Skip to main content

quote:
Originally posted by Saracen:
What about a brotha who enjoys a few Lap dances while at the topless bar? You know it is very difficult to leave a strip club without smelling like perfume and sweat...The odor is saturated in your clothing...Oftimes, dancers like to go beyond simply dancing while on a man's lap..Many like to kiss the customers while perfoming the lap dance....


I can't really offer a "typical woman's" point-of-view on this, but I can answer with my own thoughts.

I've never really seen this happen outside of the shady, brothel-like, "jump down" strip clubs in Brooklyn. The lap dance wouldn't bother me, but I would be a little miffed/curious about the kiss. It signifies a lack of typical security for the ladies and boundaries in the club and makes me wonder what else is going on at this bootleg flophouse. These women don't kiss you because they like you or find you cute or want to date you. They don't "like" to go beyond anything other than what is required to make their living. If they are doing things beyond what a typical stripper does, that signifies a dangerous environment IMO. The pimp/boss is either expecting her to perform this way or the customer is a tightwad. I would lose respect for any man contributing to that kind of setup.

quote:
I am sure that a sista would be upset if her man came home smellig like another woman with the lip stick stains on his clothing.


Not sure this would be so much of any issue if your partner knew where you were going ahead of time and was okay with the idea. Otherwise, it's a bit like being pissed you came home from a bar smelling like booze. Now, if you come home smelling like "protein," you should rightly be in the doghouse.

quote:
And by the by....Do women who visit strip clubs pay men for lap dances??


Brotha, where do you get this idea that strippers do anything for free?? LOL!! These men have every right to earn a decent living as well. Big Grin
Peace.....



quote:
I can't really offer a "typical woman's" point-of-view on this, but I can answer with my own thoughts.



Fa sho....


quote:
I've never really seen this happen outside of the shady, brothel-like, "jump down" strip clubs in Brooklyn. The lap dance wouldn't bother me, but I would be a little miffed/curious about the kiss. It signifies a lack of typical security for the ladies and boundaries in the club and makes me wonder what else is going on at this bootleg flophouse. These women don't kiss you because they like you or find you cute or want to date you. They don't "like" to go beyond anything other than what is required to make their living. If they are doing things beyond what a typical stripper does, that signifies a dangerous environment IMO. The pimp/boss is either expecting her to perform this way or the customer is a tightwad. I would lose respect for any man contributing to that kind of setup.


I don't know about this Frenchy. Let's just say that I have been to my fair share of these joints. I have gone to the upscale gentlemen clubs, and to the back alley after hour spots...Belive it or not there is not much difference...Of course my experiences ended quite a few years ago, however, my brotehr worked as a bouncer in one of Detroit's better clubs and according to him, not much has changed.

White dancers tend to work in the upscale bars..White dancers are the ones who push the standard.. dancers do what they do on their own...No one has to pressure them.

My post was really modest in truth..I didn't scratch the surface of what really happens in some of these places...

I have been to bars in Detroit, Chicago, New Jersey, and Windsor Canada...They all are the same..well except the one in Chicago...All I can say is Damn...

Any way...

quote:
Not sure this would be so much of any issue if your partner knew where you were going ahead of time and was okay with the idea. Otherwise, it's a bit like being pissed you came home from a bar smelling like booze. Now, if you come home smelling like "protein," you should rightly be in the doghouse.



I can see your point. But....My question would be how far is she willing to allow her man to go?

I know people who involved themselves in open relationships. If this is the understanding prior to becoming serious then I would expect the partners to be open to the aforementioned behaviour. However, if the aforesaid is not agreed upon beforehand, yet accepted without protest once it occurs, then even if the woman fails to protest because she really doesn't see the behaviour as a violation of the relationship, the man will view her as weak...Most likely he will push to see where her threshold is.

quote:
Brotha, where do you get this idea that strippers do anything for free?? LOL!! These men have every right to earn a decent living as well.


Ain't nothing decent about it...If it was decent the women wouldn't pay. LOL..



Kai
quote:
Originally posted by donna12:
I HAVE NO IDEA TRUTH SEEKER. THAT IS THE FIRST TIME I EVER HEARD OF THAT.


I heard about it my whole life and I thought it was assinine, probably because I was raised in California. After reading this I know it was assinine, and shouldn't have been enforced by the 'fashion police' in Cali...

