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Getting into online with my people I read over and over again that because they can't find what they think they want,.. BW should Open their options and start dating more outside of just BM.

These SAME WOMEN in most cases have all sorts of issues with BM dating or getting married to any woman above a certain shade.

What is the ish??
"I save my sanity by giving it to others." 1PBM "Having a belief in a higher Good like God gives me parameters to live by. My default setting is God." -1PBM-
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quote:
Originally posted by 1PBM:
Getting into online with my people I read over and over again that because they can't find what they think they want,.. BW should Open their options and start dating more outside of just BM.

These SAME WOMEN in most cases have all sorts of issues with BM dating or getting married to any woman above a certain shade.

What is the ish??



Double standards are a bitch!!! Black men and Black women should BOTH be able to date whom ever they want.And don't get it twisted, there are double standards about IR marriage/dating in every race.

This double standard also exist among others in reverse.....
i guess in "their" minds its okay for a BW to date outside of her race b/c it is assumed that she has given BM a chance in the past and would give them more chances in the future but for now wants to try something new, not that they are excluding BM all togeather, but "they" feel like BM when dating outside their race never gave BW a chance and just automatically counted BW out.
I don't care who does what. Running my life takes 24/7 and I could use a few more hours in the day to accomplish the things that are truly important to me. I don't care if people date outside their race, or even their species if that is what turns them on.

I love Black men and make no apologies for it. Interracial dating is here to stay. Some people are okay with it and some are pissed. But as my Granddaddy used to say - the only person's opion that is important enough to govern your behaviors, believes, and charter is the one who is paying your mortgage and your car note. That, at this point, would be me.

I have far too many interracial relationships in my immediate family to trip about it. Three out of five of us married outside of our race. I love my little mix master babies just as much as I love my chocolate drop babies.

Every issue has a double standard ... it's just a part of life. As a business owner, I hear my own people say "I don't deal with Black business owners because one time ...." I have never heard them say "I will never go back to McDonald's because one time ..." We have much to learn.
The Real Taboo? Hollywood, Race, and Romance

This article originally appeared in IntelligenceSquad.com.

In a recent New York Times, columnist Nicholas Kristof asks when Hollywood will release a major motion picture in which a black man and white woman fall in love. Kristof raises an interesting point, but we feel his complaint misses the real problem, which is that Hollywood has shown a frustrating reluctance toward depicting romance between black men and black women.

Kristof's citing of Denzel Washington by way of example is particularly illustrative.

In his last twelve movies dating back to the year 1998, Denzel – the most popular black film actor in American history – has been romantically paired with a black woman lead exactly once. In "The Manchurian Candidate," "Man on Fire," "Antwone Fisher," "Remember the Titans," "The Hurricane," "The Bone Collector," "The Siege," and "Fallen" Denzel has no major romantic partner at all. Likewise the films "Courage Under Fire," "Virtuosity," "Crimson Tide," "The Pelican Brief," "Much Ado About Nothing," "Ricochet," "Heart Condition," "Glory," "Power," "A Soldier's Story," and "Carbon Copy."

In "Bone Collector" and "Pelican Brief" Denzel is paired with a white female lead (Angelina Jolie and Julia Roberts, respectively) who, though single, attractive, and facing classic Hollywood ˜woman-in-peril-looking-for-knight-in-shining-armor' scenarios, managed not to "hook up" with the handsome Washington throughout their respective films.

In "John Q," his character is married to a black woman played by Kimberly Elise, with whom he shares little in the way of romance throughout the suspense/drama. In "Manchurian Candidate," Elise plays a strange friend-like character who invites Denzel to stay in her apartment for an indefinite period. It is never even alluded to in the movie whether she has "relations" with him.

In "Training Day," Denzel's girlfriend is played by Latina actress Eva Mendes (also cited by Kristof in his column for being paired with Will Smith in this year's "Hitch"). Note how far Hollywood had to go to pull this pairing off: Mendes's character is the only person in her entire neighborhood who is not black. Where in the world they imported her from to drop her into this film's black ghetto is beyond us.



In "Mississippi Masala" Denzel falls for an Indian woman.

