us like the music ... Frown


Sureeeeeeeeeee, and theres a portion of the BKLYN bridge, that i want to sell you. Razz

Im just joking........

But do you understand my point of view? Smile


btw, HB.....have you been to Brazil?



No I haven't been to Brazil ... But I do really love the music ... Big Grin

I do see your point. It's possibly a red flag ...

quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
quote:
Originally posted by msprettygirl:


yeah I would hate for people to think automatically that all men go to Brazil to do is have sex (for money or for free). 14 I'm sure it happens, shoot i'm willing to bet it happens quite alot(a friend of mine says brazil has the most beautiful women in the world bow Eek-so I'm sure some go just for the women spank), but i would hate for someone to form generalizations about all men who go there based on those who do engage in this "activity" when they go.-that can't be the only reason for a man to go there can it? sck



Generalizations are bad, but its our lives that we have to consider, and think of whats more important.

I do have friends, that have gone........and had issues with this type of behavior. Not only that, they had issues with the way 'some' that live there, are being treated. Apparently they are racist against those that are dark skinned. (another story)

The point i made was this.......

If i knowingly, interact with a man, that loves to hang out in Brazil.............i do know that im taking changes with my life.

Im not willing to do that...


Well, if you interact with this man (I'm guessing) as a romantic interest why not, rather than come to (perhaps) faulty conclusions about his lifestyle and love for Brazilian culture, just ask pointblank if he goes there mainly for the sex. Or if he's promiscuous. Or been tested for STDs. Then the only question left is if you believe the man to be honest.
quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:

Well, if you interact with this man (I'm guessing) as a romantic interest why not, rather than come to (perhaps) faulty conclusions about his lifestyle and love for Brazilian culture, just ask pointblank if he goes there mainly for the sex. Or if he's promiscuous. Or been tested for STDs. Then the only question left is if you believe the man to be honest.



Actually i have a 'friend' that visits often, and i would never date him, or ask why.

But to be fair.......i really dont think, too many men are going to say, that they go anywhere just for sex. Also its more than just sex, its the mentality that goes along with that type of behavior.

I would never tell a man, whats right or wrong.......its his life/choice.
quote:
Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
Question: Are you holding the men responsible for what goes on down there or for "promoting" it? *not being mean just want to see a womans POV..please dont hit me with chair today..I'm sick. sad)


My POV.

I wasn't aware of this trend. If it really is one.

But I have noticed men going on about Brazilian women before. And when picking out the faves from the country with the most Black people in this hemisphere, the women pointed out tend not to be so Black.

With enough color as to not be White, but White enough to be a touchdown.

So with that background, I began to read the article with an eye biased towards disappointment already.

Not only are self-hating Black men lusting Brazil for these trophies, but paying women for fake affection?

And I waited for the men to find a way to blame this on American women.

Prepared to puke.

But the article didn't go there.

Actually, I kinda got bored with it because it made these guys sound not too unlike the stereotypical American sex tourist. Except for being Black.

While just as disguisting, it's not that much more horrible.

I'm interested in reading his article on Black American women going on sex vacations.

Comparing and contrasting it with Black male sex tourists and White female sex tourists.

I haven't seen the article he mentioned, though.
Damn, some of y'all kill me with all the moralizing. If a man (or woman) is sexually responsible, who cares if they vacation somewhere because sexual partners are plentiful? If it's not your cup of tea, cool. As usual, instead of just discussing the story in the context provided by the author, people start adding their regular must be self-hating, misogynist tract to the topic.

Bottom line, a recent STD/HIV blood panel and condom should be in hand before you have sex with anyone, whether they vacation for sex or not.
quote:
Generalizations are bad, but its our lives that we have to consider, and think of whats more important.

I agree

I do have friends, that have gone........and had issues with this type of behavior. Not only that, they had issues with the way 'some' that live there, are being treated. Apparently they are racist against those that are dark skinned. (another story)

one could say the same thing about the US

The point i made was this.......

If i knowingly, interact with a man, that loves to hang out in Brazil.............i do know that im taking changes with my life.

Im not willing to do that...

