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Hair snobs

ladyjladyjC4
i am a woman with locs that also wears weaves once in awhile. i am starting to notice how blk women tend to treat me differently depending on the hair on my head.
i wonder why blk women with natural hair act like they are better than blk women with a relaxer or weave?
i went to work with my curly short weave and some natural ladies wouldnt even speak to me unless i approached them first. then the weave wearers all of a sudden paid attention to me.
is there a hair war going on and i missed the memo?Confused

are you a hair snob?
do you pick your friends based on hair styles?
do all or most of your friends have the same type of hair? (exp. all natural or all have wash and sets)
do you find yourself making assumptions on females based on their hair?
weave= materialistic, gold gigger, high maintenance
straight hair= wants to be YT, easy going, not as high maintence
natural= afrocentric,vegan, socially conscious fro

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Oshun AusetOshun AusetA1
Personally, I would be confused if I saw a sister with locs or a natural one day, and a weave the next, and then a natual again. I wouldn't look down on her, I would just ask her 'why'... if the reasoning behind her 'back and forth' hair style wasn't logical, then I'd be nice, but I doubt if a close friendship would develop.

I'm not a hair snob, but I do think that hair is a political statement(or should be since we live in a world controlled by white supremacy)

I've known folks who had naturals/locs because they just got tired of paying for the hair shop or perming ect. and only saw it as a 'style'; so a natural/locks doesn't mean we are gonna be cool right away either. Some folk grow locs because they see it as the fastest way to have long hair(a questionable motive).

Most of my friends have naturals but that is because my friends are people I share similar politial, spiritual, cultural, worldviews with. I can't really hang with folks who don't understand how white supremacy and/or cultural imperialism (the EUropean beauty standard in this case)functions. If it's been discussed and the person chooses to ignore it as a factor that is going to highly limit our conversations and social interactions. Reguardless, character is the most important factor. You can play 'African centered dress up' all day, if you aren't a nice person....you 'gotta go.

BTW, yes, we are at war, the beauty standard(hair issue) is just one of the psychological fronts(this battle is and internal one). We are not at war with each other though, we have a commen oppressor/exploiter/enemy.
O OhBlackButterflyA1
quote:
Originally posted by ladyj:
weave= materialistic, gold gigger, high maintenance
straight hair= wants to be YT, easy going, not as high maintence
natutal= afrocentric,vegean, socially conscious fro

[/color]


~Good questions, Lady. I think we do jump to conclusions based on our appearance, and that includes hair styles. In the case of black women, it can become a matter of hair-statement, though. Another one of our many issues....*sigh*

When I see a natural style on a black woman, I tend to think: She's afrocentric, down to earth, prideful, assertive, strong, independent, non-conforming, an initiator. But, I wouldn't take my "judgements" or assumptions any further than that. It's an impression (image) and it doesn't have to be any more than that.

Say... 19, what of black women who wear natural styles (fro, locs) but they DYE their hair gold/bronz/blonde/fire-red? They all look FABULOUS --- I like the look ---- but what statement are they making? Are they making "half" a statement?

When I see a black woman who straightens, perms, relaxes her hair, that's not enough information for me to glean anything at all from, and I wouldn't even try. I'd have to move on to something else about her "appearance".

When I see a woman with unkempt hair, well, that speaks for itself. No, I take that back. I take issue with that, actually. They're mostly women who would otherwise have their hair coiffed perfectly, but on day-before-hair-appointment, they look like 'who did it and what for'. They won't even TRY to do their own hair. They'd rather wear a baseball cap or a scarf than put their hair in a ponytail or a bun. It's either hi-glam, or I-don't-care --- and no middle ground with them. What's up with that?

