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To the Men Who Are Hating on Ciara for Getting Engaged: Get Over It 

She Matters: Stop being mad because the single mom found an upgrade to a bad ex.

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Ciara's been in the entertainment scene for over a decade, since she was introduced as the oddly titled princess of “Crunk & B” on her debut single, “Goodies,” in 2004. She’s had a few high-profile relationships. In 12 years, I can name three, maybe four men she’s dated. One includes Nayvadius “Future” Cash, her former fiance and the father of her son, also Future. 

Her current beau and new fiance (as of Friday) is Russell Wilson, an NFL quarterback who took her to the White House on an early date, occasionally pushes her son’s stroller and seems genuinely happy, based on pictures, to have Ciara and her son in his life. By all accounts, he’s an upgrade, which isn’t all that hard when your ex is the type of guy who publicly calls you “a bitch.”

All in all, to me, Ciara seems like a nice woman without any real controversy (other than her ex, who likes to put their business in the streets). And she’s hardly worthy of the ire she’s drawn in some circles from those who think that she—as well as single mothers like her—is undeserving of Wilson. 

From what I can make of the negative memes and the butthurt-status updates about her, there are people—mostly men—who believe that because Ciara has previously been linked to rappers, and her child is by one, she’s of a lower status among women.

For these men, who evidently never got “the girl,” Ciara is the embodiment of the type of woman who ignores “good men” (like them, of course), the one who makes poor life choices, then looks for the type of man she ignored to come clean up her mess. She’s the “disrespectful ho”—a  slur assigned based, I think, on the fact that she’s dated several rappers, is a single mom and dating a man who seems to treat her child like his own (as any man who dates a single mother is supposed to)—that a naive Wilson is mistakenly trying to turn into a housewife. Never mind that Wilson, 27, who got divorced after a two-year marriage, can’t be that naive about relationships.

All to which I say, “Huh?” 

There seems to be a popular—though completely b.s.—notion that dictates that single mothers should be single for eternity;  that because they had a child out of wedlock, they are unworthy of love from anyone of substance and should be doomed to a life of dating flaky men who will never marry them or even claim them. Their children should never be accepted by any man, perhaps even including the children’s own father. And their single motherhood is solely their fault for having premarital sex and not requiring a man to marry them first. There’s never a word asking why the man they conceived the child with didn’t use a condom or why he didn’t ask for marriage or force the issue before conception or immediately after learning of such. Everything about how women become single mothers rests solely on the mother. 

With a genuine interest, I’m trying to figure out what Ciara did wrong to attract so much hatred. She dated some rappers in her 20s. OK. As a culture, we seem to have no problem with men who date video vixens and Instagram models with no other discernible income throughout their first decade of adulthood. I mean, where are the memes about men who obsess over strippers and how it will make them unsuitable husbands to a decent woman (whatever that means)? They don’t exist. So why is a woman who is dating cute (and rich) men—who are also entertainers, just as she is—such an issue? Oh, because she’s a woman and women are “supposed to ... ” To what? Always make perfect decisions? Only date to find a husband? Only date guys no one knows? Help me out here. 

She became a mom with a man she planned to marry. It didn’t work out. She moves on, even made a song about it. And as she sang she would, she found a man who seems to adore her and treats her kid well. Isn’t that what a responsible, dating mother is supposed to do? Or was she not supposed to date at all because “good” mothers don’t date? Was she supposed to have a man in her life who didn’t treat her and her child well? Oh. I got it. She was supposed to stay tethered to a dysfunctional man to keep her family intact.   

In what world?

Let’s keep it 300, like the Romans. There are a lot of men, bottom-feeder types, who don’t know how to step up in relationships, and they spend their days spewing nonsense about women to keep themselves relevant and to keep women scared of being alone and afraid that a bad situation is the best they can do. Wilson isn’t the first—and won’t be the last—man to date and propose to a single mom, but his relationship with Ciara is a public reminder of how men step up when they are interested, and how all the terrible things said about single moms and the negative way that men allegedly perceive them just isn’t true. By living and likely never thinking about this, she’s become an example to women who might be thinking that single motherhood makes a woman less than; she’s letting them know that, nope, you still got options, boo. And good ones, too. 

Ciara’s relationship success has placed fear in the hearts of shady men. They are mightily threatened, and not by Ciara, per se, but by the idea that the women they’ve been half-stepping toward could one day get a clue, too. All these memes and ranting status updates? Weak men desperately fighting to maintain the idea that they should be valued for adding nothing. I see you, and I see right through you. Hopefully, the women you encounter do, too. 

Last edited by Momentum
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It's amazing just how many Black men so easily take whatever "bait" their oppressors sit out for them to gobble up.  

In this case, critics of Ciara merely because she has a child, that and all of their imagined or delusional (because having access to the internet and 'social media' couldn't possibly make know them know anything about her real life first hand.

