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Like I said ignorant people like you whith your thinking who hate on people for not being "black enough" is the reason our race has been opressed for so many years. It's the same thing with "light is better" and all that other B.S. I mean why spend so much time focusing on whats "black enough" or whats "white enough" when we all need to stick together and be united as one which isn't going to happen if there's hate within our own community.I mean seriously your grown so act like it.

I mean your the sista that never dated a black guy unless he was mixed you told on yourself, and you have to nerve to say someone else is the reason why black people are being oppressed, thank god most of our sistas dont think like you, we may not even have a black community we would all be mulatto, now get on back over there with them white boyhats
quote:
Originally posted by ZAKAR:
Like I said ignorant people like you whith your thinking who hate on people for not being "black enough" is the reason our race has been opressed for so many years. It's the same thing with "light is better" and all that other B.S. I mean why spend so much time focusing on whats "black enough" or whats "white enough" when we all need to stick together and be united as one which isn't going to happen if there's hate within our own community.I mean seriously your grown so act like it.

I mean your the sista that never dated a black guy unless he was mixed you told on yourself, and you have to nerve to say someone else is the reason why black people are being oppressed, thank god most of our sistas dont think like you, we may not even have a black community we would all be mulatto, now get on back over there with them white boyhats


Yep. That conclusion would make more sense than the reason being sexual harassment and the condoning of such abuse.

Ya'll have nerve questioning her Blackness because she dates White men while ignoring the ways she's been treated by Black men.

Yeah. I'm sure she's feeling the love from Black men.

Just the connection she was looking for. Objectify her body now and watch her swoon. Roll Eyes
Yep. That conclusion would make more sense than the reason being sexual harassment and the condoning of such abuse.

Ya'll have nerve questioning her Blackness because she dates White men while ignoring the ways she's been treated by Black men.

Yeah. I'm sure she's feeling the love from Black men.

Just the connection she was looking for. Objectify her body now and watch her swoon.


what a bunch of bullshyt, she's the one who said she never dated a black guy, thats telling right there. Since some black men said some sexual things to her, we all objectify her? get fucking real, she just doesnt want to admit she has an identiy problem. How else can you explain never dating a black man, or coming up with those bubble gum names for your child. If she is into white men more power to her, but dont come around here talking about how great white men are and how bad black men are, given the savage history between black women and white men
quote:
Originally posted by ZAKAR:
what a bunch of bullshyt, she's the one who said she never dated a black guy, thats telling right there. Since some black men said some sexual things to her, we all objectify her? get fucking real, she just doesnt want to admit she has an identiy problem. How else can you explain never dating a black man, or coming up with those bubble gum names for your child. If she is into white men more power to her, but dont come around here talking about how great white men are and how bad black men are, given the savage history between black women and white men


She said that she hasn't had a connection with unmixed Black men. Should she force herself on men who don't like her because she isn't naming her child Lashadalintishqua or won't do other things to prove her Blackness to you guys?

Ya'll latched on to her reporting men who came on to her with sexual harassment, yet I haven't seen you wave a finger at the harassers. You just dogged her for not putting up with the abuse.

You obviously don't care much about the community.

You just care about the situation because she's one Black woman who you can't count as yours.

Don't act as if you guys care about Black unity while continuing not to lend an ear to women's issues and degrading women for not accepting abuse from Black men.

Stop the bull.
Don't act as if you guys care about Black unity while continuing not to lend an ear to women's issues and degrading women for not accepting abuse from Black men.


how can you equate this chick only dating mixed or white guys to us not caring about the community are you an idiot or what. What if i as a black man said i never dated a black woman unless she was mixed, what would you black women have said. You can say you care about black people and not date them? Doesnt make sense. But of course chicks like you would jump on a womans side no matter what and any criticism a man might have about a woman is somehow bashing women, when all you guys do is talk down about black men.

"black enough" or whats "white enough"

who said anything about being black enough? obviously see feels she has more in common with white folk. If that is it , cool but dont come in here with that bullshyt about caring about your people when you cant even have one as your mate
This is too funny...

It's always the far right xenophobes that do the most bitching about inter-racial dating. As if it were the end of the world that there would be ONE Black man/woman out there that YOU can't/won't have!

But hey, if that's your hang up... no problem. Go and get yourself something that you like. You do you...