Dear Yahoo!:
Why aren't you supposed to wear white after Labor Day?
Fletch
San Francisco, California

Dear Fletch:
As with many customs and etiquette dictums, it's difficult to pin down the reason behind the prohibition against white after Labor Day. We searched on variations of "wear white after Labor Day" and sifted through the Etiquette and Fashion categories in the Yahoo! Directory. We managed to turn up a bit of information on the fashion dictate.
Originally, the rule was more along the lines of "Only wear white shoes between Memorial Day and Labor Day." Furthermore, it mainly applied to white pumps or dress shoes. White tennis shoes and off-white boots seem exempt, as are any shoes worn by a winter bride. "Winter white" clothing (e.g., cream-colored wool) is acceptable between Labor Day and Memorial Day too.

The only logical reasoning we could find cited temperature. Image consultant Nancy Penn suggests that because white reflects light and heat, wearing white would make you cooler in winter, and thus should be avoided. But others suggest the rule stems from a class issue. Acting Director of the Museum at the Fashion Institute of Technology Valerie Steele notes that in the late 19th century and the 1950s, more people were entering the middle classes. These nouveau-riche folks were often unaware of the standards of high society, so they were given specific codified rules to follow in order to fit in.

Several sites quoted a charming refrain about G.R.I.T.S. -- girls raised in the South. This bit of folklore states, "Southern girls know bad manners when they see them," and a clear sign of bad manners is wearing white shoes before Easter or after Labor Day. Because fashions in the American South can be a little more formal than elsewhere, perhaps the no-white-shoes rule came from south of the Mason-Dixon Line? Even Star Jones (an otherwise fashion-forward Southern lady) admits that white shoes "are for Easter Sunday and not the dead of winter."

We can only surmise that the point of this rule is to ensure that people only wear summer fashions during the actual summer months. The opposite probably applies as well, but people generally don't need to be reminded to avoid wearing a goose-down parka in 100-degree weather. If you live in a locale with summer temperatures year-round, we can't see the harm in wearing white shoes or a head-to-toe white outfit in October. And we promise not to tell Miss Manners.

http://ask.yahoo.com/20020913.html

On another note I can't stand male strippers, they all look gay and I think they are gross. I've never been to a male strip club and have only seen them at bachelorette parties, and that was enough for me.

Ive been lucky, I haven't dated men that like to hang out at strip clubs.
Last edited {1}
quote:
Originally posted by ma'am:
My qualm with male strippers is that they all look relatively the same.

Men don't have to all look Hulkish to be sexy.

A variety of different builds would be a lot better, IMNSHO.


True,

I just don't think a man with no clothes on, shaking his money maker for a bunch of strangers, and proudly objectifying himself is a turn on. I find it demasculating. I like a man with enough pride that he will only 'shake it' in the privacy and intimacy of a relationship to give me a good laugh every now and then. A man who would die of embarrasment if I told anyone he did such a thing.

Not knocking anyone elses preferences, that's just mine.
Last edited {1}
quote:
Originally posted by Oshun Auset:
Ive been lucky, I haven't dated men that like to hang out at strip clubs.


This must be a sad bunch ... strip clubs are soooo depressing ... so cynical ... a cycle of exploitation ... men exploiting women and women exploiting men ... what little there is of sexual excitement is ruined by the tawdriness of it all ...
quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:
quote:
Originally posted by Oshun Auset:
Ive been lucky, I haven't dated men that like to hang out at strip clubs.


This must be a sad bunch ... strip clubs are soooo depressing ... so cynical ... a cycle of exploitation ... men exploiting women and women exploiting men ... what little there is of sexual excitement is ruined by the tawdriness of it all ...


bs

You didn't have to go overboard with the sarcasm HB.
quote:
Originally posted by Oshun Auset:
quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:
quote:
Originally posted by Oshun Auset:
Ive been lucky, I haven't dated men that like to hang out at strip clubs.


This must be a sad bunch ... strip clubs are soooo depressing ... so cynical ... a cycle of exploitation ... men exploiting women and women exploiting men ... what little there is of sexual excitement is ruined by the tawdriness of it all ...


bs

You didn't have to go overboard with the sarcasm HB.



I wasn't being sarcastic ... that really is my opinion of strip clubs ... I find them to be terribly depressing places... which is why I haven't been to one in years...

I'm not saying I don't like to see naked women .. because I do ... but I find strip joints to be depressingly exploitive.
quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:
quote:
Originally posted by Oshun Auset:
quote:
Originally posted by HonestBrother:
quote:
Originally posted by Oshun Auset:
Ive been lucky, I haven't dated men that like to hang out at strip clubs.


This must be a sad bunch ... strip clubs are soooo depressing ... so cynical ... a cycle of exploitation ... men exploiting women and women exploiting men ... what little there is of sexual excitement is ruined by the tawdriness of it all ...


bs

You didn't have to go overboard with the sarcasm HB.



