Are there any things that a person would have to be a woman to really understand?
Regardless of how much explanation given or how openminded the man is - he just would have to be female to get it?
Original Post
Replies sorted oldest to newest
PMS- The acrynom makes it sound trite, but it's really unpleasant. 
Menopause - Women can experience horrific symptoms, which again are trivialized and mocked.
Bad hair days for white and other women, do not even compare on as grand a scale as that of black women. I have no words.
The treatment one can experience as a black woman , by men of any/all race groups of men, because of the following perceptions: 'whoreishness', (sidestory) one year I was living in Ls Angeles and it was during the Academy Awards, I lived on Beverly Boulevard and the traffic was horrific, due to the limousines and such on route to the Dorothy Chandlier Pavillion. None of the cars would slow down enough for me to cross the street, and the ones that did, had the riders, stepping through the sunroof/or rolling down the windowos to ask me....how much? What? How much for what? I worked at the LA Times in customer service/was part time student, going home,and was no way dressed, cough-provocatively-cough. I was horrified that I was presumed as a prostitute, and made matters worse by cursing all of those inquiring minds. This was based on,I'm sure my race and gender.(end of side story).
Walking into a class on the first day of school and having 3-4 black male students, go, 'aw hell no', and them walk out. Why?
As a (Black) woman I believe that others will not understand those situations.
Menopause - Women can experience horrific symptoms, which again are trivialized and mocked.
Bad hair days for white and other women, do not even compare on as grand a scale as that of black women. I have no words.
The treatment one can experience as a black woman , by men of any/all race groups of men, because of the following perceptions: 'whoreishness', (sidestory) one year I was living in Ls Angeles and it was during the Academy Awards, I lived on Beverly Boulevard and the traffic was horrific, due to the limousines and such on route to the Dorothy Chandlier Pavillion. None of the cars would slow down enough for me to cross the street, and the ones that did, had the riders, stepping through the sunroof/or rolling down the windowos to ask me....how much? What? How much for what? I worked at the LA Times in customer service/was part time student, going home,and was no way dressed, cough-provocatively-cough. I was horrified that I was presumed as a prostitute, and made matters worse by cursing all of those inquiring minds. This was based on,I'm sure my race and gender.(end of side story).
Walking into a class on the first day of school and having 3-4 black male students, go, 'aw hell no', and them walk out. Why?
As a (Black) woman I believe that others will not understand those situations.
The impact of the indoctrination of the superwoman myth.
Definitely.
quote:Originally posted by nayo:
The treatment one can experience as a black woman , by men of any/all race groups of men, because of the following perceptions: 'whoreishness', (sidestory) one year I was living in Ls Angeles and it was during the Academy Awards, I lived on Beverly Boulevard and the traffic was horrific, due to the limousines and such on route to the Dorothy Chandlier Pavillion. None of the cars would slow down enough for me to cross the street, and the ones that did, had the riders, stepping through the sunroof/or rolling down the windowos to ask me....how much? What? How much for what? I worked at the LA Times in customer service/was part time student, going home,and was no way dressed, cough-provocatively-cough. I was horrified that I was presumed as a prostitute, and made matters worse by cursing all of those inquiring minds. This was based on,I'm sure my race and gender.(end of side story).
Definitely.
quote:Originally posted by ma'am:
The impact of the indoctrination of the superwoman myth.quote:Originally posted by nayo:
The treatment one can experience as a black woman , by men of any/all race groups of men, because of the following perceptions: 'whoreishness', (sidestory) one year I was living in Ls Angeles and it was during the Academy Awards, I lived on Beverly Boulevard and the traffic was horrific, due to the limousines and such on route to the Dorothy Chandlier Pavillion. None of the cars would slow down enough for me to cross the street, and the ones that did, had the riders, stepping through the sunroof/or rolling down the windowos to ask me....how much? What? How much for what? I worked at the LA Times in customer service/was part time student, going home,and was no way dressed, cough-provocatively-cough. I was horrified that I was presumed as a prostitute, and made matters worse by cursing all of those inquiring minds. This was based on,I'm sure my race and gender.(end of side story).
