Skip to main content

I wasn't sure where to put this ... here or in the Entertainment forum! sck

This is a movie trailer that was sent to me about the Down Low situation in the African American community and the resulting increase in HIV/AIDS for Black women!! Very interesting is somewhat of an understatement! Eek

I don't know if the movie is out, 'coming to a theater near you' or 'coming this summer on video'!! It was kinda chilling just to watch the trailer, though! Eek

I don't know how to find it on YouTube (RR or Huey... could you help provide more info, please? Smile) but, I've uploaded the Windows Media file that was sent to me!
 
 BLACK by NATURE, PROUD by CHOICE.

Attachments

Videos (1)
reellow
Original Post

Replies sorted oldest to newest

AIDS is a disease of choice. Whether the "Down Low" phenomenon is miniscule or pandemic, the decision to require a condom and get tested for HIV is within anyone's grasp.

Our community's attitudes regarding sexuality are the primary reason for the HIV rate among our brothers & sisters IMO.

If the filmmaker is giving the proceeds to HIV prevention or providing education, testing and condoms along with the film, great. Otherwise, it's just more profiteering by showing our worst face to the world.
Okay, Ddouble ... lemme get this straight ...

quote:
Originally posted by ddouble:
AIDS is a disease of choice. Whether the "Down Low" phenomenon is miniscule or pandemic, the decision to require a condom and get tested for HIV is within anyone's grasp.


Sooo ... are you saying that it should be incumbent for a wife who believes she is in a monogamous and committed relationship with her husband to require him to wear a condom when they have sex and regularly get tested for HIV? Confused And that if she doesn't, it's her fault if she gets HIV/AIDS because she did not "grasp" at her "choice" to do so? Confused

quote:
Our community's attitudes regarding sexuality are the primary reason for the HIV rate among our brothers & sisters IMO.


This I can agree with. But, where, exactly does the confines of marriage fit into this? I would think in a marriage, those attitudes are more narrowly defined. Do you not think so? Confused

quote:
If the filmmaker is giving the proceeds to HIV prevention or providing education, testing and condoms along with the film, great. Otherwise, it's just more profiteering by showing our worst face to the world.


Or ... perhaps the filmmaker is providing a very real visual depiction to show brothers (who are, in fact, on the DL) how their infidelities can affect their lives, relationships, marriage and families in adverse ways. Maybe? 19
Now ... to be clear, as I stated in my first post ... I am a little squeamish myself about seeing this movie! Eek But, only because I'm not too keen on seeing brothas (especially fine ones! eyes) that close upon each other unless there is a football uniform and some pads in between them!! If ya know what I mean! Eek

However, I believe that if there is a 'down low' phenomenon in our community and it is causing a rise in the number of Black women contracting HIV/AIDS ... then something (a movie) that brings knowledge and attention to that could & would be a good thing!
My statement about our community attitudes towards sexuality is tied to first statement. Because of the large stigma attached to homosexuality, male in particular, in our community the open discussion of safe sex ,testing and treatment for HIV is lacking.

This leads to many of these men hiding their behaviors for fear of being shunned in the community. I'm talking about what is, not excusing their choice.

No it is not a partner's fault for not knowing about the other's full sexual habits & behavior - I never said that.

When I say choice, everyone has one. The bisexual men (the phrase DL is just sensationalized nonsense) can choose to be tested, use condoms and be honest about their lifestyle.
Oh okay, Ddub ... I can understand what you are saying! Smile

I would point out, though, that a long with the stigma attached to these men's behavior is the tiny little fact that they are married! Many with children! And the ramifications of being honest about their lifestyles are about more than just being shunned by their friends or neighbors!

Secondly, I don't know if you've ever talked these a brotha in this situation ... but I have! And I have yet to hear one of them refer to themselves as a "bisexual"!! I've heard several other interesting descriptions, such as "curious" or "experimenting" or "doing it for the money" or, my favorite, "just trippin'" But none of the guys I've talked to have thought themselves to be bisexual. And, in fact, all of the men I know that prefer to sleep with other men are just straight up gay! I've heard more women refer to themselves as bisexual than I have men. sck

Now, of course, using a condom (in any type of sexual encounter) makes sense. But, in marriages, unless it is being used as a form of birth control, sex without condoms would be/should be the 'norm'. Most of the men I've talked to, though, were never "expecting" to be having sex with another man, though. It more or less "just happened" and they liked it ... so, it happened again! And again! Whereas, probably the majority of the men I've talked to that have cheated on their wives with other women ... carry/use a condom like it's second nature!! It's a given that since they are going to be cheating on their wives, they are going to take steps not to take anything home to her ... but themselves! Eek

And, it's not all Black men that I've talked to. Married White men like to have sex with Black men too! Eek And so, this whole DL business (sensationalized nonsense or not!) is something different and distinct from your normal, run-of-the-mill 'extramarital affair' or 'homosexual/bisexual' occurrence. I think each of those are their own separate and specific situations in our community that need addressing ... but that married men sleeping with other men and spreading HIV/AIDS to their unsuspecting wives is a whole and complete other that Black folks need to stop putting their heads in the sand about and deal with as the unique situation that it is!

