Sorry, sorry. I don't want to start any controversy, but I came accross this forum, online, and I think some of the people were right on point.

The site was talking about black women hating black men and Interracial dating.The funny thing was that the most common sense came from 2 white chicks!(Kelli_girl, and Suz)

read:

http://www.whitewomenblackmen.com/forum/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=1739&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0
Original Post
I really relate to soulgroove's view, that White males never have to explain why many of them were dating/marrying Asian women.

Either that guy who was bitter over the sisters, must've been hurt really bad from an ex, or he watched way too many episodes of "Girlfriends."
quote:
Either that guy who was bitter over the sisters, must've been hurt really bad from an ex, or he watched way too many episodes of "Girlfriends."


I agree, but the thing is a lot of black men bring this on themselves.Some black men always have to justify their relationships by degrading black women or comparing them to white/non-black women. How many times have you heard the following:

1.black women are loud, bitchy,have attitudes, and are unsupportive.

2. black women are sexually stagnant

3. black women are not attractive

4."Most" black women have kids

It's very patheric, and it reminds me of people who always talk about their ex's to their new girlfriends/boyfriends. If more black men(and black women for that matter) would stop justifying their interracial relationships by degrading their own people,I think that many black women/black men would not care as much.

Of course you have black women and black men who do not like it at all.
quote:
Originally posted by Sweetwuzzy:
quote:
Either that guy who was bitter over the sisters, must've been hurt really bad from an ex, or he watched way too many episodes of "Girlfriends."


I agree, but the thing is a lot of black men bring this on themselves.Some black men always have to justify their relationships by degrading black women or comparing them to white/non-black women. How many times have you heard the following:

1.black women are loud, bitchy,have attitudes, and are unsupportive.

2. black women are sexually stagnant

3. black women are not attractive

4."Most" black women have kids

It's very patheric, and it reminds me of people who always talk about their ex's to their new girlfriends/boyfriends. If more black men(and black women for that matter) would stop justifying their interracial relationships by degrading their own people,I think that many black women/black men would not care as much.

Of course you have black women and black men who do not like it at all.


Sometimes when I see a beautiful white or non-black woman, I overanalyze my own thinking (saying "do I like her because I think she's cute, or do I like her because society has conditioned me to like her?"). In case I'm attracted to her, I want to like her for the right reason.

Anyway, since there are many times when black men bring this bitterness on themselves, there are also some times when black women bring it on themselves too.

For example, when a black man does date a white or non-black woman of color (regardless of his reason), one sista would might say "do you love your mother/sister/grandmother/aunt? When you diss me you're dissing your mother/grandmother/aunt..."

Sometimes you just want to say to the woman:

"Look I'm not dissing my mom, I'm dissing you. What does my mother, grandmother, aunt have to do with this? I love my mother, sister, grandmother, and aunts...but I don't want to DATE them!"

If a woman tells a man "I'd rather see you date your mama than a woman of a different race," she's gonna be lonely for long time. That's a deranged, crazy thing to say to a guy.
quote:
Originally posted by Huey:
quote:
Originally posted by Sweetwuzzy:
quote:
Either that guy who was bitter over the sisters, must've been hurt really bad from an ex, or he watched way too many episodes of "Girlfriends."


I agree, but the thing is a lot of black men bring this on themselves.Some black men always have to justify their relationships by degrading black women or comparing them to white/non-black women. How many times have you heard the following:

1.black women are loud, bitchy,have attitudes, and are unsupportive.

2. black women are sexually stagnant

3. black women are not attractive

4."Most" black women have kids

It's very patheric, and it reminds me of people who always talk about their ex's to their new girlfriends/boyfriends. If more black men(and black women for that matter) would stop justifying their interracial relationships by degrading their own people,I think that many black women/black men would not care as much.

Of course you have black women and black men who do not like it at all.


Sometimes when I see a beautiful white or non-black woman, I overanalyze my own thinking (saying "do I like her because I think she's cute, or do I like her because society has conditioned me to like her?"). In case I'm attracted to her, I want to like her for the right reason.

Anyway, since there are many times when black men bring this bitterness on themselves, there are also some times when black women bring it on themselves too.

For example, when a black man does date a white or non-black woman of color (regardless of his reason), one sista would might say "do you love your mother/sister/grandmother/aunt? When you diss me you're dissing your mother/grandmother/aunt..."

Sometimes you just want to say to the woman:

"Look I'm not dissing my mom, I'm dissing you. What does my mother, grandmother, aunt have to do with this? I love my mother, sister, grandmother, and aunts...but I don't want to DATE them!"

If a woman tells a man "I'd rather see you date your mama than a woman of a different race," she's gonna be lonely for long time. That's a deranged, crazy thing to say to a guy.


I agree. I was only talking about black men who feel they need to degrade black women to justify their relationships. I also noted in parantheses that black women do it too. Of course some black women always assume that black men enter interracial relationships for self-hating reasons...
I believe the generally used "He's been hurt by a sista" explanation does not apply to this individual. Clearly, this person's pain and frustration is the result of being hurt by more than just a single individual. This person's pain is the result of being devalued, ostracized, and underestimated by an entire social system. All throughout his post, I read anger for being negatively represented in the media, anger on behalf of black men for not being able to adequately provide for their women and families, anger as well as shame for being a global embarressment, and disappointment from feeling as if black women have completely abandoned him. Rather than feeling supported and loved, he feels black women lack empathy for black men. More importantly, he believes black women should exercise more understanding and patience in their relationships with black men, rather than viewing them as "good for nothings."