* And leave everyone else the fuck alone!!! *
Glamour it's ok. I understand how you feel. I was the same way in high school too. I mostly went to a White. Most blacks in mostly white highs are more then likely going to be biraical. I was the only full Black girl in my whole school. The rest were biraical. All the Blacks guys were younger then me and were my brothers friends. So no I wasn't trying to date them. The guy I wieth right now is Black. Glamour being a preppy isn't white. A preppy is a popular people. Or the cool people. I was a goth back in middle school. I have a website you should join. I'm on it too. Just PM me.
quote:
Originally posted by Glamour_Dollxoxo:
I'm not gonna lie..... I would date a white guy.In fact I have before and almost all of the guys I have dated except 2(both were biracial) have been caucasian. Like for me there's that connection there and we can connect on so many levels.My last bf was biracial(mom was black dad was white) and I have never been so close to a guy as I was with him which lasted for 8 months, but hopefully we will run into eachother again one day.As far back as I can remember I've always been attracted to caucasian guys,



Peace....


Sister, I gather from your post that your environment for most of your life has been of mixed races or predominately white is that correct?


If so, then it makes sense that you would connect with someone who has been exposed to the same cultural environment...

quote:
but there were some instances where I would like an African American guy but they would blow me off for being "too white" or "preppy"


I understand.... I speak well... and have had brothers actually laugh at me initially because they couldn't believe I spoke like that.... my ex-husband used to call me "London"....

sck

quote:
and as the years went on it go so bad to the point of where a group of African American teenage guys (typical gangsta wannabes who were known to be rude and one had even gotten into a physical fight with his ex girlfriend) would constantly make sexual remarks towards me and I had told them many times that I didn't appreciate the way they treated me,


Good response.... never let a man disrespect you no matter the color...

quote:
and finally one day I had took all I could and reported all 5 of them for sexual harassment to our school's police officer.The sad part of that whole ordeal was that it lasted for weeks and the teacher wasn't any help so I took it to someone higher up.


Good for you... a threat from ANY man should be reported.... I don't care if he's blue black... and the most conscious brother on the planet... no man should sexually harrass a woman.... no man....

quote:
I'm not saying I would never date a black guy


Good for you... trust me... black men are delicious.... smile.... more seasoning and appetizing to the palate than oh say... something bland..... you'll never know until you allow the opportunity.... but, if you are geographically not exposed this may make it difficult.... and if you might be willing to allow for this type of relationship.... well, because of your background, be careful not to take any stereotypes that may be there.....


not saying you do, but it is generally the case that when one is not exposed to something they only carry in their minds a presupposed idea.... not enough experience with the real thing to make an accurate assessment...

but... you'll be fine... you know you're a black woman... and beautiful sister... you are educated and headed for improvement of self.... you were created black... don't deny that there is a man created black.... that will fit you as well... there are many black men that grow up in mixed or predomintely white environments that are seeking the opportunity to get to know their feminine counterpart...

quote:
the right one just hasn't come along yet and to date someone you have to have that connection which most biracial and white guys give to me,but as of now I'm not feeling it towards anyone since I just got out of an 8th month relationship.


ummmm.... talking to choir here a bit.. yeah... I know a little bit about leaving a long relationship jumping into a new one... its good to wait a bit...

but, if the right one comes along, don't let him go....

quote:
But shouldn't relationships be about that special connection and feeling you get when your with someone and someone who loves and appreciates you for being you.


somewhat... yes... but, it is even better to think further.... you will be giving your time, attention and energy to someone.... make sure they will treat you right...

and know that there are plenty of brothers out there that will.....


Peace and Blessings,
Khalliqa
quote:
Originally posted by Shango67:
quote:
there were some instances where I would like an African American guy but they would blow me off for being "too white" or "preppy"

NO... YOU??? Too white??? Are you serious???

That can't be true?
Roll Eyes



quote:
Originally posted by Shango67:
quote:
"Don't snitch cause paybacks a bitch!"

Unless the brother's skin is pitch


Stop it.
quote:
Originally posted by virtue/Khalliqa:
quote:
Originally posted by Shango67:
quote:
there were some instances where I would like an African American guy but they would blow me off for being "too white" or "preppy"

NO... YOU??? Too white??? Are you serious???

That can't be true?
Roll Eyes



quote:
Originally posted by Shango67:
quote:
"Don't snitch cause paybacks a bitch!"

Unless the brother's skin is pitch


Stop it.

Why should I?

Had this been a brother, all types of Black female hell would have broke out.