I'm a relaxer gal, by the way. For me, it's easier maintenance and I'm all about that. I wouldn't fight with my hair in it's natural state if you paid me, nor would I cut it off (which is also un-natural, right?) just to make it easier to handle in its natural state. I do my hair in 90 seconds or less every morning, 20 minutes when I wash it. I could NOT do that if it was "natural". And natural is relative to AA women anyway, isn't it? One person's natural is carefree, another person's natural is absolutely frustrating, depending on what exactly is in your AA genes, no?~
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RoweRoweA1
quote:
Originally posted by ladyj:
[color:BLUE]i am a woman with locs that also wears weaves once in awhile. i am starting to notice how blk women tend to treat me differently depending on the hair on my head.


To their credit, it's only natural for us to find ourselves drawn to people with whom we feel we may have a lot in common. When you wear your hair straight, sisters who wear their hair straight are going to compliment you, because that's the way that they like to wear their hair. The same would apply to those wearing natural hairstyles. However, I believe somen women are fashion and style chameleons. They change their hair styles as often as they change their wardrobes. To these women, a hairstyle doesn't have to be a permanent fixture. Rather, a hairstyle can be a varying accessory.
RoweRoweA1
quote:
Originally posted by Akeyza27:
Well i have a friend who does the same thing LadyJ , She have locs but she too like to dress up wearing a weave once in awhile,however i look at like this its your hair! You do what you please with it .


Sister Akeyza, just for the sake of argument, what would you say to those women who say that if you don't wear your hair natural, then your allegiance to your Black and/or African identity is weak? Do you have an opinion about this?
RoweRoweA1
quote:
Originally posted by Santana St. Cloud:
I'm not a hair snob. Heck, fried, dyed, laid to the side...if it looks healthy, and is styled nicely, more power to her!

On a personal note. I wore a natural for six years, locks for 7 1/2, and have been natural again for three years. I don't see straightened hair in my immediate future.


I agree with Sister Santana on this one. I try not to judge people based on their hairstyles, because these days you never know for what reason someone chooses to wear their hair.
KocoliciousKocoliciousA1
fro I'm not a "hair" person. Not even as a little girl. I HATED to get my HAIR done. However, as a young teen I wore a perm not by choice...BY my mom. Once I became a young adult I wore my hair close to my head-very very short. For over 10 years. Then went to braids.....twists....locs....nearly shaved off....[my husband almost had a stroke!]....back to low to my head. I change my hair every season....and sometimes twice in one season. My hair grows long and thick. And it's very difficult to manage cuz I'm an athlete and run at least 30-35 miles per wk. So I've always kept it short...a few times in my life I actually let it grow. Once as a natural...big and puffy. Another time...afro puffs ['member? 10] Hey I used to wear my hair in the popcorn style. Wow! And the finger wave.... In fact, as I think about it, I've had some CRAZY hairdos in my day.Big Grin Good topic. fro
ladyjladyjC4
i wear my locs because i dont want a relaxer .its not good for my hair. my hair always locks on its own after a wash so i just decided to let it do its thing.
my hair is not a political statement and im not at war with straight haired blk women.
i like versatility. sometimes i want my hairstyle to match my mood or new outfits.

i dont get that just because i am a blk woman i have to limit my hairstyles. every other race gets to do what they want. im surely just as good if not better than a chinese girl who wants braids, so why cant i have choices too?

i just dont get that blk women have to be in some sort of box.... that i am good enough to be your friend when im sporting my locs but not when i got the wet and wavy.

im the type of chick that im going to start calling some blk women out on their foolishness. 6
Santana St. CloudSantana St. CloudA1
quote:
Originally posted by Rowe:

I try not to judge people based on their hairstyles, because these days you never know for what reason someone chooses to wear their hair.


Word.

Besides, who's to say that the sister with the press-n-curl on Monday, won't be rockin' a 'fro on Tuesday?