Too bad they are too ignorant to know that they are being "baited" by a Racist Propaganda Machine to be brainwashed and socially conditioned to hold their own women in contempt [while idolizing all others, though], which only serves to kill all his seed that can't be diluted through interracial marriage and relationships.  

It's really quite ingenious; achieving birth control and population control of an entire race of people by Social Conditioning and Brainwashing seeds of contempt and condescension in Black men toward their own women via Propaganda Psychology.

I agree with what Dynast Amir said, I think he hit the nail on the head. Which is why many women can't find a man when they are ready to stop being ran through by low lifes. It does begin in High School, some of the best girls by looks and books were ruined and ran through by thugs and no good niggas. I could name a bunch of girls that practically gave their bodies away to no good niggas. Then when they get near thirty they look for a SIMP, a square, a sucker for financial security and stability, to save them.

What I find interesting that Ciara said she preferred "rebels", thugs, gangstas and then she said that Russell Wilson was all about "TIMING" and what is "BEST" for her at this point in her life. I think Russell Wilson is a SIMP and is being played. Why not pursue a woman of honor that maintained a level of decency and did not whore herself out to dogs. Russell Wilson is supposed to be a big Christian but instead of getting a woman that values decency, virtue and honor, someone who deserves to be put on a pedestal, he's engaged to the leftovers of rappers and gangstas and is 1 of 6 different baby mommas by a self-described gangsta.

That is what men are reacting to. Russell Wilson is setting a bad example. It's his life but he is in the spotlight. 

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Last edited by Momentum

this is one of the reason why I never dated a single mom.  They are looking for simps at that point in their lives.  I deserve to have a woman that was childless like myself so that we can build a relationship and then a family, if we chose to.  As for Russell Wilson, I think he probably misses his dad.  As I recall, his dad passed away and he didn't have another father figure male to help guide him through adulthood.  

As for Ciara, you break that simp!!!  Most guys with money aren't going to take you seriously, kinda like how Future did not take you seriously!!....You came up!!!

 

The lesson here, as I see it, is for fathers to lead your sons in the right direction.  They need us to help them navigate through important life decisions.  If your son finds a woman that is 'Mom approved', please understand that her viewpoint is not enough and could lead your son to be a Super Simp, like Russell...raising someone's kid and having that kid's father threatening you like Future did when they heard about the engagement.  

RadioRaheem posted:

this is one of the reason why I never dated a single mom.  They are looking for simps at that point in their lives.  I deserve to have a woman that was childless like myself so that we can build a relationship and then a family, if we chose to.  As for Russell Wilson, I think he probably misses his dad.  As I recall, his dad passed away and he didn't have another father figure male to help guide him through adulthood.  

As for Ciara, you break that simp!!!  Most guys with money aren't going to take you seriously, kinda like how Future did not take you seriously!!....You came up!!!

 

The lesson here, as I see it, is for fathers to lead your sons in the right direction.  They need us to help them navigate through important life decisions.  If your son finds a woman that is 'Mom approved', please understand that her viewpoint is not enough and could lead your son to be a Super Simp, like Russell...raising someone's kid and having that kid's father threatening you like Future did when they heard about the engagement.  

It makes no sense to call this guy a "simp" merely because he's dating a woman that has a child.  Hell, who calls women "simps" for dating men that already have a child(ren)?  No one.  So, this is a double-standard, sexist view.  

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a man choosing to NOT date or marry a woman that already has a child, but there is also absolutely nothing wrong with a man choosing TO date a woman that already has a child.  It's a personal choice and an personal decision either way.  

Who knows, he may really like Ciara and doesn't care if she already has a child or not, and there is nothing wrong with that.  Besides, at this point, they are only dating, and as I remember, dating is merely hanging out together, companionship, and the chance to get to know a person well enough to know whether or not you actually want to get serious or commit to any serious relationship or even marriage.  

They may date for a while, party together, make some beautiful memories together, and eventually move on to another relationship, and you already have them walking down the isle.  

But, one thing men really need NOT do, is date a woman that has a child, if he's going to resent the child or the woman the whole time he's in a relationship with her.  And any woman that has a child and dates a man that resents the child. or resents or has a condescending opinion of her because she has a child is a damn fool.  

But in the grand scheme of things, it really boils down to "Different Strokes, For Different Folks".

 

 

Last edited by sunnubian
sunnubian posted:
RadioRaheem posted:

this is one of the reason why I never dated a single mom.  They are looking for simps at that point in their lives.  I deserve to have a woman that was childless like myself so that we can build a relationship and then a family, if we chose to.  As for Russell Wilson, I think he probably misses his dad.  As I recall, his dad passed away and he didn't have another father figure male to help guide him through adulthood.  

As for Ciara, you break that simp!!!  Most guys with money aren't going to take you seriously, kinda like how Future did not take you seriously!!....You came up!!!