And for the record, I do not condone sexual harrassment. But I certainly can't stand for the debasement of Black men while white boys are celebrated for their "care, concern, reverence and passion."

White boys and white men are fully aware of the disconnect between Black men and women. Not only have they orchastrated the disconnect, they sit back and wait for sisters to fall.

I don't care what them crackers say to you at work, in the street, or in school... it is all GAME. A game employed to exploit you sexually while helping them deal with their feelings of being sexually inadequate to Black men. It is CONQUEST. The same conquest many of you seem to have no problem addressing when you talk about the sexual behaviors of Black men. This nonsense about white boys being considered because they offer you money, gifts, security and safe passage through amerikkkan society is a complete and utter disgrace. So what? They hold open the door and tell you how EXOTIC you are - and you get all confused???? And knowing that some of you ADVANCED sisters sit around and blush at the bullshit is an eye opener to me.

They are the same flithy crackers who dragged you in chains out of Africa, raped you and our babies in the belly of slave ships, and sold our women in europe and the amerikkkas.

Do any of you sistas who are digging white men remember



Sara Baartman?

Do you remember how they cut up her reproductive system and body parts after her death and kept them on display in europe for decades?

Yes, Black women and men have a whole lot of issues to work out. And even though the conflict is painful, I am down to work it out. But where the rubber meets the road, shacking up with white folks and bearing their fruit is certainly not the answer to our immediate needs.

"mmmmmm... vanilla boys"
Shameful.
quote:
Nope......


But I have been tempted..... many times....

brothers can be harsh.... and cruel....

I know this has nothing to do with race.... but attitude and relating.....

but sometimes......

a woman can get bogged down......

I work at a firm full of white men that treat me like an exotic princess......

I'm not attracted to any of them.....

though I am consciously aware that they are what many could deem as "attractive"......

after going through emotional rollercoasters with Black Men.....

sometimes your heart distorts your rational mind.....

and the white man opening the door..... offering to buy you dinner..... or alleviate your financial burden..... or comments on your beauty......

Fucking disgrace.
quote:
brothers can be harsh.... and cruel....

and
quote:
after going through emotional rollercoasters with Black Men.....

You pull your shoes up, fix your face, get healed (at least try), and hope the next brother is different.

That is what I after I run into a cruel and harsh Black woman.

You will not catch me secretly wondering what it would be like to let Suzie or Jane take care of my needs.
Here is my ENTIRE post:

quote:
Originally posted by Virtue:

Nope......


But I have been tempted..... many times....

brothers can be harsh.... and cruel....

I know this has nothing to do with race.... but attitude and relating.....

but sometimes......

a woman can get bogged down......


I work at a firm full of white men that treat me like an exotic princess......

I'm not attracted to any of them.....

though I am consciously aware that they are what many could deem as "attractive"......

after going through emotional rollercoasters with Black Men.....

sometimes your heart distorts your rational mind.....


and the white man opening the door..... offering to buy you dinner..... or alleviate your financial burden..... or comments on your beauty......

just feels good.......

when the beautiful Black man you just left......

forgets you're there......



good thing... my rational mind is strong..... Wink
and my energy stays magnetized to the chocolatist (yep! a word right now) of men....



smile....

Peace,
Virtue
quote:
Originally posted by Shango67:
Why should I?


Because the sister is young... Because the sister was not attacking you... because the sister was just sharing herself with the board... because the sister has not been exposed to an overwhelming lot of positive black male experiences... before she is attacked by one.... attacking her doesn't give comfort to her that a black man is what she needs... it could possibly be feeding the negative experiences she's already had.... you attack her insecurity, you could have simply affirmed her identity..... you attacked her experiences, you could have affirmed her opportunities.... Zakar attacked her decision to protect herself... frankly as a woman there's no excuse for that... none..

quote:
Had this been a brother, all types of Black female hell would have broke out.


so be it... that's no excuse to always haul off and go off on someone...

quote:
And for the record, I do not condone sexual harrassment.


No one said you did....

quote:
But I certainly can't stand for the debasement of Black men while white boys are celebrated for their "care, concern, reverence and passion."


excuse me???? where is your care, concern reverence and passion in this thread???????

quote:
White boys and white men are fully aware of the disconnect between Black men and women. Not only have they orchastrated the disconnect, they sit back and wait for sisters to fall.