You could be knowingly taking a chance with your life interacting with a black man that loves to hang out here in the US, the HIV rate amongst black men in this country is pretty high as well


I hate stories like this and the people who tell them. Brasil is a poor nation and its people are exploited. This is a form of exploitation that only furthers the stereotype that Brasil is only about sex and carnaval. Most of the women that prostitute themselves do so in the hopes of getting a better life, as most tend to be students or single-mothers. While the guy and people like him are not totally to blame, the glorification of his actions is sickening.
quote:
Originally posted by ddouble:
Damn, some of y'all kill me with all the moralizing. If a man (or woman) is sexually responsible, who cares if they vacation somewhere because sexual partners are plentiful? If it's not your cup of tea, cool. As usual, instead of just discussing the story in the context provided by the author, people start adding their regular must be self-hating, misogynist tract to the topic.

Bottom line, a recent STD/HIV blood panel and condom should be in hand before you have sex with anyone, whether they vacation for sex or not.



Self hating?

I never said that a man SHOULDNT go to Brazil. I said that i dont deal with these type of men, that go on sexual vacations, paying for sex. (and trust i know several men that do this).

Thats my choice.......whats wrong with that?
quote:
Originally posted by msprettygirl:
quote:
Generalizations are bad, but its our lives that we have to consider, and think of whats more important.

I agree

I do have friends, that have gone........and had issues with this type of behavior. Not only that, they had issues with the way 'some' that live there, are being treated. Apparently they are racist against those that are dark skinned. (another story)

one could say the same thing about the US

The point i made was this.......

If i knowingly, interact with a man, that loves to hang out in Brazil.............i do know that im taking changes with my life.

Im not willing to do that...

You could be knowingly taking a chance with your life interacting with a black man that loves to hang out here in the US, the HIV rate amongst black men in this country is pretty high as well




Yes, the HIV rate is high in this country, and thats why a lot of people refuse to deal with men/women that are involved with risky behavior.

Im not judging anyone.... Smile
quote:
Originally posted by Zé:
I hate stories like this and the people who tell them. Brasil is a poor nation and its people are exploited. This is a form of exploitation that only furthers the stereotype that Brasil is only about sex and carnaval. Most of the women that prostitute themselves do so in the hopes of getting a better life, as most tend to be students or single-mothers. While the guy and people like him are not totally to blame, the glorification of his actions is sickening.


I didnt want to bring this up, because this opens up a can of worms, and the battle begins.

But i also found this distasteful....and any man that supports this, is someone that i would rather not bother with.
quote:
Originally posted by ddouble:
I wasn't talking about you qty - you didn't say those things. But someone did, in fact someone always does...

I agree it is your choice, but to write someone off because they vacation in Brazil is a bit rash IMO.



Ohh ok... Smile

I have to say this........in society, its acceptable for men to have sex with multiple partners. Its almost encouraged.......but to me, men that behave this way, have a hard time being in committed relationships.

These same men though, will have issues with a woman, that has had so many sexual partners.

To me, fair is fair.........
quote:
Originally posted by msprettygirl:
The point i made was this.......

If i knowingly, interact with a man, that loves to hang out in Brazil.............i do know that im taking changes with my life.

Im not willing to do that...

You could be knowingly taking a chance with your life interacting with a black man that loves to hang out here in the US, the HIV rate amongst black men in this country is pretty high as well


For real. And who knows what the next popular hunting ground will be.

quote:
Originally posted by ddouble:
I wasn't talking about you qty - you didn't say those things. But someone did, in fact someone always does...


Oops! Did I talk about misogyny?

Did I slip some some moral values into the convo again?

I didn't mean to.

*here's a tear-wipe for someone who always needs one. . .*
Morality is relative. Sexual norms differ around the world. Tourism is built on exploitation, no matter what the draw is.

Just send me a PM when you find that article about female sex tourists and feel the barf rising about their conduct. I won't wait by the PC while you vigorously search for it and compose your biting response to it... Roll Eyes
quote:
Originally posted by msprettygirl:
So qty let me understand-are you opposed to dating any man that vacations in brazil, just based on him going there or are you opposed to dating men that go to Brazil with the specific intent of engaging in sexual tourism?



I 'personally' have yet to meet a man, that goes to Brazil, without focusing on women/sex.