The lesson here, as I see it, is for fathers to lead your sons in the right direction.  They need us to help them navigate through important life decisions.  If your son finds a woman that is 'Mom approved', please understand that her viewpoint is not enough and could lead your son to be a Super Simp, like Russell...raising someone's kid and having that kid's father threatening you like Future did when they heard about the engagement.  

It makes no sense to call this guy a "simp" merely because he's dating a woman that has a child.  Hell, who calls women "simps" for dating men that already have a child(ren)?  No one.  So, this is a double-standard, sexist view.  

*He is a Simp because he is trying to deal with a woman that dated thugs...marrying her makes no sense....if he is trying to save her or make her an honest woman....he is a simp because she did that to herself.  did you see the picture I posted on this thread  Ciara with Russ vs Ciara with Future....same woman...different realities!!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a man choosing to NOT date or marry a woman that already has a child, but there is also absolutely nothing wrong with a man choosing TO date a woman that already has a child.  It's a personal choice and an personal decision either way.  

*I agree with the first part and partially agree with the second part.  there OFTEN is something wrong with dating a woman with a kid...it depends on how the kid came about...was it a marriage that somehow failed?  or was it a teen mother situation??  teen moms are often irresponsible and this will show in her male co=parent choices.  A wise man would avoid these women ASAP...esp. if he is planning on building something in the future, i.e. a marriage, a business, and/or a happy, drama-free life 

Who knows, he may really like Ciara and doesn't care if she already has a child or not, and there is nothing wrong with that.  Besides, at this point, they are only dating, and as I remember, dating is merely hanging out together, companionship, and the chance to get to know a person well enough to know whether or not you actually want to get serious or commit to any serious relationship or even marriage.  

*nobody is saying that he doesn't like Ciara, but Future already threatened to harm Russell.  That's not a normal situation and a situation that could have been avoided completely by not dealing with Ciara.  Here's a question for u=you....and please answer honestly.  If Russ and Ciara are at their house and Future shows up and starts yelling and screaming about something that involves their kid, should Russ intervene??  

They may date for a while, party together, make some beautiful memories together, and eventually move on to another relationship, and you already have them walking down the isle.  

But, one thing men really need NOT do, is date a woman that has a child, if he's going to resents the child or the woman the whole time he's in a relationship with her.  And any woman that has a child and dates a man that resents the child. or resents or has a condescending opinion of her because she has a child is a damn fool.  

But in the grand scheme of things, it really boils down to "Different Strokes, For Different Folks".

*I'm looking at it from a safety and logically sense perspective...why involve yourself in a situation that COULD be harmful to your health?  Russ is kinda a cornball/nerd  (according to his teammates) and Ciara is the hottest chick at the high school....  he needed to have a father help him figure out his value...I say dad here because, as I mentioned earlier, Russ said that Ciara was 'mom approved', meaning that mom might just like the fact that Ciara is Black and Russ's first wife was a white woman....you see, mom's approval of Ciara could be based on emotion...dad's logic is needed here.

As a final note, I think Russ, and brothers like him, should date up and not pick up the trash of people like Future, who as was mentioned above, already has a full starting basketball lineup of kids, plus one......Women that CHOOSE to be in situations like that need to just manage it the best they can....alone or with another Future-type dude that is already a mess.  

 

I heard that Russell won't ask her to sign a pre-nup.....Dads matter!!

Last edited by RadioRaheem

You can't turn a hoe into a housewife. Actually, it does happen. Good luck anyway but he will find out the hard way that he is being played. A woman pushing up on you with a 7 month old child sees you as a simp. Caira said she likes "rebels" but we know what she was saying she really likes thugs, gangstas and slickstas. And then she said it was all about "timing" with Russell Wilson, LOL. Women are finding out once you make a life with dogs you are stained, unless you can find someone that don't know about you, that is why simps are in huge demand, it's so many hoes that want to be saved.  

Women willingly get hoed out and passed around among thugs and then look for that square, the nice guy, they ignored, made fun of after years of being abused and treated like trash and making babies. Brothas, don't feel sorry for them and save them, let them be an example to other women to not hook up with low lifes and think it's cool and fly. 

There is a stroll that has sometimes 20, 30 females working and many of them are really pretty, some are freaking gorgeous, some exotic pretty and some are really young too, 16 to 21 years old maybe. And I often wonder how did they get sucked in like that? I just don't get it. Hell, if they got a job and appeared to be decent they could find a sucka but they would rather be hookers and sticking with the pimp, boyfriend, thug or whatever. 

I have seen this among some of my relatives, start out beautiful, book smart with good grades, from good homes, pretty as can be, sexy too and they know it but the big mistake they make, they want to be with a thug, a rapper, a gangsta, the slick dude with no skills or no higher education, the party\club promoter, why?  Never understood it, in every single case not one of them found a simp to save them because they have been through hell and back and too damaged even for a simp. And have children that barely knows their father or who exactly who he is or just don't know. 2 of them have gone lesbian and really I can't blame them after what they been through with dudes but it's often the case they save each other.   