I don't care what them crackers say to you at work, in the street, or in school... it is all GAME. A game employed to exploit you sexually while helping them deal with their feelings of being sexually inadequate to Black men. It is CONQUEST. The same conquest many of you seem to have no problem addressing when you talk about the sexual behaviors of Black men. This nonsense about white boys being considered because they offer you money, gifts, security and safe passage through amerikkkan society is a complete and utter disgrace. So what? They hold open the door and tell you how EXOTIC you are - and you get all confused???? And knowing that some of you ADVANCED sisters sit around and blush at the bullshit is an eye opener to me.

They are the same flithy crackers who dragged you in chains out of Africa, raped you and our babies in the belly of slave ships, and sold our women in europe and the amerikkkas.

Do any of you sistas who are digging white men remember



Sara Baartman?

Do you remember how they cut up her reproductive system and body parts after her death and kept them on display in europe for decades?


Thanks... I agree....

but strangely I don't feel any closer to black men because of the post... somehow after all of that I feel alienated... because of all the negative and accusatory energy behind it...and I fear when a brother in rage explains this .... his reactions alienate more than bring black men and women together....

quote:
Yes, Black women and men have a whole lot of issues to work out. And even though the conflict is painful, I am down to work it out. But where the rubber meets the road, shacking up with white folks and bearing their fruit is certainly not the answer to our immediate needs.

"mmmmmm... vanilla boys"
Shameful.



quote:
that some of you ADVANCED sisters sit around and blush at the bullshit is an eye opener to me.



So, you do what? attack one of the most vocal advocates of the black man on this site...???? because in a moment of pain... she expresses weaknesses... and in her weaknesses expresses her loyalty to black men still? after taking hit after freakin hit from them? that's your goal of unity???


You do this after a long heartfelt post to a sister who has little in the way of positive experiences with black men advocating for the promise of positive relations with Black men?

please...


and even with all of this.... I still don't advocate dating white men... I for some god forsaken reason even I don't understand right now applaud black men...



quote:
Originally posted by Shango67:
get healed (at least try), and hope the next brother is different.


maybe you're right KHARI.... healing is what's needed.... but it is quite clear to me that another brother won't be able to do this....

only pain... seems to come from that direction....


this would make pain #2...

next?



PEACE BROTHER
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quote:
Zakar attacked her decision to protect herself... frankly as a woman there's no excuse for that... none..


Thats a dam lie, when did i say she shouldnt protect herself?? I said she "went to the man" thats all, plus only thing she said was brothers were saying sexual things to her, the only way to address this was go to the police? and what did the police do? But of course the black men have to be monsters?

you attack her insecurity, you could have simply affirmed her identity

would you affirm a black mans identity who said he only dates white or mixed women and he found black women cruel and self centered?? But black women can do no wrong, if they sellout brothers on the job ,its ok , she just trying to make it in the corporate world, if she hates herself , its ok its societies view of black women that make her feel this way, if she only wants white men and find eurocentric culture more appealing, its ok, just reaffirm her identity, what a bunch of bullshyt. Black women can be sellouts just like black men , and i call it how i see it!!
quote:
Because the sister is young... Because the sister was not attacking you... because the sister was just sharing herself with the board... because the sister has not been exposed to an overwhelming lot of positive black male experiences... before she is attacked by one.... attacking her doesn't give comfort to her that a black man is what she needs... it could possibly be feeding the negative experiences she's already had.... you attack her insecurity, you could have simply affirmed her identity..... you attacked her experiences, you could have affirmed her opportunities.... Zakar attacked her decision to protect herself... frankly as a woman there's no excuse for that... none..

I was offended and I acted improperly. Also, I did not know how her age until several posts later. And I couldn't affirm her identity because to do so would have been akin to affirming white supremacy.

She sounded as if she hated Black men, so her subsequent story of being sexually harrassed by five young brothers seemed shady to me. Maybe Zakar was thinking the same thing. I don't beleive he would support the male behavior she outlined - but I can't speak for the brother.
quote:
quote:
Had this been a brother, all types of Black female hell would have broke out.

so be it... that's no excuse to always haul off and go off on someone...

I went off on the continuous air of Black female hypocrisy. Just saying "so be it" is not enough. ADDRESS IT!
quote:
quote:
But I certainly can't stand for the debasement of Black men while white boys are celebrated for their "care, concern, reverence and passion."

excuse me???? where is your care, concern reverence and passion in this thread???????