Gotta wonder, though. What's up with sisters who get really ambitious with their do' and try to wear, like, five hairstyles at once? Confused
KocoliciousKocoliciousA1
fro There's a book called "400 Years Without a Comb." It is very profound. And talks about how difficult it was for African women when they came to this country. It is a very GOOD book. It also has a historical look at the different combs/hair tools used in Africa along with the fabulous and incredible hairstyles. Our history in this country regarding "hair" has been an unhealthy one cuz for YEARS we really didn't know how to manage our hair[and were no products until Madame Walker]....but not knowing how was one of the reaons why slaves wore head scarves. Cuz there were no elderly person to tell us otherwise. . And those young enough to remember how didn't have the tools to do it...plus MASSA made sure slaves didn't bathe as much unless they were inside their home working...so hair didn't get wash...plus it stayed tangled and matted. Or they wore it twisted with rags. The only example slaves had regarding "hair" was massa and miss ann....even though CLEARLY the hair was different. And so as a result of massa raping african women and from the children produced....this hair thang went out of the window...when these children were born with SO-CALLED "good hair"-a texture of hair that somewhat represented massa's hair. And it's been on ever since. Blackfolks judge other blackfolks by the texture of their hair...in terms of worth/clique/acceptance. Sooooo sad. I'm glad nowadays there are choices for Black women. And also that we recognized that we can DO a VARIETY of things with our hair. But this SICK stigma of good hair/bad hair still exist. I guess that's why deep down inside I never cared too much about hair. It was a non issue for me. But! Not my mother. She used to chase me BIG time[I was tomboy back then] with that straighten comb in her hands. could. never. catch melol although I had to come home eventuallyBig Grin fro
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ladyjladyjC4
quote:
Originally posted by Kocolicious:
fro There's a book called "400 Years Without a Comb." It is very profound. And talks about how difficult it was for African women when they came to this country. It is a very GOOD book. It also has a historical look at the different combs/hair tools used in Africa along with the fabulous and incredible hairstyles.


i would love to read that book. i gotta go look for it.
Akeyza27Akeyza27C1
quote:
Originally posted by Rowe:
quote:
Originally posted by Akeyza27:
Well i have a friend who does the same thing LadyJ , She have locs but she too like to dress up wearing a weave once in awhile,however i look at like this its your hair! You do what you please with it .


Sister Akeyza, just for the sake of argument, what would you say to those women who say that if you don't wear your hair natural, then your allegiance to your Black and/or African identity is weak? Do you have an opinion about this?


Your hair is your Glory! My Hair is natural and i love to wear braids every day all day! That was just how i was brought up, nothing but braids,however
I dont think that you are allegiance to your Black and /or African identity,ITS your hair, its what you were born in the world with. I do agree with you...
" I believe somen women are fashion and style chameleons. They change their hair styles as often as they change their wardrobes" TO EACH is OWN! Smile
Oshun AusetOshun AusetA1
quote:
Originally posted by Khalliqa:
I am hesitant to answer this because of my wariness with participating in threads by new members from "another board" who carefully start (or gravitate towards) controversial threads regarding black people with supporters from their group donning names like "Suz"....



but I would like to say this:

In a society where the antithesis of beauty is a dark skinned kinky haired black woman, the very act of a black woman embracing her natural beauty becomes a statement whether she promotes her actions as such or not....


But one cannot get to the "flexible styling" stage without having internally embraced their black characteristics first...

some women see their hair as just an accessaory but they do not go through the stage of appreciating their hair... and what appreciating who and what they are in the context of this society's overt and covert messages mean... these things seem to mean nothing to them which means that they are more fixated on fashion diversity than the conscious and subconscious degrading messages that society sends...

this is not a stage of growth, just a distraction it is not a higher reality....

it is only a higher reality for the sister that consciously is aware of and goes against the grain of the negative messages society sends about the quality of her beauty.... once she has embraced herself on this level... she may continue to enjoy her characteristics or she may play with them....

this woman is not like the former...

but in a vain overly shallow culture like this one the former is more prevalent than the latter.....


there is no equating the two mentalities......


