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quote:
Originally posted by Tre:
How about working on my first date--ever! sad bang


<---with that avatar? I 'on beleive it... Smile

Ok, I've been dating someone exclusively since late November, so I'm pretty much trump-tight on the dating thing vis-a-vis '07. (but of course, "dating" is an expansive term -- chillin' at the crib watching Sopranos can classify as a date sometimes.....)
quote:
Originally posted by Vox:
I'd say, Zakar, that a date is a planned meet-up between two people who have established that they are amorously interested in one another, the purpose of the meet-up being to further explore one another in the context of that mutual interest.

Given that, I guess I've been on two, with one person.


Awww dayum ... in that case, give me a calendar that dates back a couple of years ... I think I have to revise my answer! Eek Eek
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Well I've been a bit too long getting over the last "someone" - 11 months Roll Eyes - but today as I was driving home from drumming class and the sun was hot, a big blue sky, I [finally] thought "I want to start dating again..." and meant it.
Although I haven't met that new mr someone to go on a date with - yet. Smile

Outings yes, but no, no 'dates' so far in 2007. It'll happen when it's meant to - soon I hope! lol
.
quote:
I had my first and second dates of 2007. I am optomistic about these new guys. Now that January is over how did the year start off for you?


I haven't been on my first date of 2007 yet, but he DID ask me out for dinner last week. Smile We plan to go out sometime in the near future. I'm excited about this dinner invitation because I really like this man, although I wasn't expecting him to ask me out, I am pleasantly surprised.

My plan for 2007 was to have "SEX" ONCE MORE BEFORE I DIE, DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [just kiddin'] lol

'Dinner' is cool.Smile
I think that it is hard out here in the real world. I used to be a homebody but now, I have really started to keep my options open. I went to a great Super Bowl party last night in Harlem, and met a whole bunch of nice guys. What was so kool about it was that is was at an attorney's house and with a bunch of attorneys, cops and court personnel who were very down to earth looking just to have a good time. Space was limited so people were sitting on laps and laying on the floor together, it reminded me of being back in college, anyway I digress. Two guys asked for my number so I gave it to them. So February is looking promising as well. I am trying to keep my options open Firefly. tfro

Zakar, I respectfully disagree with my dear friend Vox's definition of dating. kiss I do not think that you can establish that you are romantically interested in a person until you actually go out on a few dates with that person.

You may be physically attracted to the person on sight and may even flirt like crazy with that person at social events or at work, but flirting and having a crush do not translate, at least for me, into the more substantive bond created by couples who have a genuine respect and affection for each other that goes to the core of their beings.

I have gone out on a ton of single dates because the guy and I were physically attracted to each other, but by the end of that date we each or one of us concluded that there was not romantic interest at all past the physical.

So, IMHO, if you go out more than once then you at least want to explore more of that romantic interest to see if there is chemistry. Sometimes you have chemistry and sometimes you don't.

To me dating relationships are made up of 4 elements: physical attraction[ you simply like looking at the other person], emotional attraction [ you want to touch and be touched by that person], mental or intellectual attraction [ you can talk to and share thoughts and ideas with that person and your conversations flow easily and flow from subject to subject and topic to topic easily ] chemistry [ that spark that that make the other person irresitable to you and you to them] and mutual respect for the person [ you are secure that your feelings are reciprocated and because of that mutuality you would suffer no harm to that person or the relationship both of which you value].

As you pass each of the elements you go to the next and the bond get deeper. Also just because I listed emotional second does it does not translate to sex, it could be something as simple as holding hands or kissing the other person.

I know if I am willing to have sex with a guy in less than five minutes of meeting him. I have said many times on this site that I would do Brad Pitt, Keith Hamilton Cobb, Jason Mamoa in a heart beat, but if I met any other them would I actually do it? Which is the ultimate question, will I actually have sex with him [ the man in my life] if given the opportunity. Sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes the answer is no, but the consistent foundation of that answer is what type of relationship to that man and I end up having.

Any body can have empty sex, with a stripper named Delicious, like my best friend's ex boyfriend once told me, the question is why.

Bottom line, I am looking forward to meeting the right man, and the only way to do it is via dating. I am hoping with my new attitude and friends who are just as fed up as I am with waiting on our African Warriors, that we will meet them soon. We are being Pro-Active. Hopefully I will get the chance to date at least one of the guys from last night. We shall see. Big Grin

Fabulous, thanks Girl, I feel you on the sex before I die, I would hate for the last guy I had sex with to be the last guy.
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quote:
Originally posted by Nikcara:
I think that it is hard out here in the real world. I used to be a homebody but now, I have really started to keep my options open. I went to a great Super Bowl party last night in Harlem, and met a whole bunch of nice guys. What was so kool about it was that is was at an attorney's house and with a bunch of attorneys, cops and court personnel who were very down to earth looking just to have a good time. Space was limited so people were sitting on laps and laying on the floor together, it reminded me of being back in college, anyway I digress. Two guys asked for my number so I gave it to them. So February is looking promising as well. I am trying to keep my options open Firefly. tfro


Sounds like fun!

quote:
Zakar, I respectfully disagree with my dear friend Vox's definition of dating. kiss I do not think that you can establish that you are romantically interested in a person until you actually go out on a few dates with that person.


