Long time an ago, I worked with a woman that I became friends with. During previous conversations, she had shared little things about herself like her apartment was always chilly and her favorite color was purple.

One x-mas I drew her name for an office gift exchange. Remembering what she had shared I went shopping. I passed by Victoria Secrets and saw a pair of silk pj's that were purple but thought that silk jammies was to suggestive. I was leaving and noticed they had these long flannel night shirts that was purple and a pair of matching fuzzy slippers on sale...so I think PERFECT...purple, practical, priced right (25$ gift limit)/

I gave her the gift and I didn't get the impression she was bothered by it but another female said it was a little inappropriate and suggestive. I've posed this question to other women over the years and gotten different responses.

Some said it wasn't the gift but the fact that it came from Victoria S. So if I bought it from J.C Penny's it would be ok???? Some said it was "intimate wear" and therefore suggestive.

So would you be offended if a work associate AND friend did this for you? Would it make a difference were he bought it? Or would night clothing be inappropriate at anytime.
_______________________ "Morality cannot be legislated but behaviour can be regulated. Judicial decrees may not change the heart but they can restrain the heartless." Martin Luther King.
Original Post
My experience is that women always become uncomfortable with "intimate wear" unless the relationship is intimate, and the relationship should be more intimate than the clothing you get her. Buying gifts for women is always kind of touchy, but in this case I would have bought her a light sweater that she could wear indoors (or sleep in) if she chose to.
I wouldn't be offended, but I would think it was an inappropriate gift. I don't think I'd be able to look you in the eyes again at work, just knowing that at some point you were imagining what I would look like in this nightwear. I'd wonder how many different things you "saw" me in before deciding on this. And I'd be nervous that you were going to ask me later on at some point how I was enjoying my gift and spark some kind of conversation about what I wear to bed.
I have to admit that the slippers were a bit on the "too close for comfort" side but as you stated, you were young. I know I have bought some seemingly good gifts (roses and a box of chocolate on Valentine's) only to be told that I was being unNigerian...the girl was Nigerian! She accepted the gifts but rather begrudgingly. Go figure!
quote:
Originally posted by folobatuyi:
I have to admit that the slippers were a bit on the "too close for comfort" side but as you stated, you were young. I know I have bought some seemingly good gifts (roses and a box of chocolate on Valentine's) only to be told that I was being unNigerian...the girl was Nigerian! She accepted the gifts but rather begrudgingly. Go figure!


Wait the slippers were inappropriate? As opposed to the nightshirt??

I don't think houseshoes can ever be a bad gift. Big Grin
A gift is a gift. Take it or leave it. You actually did some decisive shopping and considered all the factors. I think that the woman who approached you about it being inappropriate is a hater and is just mad because she wanted it and you probably bought the last one. Just because someone associates Victoria Secret with intimacy that doesn't mean everyone does. Just like we have different opinions about your situtation, everyone has different views about gifts and brand names.
quote:
Originally posted by Frenchy:
I wouldn't be offended, but I would think it was an inappropriate gift. I don't think I'd be able to look you in the eyes again at work, just knowing that at some point you were imagining what I would look like in this nightwear. I'd wonder how many different things you "saw" me in before deciding on this. And I'd be nervous that you were going to ask me later on at some point how I was enjoying my gift and spark some kind of conversation about what I wear to bed.


WOW!. You would get all of that from a innocent gift from a friend...and besides I wouldn't need to give you a gift to "imagining what I would look like in this nightwear"...since I'm a guy a we tend image most women naked anyway laugh

quote:
A gift is a gift. Take it or leave it. You actually did some decisive shopping and considered all the factors. I think that the woman who approached you about it being inappropriate is a hater and is just mad because she wanted it and you probably bought the last one. Just because someone associates Victoria Secret with intimacy that doesn't mean everyone does. Just like we have different opinions about your situtation, everyone has different views about gifts and brand names.