Just take a look at the responses on this thread, and you'll see each and every man.......spoke about sex/booty, etc.

My point is this, because of the responses and what i hear, from my friends, .......if a man is into traveling there, i have to assume that he is engaging in sexual tourism.
Women who travel for sun and sex-July 16, 2006 Edition 1 The Sunday Independent
The men are young, gorgeous and up for it. No wonder western women see a Third World holiday as a gateway to casual transactional sex. But as a new film highlights female sex tourism, Liz Hoggard asks who pays the price


An attractive woman sips a cocktail under a bamboo shade. The sand is dazzlingly white, the sea aquamarine. A handsome young man approaches her and showers her with compliments: she is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen, he says. For the first time in years, she truly believes she is desirable.

But this holiday romance is not all it seems. The woman is white, in her late 50s; the man, black, 18 - and paid for his attentions. The scene - from the controversial new French film, Heading South, which opened this weekend, starring Charlotte Rampling, makes us confront uncomfortable truths about sexuality in a globalised world, and the legacy of colonialism.

In the film, an intelligent, provocative take on sex tourism in the late 1970s, Rampling plays Ellen, an American professor who spends every summer at a private resort in Haiti where beautiful, muscled black boys are available to the female clientele, mostly affluent single women in their forties, who despair of finding mates through more conventional means. "More than sex, they are seeking a tenderness that the world is refusing them," the film's director, Laurence Cantet, explains.

Fast-forward 30 years, and the reality of sex tourism is anything but tender. Today beach resorts in developing countries such as Kuta in Bali, Negril in Jamaica and Boca Chica and Sosua in the Dominican Republic have become pick-up spots for women tourists. Tour companies even market package deals as sex holidays for single and unaccompanied women. Forget Shirley Valentine, these women - who range from grandmothers to teens - don't want a long-term relationship. And there's plenty of live flesh on sale.

Take Jamaica, where 17 percent of the population lives below the poverty line. Hustling on the beach is the only way that some young men can feed themselves and their families. No wonder they choose older women, who pay better than younger ones. In Negril, the men can earn $100 (about R710) for sex with a female tourist, R1 170 for oral sex, which Jamaican men usually regard as taboo. Many others are hired as a guide to the island and throw in sexual services, often just for as meal or a place to sleep.

The definition of a sex tourist is an adult who travels in order to have legal consensual sexual relations with another adult, often for the exchange of money or presents. We still assume that a sex tourist will be male - indeed many regard the relationship between beach boy and female tourist as harmless fun. The woman gets guilt-free sex while keeping a firm hold on the purse strings. Where's the harm?
Jane, 67, a divorcee, has spent the past 10 years holidaying in West Africa. She loves the climate and the people - and she especially loves the men. "They are so wonderfully flattering. They make you feel like a real woman. I don't mind paying for their drinks and meals if they stay the night." Divorced, with two grown-up sons, she explains, "White men my own age are so set in their ways; they just want another wife."

For others, this is exploitation pure and simple. Even where no money is exchanged, this sort of behaviour destabilises local communities and families. Ignorance and lack of concern about the abject poverty and lack of choice that characterises the men's lives leads the women to romanticise their actions. It is true that women sex tourists are still outnumbered by the legions of men who travel to Thailand and the Philippines for sex with prostitutes. Charities such as Amnesty and Unicef have no official policy on female sex tourism, preferring to focus on protecting trafficked women and children.

Chris Beddoe, director of Ecpat UK, the children's rights organisation that campaigns against child sex tourism, believes: "If both adult partners are open and honest about what they're getting out of it, that's one thing. But it's another thing to continue the fantasy when there's a denial of the power that money brings to that relationship that creates a culture of dependency and exploitation."

Nirpal Dhaliwal, author of the recent novel, Tourism (which satirises older white women turned on by young brown flesh), takes a tougher view. "Women enjoy casual sex and prostitution, too, but with far more hypocrisy. They help themselves to men in the developing world, kidding themselves that it's a 'holiday romance' that has nothing to do with the money they spend. Go to any Jamaican beach and you'll find handsome 'rent-a-dreads', who get by servicing western women -lots from Britain. I've seen similar things in Goa."