Yes, but you're not going to go out on a date with somebody if there's no interest, or no potential interest. There is a difference between the person you go out on a date with and somebody you wouldn't consider going out with. Something in the nature of amorous interest is clearly going on. It doesn't mean you're crazy about the person, or in love or anything like that.

Other than that, I feel you on your whole post!

Oh, and EBONYROSE, do I have to broaden my definition of "date"?
quote:
Originally posted by Vox:
Oh, and EBONYROSE, do I have to broaden my definition of "date"?


LOL ...

Well, yeah, Vox! If you could kinda reshape it to something like, basketball game and a beer ... or getting one's grub on at a BBQ or picnic or somethin' ... I might be better able to fit it into the realm of this discussion! Big Grin
laugh
quote:
Originally posted by EbonyRose:
quote:
Originally posted by Vox:
Oh, and EBONYROSE, do I have to broaden my definition of "date"?


LOL ...

Well, yeah, Vox! If you could kinda reshape it to something like, basketball game and a beer ... or getting one's grub on at a BBQ or picnic or somethin' ... I might be better able to fit it into the realm of this discussion! Big Grin
laugh


During a "24" commercial break...

Okay, Ebony, what about your description can't fall into "a planned meet-up between two people who have established that they are amorously interested in one another, the purpose of the meet-up being to further explore one another in the context of that mutual interest?"

My definition doesn't specify the activity... as long as the basketball game and beer are with someone that you may be interested in, why can't that be a date as per that definition?
quote:
Originally posted by Vox:
My definition doesn't specify the activity... as long as the basketball game and beer are with someone that you may be interested in, why can't that be a date as per that definition?


Well, Vox, yes ... technically, it could! Smile

And not that those wouldn't be great dates ... but, would it still count if: the cost of mid-court seats are expensive! Wink Big Grin ... and/or ... I really like to eat .. and BBQ is the bomb!!??!! Big Grin

If so, I'm covered. laugh
Okay, Vox ... lol!!

I guess it's all good, then! flowers

However, I'm inclined to understand Nikcara's point about dates. Sometimes they are not necessarily with someone you (or rather I) have an interest in. Sometimes they are just more like "outings."

Case in point ... the basketball "date" I was referring to was actually a combination of what you both are saying. He was more interested in me than I was in him, as far as an eventual "hook-up" was concerned. I had told him it (a relationship between us) probably wasn't going there for me since I wasn't in that frame of mind at the time ... his plan was more or less to change my mind. Smile

He had mid-court seats to a Rockets game, which I think he knew was an offer I couldn't (wasn't going to) refuse! Eek So he invited me, we went, we had fun ... he still calls from time to time, but has accepted that we are just friends.

So ... was I on a date or not?? sck
Well now I am on my third date and Firefly, this is the third guy. I guess I am surprised because I went on very few dates last year. Sad but true, my social life was great last year, I did a lot of skiing, hanging out and partying with friends, just nothing romantic that was worth anything. This new guy, #3 is sweet and kind, a total gentleman, hat his mama raised him well. He's the strong silent type, which is different from me since I talk all the time. He is one of the guys asked for my # at the Super Bowl party. And of the two guys who asked for my number he was not the one I expected to call, and just so we are clear, I only give my number to men who I want to call.

My only issue, and I guess is should not be a problem for me since he is ok with it but he is eight years younger than me. Now my boys have told me I am jumping in the cradle but when they date women who are 10 and 20 years younger, I have one friend dating a chic is 21 to his 41, I don't think I am that off.

I don't know where this one is going, but I am taking it slow and #1 and #2 are still in the race but at some point I think it will get confusing. But today, I revel in this new dating world, I wish I had done this last year but new decade new Nikcara girl

EbonyRose, I would not call that a date, I would call that a hope. flowers He hoped you would change your mind and you did not. Sometime you take a chance, and live to have no regrets.

Sounds like you told him up front, did not send mixed signals and later suggest that you hook up because hey your both there at the time. Sexual tension is sometimes good in male/female friendships, but ultimately respecting your friend and his feelings is the real mark of a friendship which is why he still calls. hug
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quote:
Well now I am on my third date and Firefly, this is the third guy.


Are you trying to make me jealous 6 Nikcara? Big Grin
Heck I am! lol

A word of advice from an older, if maybe not wiser 8 friend... don't worry a toss about the age difference if it "feels right", he is intelligent, and you have lots in common. See where it goes... I had a 17 yrs of bliss [marriage] with a beautiful man 8yrs younger than me. There are always issues but they were not to do with 'the age difference'. Wink Enjoy!

quote:
#1 and #2 are still in the race but at some point I think it will get confusing

laugh

quote:
But today, I revel in this new dating world, I wish I had done this last year but new decade new Nikcara...

yeah go gurl! tfro
19 will there be a #4?
quote:
Originally posted by Nikcara:
EbonyRose, I would not call that a date, I would call that a hope. flowers He hoped you would change your mind and you did not. Sometime you take a chance, and live to have no regrets.