If a woman is justifying ignoring social realities as insignificant or a lower priority than fashion diversity, this position can not be respected..... ceasing to go along with this reasoning is not being a hair snob... just someone who is not going for the okey doke....


appl tfro
O OhBlackButterflyA1
quote:
Originally posted by Oshun Auset:
quote:
Originally posted by Khalliqa:
I am hesitant to answer this because of my wariness with participating in threads by new members from "another board" who carefully start (or gravitate towards) controversial threads regarding black people with supporters from their group donning names like "Suz"....



~ munch..... munch..... munch......Wow. That's unfortunate. And sounds pretty snobbish, too. It just sounds nasal-decongestion-ish, stiff-necked, white-glove-test, high-collar-heavy-on-the-starch, hoity-toity to me. *shrug* munch~



but I would like to say this:

In a society where the antithesis of beauty is a dark skinned kinky haired black woman, the very act of a black woman embracing her natural beauty becomes a statement whether she promotes her actions as such or not....



~ munchMakes sense. munch~



But one cannot get to the "flexible styling" stage without having internally embraced their black characteristics first...



~ munchWhat do you mean? Like a graduation and self-reward program? munch~



some women see their hair as just an accessaory but they do not go through the stage of appreciating their hair... and what appreciating who and what they are in the context of this society's overt and covert messages mean... these things seem to mean nothing to them which means that they are more fixated on fashion diversity than the conscious and subconscious degrading messages that society sends...



~ munchOkay. I hear the PC in what you're saying, but how in the world do you know this about the woman unless she tells you or wears a t-shirt stating that, [B]"It's okay. I can wear this weave today. I've aready done my Internal Embracing stages and I'm now in the Reward stage. Keep it movin' on to the next contestant, please!" ? munch~



this is not a stage of growth, just a distraction it is not a higher reality....
it is only a higher reality for the sister that consciously is aware of and goes against the grain of the negative messages society sends about the quality of her beauty.... once she has embraced herself on this level... she may continue to enjoy her characteristics or she may play with them....
this woman is not like the former...
but in a vain overly shallow culture like this one the former is more prevalent than the latter.....



~ munchAgain, how do you discern that? How do you know which woman --- the former or the latter ---- is which? The one that you may think hasn't gone through her "appreciating stages" could very well have, and the one that you're congratulating probably hasn't, but she's okay regardless because she's making a PC statement whether or not she intended to or had put a nano-second of deep thought into it? Is that fair? munch~



there is no equating the two mentalities......
If a woman is justifying ignoring social realities as insignificant or a lower priority than fashion diversity, this position can not be respected.....


~ munchOkay. IF she's doing that. But, that is not at all as easy to determine as it is with....say a woman who has obviously had breast implants because she has conformed to THAT particular set standard of beauty and attractiveness. Implants can be spotted a mile away. But, even then, you don't know if she's a shallow conformist or a former breast cancer patient/survivor. We can't possibly know who has given such a deep level of internal thought to their style and who has not. So that makes your point (though a good one) mute. I mean, it's halfway valid in terms of personal and inwardly SELF evaluation, but it amounts to nothing as far as determining who to give our respect, kudos, props, and dap to, and whom not to give it to, imo. munch~



ceasing to go along with this reasoning is not being a hair snob... just someone who is not going for the okey doke....[/b]


appl tfro




~ munchYeah... munch..... munch.... but you'd also have to wear THAT particular t-shirt wouldn't you ("I Don't Go For The OkeDoke") in order for someone to even know that about you, right? Or is it very obvious upon the mere sight of you that you yourself have already gone through the appreciating stages and are now "free to play" with your style and that you are not to be confused with the "other women" who rock a natural just because it's cute, with nary a thought to African heritage beyond the confines of the month of February? I mean, if you keep your discernments/judments to yourself, there's probably no harm done...but will your "findings" determine how you relate "outwardly" towards the person that you deem hasn't achieved the proper level? Do you think that the person will pick up a negative vibe from you? Will you be perceived as a snob, even though you aren't?...munch~
ladyjladyjC4
quote:
Originally posted by Khalliqa:
I am hesitant to answer this because of my wariness with participating in threads by new members from "another board" who carefully start (or gravitate towards) controversial threads regarding black people with supporters from their group donning names like "Suz"....
....