In my words... read. If you look beneath the anger, you will see the CARE, CONCERN, REVERENCE, and PASSION. You are looking for a spoonful of sugar.

No brother, regardless of who he is, should have to sit around and read the celebration of white men while sisters are tearing him down... on an African website of all places. It is not right on ANY level. Force us to deal with our evils - without telling us that you are intrigued by the way some devil smiles at you in the workplace.
quote:
but strangely I don't feel any closer to black men because of the post... somehow after all of that I feel alienated... because of all the negative and accusatory energy behind it...and I fear when a brother in rage explains this .... his reactions alienate more than bring black men and women together....

In rage??? I was angered - and rightfully so. I am rarely ENRAGED. Maybe you should stop using the terminology white folks reserve for brothers in almost every situation. When we are denied a promotion - the big nigga became "enraged." - when we ask a cop for explanation as to why we were stopped - the nigga became "enraged" - when we have spirited debated with our women about their behavior when in the arena of white men - that brother is "enraged."

Again, I will work on bringing some sweet talk to these kinds of discussions. This way, you will not feel "alienated."
quote:
maybe you're right KHARI.... healing is what's needed.... but it is quite clear to me that another brother won't be able to do this....

only pain... seems to come from that direction....


this would make pain #2...

It should be clear to you that a WHITE BOY will NEVER be different.

What is meant by pain #2?

Brothers can help restore - and to use the advice you once gave me when I was complaining about the lack of positive Black women - you said, "Just dive in." Seems to me, you should follow your own advice.
quote:
Thats a dam lie, when did i say she shouldnt protect herself?? I said she "went to the man" thats all, plus only thing she said was brothers were saying sexual things to her, the only way to address this was go to the police? and what did the police do? But of course the black men have to be monsters?

She went to the people who would definitely take action against the unruly and oppressive mealy-mouthed niggas. And Black women with an axe to grind have always sicked the police on Black men; exaggerated claims, making false accusations, and pressing charges. And while we stand up in court wearing handcuffs for a crime we DID NOT DO, sistas are in the background laughing.

Black women are the NUMBER 1 consumers of police services in domestic situations.
quote:
Originally posted by Shango67:
quote:
Thats a dam lie, when did i say she shouldnt protect herself?? I said she "went to the man" thats all, plus only thing she said was brothers were saying sexual things to her, the only way to address this was go to the police? and what did the police do? But of course the black men have to be monsters?

She went to the people who would definitely take action against the unruly and oppressive mealy-mouthed niggas. And Black women with an axe to grind have always sicked the police on Black men; exaggerated claims, making false accusations, and pressing charges. And while we stand up in court wearing handcuffs for a crime we DID NOT DO, sistas are in the background laughing.

Black women are the NUMBER 1 consumers of police services in domestic situations.


Who else would you have this CHILD go to when she is being sexually harassed??? Fucking disgusting! She absolutely should've gone to the police that time and whatever other times it may happen. As should every single woman being beaten or abused by some "enraged nigga" who is simply engaging in a spirited interaction with a lead pipe and her head. Where do you expect these women to go? You want us to call the operator and ask to be connected to those corny motherfuckers with the red berets whose name escapes me? Call a grass roots organization out in the Bronx somewhere while she is in Queens? During an attack??? Get the fuck out of here with that! LOL! It's so ridiculous it's funny. stck
of where a group of African American teenage guys (typical gangsta wannabes who were known to be rude and one had even gotten into a physical fight with his ex girlfriend) would constantly make sexual remarks towards me and I had told them many times that I didn't appreciate the way they treated me, and finally one day I had took all I could and reported all 5 of them for sexual harassment to our school's police officer

She absolutely should've gone to the police that time and whatever other times it may happen. As should every single woman being beaten or abused by some "enraged nigga" who is simply engaging in a spirited interaction with a lead pipe and her head


where in the hell did she say anything about being physically attacked????, where did she say she felt her life was in dangered or she was threatened?? No fuckin where, she basically was saying ,"how dare you niggas say things like this to me , you know what im gonna get your asses locked up" but its funny how chicks will add on to shyt make it more that what it is , then accuse black men for standing up for rapist and abusive men, what a crock of bullshyt/. the sista basically said she really has nothing in common with black people!!! so go and put more words in people's mouth, to fit your femminist agenda? like i said before a black woman SELLOUT is just as bad as a black man who SELLOUT
quote:
Originally posted by ZAKAR:
she basically was saying ,"how dare you niggas say things like this to me , you know what im gonna get your asses locked up" but its funny how chicks will add on to shyt make it more that what it is

Wow! Zakar, do you ever actually read what you write?

