Roll Eyes I been dating this guy for a while. I know in my heart he is no good for me..he is a hustler..he lives hand to mouth..for the moment..not knowing where he is going to get his next meal from., But even though I know this I am so in love with him. Even though he is like this..he never disrespects me and when I am around him I feel good. We have had our problems, he has cheated on me twice, but I have looked passed it. Just recently I broke it off with him because in short I thought he was cheating again, and we had some baby momma drama..I want him back but after all we have gone through my trust in him has diminished...what do I do..do I move on or try again,, and again till he gets it right? brofrown
aint nothing wrong with a big gurl...
Original Post
quote:
Originally posted by Tay:
Even though he is like this..he never disrespects me and when I am around him I feel good. We have had our problems, he has cheated on me twice, but I have looked passed it. Just recently I broke it off with him because in short I thought he was cheating again, and we had some baby momma drama..


This doesn't sound right. Isn't cheating, multiple times at that, disrespecting you? Please explain how it is not...(To yourself, not to me)...I say move on no matter how much you think you are in love. Remeber love is a two way street...and it sounds like you are on a one way. A cheating hustler with baby momma dramma is not a "catch". Don't you think you deserve better? Run as fast as you can, and work on loving yourself. You shouldn't even want to tollerate this kind of behavior.
quote:
Originally posted by Oshun Auset:
quote:
Originally posted by Tay:
Even though he is like this..he never disrespects me and when I am around him I feel good. We have had our problems, he has cheated on me twice, but I have looked passed it. Just recently I broke it off with him because in short I thought he was cheating again, and we had some baby momma drama..


This doesn't sound right. Isn't cheating, multiple times at that, disrespecting you? Please explain how it is not...(To yourself, not to me)...I say move on no matter how much you _think_ you are in love. Remeber love is a two way street...and it sounds like you are on a one way. A cheating hustler with baby momma dramma is not a "catch". Don't you think you deserve better? Run as fast as you can, and work on loving yourself. You shouldn't even want to tollerate this kind of behavior.



honestly sometimes i think i can't do any better cause I keep going through the same bull sheit time after time with men..maybe your right though i should run for the hills..from men period..
quote:
Originally posted by Tay:
honestly sometimes i think i can't do any better cause I keep going through the same bull sheit time after time with men..maybe your right though i should run for the hills..from men period..


There are good men out there. My mother always told me "You are going to have to kiss many toads before you find a prince. Just make sure you don't get warts!" Smile Cheer up. Time heals all wounds. But to truly expect someone to love and respect us we have to love and respect ourselves. It can be hard at times. But don't lower your standards.
A key part to a relationship is trust, and if you don't feel that you can trust him then there's no point in even wasting your time trying to rectify a situation which obviously keeps repeating itself. Some people think once a cheater always a cheater... maybe that's the case with your guy?

I hate to tell you to leave him and leave the situation because you say that you really love him and I know that's the last thing I want to hear when I'm in a hard situation... but keep in mind that a relationship built around broken promises and pain isn't necessarily a healthy relationship.
quote:
Originally posted by AudioGuy:
My sister Tay, I ain't no Dr. Phil, but I will say this; if you don't respect yourself no one else will either... Leave him, let go, regroup, recharge and move on.

You deserve better.


thanks..I am trying
Everyone I feel is giving Tay good advice. All I would add is that you might take sometime and invest in yourself. This, I would suggest, is the first step in breaking a cycle of dysfunctional relationships. Love yourself, work on areas where you feel needy, hurt, inadequate. Do not look for someone else to meet those needs. The best relationships come into being when both parties are healthy and whole individuals. It is in such a context that one can truly experience love, compassion, mutuality, and respect. I think that is what most of us truly desire, and what you truly deserve.Smile
quote:
Originally posted by Tay:
quote:
Originally posted by Oshun Auset:
quote:
Originally posted by Tay:
Even though he is like this..he never disrespects me and when I am around him I feel good. We have had our problems, he has cheated on me twice, but I have looked passed it. Just recently I broke it off with him because in short I thought he was cheating again, and we had some baby momma drama..


This doesn't sound right. Isn't cheating, multiple times at that, disrespecting you? Please explain how it is not...(To yourself, not to me)...I say move on no matter how much you _think_ you are in love. Remeber love is a two way street...and it sounds like you are on a one way. A cheating hustler with baby momma dramma is not a "catch". Don't you think you deserve better? Run as fast as you can, and work on loving yourself. You shouldn't even want to tollerate this kind of behavior.



honestly sometimes i think i can't do any better cause I keep going through the same bull sheit time after time with men..maybe your right though i should run for the hills..from men period..


You need to move on from this guy.

It will never work out. People barring some life/death experience generally do not change who they are at their core.

With regards to finding a "good man" (or conversely a "good woman" for guys) you have to look at what you are doing and where you are meeting these guys.

It's always different for everyone - but for future prospective guys I'd suggest you sit down by yourself and just go over where and how you meet the guys who are disrespecting you.

Once you figure that out you can then change what you need to change in order to find someone worthy of you.

Ain't easy to do - but you'll never find someone to make you happy till you do.

But then I'm just a dumb guy so what do I know? Wink

But someone wiser than me gave me that advice once which is how I ending up not dating anymore of the "skanky" type and met someone far better than I'll ever be (which is why I make sure I don't screw up: remember the old type of chicas vs my lady - so despite any pain those relationships may have caused you might be a purpose in it when you met the right guy)

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