Definitely.
Wow Nayo, I am sorry that stuff like that would happen to you. I read your post the thread called "Did I take this too far", I am very sorry about that happening too
This world can be such a cold place at times.I understand what you mean about Black women being perceived as a whores & promiscuous women. Stuff like that used to happen to me when I took night classes at my college. On my way home (around 10PM), I had to walk through an area called Queens Plaza (which I thought was safer than walking through the side streets) and random guys would stop me thinking I was a prostitute -- asking me if I wanted to make some money. I was horrified also and felt that I couldn't win -- had I walked home via the side streets avoiding Queens Plaza, men would have thought I was a prostitute for sure so I chose to walk through the plaza and the same things would happen. I think these assumptions were also based on my race and gender as well. My college isnt by any buses or trains that go near my house so my only options would be to walk there and back or take an over priced cab ride. Now I am working nights but luckily my job isnt anywhere near my school and I do not have to walk through the plaza anymore!
I think you have to be Black and female to really understand the duelling definitions of femininity. Our femininity.
We are walking oxymorons.
On one hand we're expected to be weak, fragile, and protected. On the other we are supposed to be strong, hardy protectors.
We are walking oxymorons.
On one hand we're expected to be weak, fragile, and protected. On the other we are supposed to be strong, hardy protectors.
Ma'am I would have to agree with your statement, it was well put.
quote:Walking into a class on the first day of school and having 3-4 black male students, go, 'aw hell no', and them walk out. Why?
nayo, what did they mean by "aw hell no".... sorry for being slow, but would you explain that?
----------------
for me it's having ppl not understand the low self esteem that a lot of black women may have since our beauty is often overlooked for something more "eurocentric" or "un-ethnic" looking leaving many of us disliking ourselves kinda like I used to have when I was a little younger b4 i realized i was alladat....and that's another thing...not a lot ppl will understand that we have to end up discovering we are actually beautiful b/c not many of us had a lot of help learning that.
quote:Originally posted by caribbeanflavored:quote:Walking into a class on the first day of school and having 3-4 black male students, go, 'aw hell no', and them walk out. Why?
nayo, what did they mean by "aw hell no".... sorry for being slow, but would you explain that?
I hate to presume to speak on Nayo's behalf... but I believe she teaches at the college level... I think what she's saying is that on the first day of class, she walked into the room - as the professor - and 4 (meatheaded) brothas walked out on her saying "Ah hell no" as they left - challenging both her authority and competence.
A colleague of mine once shared a similar story. Except this time the problem student was a white male who stopped coming to class midway through the semester. The guy approached her a year later and begged for her forgiveness. He confessed that he left her class because he couldn't bring himself to accept the authority of a black female.
I've had situations arise too. A white male student once openly asked me (in front of the whole class) if I was the affirmative action hire. But nothing so blatant as what the sistas experience.
Sorry, Nayo, if I'm in left field.... but I truly sympathize
quote:Originally posted by HonestBrother:quote:Originally posted by caribbeanflavored:quote:Walking into a class on the first day of school and having 3-4 black male students, go, 'aw hell no', and them walk out. Why?
nayo, what did they mean by "aw hell no".... sorry for being slow, but would you explain that?
I hate to presume to speak on Nayo's behalf... but I believe she teaches at the college level... I think what she's saying is that on thefirst day of class, she walked into the room - as the professor - and 4 (meatheaded) brothas walked out on her saying "Ah hell no" as they left - challenging both her authority and competence.
A colleague of mine once shared a similar story. Except this time the problem student was a white male who stopped coming to class midway through the semester. The guy approached her a year later and begged for her forgiveness. He confessed that he left her class because he couldn't bring himself to accept the authority of a black female.
Similar things have happened to me. A white male student once openly asked me (in front of the whole class) if I was the affirmative action hire.