How do you justify putting words in her mouth, saying what "she's basically saying"... and in the same sentence bitch about women doing the same thing?

quote:
the sista basically said she really has nothing in common with black people!!!

No, she didn't "basically" say that either. Stop projecting...

quote:
like i said before a black woman SELLOUT is just as bad as a black man who SELLOUT

And a Black man who's a hypocrite is just as bad as a Black woman who's a hypocrite.

Do you... and get the fuck off this girl's back!
you always seem to come down on the white liberal side of things anyway, where have i been hypocritical, did you read what the sista wrote? if not here it is again

of where a group of African American teenage guys (typical gangsta wannabes who were known to be rude and one had even gotten into a physical fight with his ex girlfriend) would constantly make sexual remarks towards me and I had told them many times that I didn't appreciate the way they treated me, and finally one day I had took all I could and reported all 5 of them for sexual harassment to our school's police officer

where in this statement did she mention anything about being abused, or some brother had a pipe about to hit her in the head? No you didnt address that, you gonna jump on the bandwagon talking about me being hypocritical, what do you think she was talking about? what exactly were the brothes doing to her? Just like in any fucking thing a person reads, they try and get an understand of what the hell the author is talking about, yeah i made and assumption about her motives, and excuse me if im a little suspicious of someone who says she never dated a black guy because she cant relate to them, but she can always seem to relate to white or mixed dudes. Chicks are always getting brothers caught up in the judicial system behind some bullshyt.



Do you... and get the fuck off this girl's back!

i say what the fuck i want to say, just like you dude!

whenever i say something about whites, i can always expect a response from you, so you keep doing what the fuck you doing , and i will do what i do, aight, SEEN!!
quote:
Originally posted by ZAKAR:
where have i been hypocritical,

You being hypocritical when you complain about people "putting words in you mouth", and in the same breath engage in chronic projection in regards to what someone else wrote.

quote:
what exactly were the brothes doing to her?

If you unclear about what sexual harassment is... look it up.

quote:
whenever i say something about whites, i can always expect a response from you, so you keep doing what the fuck you doing , and i will do what i do, aight, SEEN!!

This doesn't have jack-shit to do with Whites. This has to do with a grown man tongue-lashing a 17 year old girl over something that is none of his mutha-fucking business.

I've been very clear on this. I don't care who anyone dates or why. However, I do take issue with grown men tearing down a young girl over something stupid. It's ironic really... Virtue and I are polar opposites on this issue, and yet I had no problem with her response this girl. But, there are some grown men on this thread that obviously have a lot more growing up to do.

And yes, Zakar... you can count on me to call that!
quote:
Originally posted by ZAKAR:
where in the hell did she say anything about being physically attacked????, where did she say she felt her life was in dangered or she was threatened?? No fuckin where, she basically was saying ,"how dare you niggas say things like this to me , you know what im gonna get your asses locked up" but its funny how chicks will add on to shyt make it more that what it is , then accuse black men for standing up for rapist and abusive men, what a crock of bullshyt/. the sista basically said she really has nothing in common with black people!!! so go and put more words in people's mouth, to fit your femminist agenda? like i said before a black woman SELLOUT is just as bad as a black man who SELLOUT


Wha??? I didn't say she was physically attacked. I was responding to Shango's post about domestic violence victims running to the cops. WTF?!

quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:
Seems to me he's coming down on the side of a (very) young black woman who is new to the board ...

I understand your point but cut her some slack bro.


You need to be understanding HER point since you say the same things about having so much in common with white women. Puhleaze! LOL! laugh
quote:
But, there are some grown men on this thread that obviously have a lot more growing up to do.

Listen Black Viking, you bitch ass mut... be grown and holla my name.

I've made my peace with this sista in a private and productive conversation. And I also made some mistakes in HOW I communicated with her.

Nevertheless.... The message is CLEAR...

WHITE MEN ARE NOT AN OPTION and ANY SISTER ON AN AFRICAN BLACK website shouldn't be celebrating white men WHILE tearing down brothers.
quote:
Originally posted by ZAKAR:
Yep. That conclusion would make more sense than the reason being sexual harassment and the condoning of such abuse.

Ya'll have nerve questioning her Blackness because she dates White men while ignoring the ways she's been treated by Black men.