Sounds like you told him up front, did not send mixed signals and later suggest that you hook up because hey your both there at the time. Sexual tension is sometimes good in male/female friendships, but ultimately respecting your friend and his feelings is the real mark of a friendship which is why he still calls. hug


See, that's what I thought too, Nikcara!! It wasn't really a "date." But, if Vox wants to call it one, that's cool ... it'll make my stats look better! Razz

And yes, I'm involved in a rather "unconventional" (though some call it down right strange) type of relationship and even though it looks non-existent, it is there! Smile So I do tell men I meet upfront what they're dealing with. Of course, many want to change my mind and make one of those "a planned meet-up between two people who have established that they are amorously interested in one another, the purpose of the meet-up being to further explore one another in the context of that mutual interest?" that Vox is talking about.

But if/when I do go, it turns out to be more of an "outing" and I have ended up with a couple of good friends out of! Smile Others tend to get pissed off and I never hear from them again. sck
quote:
Originally posted by Kweli4Real:
Just curious ... Has the other guy from the superbowl party called?


Not as yet, and yes I am disappointed because he was the guy I expected to call based on his behavior. 14 He and I have more in common, we were born in the same year, I am older by six months. He is more like the guys I have dated in the past, chrasmatic...energetic... life of the party. As to #3, sometimes the silent ones shock you. Wink But I have to say when I have dated quiet guys, I end up listening to the sound of my own voice doing all the talking and that is not fun. Perhaps he will talk more on our second date but he even admitted he does not talk much. I am caustiously optomistic about 1,2 & 3. #2 asked me out the other day for Saturday. We have not gone out since Jauary but have talked often enough on the phone. Don't hate Firefly, 6 enjoy with me! cabbage
quote:
Originally posted by Nikcara:
Don't hate Firefly, 6 enjoy with me! cabbage

Eek no gurl, you got me wrong Big Grin I was having a laugh at myself and 6 was a joke! Wink Like I said... go gurl! No hating goin' on here. kiss
Valentine's Day is looking pretty busy for you. Smile

In fact, I'm considering skyping you to get some tips! laugh

I sometimes forget that outside of Australia, sarcasm is seen as a crime and self-deprecating humour is misunderstood! Big Grin Wink Sarcasm is a national pastime in Australia - like sport! No matter what your culture, if you live here, you embrace it. Big Grin
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quote:
Originally posted by FireFly:
no gurl, you got me wrong Big Grin I was having a laugh at myself and 6 was a joke! Wink Like I said... go gurl! No hating goin' on here. kiss
Valentine's Day is looking pretty busy for you. Smile

In fact, I'm considering skyping you to get some tips! laugh

I sometimes forget that outside of Australia, sarcasm is seen as a crime and self-deprecating humour is misunderstood! Big Grin Wink Sarcasm is a national pastime in Australia - like sport! No matter what your culture, if you live here, you embrace it. Big Grin


Firefly, I never thought you were really hating, it is just an expression, I appreciate your sarcasm Mate. beer

I guess saying don't hate sounds different online than in person, but I totally understood what you meant. Big Grin

And I gotta tell you, Valentine's day has never looked so promising but I still remember the year that I had a boyfriend all the way up to Feb 12, which was a thursday, we were suppose to go to AC [Atlantic City] for the weekend on the 14 at Saturday. We went to dinner at TGI Fridays on Friday the 13th and before midnight we broke up. That was not too long ago and I still remember soooooo Valentine's Day, well we shall see. Big Grin
quote:
Originally posted by Nikcara:
... And I gotta tell you, Valentine's day has never looked so promising but I still remember the year that I had a boyfriend all the way up to Feb 12, which was a thursday, we were suppose to go to AC [Atlantic City] for the weekend on the 14 at Saturday. We went to dinner at TGI Fridays on Friday the 13th and before midnight we broke up. That was not too long ago and I still remember soooooo Valentine's Day, well we shall see. Big Grin
Did he try to make up on the 15th?
quote:
Originally posted by AudioGuy:
Did he try to make up on the 15th?


No, it was not until he needed a ride to go pick up his motorcycle and "can I get a ride none of my boys can do it". Then it was a half ass come back and then it was over. He got married last year and still calls, so I say when ever he does I say when are you and "Jackie" having that baby, get to steppin. Then he does not want to talk much after that, so the calls are slowly trickling away. I think he's gotten the hint, she is the one he picked so she is the one he needs to talk to, not me.
Well Valentine's day has come and gone. What did everyone receive? I received- a e-card and phone call from #3, hat a real card from my mom and flowers from a former client saying that now that he is divorced he can now find true love thanks to my dilgent efforts as his attorney, just letting me know when he is next engaged he will have me write the pre-nup. #1 and #2 were no shows or calls on Valentine's Day. So in the word of Hedi Klum, "Yur Owut" laugh Going out again tonight, looking for #4. girl

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