quote:
Originally posted by Nikcara:
By Sunnubian
[QUOTE][QUOTE]Originally posted by Nikcara:
"Good fathers get truly screwed because they want their kids but the mothers use the children as pawn for money. It is totally discretionary for the mother."
--------------------------------------------
This is not a totally true statement, though I am sure, no I know that there are some mothers out there like that, but usually, court ordered childsupport has a formula for computing childsupport, which takes into consideration both parents incomes which leaves each parent responsible for a proportionent share of the childsupport for the child(ren).
Usually the mothers that use their child a pawns for money from the fathers, the father are not paying under court ordered child support and are just either stupid or still so in love with the mother that he is going to give her anything that she wants anyway.
------------------------------------------
"But men, unlike women will not usually fight for their children."
----------------------------- Well, there you go . . .
---------------------------------------
"She would go to any length to get her kids back."
_______________________________________________
Well, there you go again . . .
---------------------------------------
"Until men fight as hard and as dirty for their children as women do, men will continue to pay child support. "
_____________________________________________
And until men show more by their actions that they love and care for their children as much as the mother does, not much will change. The courts in America know that usually children are going to be better off with their mothers in most cases (not all), because they also know that as you said above in so many words, a mother (at least most) will do ANYTHING to have her children with her and to take care of them, no matter what.
--------------------------------------------
Posts: 1223 | Registered: August 23, 2003
"I am not sure where you practice law, but in NJ, child support is calculated based on both incomes,"
-----------------------------------------------
I could have sworn that I stated that, but anyway, since that is how it is caculated, how can it be unfair to either party, especially to him or whichever parent does not actually have the children?
--------------------------------------------
"thereafter, the non-custodial parent, pays in cash or check directly to the cusotidal parent or to the child support office[in NJ it is called the Probation Department], who converts the cash into a check that is either deposited directly into the custodial parent's account or mailed to him or her."
-------------------------------------------
No, in New Jersey, it is called Family Court, parents that have to pay court ordered child support, whether directly or through wage garnishment are not automatically on probation. They may eventually come to be on probation for violation of the court order to pay in the first place.
__________________________________________
"The Custodial Parent has the discretion to spend the money as he or she see fit. There is no judical review of how the money is spent."
_______________________________________
This is what the custodial parent is supposed to do, spend the money as he or she sees fit for the benefit of the children, which may include making her car payment which is needed to get to work and the children to school, or yes, even her hair, clothes needed to be presentable on a job that she works on to support the children, because no matter what, if you are the custodial parent you are likely spending far more than the non-custodial parent in most cases: Non-custodial pays 500.00/mo child support; however, the rent or note on the house is 950.00 + utilities + groceries + clothing + medicine + gas + entertainment + school supplies + insurance + missellaneous; so, the non- custodial parent still get off on the better end of the bargain.
---------------------------------------
"Also I disagree that fathers that pay directly get screwed more. Actually, they get screwed less because no one can make them pay a specific amount or at a specific time."
_________________________________________
I did not say they get screwed more, I said, as above, they more often get the better part of the deal.
------------------------------------------
"Moreover, it is usually that the mother wants the father back and he'll say if you take me to court, I will never come back to you, so she does not."
-----------------------------------------
Women like this are stupid and I would question whether or not even they need to have custody of their own children, you know, if they will let their children suffer just for the possibility of 'getting back with' their father who does not want to pay child support.
___________________________________________
"Kinda like those women who are perpetually engage and refer to the man she has been shacking with for year or has multiple children by as her fiancee."
---------------------------------------------
I don't know what this has to do with a father's parental duty to support his children, but I do know women who fit that description.
_____________________________________________
"Also, I do not think that lying about the facts of your case is a good thing. Nor do I think that taking one parent away from kids for the sake of money is good for those kids."
-----------------------------------------------
I don't think people should lie to the court about the facts either, since, causing the children to come up lacking in some way or another or using the children as spite pawns only hurts the children.
___________________________________________
"Finally, I do not agree that children are necessarily better off with thier mothers than with their fathers or both parents for that matter. I do not think women are better parents because they give birth. Men cannot give birth so that could never be judged fairly on that matter."
--------------------------------------------
I know that some women are lousy parents, but in the majority of cases the mother does make the better parent because often, once a man is not longer living in the same house with his children, he will often times be out there too busy making another life (or family) for himself to be bothered with his own children from the estranged marriage/relationship.
-------------------------------------------
"I think that the nasty saying we have Mamma's baby, Daddy's maybe. Says more about what our socieity feels about women than the quality of care the child will receive."
--------------------------------------------
Well, society has been feeling that way for a looooong time now, since I have heard this phrase all my life, and really thought is was only a southern saying until now, however, with dna, now that saying no longer has any merit.
________________________________________________
"MOst of the children that live below the poverty level live with their mothers,I wonder what would happen if the children lived with thier fathers."
-----------------------------------------------
Most of the children that live below the poverty level were living there when their parents were together. If they lived with their fathers who are making poverty level wages, then they would remain below the poverty level. If they did not live below the poverty level before their parents broke up, then his proportionate share of child support and/or spousal support would keep them afloat.
_____________________________________________
I cannot immagine growing up without my father, thus I think it is important that fathers are around to raise thier children and not just partisipate like fans at a stadium. Each parent gives a child a unique perspective on life and everyday events. To delete one side for the sake of money is not in the childs best intersts. I think I now have my closing argument for the case I just finished trying.
-----------------------------------------------
This is correct and I am glad that you were raised with both parents in a loving home, but I don't think women break up with their husbands (and baby dadies) just to get child support. Child support only becomes and issue after the relationship has been severed. However, I personally believe that the children are not even thought of when couples are doing what ever they do to cause the marriage/relationship to end in the first place.
__________________________________________