Hello,

In 2002, I dated a male co-worker of mine. Things didn't work out between us and it ended on a sour note. That same year, he got laid off from the job. I didn't see or hear from him in 2003. In March of 2004, he came back to the job as a temp. He's been at the job ever since. On two separate ocassions, he tried to talk to me but I refused to talk to him and ignored him big time. I completely shut down on him. He's a mean-spirited person and not someone I would want in my circle. Two months after he came back to the job, he would call me without saying anything and hang up the phone. Most of the calls take place before I arrive at work or when I'm away from my desk. On one ocassion, I picked up the phone and he hung up on me. I have voicemail so I get a lot of hang ups on my phone. Sometimes I get two calls in one day. I never got these calls until he came back. This only happens at work. He never had my home telephone number and he never calls me on my cell phone. I don't even know if he still has my cell phone. I don't have caller ID at work nor can I do *69. I feel as though I'm being harassed even though he never says anything when he makes the calls. This has been going on for the past seven months. I wonder will he ever stop. I just want your feed back. Even though he never says anything, I know it's him because my family are the only ones who call me and my two girlfriends. I don't socialize with my co-workers only if it's about the work. I am basically a quiet person who keeps to herself. When I dated this man at work, he didn't want a serious relationship and he rarely ever called me. He sounds like he's not wrapped too tight or confused. Never mix business with pleasure.

Precious Diamond
Original Post
PD,

the way I see it you can handle it one of 2 ways:

    1. confront him and say "...look, I know it's you that has been calling me, why don't you be a man and grow up...". I caution you because he may be looking to illicit a response from you, so use as little emotion as possible and show him that he has not gotten to you. Don't get caught up, raise your voice, grit you teeth, etc - you may even want to "say it with a smile". If you challenge his manhood he may stop and think.

    2. Talk to your supervisor, this may be something that can be traced through some other means that you are unaware of - of course you do not have to give the details other than the fact that you are receiving prank calls.


Just so you know, I am not a professional, so my advice should not be taken as such.

I don't know what your religious/spiritual beliefs are, but I believe that everything you do comes back to you... so he will have his coming to him.

Good luck my sister.
I suggest you go to Human Resources just in case he is wrapped even looser than you think!

Confronting him should only be done after letting HR know what's up, because otherwise he could flip it and say you are harrassing him because you approached him about it. I've seen that happen. Be careful.
Not trying to sound alarmist, but with the rising incidence of workplace violence, you should contact your HR Dept. immediately!

If you don't want to directly get the guy in trouble, tell HR that you are worried because you are getting these hang-ups and don't know the source. They will install a phone trap and the culprit will be dealt with.

Also, after going to HR, you should tell someone else. It probably would be best to: in the next staff meeting say, "Has anybody notice anything weird going on with the phones? I've been getting some hang-ups. Is anybody else?" This puts your supervisor on notice and if the guy is in the meeting, it'll let him know that you are making an issue of it, without directly confronting him.

Whatever you do, DO NOT confront this guy!
Having just gone through a Supervisors course put on by our HR people, you need to report this at once to your immediate supervisor and fully explain your concern about what is happening. Be prepared to provide supporting evidence that he is the one making the calls, if your supervisor doesn't take steps to change the behavior then go up the line to your HR personnel and express your concern.

Bottom line you are fast becoming the victim of a hostile work environment not defined by what this person thinks he is doing but how you feel and how his actions are affecting your ability to do your job. I would stress that his actions have made the simple task of answering your phone something that you dread because you don't know what to expect when you pick up the phone, that fear or aniexty is interfering with you doing your job.

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