oh-k.
that word " carefully " is so loaded im not even going to address that and start an argument.
is wasnt my intent for this thread to be controversial. it was just an observation i had from my own personal experience. next time ill ask you what type of threads are appropriate for new members to post or what names we should use. Roll Eyes

quote:
Originally posted by Khalliqa:
but I would like to say this:

In a society where the antithesis of beauty is a dark skinned kinky haired black woman, the very act of a black woman embracing her natural beauty becomes a statement whether she promotes her actions as such or not....


But one cannot get to the "flexible styling" stage without having internally embraced their black characteristics first...



i dont think anyone can know whats in my mind and what blk characterists i have embraced by looking at my hair and not getting to know me.

that is snobbish. IMO
fro
I_am_MahoganyI_am_MahoganyA1
quote:
Originally posted by ladyj:
i am a woman with locs that also wears weaves once in awhile. i am starting to notice how blk women tend to treat me differently depending on the hair on my head.
i wonder why blk women with natural hair act like they are better than blk women with a relaxer or weave?
i went to work with my curly short weave and some natural ladies wouldnt even speak to me unless i approached them first. then the weave wearers all of a sudden paid attention to me.
is there a hair war going on and i missed the memo?Confused

are you a hair snob?
do you pick your friends based on hair styles?
do all or most of your friends have the same type of hair? (exp. all natural or all have wash and sets)
do you find yourself making assumptions on females based on their hair?
weave= materialistic, gold gigger, high maintenance
straight hair= wants to be YT, easy going, not as high maintence
natural= afrocentric,vegan, socially conscious fro


Hair and skin-complexion are two topics that are better left unwritten about. For reasons I'll never understand, these topics divide sistas more than they bring any type of understanding.

I have known of "hair snobs" on both ends of the spectrum. I know sistas with relaxed hair that wouldn't dream of going natural and I have come across natural sistas who are convinced that all Black women who straighten their hair are trying to "look white".

Personally, I say to each her own. I respect the fact that some women are passionate about their hair, but for me, it's not that serious.
RoweRoweA1
Less Judgement, More Understanding

I think Black women should stop being so judgemental of one another, period. It seems no matter how a Black woman wears her hair, someone always has something to say. We need to realize that not every Black woman has the strength and confidence to wear her natural, even if she knows it is the style choice that is healthier for her hair.

Those who have long since worn their hair natural might be asking themselves, "Why don't these women just 'get over it' and do what is right?" They've forgotten about how painful the entire process and transition was for them, which makes it so easy for them to judge. I've mentioned this before in past discussions that we've had about natural hair, but years ago, when I worked in a natural hair-care salon, I witnessed women become very concerned about the thought of growing out their relaxer. Typically, they had fears about being judged by their friends, boyfriends, or husbands for having "nappy hair", especially if they had very tight curly hair. Their greatest fear was that their boyfriends or husbands, who they dearly loved, would no longer find them attractive and would eventually leave them because natural hair was not something that they could grow accostum to seeing. It was a very emotional process for everyone. And so, as a natural hair-care stylist, one has to be both a stylist and counselor.