Last edited by Momentum

Brotha RR wrote:  

this is one of the reason why I never dated a single mom.  

I'm glad you did.  Too many times brothas give single moms the wrong idea.  And the hidden agenda for them?  Sex.

They are looking for simps at that point in their lives.  

When you say simp....what do you mean?

I deserve to have a woman that was childless like myself so that we can build a relationship and then a family, if we chose to.  

That's the way it's supposed to be.  But there are a lot of distractions today that weren't there back in the day.  So I commend you for knowing what you want in life and not confusing lust for love.  There's a great difference.  And in life...just the fact that you can find your soul mate is a gift.  And just like in life...things sometimes come in packages.  Doesn't make it worse or better.  Just is.  It's the journey you aspire to. And you have to look at the quality of a person.  Not the status. [BTW...(all) black women (not some) DESERVE the same consideration my brotha...the exact same.]

As for Russell Wilson, I think he probably misses his dad.  As I recall, his dad passed away and he didn't have another father figure male to help guide him through adulthood.  

But he's with...as I think you may be pointing to...a lot of brothas his age without fathers.  The rate is high for fatherless sons.  And...daddyless daughters.  And it's been that way for a long time....especially during the 80s and 90s when the black community collapsed as a result of gangs/drugs.  And something else my friend.  "Real" black people didn't judge other black folks for their mistakes or misfortunes in life.  We were all in it together....including fatherless children.  We knew we had to stick together or massa would wipe us out like he has so many others.  So for us?  Every black person had VALUE...and it wasn't by martial status.  It was simplier back then....and much more successful for us as a people.  Now? Not so much.  And you gotta know there is a connection in how we feel toward each other as individuals and how massa reacts to how we treat each other as a culture.   Can't have it both ways my brotha.  Can't be I'm black and I'm proud and then call a black woman a itch.  We as a people depend on our black men to have some form of integrity.

As for Ciara, you break that simp!!!  Most guys with money aren't going to take you seriously, kinda like how Future did not take you seriously!!....You came up!!!

Up from where?  I don't understand.  Does money really cause you to rise up?  Cuz for me?  Money couldn't solve my problem. I wanted my son.  And would have given ANYTHING....to get him back.  So I'm at a lost when young black folks say..."I'm dating up."  Up from where?  Hell? 

The lesson here, as I see it, is for fathers to lead your sons in the right direction.  They need us to help them navigate through important life decisions.  If your son finds a woman that is 'Mom approved', please understand that her viewpoint is not enough and could lead your son to be a Super Simp, like Russell...raising someone's kid and having that kid's father threatening you like Future did when they heard about the engagement.  

Well Future is an idiot.  He's immature.  And it clear he is NOT ready to be a black man...let alone a father.  Most hip hoppers and rappers have warped way of treating black women.  It is heartbreaking how massa has conditioned them to love money more than their own people.

One of the main reasons why I respect you so much my  brotha is that you get it. You get your role as a black man....your role as your wife's protector...your role as a black father.  Your role as one of the co-leaders in your family.  I can tell over the years how you have grown.  10 years ago?  We were still fighting.  And now I can see so much growth and maturity in you...it makes my heart just patter..like it does with  my children.  Our culture need STRONG black men like you.  No.  I don't know you.  No.  Never laid eyes on you.  However, visual is just that...visual.  Words are powerful and from what I feel from you?  You are the stalwart vision for the black men in your generation.  And it makes me feel SAFE...that we still have our men warriors out there ready to fight for our cause.  The black cause.  You know how  to maintain the dignity, integrity and legacy of our amazing people.  For that?  Thank you.    But we  have STOP being "caste" toward our people.  So what!!!.  She's a single mom with a kid.  She's a human being and a black woman with a kid who may or may not needs help from her community-not judgment and definitely not criticism.  When they say it's hard being a pimp?  It's hard being a single black woman not being loved by her OWN people.  Cuz the child could have been aborted....but SHE choose not to do it.  Does that make her less than a human being for doing something completely natural?  