Yeah. I'm sure she's feeling the love from Black men.

Just the connection she was looking for. Objectify her body now and watch her swoon.


what a bunch of bullshyt, she's the one who said she never dated a black guy, thats telling right there. Since some black men said some sexual things to her, we all objectify her? get fucking real, she just doesnt want to admit she has an identiy problem. How else can you explain never dating a black man, or coming up with those bubble gum names for your child. If she is into white men more power to her, but dont come around here talking about how great white men are and how bad black men are, given the savage history between black women and white men


As I understand it, she was adopted by a white couple. She may very well live in a majority white community.

I'm sitting here in the middle of Iowa, and I can tell you that it is not at all unusual for black women here to date white guys, because there just ain't all that many black folks here. It's not about self-hate. You may not like that, but that's just the way that it is here. If you want to change that, you had better convince alot more black folks to move here to Iowa.

She's 17 years old. Do you get that???

She asked these guys many times to stop the harrassment, but they continued. I hope that these 5 guys are not her only exposure to black men (boys, in this case), but I have no way of knowing.

What I do know is that she came here and you represent for her another example of a black man, in this case a grown azz black man, not some immature teenage azzhole from her high school. Why not choose to represent yourself with some semblance of dignity, and not try to immitate the example that she has seen from these 5 jerks that she already knows?

Please, Zaker.

I've seen posts from you where you have claimed a love for black people.

This is the time to show it.
Peace....



quote:
What I do know is that she came here and you represent for her another example of a black man, in this case a grown azz black man, not some immature teenage azzhole from her high school. Why not choose to represent yourself with some semblance of dignity, and not try to immitate the example that she has seen from these 5 jerks that she already knows?

Please, Zaker.

I've seen posts from you where you have claimed a love for black people.

This is the time to show it.



RicardoMath, why are you even talking?

You are white...How in the world do you muster the nerve to tell a black man how he should be black?

You should stay out of this, and remain silent while black people work out their ouwn problems...


Kai
quote:
Originally posted by Saracen:
Peace....

quote:
What I do know is that she came here and you represent for her another example of a black man, in this case a grown azz black man, not some immature teenage azzhole from her high school. Why not choose to represent yourself with some semblance of dignity, and not try to immitate the example that she has seen from these 5 jerks that she already knows?

Please, Zaker.

I've seen posts from you where you have claimed a love for black people.

This is the time to show it.


RicardoMath, why are you even talking?


Well, I suppose that I could claim that as a "vinalla boy", the thread directly involves me, but I supopose that this is a bit besides the point.

lol

quote:
You are white...How in the world do you muster the nerve to tell a black man how he should be black?


Am I telling Zakar how to be a black man? He can be a black man however he wants. As a black man, he can support black women (and girls, for Christ's sake!) if he chooses, or not. I have no control over him. I can only express my preference.

quote:
You should stay out of this, and remain silent while black people work out their ouwn problems..


When I see a young woman (hell, let's get real...she's a child to me...my own daughters are 26 and 17) misstreated by a grown azz man, I object. It is one thing for a few teenage azzholes to behave this way, but for a grown azz man it is inexcusable.

Maybe you don't have children. If you did, you would understand. It's not about being black or white. It's about being a parent of daughters. This sort of thing pisses me off royally.

Just wait until you have daughters. Then reread my posts...
Peace....



quote:
Originally posted by Shango67:
I was offended and I acted improperly. Also, I did not know how her age until several posts later.


I find it telling about your character that you and this sister are working to resolve things behind the scenes.... this brings peace... yes... In all sincerity I applaud you and the sister...


quote:
And I couldn't affirm her identity because to do so would have been akin to affirming white supremacy.


Her identity is a Black woman regardless of her location or experiences... this could have been affirmed...

quote:
She sounded as if she hated Black men, so her subsequent story of being sexually harrassed by five young brothers seemed shady to me. Maybe Zakar was thinking the same thing. I don't beleive he would support the male behavior she outlined - but I can't speak for the brother.


A black woman would warrant some benefit of the doubt if she says this was what her experience was.... I would err on the side of caution... to dismiss a woman's harrassment claims outright would be insensitive...


quote:
In my words... read. If you look beneath the anger, you will see the CARE, CONCERN, REVERENCE, and PASSION. You are looking for a spoonful of sugar.