We all need to realize that it takes most Black women years to eventually come around and grow into their appreciation for their natural hair. Some may never reach this stage, because psychologically, it is just too overwhelming to manage not only a changed hairstyle, but also a dramtically changed lifestyle. So we need to exercise a little less judgement, and a lot more understanding. Smile
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tru2urself16tru2urself16A1
quote:
Originally posted by I_am_Mahogany:
quote:
Originally posted by ladyj:
i am a woman with locs that also wears weaves once in awhile. i am starting to notice how blk women tend to treat me differently depending on the hair on my head.
i wonder why blk women with natural hair act like they are better than blk women with a relaxer or weave?
i went to work with my curly short weave and some natural ladies wouldnt even speak to me unless i approached them first. then the weave wearers all of a sudden paid attention to me.
is there a hair war going on and i missed the memo?Confused

are you a hair snob?
do you pick your friends based on hair styles?
do all or most of your friends have the same type of hair? (exp. all natural or all have wash and sets)
do you find yourself making assumptions on females based on their hair?
weave= materialistic, gold gigger, high maintenance
straight hair= wants to be YT, easy going, not as high maintence
natural= afrocentric,vegan, socially conscious fro


Hair and skin-complexion are two topics that are better left unwritten about. For reasons I'll never understand, these topics divide sistas more than they bring any type of understanding.

I have known of "hair snobs" on both ends of the spectrum. I know sistas with relaxed hair that wouldn't dream of going natural and I have come across natural sistas who are convinced that all Black women who straighten their hair are trying to "look white".

Personally, I say to each her own. I respect the fact that some women are passionate about their hair, but for me, it's not that serious.


appl tfro I agree so very much. tfro appl

I myself, used to where a perm all the time as a teenager and it was mostly due to the fact that everyone else had one and I thought that it made my hair easier to deal with. But for the last four or five years I've been rocking my natural hair. The only reason I went natural at first is because I had a bad experience with a perm, it broke all my hair out on the sides and in the back. The reason I have stayed natural is because I like it, my hair is so much more healthier than I thought it was. Now in truth, I don't really care how other women wear their hair because it does not affect me or my life. I love to see a woman with her natural hair walking down the street owning it, just as much as a woman with a silky straight weave. What's that saying...something about clothes making the man? Well, anyway the HAIR doesn't make the woman...her actions and beilefs do.
Oshun AusetOshun AusetA1
quote:
Originally posted by Khalliqa:
Being sensitive does not require loss of judgment..

the truth remains that for many black women they are caught up in the same sense of beauty that their men have which renders them fearful of accepting their own and being themselves... not only are they fearful.. but many embrace the same euro aesthetic on their own ...... they prefer themselves to look a certain way.... and they see their natural beauty as inferior to euro style beauty.... whether their man approves or not....

being kind to a Black woman's struggles of insecurity, does not mean one has to ignore the foundation of the insecurity...or when its a personal preference, ignore the ignoble source of their beauty standards....

which is an adherence to euro beauty standards of aesthetics...


yeah

This is a general question...

Why is discussing or rather mentioning the foundational issues when it aplies to the subject of the thread labelled as being 'judgemental' or 'divisive'?

Is it that people can't handle the truth?
RoweRoweA1
quote:
Originally posted by Khalliqa:
Being sensitive does not require loss of judgment..

the truth remains that for many black women they are caught up in the same sense of beauty that their men have which renders them fearful of accepting their own and being themselves... not only are they fearful.. but many embrace the same euro aesthetic on their own ...... they prefer themselves to look a certain way.... and they see their natural beauty as inferior to euro style beauty.... whether their man approves or not....

being kind to a Black woman's struggles of insecurity, does not mean one has to ignore the foundation of the insecurity...or when its a personal preference, ignore the ignoble source of their beauty standards....

which is an adherence to euro beauty standards of aesthetics...


I agree.
RoweRoweA1
quote:
Originally posted by tru2urself16:
I myself, used to where a perm all the time as a teenager and it was mostly due to the fact that everyone else had one and I thought that it made my hair easier to deal with. But for the last four or five years I've been rocking my natural hair. The reason I have stayed natural is because I like it, my hair is so much more healthier than I thought it was.


Sister Tru, would you mind talking about your transition into natural hair in terms of how it made you feel? What was your personal experience? How did you eventually overcome your insecurities and fears?, because I think, too often, we focus on the end result of a major transition. Rarely, do we talk about the struggle. I think if more of us who wore natural hair styles publicly talked about how we eventually overcame our fears and learned to embrace our natural hair, then perhaps more African-American women would be encouraged to make the change as well.
RoweRoweA1
quote:
Originally posted by Oshun Auset:
yeah

This is a general question...