YOU SHOULDA SLAPPED HIM HOWEVER UNPROFESSIONAL THAT WOULD'VE SEEMED.
Sorry, Nayo, if I'm in left field.... but I truly sympathize
THANKS HB BUT THAT IS SOOO MESSED UP. DAMN, IF WE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT MUCH RESPECT IN FRONT OF A CLASSROOM OF BRATTY KIDS THEN.....
quote:Originally posted by caribbeanflavored:
for me it's having ppl not understand the low self esteem that a lot of black women may have since our beauty is often overlooked for something more "eurocentric" or "un-ethnic" looking leaving many of us disliking ourselves kinda like I used to have when I was a little younger b4 i realized i was alladat...
My young sista, I'm glad you made this discovery so early on
quote:Originally posted by caribbeanflavored:
for me it's having ppl not understand the low self esteem that a lot of black women may have since our beauty is often overlooked for something more "eurocentric" or "un-ethnic" looking leaving many of us disliking ourselves kinda like I used to have when I was a little younger b4 i realized i was alladat....and that's another thing...not a lot ppl will understand that we have to end up discovering we are actually beautiful b/c not many of us had a lot of help learning that.
Sis, you take the right out of my mouth and mind. I agree with that so much that it's amazing. I think we have another thing in common.
quote:Originally posted by tru2urself16:quote:Originally posted by caribbeanflavored:
for me it's having ppl not understand the low self esteem that a lot of black women may have since our beauty is often overlooked for something more "eurocentric" or "un-ethnic" looking leaving many of us disliking ourselves kinda like I used to have when I was a little younger b4 i realized i was alladat....and that's another thing...not a lot ppl will understand that we have to end up discovering we are actually beautiful b/c not many of us had a lot of help learning that.
Sis, you take the right out of my mouth and mind. I agree with that so much that it's amazing. I think we have another thing in common.
MY SISTER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER.......AND FATHER
quote:Originally posted by HonestBrother:quote:Originally posted by caribbeanflavored:
for me it's having ppl not understand the low self esteem that a lot of black women may have since our beauty is often overlooked for something more "eurocentric" or "un-ethnic" looking leaving many of us disliking ourselves kinda like I used to have when I was a little younger b4 i realized i was alladat...
My young sista, I'm glad you made this discovery so early on
YEAH... I'M GLAD TOO.
quote:I think you have to be Black and female to really understand the duelling definitions of femininity. Our femininity.
We are walking oxymorons.
On one hand we're expected to be weak, fragile, and protected. On the other we are supposed to be strong, hardy protectors.
Yes, I couldn't agree more. It's a fine line to walk sometimes.
ok... changing track a little... I just wanted to add that a 'woman thing' is setting up the house and cooking in the kitchen and waiting for 'him' to arrive home. Flowers on the table, the pots bubbling, the spices sizzling... best sheets on the bed... smiling, waiting with excitement to give him a hug, serve a heart-filling meal, sit and talk over a glass of wine... good music on the stereo.... it's a real buzz being a woman waiting for her man to swing open the door with a smile and a greeting and of course a.... 
.
.
quote:Originally posted by art_gurl:
ok... changing track a little... I just wanted to add that a 'woman thing' is setting up the house and cooking in the kitchen and waiting for 'him' to arrive home. Flowers on the table, the pots bubbling, the spices sizzling... best sheets on the bed... smiling, waiting with excitement to give him a hug, serve a heart-filling meal, sit and talk over a glass of wine... good music on the stereo.... it's a real buzz being a woman waiting for her man to swing open the door with a smile and a greeting and of course a....
.
