Wow!  I have a question.  Why do men use the measuring stick to convince themselves that it isn't the sex that's causing their wives to cheat?  Why is that?  Cuz that's the first thing dude said. Her cheating wasn't because he had a small jones.  What?  GTFOH!!!!  This is testimony that some men don't get it.  And I couldn't tell the age of these men but surely it appears they didn't take the current divorce rate seriously.  Plus it's new kind of dynamics in marriages these days..almost guaranteeing divorce down the line.  

 

I'm just gonna say little on this and then leave it alone.  Some men don't get that is NOT about the sex that inspires most women to cheat.  It may be about the sex for men...but!  Not to a lotta women.  And I guess what saves the story is that both women were not mothers.....so there is an untouched psychological component that caused them to cheat.  It could be for excitement,,,and may be "sex" was the payment to the guys for that exchange.  Or it could be the need to feel still wanted and adored by men other than the husbands.  I too found the post interesting and hopefully this guy will find a love that he can truly communicate with to avoid another heartbreak.  Cuz communication is the key.  It really is.  But!   

 

Originally Posted by Kocolicious:

  Wow!  I have a question.  Why do men use the measuring stick to convince themselves that it isn't the sex that's causing their wives to cheat?  Why is that?  Cuz that's the first thing dude said. Her cheating wasn't because he had a small jones.  What?  GTFOH!!!!  This is testimony that some men don't get it.  And I couldn't tell the age of these men but surely it appears they didn't take the current divorce rate seriously.  Plus it's new kind of dynamics in marriages these days..almost guaranteeing divorce down the line.  

 

Many men are sensitive to that which is why enlargement industry is a multi-billion dollar business of pills, pharmacy, exercises and devices. Some men are not happy with 8"s, looking for 10".

 

I'm just gonna say little on this and then leave it alone.  Some men don't get that is NOT about the sex that inspires most women to cheat.  It may be about the sex for men...but!  Not to a lotta women.  And I guess what saves the story is that both women were not mothers.....so there is an untouched psychological component that caused them to cheat.  It could be for excitement,,,and may be "sex" was the payment to the guys for that exchange.  Or it could be the need to feel still wanted and adored by men other than the husbands.  I too found the post interesting and hopefully this guy will find a love that he can truly communicate with to avoid another heartbreak.  Cuz communication is the key.  It really is.  But!   

 

I think when people of both sexes are able to get passed their inhibitions. sex becomes more like a pleasurable sport and allows them to play all the different styles, it becomes a sport of obsession.

 

What constitutes integrity of a union can be defined that includes the sport of sex with different players but for many its out of the question. Open unions work for some couples and I don't look down my nose at those who have them. My aunt and uncle that passed away decades ago had such an union and they attended church every Sunday were a happy and cheerful couple but I have to say back during the 60's and 70's it was very taboo. Them 2 was my favorite uncle and aunt because they were so full of life and joy, they were each other's best friend and supported each other's carnal desires. My family did not judge either one of them and both was respectfully loved. Interesting enough, their union did not deliver any children.

 

 

Brotha Momentum wrote:  

 

I think when people of both sexes are able to get passed their inhibitions. sex becomes more like a pleasurable sport and allows them to play all the different styles, it becomes a sport of obsession.

 

  I agree....but!  They have to have that talk.  They have to come to the meeting of the minds where both parties are clear regarding expectations.  However in this case, I think immaturity played a big part cuz there must be a reason WHY she cheated.  He never said why.  Did he even ask her?  As why I said communicate is the key.  Cuz looking through her phone is not communication...it is invasion of privacy.  So.  I still they may have dropped the ball during the early part of their marriage where they didn't discuss their expectations of each other.  As I feel "real" communication [don't be scared to express yourself early on]...can reduce the rate of divorce.  Folks just need to talk to each other.  Put down that cell phone....that evil evil thing.....minimize computer use and just look each other in the eyes and TALK.  Put everything on the table.  But many don't as in this couple's story.     

 

 That constitutes integrity of a union can be defined that includes the sport of sex with different players but for many its out of the question.

 

Yup!  That's so true.  You have to have a strong relationship for that.  And many women won't go for like a lotta men would.  I think it's the intimacy that many women feel is broken when you have outside parties in your bed.  It a sacred thing for some women.

 

Open unions work for some couples and I don't look down my nose at those who have them. My aunt and uncle that passed away decades ago had such an union and they attended church every Sunday were a happy and cheerful couple but I have to say back during the 60's and 70's it was very taboo. Them 2 was my favorite uncle and aunt because they were so full of life and joy, they were each other's best friend and supported each other's carnal desires. My family did not judge either one of them and both was respectfully loved. Interesting enough, their union did not deliver any children.

 

Now they sound like a STRONG couple who understood and accepted the expectations of each other.  That's old school.  Cuz some times a married couple can agree on something initialy....and in the middle of it one of 'em changes their minds and throw the other off.  And then it becomes a mess.  So from the little you shared about your aunt and uncle I can tell that they also had a open communication platform....where they could tell each other ANYTHING and still be supported by the other.  Now that's a "classic" marriage right there.  But!

 

 

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