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I have a personal issue that I would like your advice/opinion on.

Background: I work in a small IT department and the only Black. There are 4 of us. I have been with this company over 10 years. Recently, my fellow employee with the least time, puts in for vacation the day after Xmas. In our department that's a big deal so we decided to take turns between only 2 of us because the other person is part-time and can only work according to their spouses schedule and of course the boss takes the time off.

Well, I worked it last year so I made plans to have it off. The boss sends out an email stating that, lets call him Joe Smoe, wants to take 12/26 and 12/27 off. So, I send an email to everyone involved stating I had worked it last year and I would prefer not to work it this year. In turn the boss replies to everyone, that I am right and I can have it off. Well, Joe Smoe sends an email stating he wanted to know when everyone was gong to be off so he can plan accordingly. Then he sends another email stating,"After this, I expect it to be dropped. I have no problem working this Christmas , but since we are counting, this makes 3 out of the last 4 that I have worked."
But then, he quit speaking to everyone in the department. The boss talked to him so he then would only speak to her. She approached him again and ask if he was holding a grudge, he said no. Then she calls me and him in for a meeting. I ask the question, what is your complaint that has resulted in you not speaking unless it pertains to work. I believe he pulled this out of his ass, "I'm mad because 2 years ago I said I would work the day after Xmas because my wife was expecting a baby and I wanted to hold on to my vacation time and I wanted you to remember this 2 years from now. I was anger when you didn't remember." My position is, "I don't believe I made such an agreement with you 2 years ago."
Oh and get this, he had a free vacation for 12/26 and 12/27 and he cancelled it when I sent my email response. My response was, he should have said something to us and maybe we could have worked it out. I am so angry about how this was handled because it effects our department as a whole and I believe the part-time person should've been there because they are experiencing the same thing from this person. He has stated we are not friends and he doesn't plan to be friendly. He will do no more than be cordial and converse about work. Sooo unprofessional!!
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Okay .. this is totally the wrong advice, but ...

You should stick a baby bottle in dude's stocking and tell him to get a grip and get over it!! Eek Big Grin

Other than that, it sounds like is attitude is going to prevent him from being in any way reasonable about this, so just know that it's not you, stay cool with the others in your group, and hope Mr. Smoe grows up for the new year!

And most of all ... enjoy your days off! Smile
Sister Diamond, work is stressful enough. We don't need to make our work more stressful by maintaining poor relationships with our colleagues. To repair your relationship with this co-worker, start by acknowledging his feelings about what occured. Whether or not you believe his feelings are valid is unimportant. Each of us is sensitive about something. Unless I've read the scenerio incorrectly, it's not that the co-worker was unable to take off when he wanted that's bothering him. What bothers him is that no one showed any concern for the circumstances that prevented him from taking time off. So to mend the relationship, why not acknowledge his feelings, apologize for any misunderstanding (and hope that he will do the same) so that the two of you can move on past this and get on with your lives?

I hope everything works out for you sister.
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quote:
"I'm mad because 2 years ago I said I would work the day after Xmas because my wife was expecting a baby and I wanted to hold on to my vacation time and I wanted you to remember this 2 years from now. I was anger when you didn't remember."


sck fantasy man. Big Grin
If it was that important why didn't he take steps to keep reminding everyone way before this?
In a lot of companies the same people might not even be there 2 years later!

Rowe is correct, it's essential to maintain good relationships with co-workers even if they behave like children or psychopaths.... the workplace throws so many different personalities together, lol.
daz
Rowe, you are right. I was the first in the meeting to state that "he" has a complaint and obviously from his actions(not speaking to anyone in the department) feel he is not being treated fairly. And, I looked him in the eye and stated, "what is your complaint because we don't have a clue." Since the meeting, I have moved on but in my mind he is a TRUE A**HOLE. And thank you for letting me vent.
Sorry, I haven't worked with an "A**HOLE" in a longgg time and was taken by surprise.
quote:
Originally posted by Diamond:
Rowe, you are right. I was the first in the meeting to state that "he" has a complaint and obviously from his actions(not speaking to anyone in the department) feel he is not being treated fairly. And, I looked him in the eye and stated, "what is your complaint because we don't have a clue." Since the meeting, I have moved on but in my mind he is a TRUE A**HOLE. And thank you for letting me vent. Sorry, I haven't worked with an "A**HOLE" in a longgg time and was taken by surprise.


Sister, is that the way you approached him??? I probably would have been an asshole too if someone came at me like that. Dude was probably on the defensive right from the jump because you're talking to him like he's the only one with the problem and you had better get an explanation for "his" problem. A problem can't get solved, however, if no one is willing to acknolwedge how they may have contributed to a problem, or at least made the problem worse. I couldn't work well in an environment with that kind of intense drama. That's messed up. I mean, with family members, you can at least send them on their way home when some drama kicks off. But you can't do that with co-workers because they work there too.

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