Why is discussing or rather mentioning the foundational issues when it aplies to the subject of the thread labelled as being 'judgemental' or 'divisive'?

Is it that people can't handle the truth?


Sister Oshun, girl, now I know you're not talking, because I've seen your hair. You don't have those tight, sister-girl curls like most Black women do. So the transition may not have been as traumatic for you as may have been for us. You're hair is almost straight! But let us consider the sister who has that strong, tightly-curled, and glorious crown of Mother Africa hair, ok. That is another matter entirely. You try tell that sister that she needs to leave the relaxer alone, and you're likely to get a mouthful.Big Grin
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RoweRoweA1
quote:
Originally posted by Khalliqa:
terms such as "judgemental" and "divisive" are often thrown at those who simply point out the foundation of someone's inability to deal with colorism and its effects on us all.....


I have to disagree with this, because wearing the hair straight doesn't exempt a Black woman from feeling the effects of racism and colorism. Regardless of the way a Black woman wears her hair, she must deal with the of experiences racism in her community, whether she wants to or not.

I think a lack of empathy on the part of some participants becomes apparent when those of us who are particularly strong-willed and socially rebellious, refuse to accept that not everyone can psychologically handle the fears and anxieties that inevitably come after making a decision to go completely natural. Simply because some of us may have the courage and rebellious will to follow through on this decision does not mean that everyone does. And if going natural were not "that big of a deal", then would certainly see everyone doing it, but we don't.

I realize that some of us are probably responding to those Black women who prefer to wear their hair straight because they have been convinced that straighter hair is better and more attractive. In response to these women, we are in agreement. But we must also consider those Black women who may have the desire to go natural, but are too afraid to do so, OR some Black women may simply like BOTH straight and natural styles. That is why, earlier in the discussion, I said that, nowadays, one cannot possibly determine the full extent of someone's consciousness based on a hairstyle.
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tru2urself16tru2urself16A1
quote:
Originally posted by Rowe:
Sister Tru, would you mind talking about your transition into natural hair in terms of how it made you feel? What was your personal experience? How did you eventually overcome your insecurities and fears?,


Well, when I first started going natural I was still in high school and it was a little tough. The beginning was the worst part because I was so used to being able to do one thing with my hair and then I couldn't. The ponytail didn't work because I had lost some hair on the sides and the roots were wavy and looked nappy while the ends were still straight. So I had to cut my hair, just the ends where the perm was still evident. Let me tell you that was difficult for me to do, my momma had to basically hold me down while she did it. I felt really just unhappy the first...maybe month and half with my appearance, no matter what I did, I didn't like it. It was difficult because at the time I was the only one in my circle of friends whose hair wasn't permed or weaved or straight and it was difficult to be different like that. But then I started noticing that my hair was growing and that it was healthier than I had seen it in a long time. After that I felt that I began to feel better about my appearance. So I picked my hair out into this big curly fluffy afro, bought a pair of hoop earring, took a flower from my granny's garden to put in my hair and developed my signature look fro! I found pride in the way I walked with my hair not swishing in the breeze, but more like standing up to it...I got power and strength I hadn't had before, almost like I could do anything. The beginning was rough like a lot of new things, but now it's really been better for me. I've even convinced a couple of my girlfriends to give up the straightening for the natural look.
RoweRoweA1
quote:
Originally posted by tru2urself16:
It was difficult because at the time I was the only one in my circle of friends whose hair wasn't permed or weaved or straight and it was difficult to be different like that. But then I started noticing that my hair was growing and that it was healthier than I had seen it in a long time. After that I felt that I began to feel better about my appearance. So I picked my hair out into this big curly fluffy afro, bought a pair of hoop earring, took a flower from my granny's garden to put in my hair and developed my signature look fro! I found pride in the way I walked with my hair not swishing in the breeze, but more like standing up to it...I got power and strength I hadn't had before, almost like I could do anything.