Next month a new play, Sugar Mummies, about the pleasures and perils of sex tourism opens at London's Royal Court Theatre. Set in the Jamaican beach resort of Negril, it centres on a group of British and American women, seeking sun, sea, sand ... and uninhibited sex with a handsome stranger. Sexually frank and often very funny, the play doesn't pull its punches. The playwright, Tanika Gupta, travelled to Jamaica to research the subject first-hand, and says she was shocked to find how female tourists objectify the black male body........

"The older female tourists even confided to Gupta that although Jamaica was lovely and laid-back, the Dominican Republic and Cuba were "dirt cheap". "You can go as young as you want in Cuba," one woman boasted. For all the talk of romance, the language of sex tourism is pretty basic. In Jamaica the men are called "beach boys" or "Rastatutes". The women are called milk bottles by the men - because of their white skin and because they are seen as vessels waiting to be filled.

Another myth the play explodes is that sex tourism is perpetrated only by white women. In Jamaica, Gupta met many black American women hiring beach boys. "They might be going back to their roots, or feeling more economically powerful, but they were still buying the same services."..........

Gupta was inspired to write Sugar Mummies after reading the research by British sociologists Jacqueline Sanchez Taylor and Julia O'Connell into female sex tourism in the Caribbean. They decided to carry out their own research when they found that the usual analysis of sex tourism does not consider women as buyers of sexual services, because prostitute-users are seen, by definition, as male.

They interviewed 240 women holidaying in Negril, and two similar resorts in the Dominican Republic. Almost a third said they had engaged in sexual relationships with local men. Though 60 percent admitted to certain "economic elements" to their liaisons, they did not perceive their sexual encounters as a prostitute-client transaction. Instead they insisted they were helping the men, and the local economy, by giving them money and gifts. When asked to describe "boyfriends", most emphasised how for them black Jamaican men possessed bodies of great sexual value.

One 42-year-old English woman who travelled at least three times a year to Boca Chica in the Dominican Republic said: "I'm not naïve. I've been around the block. I come for sex - of course the sun, but mostly the sex. I'm not coming to live and set up house with a guy. I just want some fun and good sex."

"Female sex tourism is much more informal," says Sanchez Taylor, a lecturer in sociology at Leeds University. "It takes place in bars. There's no way for women to go into a brothel and say, 'I want a blow job'. "Women who feel rejected by men in the West for being fatter and older find that in Jamaica all this is reversed," says Sanchez Taylor..........

The problem comes, she says, when the women start believing the men they have hooked up with are in love with them. "They confuse what is actually a financial transaction with real love. If you have low self-esteem, if you've not had much luck, if you're older ... you are likely to be more susceptible," says Gupta. Some women even marry their boyfriends and take them home to Britain, although few relationships survive the cultural difference.

Jamica's most famous holiday romance has recently come crashing down. Female tourism boomed after Terry McMillan's hit novel, How Stella Got Her Groove Back, was made into a Hollywood film. The novel - in which Stella, a divorced black woman in her forties, takes a holiday to Jamaica, where she meets and falls in love with Winston, a local man half her age - was a fictionalised account of McMillan's own marriage to Jeremy Plummer, 23 years her junior. This year, McMillan, 53, filed for divorce, claiming that the marriage was based on a "fraud'' because Plummer lied about his sexual orientation and married her only to gain US citizenship. He denies it.

It is a nasty twist that the countries where this sort of tourism is most rife are ex-slave colonies. Many are still dealing with the fallout of colonialism. The urban economy doesn't even belong to the local people. Yet the women who sleep with the beach boys insist they are helping race relations. They flatter themselves they have gone native.......

One 21-year-old migrant from Haiti who had been working in Sosua, told Sanchez Taylor that he even had to "snog" his tourist client despite a bad toothache and a swollen face. If he did not, he would not be able to afford the antibiotics to cure it.......

"I'm not saying anything about mixed-race relationships, I'm talking about these sex-tourist relationships where women go out there specifically to have sex. It will probably backfire and a whole load more women will go off to Jamaica." - Foreign Service
quote:
Originally posted by qty226:
I 'personally' have yet to meet a man, that goes to Brazil, without focusing on women/sex.
Just curious... Is there a place on earth where a man/men go(es) to vacation, by himself, or "with his boys", and the emphasis is not about having sex?