In the thriller "Out of Time" Denzel has a romantic affair with a married character played by black actress Sanaa Lathan. By the end of the film, Lathan has double-crossed Denzel, who begins to show rekindled interest in his colleague and ex-wife, played by...Eva Mendes.

In "He Got Game," his character falls for a white prostitute.

You have to go to "The Preacher's Wife" – nine years and 13 movies ago – to find Denzel in a traditional Hollywood romantic pairing with a black lead actress (Whitney Houston).



Kristof also cites actress Reese Witherspoon, one of Hollywood's blonde "it" girls of the moment, in his dream interracial casting scenario. But in doing so he overlooks Julia Stiles – who, while not as blonde as Witherspoon, is at least as white. Twice in the last four years Stiles has played opposite black romantic leads (Mekhi Phifer in "O" and Sean Patrick Thomas in "Save the Last Dance").

Kristof is right, though, to point out the relative comfort Hollywood – and by extension, America – has with depicting black female/white male relationships. Witness Halle Berry, who in the past decade has played opposite non-black leads in "Catwoman," "Die Another Day," "Monster's Ball," "Swordfish," "Introducing Dorothy Dandridge," "Bulworth," the TV movie "The Wedding," and "The Rich Man's Wife," and opposite blacks in just the TV movie "Their Eyes Were Watching God" and the bio-pic "Why Do Fools Fall In Love?" 2006 expects to see releases in which Berry plays a woman who is raped by a white man and Lathan plays a woman who, determined to marry and finding few good black prospects, partners with a white man.



Being half of an interracial couple himself, Kristof has fair reason to wonder out loud about Hollywood's lack of recognition of certain types of such couples. But if Hollywood is to get its priorities straight, it will get up to speed on producing more films along the lines of "The Best Man," "Brown Sugar," "Love and Basketball," and "Disappearing Acts" – in which African-Americans engage in romantic situations with each other – before worrying about depicting the much rarer interracial relationship.

Tom Grayman is an activist, pollster, and author of the book Ghosts of Florida: Making Elections Fair for Blacks. This commentary originally appeared on his website link IntelligenceSquad.com. He can be reached at tgrayman@earthlink.net.
Last edited {1}
quote:
Originally posted by Sweetwuzzy:
The Real Taboo? Hollywood, Race, and Romance

This article originally appeared in IntelligenceSquad.com.

In a recent New York Times, columnist Nicholas Kristof asks when Hollywood will release a major motion picture in which a black man and white woman fall in love. Kristof raises an interesting point, but we feel his complaint misses the real problem, which is that Hollywood has shown a frustrating reluctance toward depicting romance between black men and black women.

Kristof's citing of Denzel Washington by way of example is particularly illustrative.

In his last twelve movies dating back to the year 1998, Denzel – the most popular black film actor in American history – has been romantically paired with a black woman lead exactly once. In "The Manchurian Candidate," "Man on Fire," "Antwone Fisher," "Remember the Titans," "The Hurricane," "The Bone Collector," "The Siege," and "Fallen" Denzel has no major romantic partner at all. Likewise the films "Courage Under Fire," "Virtuosity," "Crimson Tide," "The Pelican Brief," "Much Ado About Nothing," "Ricochet," "Heart Condition," "Glory," "Power," "A Soldier's Story," and "Carbon Copy."

In "Bone Collector" and "Pelican Brief" Denzel is paired with a white female lead (Angelina Jolie and Julia Roberts, respectively) who, though single, attractive, and facing classic Hollywood ˜woman-in-peril-looking-for-knight-in-shining-armor' scenarios, managed not to "hook up" with the handsome Washington throughout their respective films.

In "John Q," his character is married to a black woman played by Kimberly Elise, with whom he shares little in the way of romance throughout the suspense/drama. In "Manchurian Candidate," Elise plays a strange friend-like character who invites Denzel to stay in her apartment for an indefinite period. It is never even alluded to in the movie whether she has "relations" with him.

In "Training Day," Denzel's girlfriend is played by Latina actress Eva Mendes (also cited by Kristof in his column for being paired with Will Smith in this year's "Hitch"). Note how far Hollywood had to go to pull this pairing off: Mendes's character is the only person in her entire neighborhood who is not black. Where in the world they imported her from to drop her into this film's black ghetto is beyond us.



