Is he a "dog"

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Originally posted by keylargo:

I've been seeing this guy for a couple of months now and from day one, I felt like he was a major player. I don't know if I'm just being paranoid or if it's my intuition. How do you tell the difference?

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Is he a dog? If you have to ask the question, it's a good bet that he is.


There is no passion to be found playing small, in settling for a life
that is less than the one you are capable of living. - Mandela

[This message was edited by MBM on September 20, 2003 at 08:40 AM.]

Before we get out the ALPO and flea collar...


CLARIFY

"So, I can't connect with him emotionally with all these behaviors spinning around in my head."


what do you need/want from this guy?

Have you communicated that to him?

yes but i've also dated a couple of guys that i didn't think for a moment that they were dogs. i had to find out the hard way.

quote:

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Originally posted by keylargo:

yes but i've also dated a couple of guys that i didn't think for a moment that they were dogs. i had to find out the hard way.

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That's precisely why I say that if you suspect it, it's probably true. "Players" try to keep so much of their "stuff" underground that when it does surface, like an iceberg, it's probably just the tip!

Now, good brothers can make mistakes and can do stupid things - and still not be "players". You just have to determine how much you want to invest in him to see which he is.


There is no passion to be found playing small, in settling for a life
that is less than the one you are capable of living. - Mandela

Well, as long as he continues to buy dinner without getting anything but good conversation in return, I'll keep him around.

I told him on our second date that I refused to be physically intimate with someone unless we were in a committed relationship. I don't think he believes me. So, it will be interesting to see how long he's willing to hang around.

Hey KeyLargo! Is he a "dog". You know the answer to that question girl. I think that you should see other people as friends or associates don't get caught up into this person. Definitely don't sleep with him at all. I know that you know that 2/3 of all new AIDS cases are black women. I encourage all women to date as if they were men. You'll have SO much fun!
With love,
Sista Yssys

keylargo ....

Although it's highly possible that dude does indeed bark ... there is another criteria by which you should measure which might give you a little insight into his true character.

It's not only the quantity of quality time that this man gives you, it's the quality of the quality time that you receive from him that is also important.

Just based on the limited information you've given, I would make the following limited assessment of him:

#1 - the fact that he no longer takes calls when he's with you is an indicator of some kind of respect. You need to determine if he gives that to you because he's just trying to impress you to get the panties, or is he really concerned about your perception of him.

#2 - the fact that he told you upfront that he has many girl friends is a declaration of honesty on his part. How he interacts with these girl friends might tell you the exact nature of the "friend" part of these girls!! However, if he doesn't talk to them while you're around, you can't really find out much about that interaction! But how he talks to them and what he says is a good indicator.

#3 - during his times of something going on on the weekend - are these times off limits to you? Or are you still able to communicate with him? Are your calls one of those that goes into a message and doesn't get returned? Or do you feel there is effort to keep in close contact most of the time?

#4 - Lastly, if you get "turned off" by his actions toward you, there is something there that might not just be his being a dog, but maybe there is incompatibility on another level between you two. Sometimes the chemistry is just not mixable - like oil and water, they separate from each other.

I can tell you, perceptions aren't always what they seem to be. I, personally, have missed out on a lot potential relationships because of the fact that I am a really, really busy person!! And I tell guys that right up front ... of course, the majority say it's okay, they can handle it. But what happens in a lot of cases is, at times when I really don't have a lot of time to devote to the development of the relationship, they decide in their minds that I'm spending my time doing something other than the family and business stuff that does actually take up most of my time! I can't help what they think, but they perceive me to be out running the streets and having fun, when I am, in fact, just trying to juggle what are more responsibilities than the average single person has!

So, rather than looking at those things that might definitely declare him as a dog, look at those things that don't and see if he really is what he's trying to make you believe he is. If you are able to cancel any of those things out ... then yes, girlfriend ... dude is probably very much a DOG!!

BLACK by NATURE, PROUD by CHOICE.
Free your mind, and the rest will follow.