The problem is this individual fails to acknowledge that ever since black women have been bought to this country, against their will, they have supported black men, raised their children, put up with alot of bullshit that probably no other woman on this planet would accept, and they continue to do so even during black men's familal absence. In fact, when it comes to relationships, some would argue that black women have developed the lowest standards and expectations of their men because, for years, black women have understood that if you're going to be in a relationship with a black man you can only expect but so much in terms of financial and social status. People are fully aware that black people in general have transgenerational issues that run long and deep! So, as another poster stated, rather than aim his frustrations at black women, he needs to target those that have brought us to this lowly position in the first place. Finally, there's a term that is used by psychologists to describe this guy's actions and its called displacement. Displacement occurs when we blame those who are close to us, or more specifically, those who remind us of our shortcomings rather than confronting the source of our problems head on (e.g., "I can't confront the white man and his institutional racism so I'll just blame sistah's for expecting what any woman should expect from a father and husband").

FYI Brothas!!!!: We're not the enemy and we won't serve as your scapegoat. Confront the enemey and get at the source of BOTH our problems.
FYI, Rowe. Many brothas have and still do confront the enemy for the cause of our problems. The problem is that the enemy will not accept the cause and usually replies with many of us end up behind bars, shot down or OD'd, if not hanging from the Klansman's Necktie.

Speaking for myself, I'm not blaming anyone for my own problems. They're my alone to solve. But I do believe that many black men and women are both tired of being the scapegoat of each other's dilemnas, as well as being the scapegoat/guinea pig/measuring stick of mainstream America's and the West's social decay.
quote:
Originally posted by Huey:
FYI, Rowe. Many brothas have and still do confront the enemy for the cause of our problems. The problem is that the enemy will not accept the cause and usually replies with many of us end up behind bars, shot down or OD'd, if not hanging from the Klansman's Necktie.


Who Needs A Black Man?

And while all of this is taking place, should black women be without fathers for their children? Never mind a man with an expensive car and rims, what about reliable and dependendable prospective husbands? Should we accept mistreatment as women because you're being mistreated as men? These are the questions that I would ask the poster 'Diamondlife' if he were a member of this forum. He paints a picture of black women as if we're a bunch of superficial women with insanely unrealistic expectations and needs when most of the time all that we want from you is your time and interest in us and the family!From a woman's perspective, I don't blame black women for considering interracial options. They see white women with husbands who are loving with their children, taking the children to musuems and parks, showing his kids off to his friends, has stable employment. I ask you, what woman would not want that??? What woman in her right mind would choose something different? And when we do take a huge risk and choose a 'Tyrone' (desiring to give him the benefit of the doubt), who is the first person to get chastised for selecting a loser? Another problem is that some black men perhaps resent black women who are not struggling. Black women have mothers to supportively usher them into womanhood, to encourage them to go to college, and to make something of themselves. Black men, on the other hand, are missing this important developmental ingredient in their relationships with parents. They have no fathers to groom them and usher them properly into manhood. Consequently, they grow up being so much worse off than the women that they can hardly keep up! Some may subconsciously resent black women for this, for advancing past them in so many areas of achievement (academic, social, and financial achievement). More importantly, they resent black women for being largely accepted by the white majority population, while they, black men, remain obstracized and alienated.
I agree with what you've said. I know that black men are usually obstracized and alienated unless they're athletes, rappers, entertainers or soldiers. The thing is that those few black men who are doctors, teachers, lawyers who aren't in any gang or anything negative should be respected by the black community, or else nothing changes.
But getting back to the topic, is it more acceptable for black men IR dating if their partners were non-black women of color (i.e. Latina, Asian [Far East-Japan, China, Phillpines, Korea], South Asian [India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka], multiracial women or very dark, brunette ethnically passing white females?
I can't speak for anyone else, but it makes little difference to me whether or not black men dates/marries outside of their race. However, any black person (male or female) who dates outside of their race as way to avoid and/or ignore the socio-political problems confonting black people is not only doing themselves a disservice but also the person they are dating. I definitely would not want someone to show interest in me simply because of my racial identity.
quote:
Originally posted by Rowe:
I can't speak for anyone else, but it makes little difference to me whether or not black men dates/marries outside of their race. However, any black person (male or female) who dates outside of their race as way to avoid and/or ignore the socio-political problems confonting black people is not only doing themselves a disservice but also the person they are dating. I definitely would not want someone to show interest in me simply because of my racial identity.


I agree
quote:
Originally posted by Huey:
But getting back to the topic, is it more acceptable for black men IR dating if their partners were non-black women of color (i.e. Latina, Asian [Far East-Japan, China, Phillpines, Korea], South Asian [India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka], multiracial women or very dark, brunette ethnically passing white females?


Of course. But I do not think asians are to fond of blacks dating their people.
"It's the question that drives us" Trinity, "The Matrix"

Hmm, I find it interesting the quote is from the Matrix. Written by a Black Woman who had to go to court to get her recognition.

excerpt:
Sophia Stewart, African American author of The Matrix will finally receive her just due from the copyright infringement of her original work!!!

Monday, October 4th 2004 ended a six-year dispute involving Sophia Stewart, the Wachowski Brothers, Joel Silver and Warner Brothers. Stewart's allegations, involving copyright infringement and racketeering, were received and acknowledged by the Central District of California, Judge Margaret Morrow residing.

Stewart, a New Yorker who has resided in Salt Lake City for the past five years, will recover damages from the films, The Matrix I, II and III, as well as The Terminator and its sequels. She will soon receive one of the biggest payoffs in the history of Hollywood, as the gross receipts of both films and their sequels total over 2.5 billion dollars.

Add Reply

Likes (0)
Post
×
×
×
×