Remember massa created marriage to extend the chain of slavery onto his selected wife-a method adopted by most religions that have nothing whatsoever to do with being human.  Man's law about women.  As why in some religions man can marry as many women he can afford-that's chattel with a ring on it. It's still slavery.  Ask the five year old bride or the two-day old infant wife.  So we as Africans...have to be careful how we dishonor our women.  They are wounded casualties of a war we didn't declare.  And this thing is testimony of how black men look at black women as if the black women aren't worth their chivalry....love...commitment...loyalty and yet these black women did what  other whores married or not didn't do....and that's use their African aggression to free their people.  How you gon get mad at that?  We're not mad at the black men for doing absolutely NOTHING to save us....we didn't say a word when black men [willingly] succumbed to massa's wrath by being his mentally castrated kept eunuch protecting massa's harem.  So why does black men think they can just throw shade toward us?[for something they are supposed to do for us as men..anyway]  Cuz they think they can. Do they really think they're better cuz they can swing it left and right?  Well...that's why we are being targeted as a people cuz we don't love each other enough to see that we are merely human beings just trying to survive in a world that used us up...and now don't want us. Hell...we don't even want us.  Sad.BTW:  Remember some of yall have daughters. Which means potentially other black men might be saying the SAME exact [disrespectful, cruel, non-empathic and completely  arrogant] thang about them.   But

 

Last edited by Kocolicious

Brotha Momentum wrote:  

You can't turn a hoe into a housewife. Actually, it does happen. Good luck anyway but he will find out the hard way that he is being played. A woman pushing up on you with a 7 month old child sees you as a simp. Caira said she likes "rebels" but we know what she was saying she really likes thugs, gangstas and slickstas. And then she said it was all about "timing" with Russell Wilson, LOL. Women are finding out once you make a life with dogs you are stained, unless you can find someone that don't know about you, that is why simps are in huge demand, it's so many hoes that want to be saved.  

  Am I hearing things?  Or is it I'm just getting tooooooooo old?  Either way it is troubling to hear brothas talk that way about sistas...on the side.  Cuz we are in a crisis.  Right?  Targeted? Both genders.  And yet....in core of the culture?  This is what's going on?  Amongst the men and women?  Tell  me.  You're kidding,  Right?  .  

Women willingly get hoed out and passed around among thugs and then look for that square, the nice guy, they ignored, made fun of after years of being abused and treated like trash and making babies. Brothas, don't feel sorry for them and save them, let them be an example to other women to not hook up with low lifes and think it's cool and fly. 

Wow!  The truth comes out.  Hal. Lay. Lu. Yer.  No wonder they're wiping us out.  We're not even human to each other.  We talk about the fake this and fake that...massa this and massa that.  And in the corner in the dark way back there where we don't even have to....we're quietly bashing each other. For what?  Massa's been dicking our minds for hundreds of years and got us to the point where  we willingly throw our own people in the wood pile and quickly strike a match-then laugh like it's a joke.  But will scream dirty murder if the po po even look our way.   Better not! Cuz Ima gon demonstrate.

I guess I'm just old school.  I grow up sharing what I know about my culture cuz it was such a damn secret back then.  People go through things-that's life.  We're not here to be perfect.  But for your own to judge.  Man!  We woman don't get  a focking break.  We work to the focking bones for our family...up in massa's face about our children...collobrating together with our significant other or not and willingly put it ALL and have on the line [falling on the blade] for our people.  And yet in the club or in the streets brothas are next to each other gazing as they continue the white patriarch goal:  break the spirit of the black woman.  So what I'm hearing is....in the black man's eyes, the black woman can't make no mistakes.  And she's not someone's daughter, sister. She's faceless.  So.  Who gon be her voice?   Is she always gonna be deemed a whore cuz she thought she was in love with black man?  And it didn't work out. What?  Is that double focking standard?    I mean...young girls DO GET PREYED on.    So lemme see.  She gon get BLAMED for somebody else's behavior? ummm sounding more and more like it's the middle east to me.

It's different when it's a white girl...right?  Even though she comes from a legacy of being a whore...it's different.  Cuz how many times does a white whore says she's in love with a newly rich black brain dead athlete/celebrity?  And it doesn't work out.  Is she thrown under the bus?  They would be a hellllllll nawl.  So.  It's okay for a white girl to simp.  Cuz it is expected that a white whore will be paid off... the moment she stepped in the room with a brotha.  And the sad thing is?  Brothas really don't see anything wrong with this double standard perception.  Most think it makes them a man's man to be with massa's whore:  the classic sex slave whore [who have brats she can't raise....as why she always needs a nanny---and was never ever woman enough to do it on her own......[take care of herself if she had to]...but!  I forget. Black men forgot about that struggle they witnessed in their childhood with their own mothers, aunts, grandma, sister, cousin.  Massa separated black families all the time but they manage to stay united as a culture because of  black love.  I don't understand this "caste" attitude we now have toward each other.  They do that shyte in India.  It's a form of slavery racism.  We're better than that.  

And what's sooooo cold?  These same brothas are gonna be talking like those incarcerated.  Could da.  Should da.  But didn't.  The total disrespect I hear from intelligent brothas is focking frightening!  I know I won't be able to hide in their backyard...if I'm running from the po po.  Damn! I dunno what to say.  

There is a stroll that has sometimes 20, 30 females working and many of them are really pretty, some are freaking gorgeous, some exotic pretty and some are really young too, 16 to 21 years old maybe. And I often wonder how did they get sucked in like that? I just don't get it. Hell, if they got a job and appeared to be decent they could find a sucka but they would rather be hookers and sticking with the pimp, boyfriend, thug or whatever. 