In "Mississippi Masala" Denzel falls for an Indian woman.

In the thriller "Out of Time" Denzel has a romantic affair with a married character played by black actress Sanaa Lathan. By the end of the film, Lathan has double-crossed Denzel, who begins to show rekindled interest in his colleague and ex-wife, played by...Eva Mendes.

In "He Got Game," his character falls for a white prostitute.

You have to go to "The Preacher's Wife" – nine years and 13 movies ago – to find Denzel in a traditional Hollywood romantic pairing with a black lead actress (Whitney Houston).



Kristof also cites actress Reese Witherspoon, one of Hollywood's blonde "it" girls of the moment, in his dream interracial casting scenario. But in doing so he overlooks Julia Stiles – who, while not as blonde as Witherspoon, is at least as white. Twice in the last four years Stiles has played opposite black romantic leads (Mekhi Phifer in "O" and Sean Patrick Thomas in "Save the Last Dance").

Kristof is right, though, to point out the relative comfort Hollywood – and by extension, America – has with depicting black female/white male relationships. Witness Halle Berry, who in the past decade has played opposite non-black leads in "Catwoman," "Die Another Day," "Monster's Ball," "Swordfish," "Introducing Dorothy Dandridge," "Bulworth," the TV movie "The Wedding," and "The Rich Man's Wife," and opposite blacks in just the TV movie "Their Eyes Were Watching God" and the bio-pic "Why Do Fools Fall In Love?" 2006 expects to see releases in which Berry plays a woman who is raped by a white man and Lathan plays a woman who, determined to marry and finding few good black prospects, partners with a white man.



Being half of an interracial couple himself, Kristof has fair reason to wonder out loud about Hollywood's lack of recognition of certain types of such couples. But if Hollywood is to get its priorities straight, it will get up to speed on producing more films along the lines of "The Best Man," "Brown Sugar," "Love and Basketball," and "Disappearing Acts" – in which African-Americans engage in romantic situations with each other – before worrying about depicting the much rarer interracial relationship.

Tom Grayman is an activist, pollster, and author of the book Ghosts of Florida: Making Elections Fair for Blacks. This commentary originally appeared on his website link IntelligenceSquad.com. He can be reached at tgrayman@earthlink.net.


First of all, they can start by stop making these psuedo-romantic black films like "Two Can Play That Game" and "Deliver Us From Eva."

Not every sister is a man-hating, castrating shrew, and not every brother is a playa... nor should they be thought of as such.

We can't be like Mike...Jackson, Jordan, Tyson, and/or Vick. bsm
quote:
Originally posted by msprettygirl:
OMG-huey i know what you mean, i hate those kind of movies!!!! bang scream


Speaking of which, have you seen "Girlfriends" on UPN? IMO, those women are dysfunctional!
If you watch it for entertainment/shock value, then it's for you...but if you're watching it to see how middle class black people tick, you would want nothing to do with a black person henceforth.
The only good thing about "Girlfriends" is that it makes me appreciate the show "Living Single".
quote:
Originally posted by msprettygirl:
i actually like girlfriends its funny to me.


I'm glad to know there's one I person I know of that likes the show. I don't know about you, but as a guy, the character Toni Childs must be the sexiest woman that I never want to meet. I know plenty of sisters in my hometown and at work that are independent who I get along with, but Toni has one of the most rancid attitudes I've ever seen on a woman on television. How can someone so fine could have an attitude so ...shitty???

You can grow farm produce with her personality. I don't know how in the world does she keeps friends. My female friends would've put their collective foot in Toni's butt so many times, that the crack of her ass would look like a shoe display at Dillards.
i know-i wouldn't put up with her shit either! offRemember when she was gonna leave todd because she found out he was in debt and a woman came to the spa pretending to be a jewler from Harry and Winston(i think) and repossessed the ring right off her finger! lol
but she sounds and acts nothing like that in real life-she plays that part so well, it makes me wonder...
I don't remember that episode, but I do remember when she wanted to see her ex Greg, and Todd was getting ready to leave her.