EXACTALY!!! thanks
quote:
Originally posted by MidLifeMan:
WOW!. You would get all of that from a innocent gift from a friend


There's no such thing as an innocent gift from a man. Cool

I think it's normal to wonder why someone chose a particular gift for you. And I think you'd be hard-pressed to find someone that didn't associate Victoria's Secret with intimacy. Think about your wife telling you she wants to show you a gift she got from her male co-worker... and then pulling out a Victoria's Secret bag. ohsnap
It's funny, as I was reading the original post, I was thinking (tick) colour sounds good (tick) matching set (tick) fits the Santa budget... and yep that's the way I would shop... being a woman... except that if a male work mate bought me something from Victoria's Secret a few things would zoom through my head when I opened it: my boyfriend would totally freak out if another guy bought me anything from Victoria's Secret, second was it a sleezy joke, and third, was there a hidden meaning, did I give a come on signal? Eek And what happens next?

It also depends how well you guys know each other and if you had to open the presents in front of all the other staff.

It would be worse - but more obvious - if the gift was a thong or see-through something, but yeah, I agree with Frenchy on this one... I would feel uncomfortable next time we spoke.

However, and this might make no sense to a man, if I just got the fuzzy slippers, I'd probably be downright insulted, though, lol. Like it was saying 'frumpy present for a frumpy gal.' Frown
Go figure... Big Grin

Depending on the office politics where you work, it's natural to be a little cautious... I guess the safe way is to run it by your wife first. Smile
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quote:
and then pulling out a Victoria's Secret bag.


Point taken...but I don't think I would be to worried about my wife buying a gift for her male co-worker and it was from VICTORIA SECRETS...AND it was for HIM not her....I mean whats to worry about over a man that wears Victoria S clothing....get my point.

But I understand the notion that "there's no such thing as an innocent gift from a man"...like I said I USE to think men and women could be friends but...we know it ain't so. Wink
quote:
if another guy bought me anything from Victoria's Secret, second was it a sleezy joke, and third, was there a hidden meaning, did I give a come on signal


This was years ago and neither of us was married or she may have had a boyfriend...I can't recall...but the reponses here proves my point...men and women CAN NOT be friends because there is ALWAYS an underlying sexual issue. Wink
quote:
Originally posted by MidLifeMan:
I gave her the gift and I didn't get the impression she was bothered by it but another female said it was a little inappropriate and suggestive...
I think that whether or not it was innappropriate would depend on how she interpreted it - not anybody else... After getting the feedback from other co-workers I would have asked her how she felt about it and gone from there (ie: apology or whatever)
quote:
Originally posted by MidLifeMan:
Point taken...but I don't think I would be to worried about my wife buying a gift for her male co-worker and it was from VICTORIA SECRETS


Of course not! There isn't anything really for men in Victoria Secret (at least not hetero men). But if she bought a male co-worker a gift from "Harry's House of Sexy Drawers" or something like that, you'd be a little WTF?.

A woman can be friends with a man. But a man is always a backrub or plate of food from gettin' down with the get down. laugh
ME PERSONALLY I WOULD NOT BE OFFENDED, but I will give you this advice: the best gift IN MY OPINION, is to give them a GIFT CARD. If you paid 50.00 for the outfit at Victoria Secrets, you could have gave her a 50.00 card at J.C. Penny's. Apologize to her, and tell her you did not mean to offend her in any way, it was just a gift.
quote:
"Harry's House of Sexy Drawers" or something like that, you'd be a little WTF?.

SEE...this is the comparison others have made and I don't think it applies. I didn't buy her a two piece laced panty and braw...it was a big, past the knees, flannel, shirt AND fuzzy slippers....what was I "suggesting" with this...that I wanted to have a sleep over, paint her toe nails, and make smores??? lol

If my wife bought a man some silk draws, then I probably would be like WTF...but if she bought him some flannel PJ with the feet in them from Harry's House of Sexy Drawers because she knew he liked that type of SLEEP wear, it was in the price range of the gift, and he was a friend type I wouldn't GAF

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