Cuz they don't have their fathers, brothers, uncles, grandpa, male cousins telling what to look out for from male predators.  They don't have honest black men in their community mature enough to recognize that they are children growing into adulthood and as black men?  Do the honorable thing by watching out for their welfare.  I understand that we don't have that anymore...but!  This is why.  Also why our community is deteriorating until we viciously hate each other and massa don't have to do a thing but watch and enjoy it like the Romans did with the Christians.  But unfortunately this is a similar attitude in black males toward black women in Africa.  On the surface, it shows unity but inside the culture it is chaotic.  uh oh.  Next, brothas here gonna be talking about FGM. [thank god a lot of 'em don't know what that is.]

I have seen this among some of my relatives, start out beautiful, book smart with good grades, from good homes, pretty as can be, sexy too and they know it but the big mistake they make, they want to be with a thug, a rapper, a gangsta, the slick dude with no skills or no higher education, the party\club promoter, why?  Never understood it, in every single case not one of them found a simp to save them because they have been through hell and back and too damaged even for a simp. And have children that barely knows their father or who exactly who he is or just don't know. 2 of them have gone lesbian and really I can't blame them after what they been through with dudes but it's often the case they save each other.   

I understand our culture has changed.  And we don't reach out to teach any more.  I remember I use to stay outside all day and come back home with life experiences [from the black community] that shaped my world.  The social skills and survival tools I learned.  But.  I am heartbroken about my people's journey thus far.  We won't help each other. We won't even look at each other-only hold deep criticism.   I don't understand those concepts.  I know this is about thugs, simps and hoes...but!  These are my people.  The younger generation whose parents failed them.  That the black community failed them.  Schools failed them.  Many of em raised themselves...practically.  But of course the blame will be on the women...you know those hoes?   My question.  What happened to  the elders? The black men.  Or the strong black women in the community who use to come to every body aide?  Wouldn't dare call them whores.   Right?  Maybe I'm missin' something in this thread.  Cuz.  Can't help but feel sad for my peeps..who seem to be dying from the inside out.  But!  

Last edited by Kocolicious
Kocolicious posted:

Brotha Momentum wrote:  

You can't turn a hoe into a housewife. Actually, it does happen. Good luck anyway but he will find out the hard way that he is being played. A woman pushing up on you with a 7 month old child sees you as a simp. Caira said she likes "rebels" but we know what she was saying she really likes thugs, gangstas and slickstas. And then she said it was all about "timing" with Russell Wilson, LOL. Women are finding out once you make a life with dogs you are stained, unless you can find someone that don't know about you, that is why simps are in huge demand, it's so many hoes that want to be saved.  

  Am I hearing things?  Or is it I'm just getting tooooooooo old?  Either way it is troubling to hear brothas talk that way about sistas...on the side.  Cuz we are in a crisis.  Right?  Targeted? Both genders.  And yet....in core of the culture?  This is what's going on?  Amongst the men and women?  Tell  me.  You're kidding,  Right?  .  

Women willingly get hoed out and passed around among thugs and then look for that square, the nice guy, they ignored, made fun of after years of being abused and treated like trash and making babies. Brothas, don't feel sorry for them and save them, let them be an example to other women to not hook up with low lifes and think it's cool and fly. 

Wow!  The truth comes out.  Hal. Lay. Lu. Yer.  No wonder they're wiping us out.  We're not even human to each other.  We talk about the fake this and fake that...massa this and massa that.  And in the corner in the dark way back there where we don't even have to....we're quietly bashing each other. For what?  Massa's been dicking our minds for hundreds of years and got us to the point where  we willingly throw our own people in the wood pile and quickly strike a match-then laugh like it's a joke.  But will scream dirty murder if the po po even look our way.   Better not! Cuz Ima gon demonstrate.

I guess I'm just old school.  I grow up sharing what I know about my culture cuz it was such a damn secret back then.  People go through things-that's life.  We're not here to be perfect.  But for your own to judge.  Man!  We woman don't get  a focking break.  We work to the focking bones for our family...up in massa's face about our children...collobrating together with our significant other or not and willingly put it ALL and have on the line [falling on the blade] for our people.  And yet in the club or in the streets brothas are next to each other gazing as they continue the white patriarch goal:  break the spirit of the black woman.  So what I'm hearing is....in the black man's eyes, the black woman can't make no mistakes.  And she's not someone's daughter, sister. She's faceless.  So.  Who gon be her voice?   Is she always gonna be deemed a whore cuz she thought she was in love with black man?  And it didn't work out. What?  Is that double focking standard?    I mean...young girls DO GET PREYED on.    So lemme see.  She gon get BLAMED for somebody else's behavior? ummm sounding more and more like it's the middle east to me.