To get back on topic, I only agree with the "race and romance taboo" article to an extent. America, or specifically Hollywood, have a serious fear of black men loving ANYBODY...especially loving black women. In fact, I'll go out and say the scariest thing in Hollywood (America) that's worse than being robbed or raped by a black guy, is to fall in love with one. Anybody can have a "booty call" but to have a relationship with a black man/woman (black-black couples included), scares the hell out of Hollywood...especially those in love with non-thuggish black men.

That's why these fake so-called black romantic comedies like "The Brothers" are so plentiful, yet so far from the truth, since not every brother is a baller or player, and not every sister is a shrewish, ghetto-fabulous, thug-lusting sapphire.
quote:
Originally posted by Huey:

....I'm glad to know there's one I person I know of that likes the show. I don't know about you, but as a guy, the character Toni Childs must be the sexiest woman that I never want to meet. I know plenty of sisters in my hometown and at work that are independent who I get along with, but Toni has one of the most rancid attitudes I've ever seen on a woman on television. How can someone so fine could have an attitude so ...shitty???.



Dear Huey,
You are not the only one that finds the character Toni Childs rather viral...yes...she reminds me of a virus....out for self with a blatant disposition to use others. I must say that I really thank God that such sistas are rather rare in my experience. But more importantly, it saddens me that the producer(s) of the show find it rather tasteful to portray sistas as such and again without much opposition by us at large...or is there something I am missing?

Felix
quote:
Originally posted by 1PBM:
Getting into online with my people I read over and over again that because they can't find what they think they want,.. BW should Open their options and start dating more outside of just BM.

These SAME WOMEN in most cases have all sorts of issues with BM dating or getting married to any woman above a certain shade.

What is the ish??


that would require BW approaching other races of men...many BW dont approach any man ever. So in order to make your thoughts a reality, BW will have to develop a new skill [aaproaching men] and use it effectively enough to get a man. Nice theory, not likely to happen.
quote:
Originally posted by 1PBM:
Getting into online with my people I read over and over again that because they can't find what they think they want,.. BW should Open their options and start dating more outside of just BM.

These SAME WOMEN in most cases have all sorts of issues with BM dating or getting married to any woman above a certain shade.

What is the ish??
I can only respond to this by using a thought that I had in another thread:
    "I read somewhere in the thread something about Black men not limiting themselves, Black women come in all shades, sizes, shapes and speak every language there is... any brother who thinks he is "limiting" himself by only dating Black women, is a fool."
JMO.
quote:
Originally posted by msprettygirl:
i guess in "their" minds its okay for a BW to date outside of her race b/c it is assumed that she has given BM a chance in the past and would give them more chances in the future but for now wants to try something new, not that they are excluding BM all togeather, but "they" feel like BM when dating outside their race never gave BW a chance and just automatically counted BW out.


I too once ascribed to this way of thinking because that was my experience. After a few bad experiences with BM (all in a row and one involving a pregnancy), I decided to give WM a try. One guy felt he was God's appointed Saviour to the black race, the other was a dream who was in complete and utter awe at my blackness, and the last one was just...oh sheesh, that's a whole nother forum.

Two things I found out dating outside of my race:
1. Men are men. They all have issues, quirks, and good and bad things about them. Though I have noticed that WM are highly well mannered and are quick to do whatever to please.
2.It's not that easy to jump back into the BM dating game.In my small town, if it's known that you have or do date WM, you're pretty much written off by BM. Not negatively, they just don't approach you because they think you ONLY date WM.

Case in point: I approached a hometown brotha one time and I was floored to find out that he had been watching me for awhile and always wanted to talk to me but he didn't because he thought I only dated white guys. I questioned my best friend about it and found out that was the general consensus amongst most BM in my town.

I laughed at the irony of the situation because there were so many BM that I just KNEW only talked to white girls and never gave BW a chance.

Now when I see BW with WM, I feel a twinge of what I used too, but mainly I just hope that they're open minded and not just flat out tired of BM.

'Cause from my experience I've finally found out that nothing is more beautiful than Black on Black love.

Have any other members who have dated WM experienced something similar?

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