What a wonderful testimony! This is the kind of commentary that I think would encourage those who are apprehensive about becoming natural. Smile
RoweRoweA1
quote:
Originally posted by tru2urself16:
The beginning was rough like a lot of new things, but now it's really been better for me. I've even convinced a couple of my girlfriends to give up the straightening for the natural look.


Personally, I'm not the type of woman who will commit to one hairstyle for the rest of her life. Though my hair is chemical free, I change my hairstyle often. I decided to become natural after reading a book that I had originally purchased for my mother on her birthday called Where Beauty Touches Me(1993) by Pamela Ferrell. In the book, Ferrell talks about the damage that chemical relaxers cause to the hair follicle and scalp. Ferrell also talks about the effects of inhaling chemical relaxers during the application process. Armed with this information, I knew that having my hair chemcially straightned was no longer something that I wanted to do. I think the worse part of making this decision, for me, was having to constantly defend my decision to go natural. This can be a downright pain in the ass, especially when you have to see the reactions of people who don't hide the fact that they simply don't like it. It can be very distressing, especially for someone who is incredibly sensitive. However, your reassurance comes from knowing that your hair is in a much healthier condition.

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RoweRoweA1
By the way, msn.com has recently posted an article about the extent to which nonwhite women are going to erase their ethnicities. Apart of the article addresses Black women and chemical hair straightening. I thought you all might find the article interesting, and so you may want to visit the website and check out the article.
ladyjladyjC4
quote:
Originally posted by Oshun Auset:


yeah
This is a general question...

Why is discussing or rather mentioning the foundational issues when it aplies to the subject of the thread labelled as being 'judgemental' or 'divisive'?

Is it that people can't handle the truth?


i think too many ppl think that their way of thinking is the "truth".
i see no difference in a YT person judging my locs than a blk person judging my weave.
you simply cant assume all blk women have the same issues you may have had before you went natural.

i agree and understand everything that is said here. i also know some blk women and men dont even understand why they prefer straight hair. when they do realize and have that awakening its a beautiful thing.

i can never see the positive side of snubbing someone because of their hairstyle, when you thought they were worthy of getting to know beforehand.
Oshun AusetOshun AusetA1
quote:
Originally posted by Rowe:
quote:
Originally posted by Oshun Auset:
yeah

This is a general question...

Why is discussing or rather mentioning the foundational issues when it aplies to the subject of the thread labelled as being 'judgemental' or 'divisive'?

Is it that people can't handle the truth?


Sister Oshun, girl, now I know you're not talking, because I've seen your hair. You don't have those tight, sister-girl curls like most Black women do. So the transition may not have been as traumatic for you as may have been for us. You're hair is almost straight! But let us consider the sister who has that strong, tightly-curled, and glorious crown of Mother Africa hair, ok. That is another matter entirely. You try tell that sister that she needs to leave the relaxer alone, and you're likely to get a mouthful.Big Grin


lol Actually, I tell people this all the time. And because I'm not trying to be rude or judgemental, and express the 'love your natural beauty' mantra, I usually get a very positive reaction.

I'm well aware that my hair texture wasn't much of a transition... I understand 'who feels it knows it', but that does not prevent me from having empathy. I was referring to the response to Khalliqa's post(which is what my commentary was attached to)... Not any personal, and obviousely nonexistant 'difficult transition' on my part. Her post clarig=fied the foundational issues IMO, hence I co-signed and asked this question.

Watching some of my family and friend's go through the transition, I have seen the obstacles and issues that many have to go through. Often, especially 'down here' when a strongly African phenotyped women chooses to love herself naturally, it unfortunately results in a drastic decline in male attention.(as I mentioned on a previous thread). This is a reality, and an understandable real 'fear' that goes along with making the transition...
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