I wasn't being sarcastic ... that really is my opinion of strip clubs ... I find them to be terribly depressing places... which is why I haven't been to one in years...

I'm not saying I don't like to see naked women .. because I do ... but I find strip joints to be depressingly exploitive.


My bad, then you share the opinion of the men I have dated in the past. They had similar feelings about strip clubs and strippers/stripping in general. The openning "This must be a sad bunch" threw me off. I thought you were speaking about the men I've dated.
quote:
Originally posted by Oshun Auset:
quote:
Originally posted by ma'am:
My qualm with male strippers is that they all look relatively the same.

Men don't have to all look Hulkish to be sexy.

A variety of different builds would be a lot better, IMNSHO.



True,

I just don't think a man with no clothes on, shaking his money maker for a bunch of strangers, and proudly objectifying himself is a turn on. I find it demasculating. I like a man with enough pride that he will only 'shake it' in the privacy and intimacy of a relationship to give me a good laugh every now and then. A man who would die of embarrasment if I told anyone he did such a thing.

Not knocking anyone elses preferences, that's just mine.


appl I agree, wholeheartedly.
My only problem with strip clubs is that nasty-ass perfume that all the dancers seem to wear in a effort to cover up that nasty-ass funk coming off their sweaty asses. Did they all shop at the same grocery store? Didn't anyone ever tell them funk+perfume=FUNK.

But seriously, you are right about the depressing, desparate vibe of both the dancers and the clientele.
I had to really think about this one, because actually there's several variables to this question which would determine the correct answer for me. Smile

However, my "nutshell" answer would be, it's really dependent upon the mindset of, well, both individuals involved, but particularly hers.

If what you're asking about is a "booty call" vs. a "boyfriend" type situation then (1) more than likely she's just not looking for a committed relationship at the time; or (2) you're just good in bed and ... er ... she likes that!

If you're referring to a "man on the side" type situation, then the "boyfriend" probably has a little more vested time or perhaps is more stable or just more special in some way than the "kick it" guy.

I can't speak for all women, but, I wouldn't give my body up to a man that couldn't/wouldn't/shouldn't be boyfriend material. But, whether or not that's the kind of relationship that works for us at the time is another matter.

If that doesn't answer your question, I'll try again. Smile
quote:
Originally posted by EbonyRose:
...my "nutshell" answer would be, it's really dependent upon the mindset of, well, both individuals involved, but particularly hers.

If what you're asking about is a "booty call" vs. a "boyfriend" type situation then (1) more than likely she's just not looking for a committed relationship at the time; or (2) you're just good in bed and ... er ... she likes that!


But how does she know he's good before they have sex?

I suspect that women's decision in this regard is driven by the kind of guy, rather than the "time in her life." I believe that at the time in her life a certain guy comes along who makes her feel a certain way, she'll act accordingly. Are you saying you don't think that's true?
quote:
Originally posted by Vox:
But how does she know he's good before they have sex?

I suspect that women's decision in this regard is driven by the kind of guy, rather than the "time in her life." I believe that at the time in her life a certain guy comes along who makes her feel a certain way, she'll act accordingly. Are you saying you don't think that's true?


Well, yes, that's true. But, we're talking two different things here. He already has to be something special to make it past the friend stage. The fact that he's "the right kind of guy" is what gets him into the door toward having any kind of chance to be either the boyfriend or the friend w/benefits. So if you're asking what determines sex in the first place, that's different than whether or not you share him with friends and family. Smile

Now, if you're asking what role he plays after he makes friend w/benefits, and what determines boyfriend or no, it's really a matter of what she wants at the time, and where he's at, what he's doing ... what he might be better suited for Wink... that kinda thing.
Last edited {1}
I agree with the sista...I would not be giving up my body to someone who I am not serious about. Some people like the booty call...and that's all about them. But some of us would not consider it.

A Manfriend (not boyfriend if he calls himself a man) is someone who I can take around my family; someone I can take around my friends and expect him to behave himself; someone I can take around my co-workers and/or business associates; someone I make short and long term plans with. A ManFriend is someone who will want to be more than a ManFriend eventually...it is someone who wants to build with me and does not see committing to me as a shackle, but as a blessing.
....and yes he will wait for sex if I'm that important to him...I am more than my coochie.

Women make that sacrifice too, when they are not having sex before committing. She has to trust what she gets just like he does and if she really loves him and he her, sex will come as natural to them as drinking water....

Just my two cents you can take to the bank!

Add Reply

Post
×
×
×
×
Link copied to your clipboard.
×