I ask this seriously... I mean prostitutes are certainly not limited to Brasil...

"Sex is easy..." I have heard that about "spring break", about Vegas, about New Orleans, about L.A., about Europe, about Japan... I'm am pretty sure that a man could go just about anywhere and encounter the same thing...
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Sex, sand and sugar mummies in a Caribbean beach fantasy

Lorna Martin at Negril Beach
Sunday July 23, 2006-The Observer
...... An estimated 80,000 single women, from teenagers to grandmothers, flock to the island every year and use the services of around 200 men known as 'rent a dreads', 'rastitutes' or 'the Foreign Service' who make this resort their headquarters.

Female sex tourism is nothing new.....These days the women who participate are more likely to be single professionals than bored Shirley Valentine housewives. With females staying single longer and rising divorce rates, these holidays are expected to explode in popularity in the years ahead. Consequently they are the subject of a sudden flurry of books, films and plays examining the motivations of women who travel for sex, love and affection.....

Before it has even opened, the play has ignited a heated debate about the rights and wrongs of female sex tourism: is it harmless fun, a mutually beneficial business transaction? Or is it exploitation and, if so, who is the victim and who is the perpetrator - the women who fall for declarations of true love or the mostly poor, underemployed men who make them? What makes it different from male sex tourism, which is normally seen as sleazy and abhorrent? And is it, as many critics argue, perpetuating the racist myth of the hyper-sexual black man?

The gigolos working on Negril beach offer a simple explanation for their role in what is commonly, though euphemistically, called 'romance tourism'. 'For us it's a fun and easy way to make money,' says Leroy. 'For her, she gets some real good lovin'. All the English ladies who come here complain about the men back home. They say they are cold and selfish, mechanical and uncomplimentary. We know how to make a lady feel good.'

His friend explains that there is no welfare state in Jamaica. Staff who work in the hotels, which charge guests from about £120 a night, earn between £40 and £50 a week. The hard-working and high-earning but lonely western women who come to the island seem like millionaires. 'We are all poor in Jamaica. What we do is more fun and more money than working in a hotel.'

It can be extremely lucrative, but the idea that the men charge a certain price for a set service simply doesn't happen. There seems to be a mutual but tacitly agreed deception at the heart of the gigolo-client relationship. Payment is rarely mentioned because this would shatter the illusion that she is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen and he has fallen desperately in love with her. Instead, after charming the women and offering to be their guide, the gigolos set about, sometimes in subtle ways, extracting as much money as possible...

.....strolling along the water's edge are Jackie, a 38-year-old single woman who works in London as an advertising manager, and Andrew, 24. Jackie is short with dark hair and a plain but attractive face. She met Andrew, tall and slender but solidly built, during a holiday to the island with two girlfriends last December. She has returned to spend a week with him. Only one close friend knows she is here. 'I'd heard about these guys who trawl the beach and I wondered what kind of stupid woman would fall for that kind of thing,' Jackie says. 'At first when Andrew approached me, I dismissed him. I hadn't come here looking for any kind of relationship. I came to get over one. 'But he persisted. He wooed and charmed me. He was funny and very complimentary. I was with my friends and I was a bit worried that they would disapprove. But I thought, "what the hell, you only live once". And I suppose there was a bit of me that wanted to do something slightly adventurous.'

Like many of the women here, Jackie is offended by any suggestion that she is merely a sex tourist and that Andrew is, in effect, a prostitute. 'I see nothing immoral about it. I regard it more as a temporary love affair. He tells me all the things I want to hear, and I guess in return I pay for everything - meals, accommodation, transport, tours - and buy him gifts. But that is because I have much more money than he does. It is mutually beneficial,' she insists.

'When he tells me I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever seen and that he loves my body, I know it might not be absolutely true, but it's nice to hear. The affection, attention, intimacy and compliments are equally, if not more, important to me than the sexual aspect of the relationship.' Jackie said Andrew raised the money issue the morning after they had first slept together. He told her he could not afford to pay his rent and needed to get his car repaired. She has been sending cash to him every month ever since.....