IMHO, of course. Smile
My gut feeling tells me that the whole "downlow brother" phenomenon is just another divide-and-conquer tactic.

I wonder how many of the folks who have denied their true feelings and conformed to "societal norms" would not have done so if they were able to express their feelings and live as their true selves. {I know it's a long run-on sentence, bear with me. 1} If homophobia weren't so rampant, would gay/bisexual men be able to stop living in denial of what their true feelings are? What if gay/bisexual men didn't have to be concerned with losing their job, getting beat up, or being ostracized simply because they are homosexual? I'd be willing to bet that not nearly as many of them would end up in sham marriages trying to exorcise or restrain the demons that society has convinced them that they surely have . . . simply because they love (or like to have sex with) other men.

How many of us put on a fake face every day, just to earn a living . . . just to get by . . . just to be accepted by "society" . . . just to blend in?
quote:
Originally posted by ATPWordPro:
I'd be willing to bet that not nearly as many of them would end up in sham marriages trying to exorcise or restrain the demons that society has convinced them that they surely have . . . simply because they love (or like to have sex with) other men.


But, where do the men that are truly happily married, love their wives and children, they family life as a whole ... but, also (secretly) enjoy having sex with other men fit in to this scenario?? Confused

I mean ... lying to society is one thing ... but, lying to your life partner is another, wouldn't you say? Or no? sck
That is my point. If they were free to live how they feel, they never would have gotten married in the first place, especially with all the deceit involved in pretending to be heterosexual. Being happily married is a judgment call for those of us on the outside looking in. At the end of the day, how happy is someone really when they are only living half of their life. At the very least they would have married (or formed a family unit when the law doesn't allow marriage) with someone who is open to his bisexuality.

I guess another thread would be, Define "happily married".
Okay, ATP ... I do understand your point! Smile

But, I am referring to those brothas that didn't start out with any homosexual/bisexual tendencies or desires!

Now, granted ... I'm not calling myself an expert or anything! Eek But, I have had the opportunity to sit down and talk to a few men in this situation. (The last time I was in L.A., a gay friend of ours had his birthday party at a gay bar - which is always an experience! Big Grin But, when I do go there, I usually take the time to sit and talk to guys there ... admittedly to avoid having any gay women there try to hit on me!)

But, from my conversations with married men who were having sex with other men, most of them had no idea that they would actually enjoy the experience! Usually, "one thing led to another" and they were into it before they knew it! And telling the wife was as much a no-no, not only because of how it would affect them in society ... but, because they loved their wife and didn't want to ruin the marriage or their families! Eek

So, I'm just saying, sometimes the deceit is not just a matter of self-preservation (trying to retain their public reputations) ... but, that sometimes it's just a matter of being trapped! As I said, I have yet to hear one actually call himself a "bisexual" which I think is a matter of denial ... but, I think that oftentimes, the reason for that denial is because they truly believe themselves to be more of a husband and/or father, than a man who prefers to be with other men. sck
Okay, my bad. Gotcha. These folks thought they were hetero when they married and found out afterwards that they are not (even if they won't admit it).

Hopefully the love that he claims to have for his wife and kids will manifest itself as a divorce so that they can both move on and be happy, and the kids won't be caught in the middle.

Yeah, isn't southern Cali . . . interesting. Spent 18 years there. 4
quote:
Originally posted by ATPWordPro:
Okay, my bad. Gotcha. These folks thought they were hetero when they married and found out afterwards that they are not (even if they won't admit it).


Exactly!! tfro

quote:
Hopefully the love that he claims to have for his wife and kids will manifest itself as a divorce so that they can both move on and be happy, and the kids won't be caught in the middle.


appl appl I couldn't agree with you more!! It's the unsuspecting wife I feel sorry for. Especially, if he brings something nasty home with him! Eek

quote:
Yeah, isn't southern Cali . . . interesting. Spent 18 years there. 4


I was born and bred there! That is where I spent my "formative" years! Eek Sometimes I think I learned a little more than anybody needs to know!! Eek

But ... every year I get a little closer to going (being able to afford to go) back! Home is where the heart is!

Add Reply

Post
×
×
×
×
Link copied to your clipboard.
×