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Here is the problem:

In the modern sense of the word "relationship", there is a phantom hyphenated prefix that is almost always left out. The prefix is "Sexual-". And in a Sexual-relationship, if the sex is removed, the relationship is hollowed out.

The thing is.. folks have rationalized their sexual relationships into more than what they are. It's really just sex. And all the other stuff is to facilitate the sex. And if you don't think so, just stop the sex and see what happens to the so-called "relationship".

Truth is.. the word relationship doesn't mean anything without some context. And if sex is the main point, then sex is the key to holding it together.

And the same goes for other types of relationships. There are men and women whose relationship is based on children. And so the phantom hyphenated prefix for their relationship is "Parental". and that's why you'll hear folks saying, "I stayed for the kids". Take away those kids, and that relationship falls apart.

And there are two-sided relationships where one side is based on one thing.. and the other side.. another thing. Sex and Money are a familiar pair. He's with her for sex... she's with him for money.. or vice versa. His money dries up and she's audi.. her sex dries up and he's audi.. that is.. unless they have some other "relationship" between them that is strong enough to keep them together.. like a Parental-relationship.. or a Professional-relationship.. or an emotional-relationship.. in which case, they may each find other ways to satisfy the needs that are no longer being met through their relationship.

For example.. If she needs tenderness and you are no longer tender, she will either pout or find some way to compensate. like hating you.. or leaving you.. or hurting you the way she hurts... or maybe she'll recognize that most guys are tender in the beginning.. and so she'll continually search for beginnings.. where he's tender and attentive.. and when that phase passes, she bounces on to the next one.. trading her sex for his temporary tenderness.

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  I think the real problem in "relationships" today is that there is no courtship between the parties.  Making it no way for them to get know each other without sex being involved.  See?  The sexual revolution in the late 60s early 70s created a void socially for couples to determine if they wanted to be together or not after the initial "meet and greet" stage.  When courtship was CUT out of the scenario....and news came fast about how modern women were willing to engage in casual sex[as a result of the birth control pill]...many men felt they had died and went to sex without accountability HEAVEN.  

 

Three to four generations later....we have what we have now.  Which is online dating where people meet and without even fea-dipping each other and have unprotected sex sometimes the first day of introduction.  And often those unions produced unexpected children-making the man who didn't want to commit or have a family disappear from sight-leaving fatherless children in the mix.  

 

Now...I'm not taking away the parental responsibility of the woman-cuz she is in it too.  But all I am saying is there is no integrity. respect and dignity in relationships anymore.  People both men and women devalue themselves for the hidden goal:  SEX.  And sex today comes with so many unwanted consequences other than having children.  So I think even though we are considered high tech and advanced in our society...I truly think in terms of relationships between men and women...we have STEPPED back to primitive times-male neanderthal hit female neanderthal over the head and he drags her to the cave where they have sex,  He never greeted her or asked her...her  name.  All he did was "grunt" and took it whether she wanted it or not.  And the rest as they say?  Is history,  But!.  . .  

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