No brother, regardless of who he is, should have to sit around and read the celebration of white men while sisters are tearing him down... on an African website of all places. It is not right on ANY level. Force us to deal with our evils - without telling us that you are intrigued by the way some devil smiles at you in the workplace.


I am looking for no sugar coating... hence why I say in my post brothers can be harsh and cruel... this is a reality that many women face... so be it

I will speak on my experiences and feelings about them as I see fit... you do not feel you should sit through it? Then go to another thread.... I will share with whomever I wish the reality of my situation....

I will not be dictated to..

If you cannot offer solace.... you cannot offer advice.... you cannot offer hope...

then I suggest you take your own advice and deal with the evil of insensitivity and lack of guidance I'm highlighting...


quote:
In rage??? I was angered - and rightfully so. I am rarely ENRAGED. Maybe you should stop using the terminology white folks reserve for brothers in almost every situation. When we are denied a promotion - the big nigga became "enraged." - when we ask a cop for explanation as to why we were stopped - the nigga became "enraged" - when we have spirited debated with our women about their behavior when in the arena of white men - that brother is "enraged."


I will use the term that I deem fits how I feel you are acting at the time.... if you say you weren't enraged... so be it... I will accept that... I do accept it... now that I know better, but you have to accept that is how you initially came off to me.... and possibly others...

quote:
Again, I will work on bringing some sweet talk to these kinds of discussions. This way, you will not feel "alienated."


I don't need nor want a condescending stroke.... It is quite okay to be yourself.... If you are harsh... you're just a harsh brother... but having a harsh edge does not mean it needs to be applied everywhere.... directed towards a 17 year old girl blossoming into womanhood and identity is clearly not where it should be placed....

though, since you didn't initially know her age.... I will concede this point to you...

If I feel alienated, next time I will simply leave the thread... I do not have to tolerate language that does nothing to further my understanding or rectify understanding between me and another poster....

plus, it's draining...

quote:
It should be clear to you that a WHITE BOY will NEVER be different.


I don't want a white man... I am clear and consistent on this point. It is unfortunate that you read my statement solely through the eyes of a brother attacked....


you misread my post.... it was a vent, a confession and a confirmation all at once

you focused only on the first two parts... I'm a wholistic woman... I can have more than one emotion at a time... and more than one idea held in my mind at a time .... I am a Black woman and a real one... I have moments of pain and frustration with my brothers which can sometimes translate into an unhealthy need for solace and comfort...... and I'm not ashamed to admit I have moments of weakness like this...

though this came about it is a need that I am in complete control of.....


don't worry when working out issues between black men and women I will never be that honest around some men again... I'll save that kind of issue for those that won't take it personal, will read into the entire post and will be motivated and steady enough to offer healing....

quote:
Brothers can help restore - and to use the advice you once gave me when I was complaining about the lack of positive Black women - you said, "Just dive in." Seems to me, you should follow your own advice.



I have already "dived in".... I love only black men... I love only one black man.... My advice springs from my real life decisions.... if Brothers want to help restore... they first must be healthy enough to do so themselves....

it is difficult when two people in pain reach out for one another's help....


when I am weak... I gravitate to those who are emotionally strong.... and are receptive... not accusatory...


Peace,
Khalliqa
quote:
Originally posted by ricardomath:
quote:
Originally posted by virtue/Khalliqa:
@ ricardo....


fanning flames again..

you walk into a heated thread between black people about sensitive black issues

having the nerve...

the nerve!...

to try and give directives to a black man

you don't get to have that....


Do you have daughters her age?

This is bullsh!t.


Shut up.... You are full of BS..

go crawl underneath the gotdamn cave you came from...

you have no place here..... none...

gotdamn cracka
quote:
Originally posted by virtue/Khalliqa:
quote:
Originally posted by ricardomath:
quote:
Originally posted by virtue/Khalliqa:
@ ricardo....


fanning flames again..

you walk into a heated thread between black people about sensitive black issues

having the nerve...

the nerve!...

to try and give directives to a black man

you don't get to have that....


Do you have daughters her age?

This is bullsh!t.


Shut up.... You are full of BS..

go crawl underneath the gotdamn cave you came from...

you have no place here..... none...

gotdamn cracka


Virtue,

You may not like me because I an white...

That's fine with me...

You don't have to like me...

I feel that we are not so far apart on this issue, however...

But I am here....

And until MBM decides otherwise, I will remain here and comment how I see fit...

No offense to you, personally...

But I do have daughters...

hug

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