Hey!... A guy can do this too... I've done it myself ...
quote:Originally posted by HonestBrother:
Hey!... A guy can do this too... I've done it myself ...
oh yes, of course
I was meaning that feeling, that special buzz waiting for him to walk through the door... ... the girl feeling... do men feel really like that too? quote:Originally posted by art_gurl:quote:Originally posted by HonestBrother:
Hey!... A guy can do this too... I've done it myself ...
oh yes, of course
I'm not sure if I know what a "buzz" feeling is... But I'm also not sure what "onya" or a "glamour pussy" is
Anyway... it does feel special... I remember the time I baked my ex-girlfriend a batch of homemade oatmeal cookies for her birthday... She loves cookies... she still talks about that...
quote:Originally posted by HonestBrother:quote:Originally posted by art_gurl:quote:Originally posted by HonestBrother:
Hey!... A guy can do this too... I've done it myself ...
oh yes, of course
I'm not sure if I know what a "buzz" feeling is... But I'm also not sure what "onya" or a "glamour pussy" is
Anyway... it does feel special... I remember the time I baked my ex-girlfriend a batch of homemade oatmeal cookies... She loves cookies... she still talks about that...
are we playing leapfrog?
buzz = giddy excited feeling ... a natural high.
How about you whip up some virtual cookies for AA? Too much pop-corn being eaten on this site... ya'll must be getting fat!!
Wings v. No Wings
Applicator v. No Applicator
Light v. Regular v. Super v. Monsoon
Applicator v. No Applicator
Light v. Regular v. Super v. Monsoon
quote:Originally posted by ma'am:
Wings v. No Wings
Applicator v. No Applicator
Light v. Regular v. Super v. Monsoon
Definitely a woman thing....
Sistahs,
I feel all of your pains, and struggle with the same thing on a regular basis.
I'm in school now working on my doctorate in business administration and would like to teach on the collegiate level, and perhaps, move up the higher education track administratively.
My fear is that people tend to see only what they want and that blinds them to my qualifications, skills and other attributes I can bring to an institution.
Let's face it, black men and women will always have the hard way go--at least until Jesus comes back.
I feel all of your pains, and struggle with the same thing on a regular basis.
I'm in school now working on my doctorate in business administration and would like to teach on the collegiate level, and perhaps, move up the higher education track administratively.
My fear is that people tend to see only what they want and that blinds them to my qualifications, skills and other attributes I can bring to an institution.
Let's face it, black men and women will always have the hard way go--at least until Jesus comes back.
quote:Originally posted by ma'am:
Are there any things that a person would have to be a woman to really understand?
Regardless of how much explanation given or how openminded the man is - he just would have to be female to get it?
Our emotions.....
Peace,
Virtue
Telling me we are going to dinner at a fancy restaurant and then "surprising" me with a picnic in the grass is a very bad idea. I have already planned my hair, clothes, shoes and schedule around that dinner.
Dropping by my place of employment for a quick "Hello" when you're all sweaty and disheveled is a bad surprise.
Okay this isn't all the brothas and it may not be for all the sistas, but here it is...
Why we are so determined to succeed.
Why we don't want to play little housewife anymore.
Why working is fun even though our boss works our last good nerve, our collegues talk smack, and somebody always stealing our "apple juice".
Why as black women we(most of us) have this inner determination and strength.
In my opinion for a man to truly understand any of the above he'd have to woman. I don't think there is any explaination that can make a guy truly and honestly understand the reasons. But I'm willing to accept that I could be wrong.
Why we are so determined to succeed.
Why we don't want to play little housewife anymore.
Why working is fun even though our boss works our last good nerve, our collegues talk smack, and somebody always stealing our "apple juice".
Why as black women we(most of us) have this inner determination and strength.
In my opinion for a man to truly understand any of the above he'd have to woman. I don't think there is any explaination that can make a guy truly and honestly understand the reasons. But I'm willing to accept that I could be wrong.
quote:Originally posted by ma'am:
Wings v. No Wings
Applicator v. No Applicator
Light v. Regular v. Super v. Monsoon
ROFLMAO
that's right on point. that is definetly a woman thing! i love the responses on this thread so far. it's all sooo true.
-women's clothing sizes
-hair care?
-hair care?