....During her visit, she identified four types of female sex tourist. The 'Ibiza-type' are young, frisky and just looking for a good time. 'Many of them were sexy, beautiful, young and slim,' says Gupta. 'But because they didn't have that much money, the guys weren't interested.' The second group are in their mid- to late-30s and desperate for a baby, perhaps a cute brown one. She saw many simply looking for love, and finally what she called the 'grandmother-type': white-haired, sixty-something women walking along the beach hand in hand with fit, handsome young men. 'After about five minutes on the beach, I felt like Naomi Campbell,' Gupta says. 'No matter what you look like or what size you are, they have the patter to make you feel as if you are a supermodel. You see women melting in front of these guys and I can completely understand why.'.....

'A lot of the women talked about how big the men are and how they can go all night. I was shocked at the way they objectified the black male body. But what I found most depressing was that the whole thing is not real. So many of the women think they have found real love. It's all very delusional. At first I thought it was all about white women exploiting black men. But it's not. It's very mutual. The guys are just as exploitative and you come away thinking this is such a sad, sick world that we live in.'......

The play is tough on the sex tourists, says Gupta. 'But what I hoped to achieve was an exploration of why these women feel so invisible in the West that they feel they have to go and pay for affirmation. It uses humour because there is something highly amusing about the fact that there are fifty-something women who believe these beautiful 18-year-old men have fallen in love with them at first sight.' Others see such deals as an inevitable function of the global distribution of wealth and even a sign of growing equality between the sexes. Jeannette Belliveau, 51, a former sex tourist who is now happily remarried, has just written a book, Romance on the Road, about the steady stream of lonely women heading from the West to developing countries.

Belliveau became an 'accidental sex pilgrim' after the break-up of her first marriage to a 'difficult, complex Englishman'. In the book she recounts a decade of flings, some lasting one night, others several years long, with men from the Caribbean, Brazil and Greece. She said that she wrote her book partly to counter the negative views put forward by the small number of academics who have studied the subject.

She also wanted to 'normalise' the experience, which she says for many British and American women creates unnecessary feelings of shame, anxiety and secrecy. 'There is the view that these women are guilty of hypocrisy and that they are exploiting poor men. This is nonsense. Sex between two adults that doesn't harm either partner is without question a good thing. I learnt so much from it. It healed me after a painful divorce.....

She believes female sex tourism is increasing because of shortages of suitable men, the hassles of the dating game back home and due to many professional women living in sexual exile, with fragmented social connections. 'Back home in the West, many strong-minded, feisty women tend to intimidate guys - they focus on their careers and neglect their personal lives - but many black men seem to like and loudly express an appreciation for headstrong, independent, bantering and financially sound women. It does not take a great sex siren in these places to draw men like a magnet.'

She is critical of those who regard it as prostitution or a hangover from slavery. 'It seems to me that these critics are implicitly saying, oddly like members of the National Front, that women shouldn't date or fall in love outside their race, nationality or economic group. Casual travel sex by women, whether they are 20 or 60, is in everybody's best interests. I don't see it as exploitation. I see it as adults having fun.'......

Two English women, both in their late 30s, have been coming here two to three times a year since 2002. They have each had several Jamaican lovers. For them, it is harmless fun, but they have seen another side to it. 'Our friend came with us last year and fell head over heels,' says Anna, a nurse from Essex, who is standing arm in arm with Rodney, a good-looking 19-year-old. 'We warned her that the guy was a hustler, but she didn't believe us and said we were just jealous. They slept together, and then he started asking for money. For nearly a year, she sent him cash for rent, for a passport, for everything. When she missed a month, he phoned asking where his money was. When she said she couldn't afford it, he told her she'd have to find herself another beach boy. She was heartbroken.'

Anna goes to the bar and I ask Rodney if he loves her. He smiles. 'I have a lot of special friends,' he says. He pulls out his wallet and shows me photographs of five women. His 'special friends' are from Britain, America and Germany, with two from Canada. I ask who his favourite is and why. 'Connie,' he says with a dreamy-eyed grin, pointing to a white-haired but attractive American woman in her early 50s. 'She's got a lot of money. She pays for me to go to college, and when I'm finished she's going to take me to live in America with her. That is what we all want; to live in America or Britain.'

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