It's different when it's a white girl...right?  Even though she comes from a legacy of being a whore...it's different.  Cuz how many times does a white whore says she's in love with a newly rich black brain dead athlete/celebrity?  And it doesn't work out.  Is she thrown under the bus?  They would be a hellllllll nawl.  So.  It's okay for a white girl to simp.  Cuz it is expected that a white whore will be paid off... the moment she stepped in the room with a brotha.  And the sad thing is?  Brothas really don't see anything wrong with this double standard perception.  Most think it makes them a man's man to be with massa's whore:  the classic sex slave whore [who have brats she can't raise....as why she always needs a nanny---and was never ever woman enough to do it on her own......[take care of herself if she had to]...but!  I forget. Black men forgot about that struggle they witnessed in their childhood with their own mothers, aunts, grandma, sister, cousin.  Massa separated black families all the time but they manage to stay united as a culture because of  black love.  I don't understand this "caste" attitude we now have toward each other.  They do that shyte in India.  It's a form of slavery racism.  We're better than that.  

And what's sooooo cold?  These same brothas are gonna be talking like those incarcerated.  Could da.  Should da.  But didn't.  The total disrespect I hear from intelligent brothas is focking frightening!  I know I won't be able to hide in their backyard...if I'm running from the po po.  Damn! I dunno what to say.  

There is a stroll that has sometimes 20, 30 females working and many of them are really pretty, some are freaking gorgeous, some exotic pretty and some are really young too, 16 to 21 years old maybe. And I often wonder how did they get sucked in like that? I just don't get it. Hell, if they got a job and appeared to be decent they could find a sucka but they would rather be hookers and sticking with the pimp, boyfriend, thug or whatever. 

Cuz they don't have their fathers, brothers, uncles, grandpa, male cousins telling what to look out for from male predators.  They don't have honest black men in their community mature enough to recognize that they are children growing into adulthood and as black men?  Do the honorable thing by watching out for their welfare.  I understand that we don't have that anymore...but!  This is why.  Also why our community is deteriorating until we viciously hate each other and massa don't have to do a thing but watch and enjoy it like the Romans did with the Christians.  But unfortunately this is a similar attitude in black males toward black women in Africa.  On the surface, it shows unity but inside the culture it is chaotic.  uh oh.  Next, brothas here gonna be talking about FGM. [thank god a lot of 'em don't know what that is.]

I have seen this among some of my relatives, start out beautiful, book smart with good grades, from good homes, pretty as can be, sexy too and they know it but the big mistake they make, they want to be with a thug, a rapper, a gangsta, the slick dude with no skills or no higher education, the party\club promoter, why?  Never understood it, in every single case not one of them found a simp to save them because they have been through hell and back and too damaged even for a simp. And have children that barely knows their father or who exactly who he is or just don't know. 2 of them have gone lesbian and really I can't blame them after what they been through with dudes but it's often the case they save each other.   

I understand our culture has changed.  And we don't reach out to teach any more.  I remember I use to stay outside all day and come back home with life experiences [from the black community] that shaped my world.  The social skills and survival tools I learned.  But.  I am heartbroken about my people's journey thus far.  We won't help each other. We won't even look at each other-only hold deep criticism.   I don't understand those concepts.  I know this is about thugs, simps and hoes...but!  These are my people.  The younger generation whose parents failed them.  That the black community failed them.  Schools failed them.  Many of em raised themselves...practically.  But of course the blame will be on the women...you know those hoes?   My question.  What happened to  the elders? The black men.  Or the strong black women in the community who use to come to every body aide?  Wouldn't dare call them whores.   Right?  Maybe I'm missin' something in this thread.  Cuz.  Can't help but feel sad for my peeps..who seem to be dying from the inside out.  But!  

Any woman that lowers her standards so low and tries to make a life with a thug who has 5 babies with 5 different women and then she becomes #6 is not marriage material. And any man who think that such a woman is marriage material is either a simp or a fool. I do wish them well, at least she is Black. 

Last edited by Momentum

I wouldn't marry a woman that hopped on the cock carosel of the hood...but a long term relationship...yeah

And I would just let her know that she is leftovers that ran thru by everyone...

The thing I care about is the honesty and value in the equation.

If I am wildly successful and you someone's baby momma to a man that got like 6 of them - I am better than you, by default. I am doing you a favor...by default. 

I will remind you about your bastard baby if you come at me sideways. I will remind you were I found you...whether it was the strip club, the recording studio, a party...OkCupid.

The problem with men, men wanna save these women because it validates the good side of masculinity.

The whole protector lover bullshit. 

 

I ain't about that life, but if you a cool girl as many hoes, sluts and etc tend to be, we can chill...but I ain't marry you and I ain't saving you. 

Young Brotha Goodman wrote:  

I wouldn't marry a woman that hopped on the cock carosel of the hood...but a long term relationship...yeah

And I would just let her know that she is leftovers that ran thru by everyone...

The thing I care about is the honesty and value in the equation.

If I am wildly successful and you someone's baby momma to a man that got like 6 of them - I am better than you, by default. I am doing you a favor...by default. 

I will remind you about your bastard baby if you come at me sideways. I will remind you were I found you...whether it was the strip club, the recording studio, a party...OkCupid.

The problem with men, men wanna save these women because it validates the good side of masculinity.

The whole protector lover bullshit. 

 

I ain't about that life, but if you a cool girl as many hoes, sluts and etc tend to be, we can chill...but I ain't marry you and I ain't saving you. 

Wow!  Let's get it allllllllllll on the table, shall we?  That's the ONLY way we gon fix this.  But!

Brotha Momentum wrote:  Actually, I'm throwing shade twice on dudes and once on the female, the thug, the hoe and the simp. See 2 of three are dudes.

 

 oh.  okay,  [even though these are still children (deemed the thug, hoe and the simp.)..they are] not fully grown yet. And will (potentially) do stupid shyte along their life's path. ] Got it!  But! You said something very interesting.  Tell me my brotha.  What is your interpretation of marriage "material?."  Just curious.  But!  

Last edited by Kocolicious
GoodMan posted:

I wouldn't marry a woman that hopped on the cock carosel of the hood...but a long term relationship...yeah

And I would just let her know that she is leftovers that ran thru by everyone...

The thing I care about is the honesty and value in the equation.

If I am wildly successful and you someone's baby momma to a man that got like 6 of them - I am better than you, by default. I am doing you a favor...by default. 

I will remind you about your bastard baby if you come at me sideways. I will remind you were I found you...whether it was the strip club, the recording studio, a party...OkCupid.

The problem with men, men wanna save these women because it validates the good side of masculinity.

The whole protector lover bullshit. 

 

I ain't about that life, but if you a cool girl as many hoes, sluts and etc tend to be, we can chill...but I ain't marry you and I ain't saving you. 

It's you prerogative to date and marry whomever you want, just like it's a woman's prerogative to date and marry whomever she wants, and just because a woman has dated someone other than you, does not mean she's "hopped on the cock carousel of the hood"; besides, since NO ONE is "better than" ANYONE else on this planet, the your "cock" is no better than the "cocks" 'in the hood'.

And while you are "letting her know that she is leftovers that's been run through by everybody", maybe she will be letting you know that you are "leftovers" that's been run through by everybody, too.  Besides, if you think of a woman like that, you have no business dating or marrying her.

All of this hate and contempt for women and for women actually having a sexuality is born out of patriarchal sexism and oppression against women disguised as "religion" and "culture".

If men would take the time to read far back enough in history, or research where these sexist perceptions really originated, they would find that they were thought up by groups of men who lived alone with each other without benefit of any kind of a relationship with a woman, and at a time when 99.9% of the entire human race was totally illiterate, and totally ignorant of human anatomy and physiology.

Sexism uses the same model as Racism and was devised for the same purpose, to mislead, misinform, oppress, enslave, and hide particular TRUTHS; truths like the fact that men and women are equals, and always have been, and that "religions" are covers for homosexuality between men and for the pedophilia that men engage in.   [i.e.]  In order to have men to engage in homosexual activity with in the first place, you have to first turn men against women; to be able to sexually abuse children, you have to first oppress women and strip them of power.  

So, there are a lot of men running around holding all this contempt for women, or trying to compartmentalize women's sexuality into "grades" of worth, like sides of beef, or animals on an auction block, or like Slaves on an auction block, without ever even contemplating the homosexual and/or asexual origins of it all, not to mention the illiterate and ignorant masses it was initially intended to deceive.  

Last edited by sunnubian
Kocolicious posted:

Brotha Momentum wrote:  Actually, I'm throwing shade twice on dudes and once on the female, the thug, the hoe and the simp. See 2 of three are dudes.

 

 oh.  okay,  [even though these are still children (deemed the thug, hoe and the simp.)..they are] not fully grown yet. And will (potentially) do stupid shyte along their life's path. ] Got it!  But! You said something very interesting.  Tell me my brotha.  What is your interpretation of marriage "material?."  Just curious.  But!  

Well, obviously your standard is pretty damn low. A thug with 6 kids sprawled all over the gaddam place with 6 different mommas is marriage material. A woman that thinks that making a life with someone like that is also good marriage material. I'm not going to tell you what is good marriage material , you already know as I pointed out above, thugs making babies and women that think that is great is your standard, you got it all figured out. Hell ya, grown people make mistakes all the time, we all do. 

From this point onward I will be smh when you complain about gang members, thugs, shooting and robbing and making babies all over the place. According to you, thugs are marriage material. If you truly believe that, then you don't need my definition. 

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